Things Characters from LOTR would NEVER Say

[Sadie von Nachten]

Eowyn: Aragorn, you're totes grody, brahh.
Aragorn: No way, broham!
Eowyn: Chyeah way, brodad!

-x-x-x-

Sauron: O, Froggie went a-courtin' and he did ride, uh-huh...

-x-x-x-

Galdriel: I sharted.

-x-x-x-

Saruman: Smack my butt, Frodo!
Frodo: OKIE DOKIE!
Goldberry: Evening, Frodo, I brought the chimichangas...WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH SARUMAN? YOU CUR! YOU ANIMAL! Y-Y-YOU HOUND! Oh, I'm a-gettin' the shotgun now. You'd best run 'cause I'm gonna git you! Awooooo!
Saruman: She's gone hillbilly again! Flee for your life!

-x-x-x-

Gollum: I wish I had a pony, a lovely white pony named Priscilla, and she shall be my dear pony for ever!

[BethySaysRawr]

pennysattack

Gandolph: i eats s**t...
Get it, Gandolph would say "eat" not "eats"
Sam: I don't eat s**t...
Get it, because hes a fat hobbit basterd...

don't mess with LOTR >=C
and it's GANDALF, no gandolph
and if you're gonna say b*****d, spell it right.
thanks smile

[Tifa Lockhart1991]

Frodo: we welcome you to the lollypop gild

Gollom: Im Sexy

[Suiveur de Dieu]

Frodo and Sam are laying on the rocks next to Mount Doom after they destroyed the ring.
Frodo: "Well.... That was fun."


Frodo and Sam standing at the end of Fellowship of the Ring, looking over Mount Doom from far away
Frodo: "Sam. I'm glad you're with me."
Sam: "Ah... yeah..." //looking at Mount Doom.
-awkward silence-
Sam: "Can I go back?"
Frodo: "NO, a*****e, YOU FOLLOWED ME, YOU'RE STAYING."




Frodo: "I have to destroy the ring, Smeagol."
Smeagol: "I beg you to reconsider."



Nazgul guy: "COME AT ME BRO."
Eowyn: "I AM NO BRO."

Stole that one. Yes.


Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas following the Orcs that have Merry and Pippin.
Aragorn: "Gah, I'm tired guys."
Gimli: "Come on, we're gaining on them!"
Legolas: "No, he's right... let's stop somewhere."
Gimli: "BUT THE HOBBITS."
Aragorn: "Let's just put it off until tomorrow."
Legolas: "Yeah."
Gimli: "WUT."
Legolas: "DRINKS ON ME!"
Aragorn: "PARTY."
Gimli: "SCREW DRINKING, THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD."
Legolas: "LOL, whatevs bro."



And... that's it. They're funnier in my head. :' D

[narutogirl1991]

Gollom: im sexy and i know it

[mouthfarts]

Gollum - ******** this ring.

[ReiaVasilis]

Sauruman - 'On second thought maybe calling myself Sauruman of many colours doesn't have quite the same feel about it. What do you think?'

Gandalf - 'I like it better'.


Theoden - 'Hmm maybe having a drain at the foot of this wall isn't the best idea, apparently gun powder was just invented'

Eomer - 'I don't see what could possibly go wrong'



Pippin - 'Who decided we should eat so many times during the day? I think we'd better cut back'


Frodo - 'Forget this, who even cares if this stupid ring is destroyed'


Boromir - 'That ring is nothing but trouble we should definitely destroy it'.

Arwen - 'I know I shouldn't be in this scene but come on they were never going to put Glorifindel in'.

Eowyn - 'What? A sword...don't be absurd what would I even do with it'

[Happier Barbecue]

Melkor: Hey Manwe! Whatcha doin'? Making a mountain? *knocks mountain over* Woops, I'm such a klutz, I didn't mean to knock it over.

*****

Arwen: Aragorn. I'm pregnant.

Aragorn: OHhh.... Well see I have some stuff I have to do..... I'll be back... soon...? Bye now.

[Furious Tarantula]

Gimli: You killed more than me!