Things Characters from LOTR would NEVER Say

[Feathoron]

lol I've done this before... some of my favs:
Legolas: Gollum, there's one thing I've always wanted to say to you. . . Your hair is so pretty!
Legolas: Those Dwarf women look quite steamin'!
Legolas: Gimli, you should really dye your hair blonde; blondes have more fun, y'know.
Legolas: Darn! I ran out of arrows!
Legolas: Gimli, I am your FATHER!
Legolas: I missed that orc with my arrow! *gasp*
Legolas: Stupid... fat... fan girls... my poor character... they ruinsssss it! (well, he might say that , lol)
Pippin: Yeah, I know Gandalf, Fool of a Took. *sigh*
Pippin: A drink... no thanks... I'm rethinking my life.

[suidonai]

*Frodo puts on the ring*
Frodo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA im invisible HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i can do anything i want I'll make a list to what i wanna do
1 Steal Some good weaponry
2 Steal Items
3 steal money
4 figure out how to make a time machine
5 Build it
6 Go back in time
7 Kill Sam
8 Go back before that and kill him again
9 Go back to my own time and steal some more
10 Save the world by throwing the ring in the fire............... Nah i'll do............. something else i guess

[PearlZenith]

What Legolas (in the movie) should have said: Who bleached my hair? scream

[Mellygwen]

PearlZenith

What Legolas (in the movie) should have said: Who bleached my hair? scream

I actually pictured him blonde...hmmm.

[InuYasha12345Kagome]

Samwise-I'm with Frodo just because I want the ring

[Feathoron]

Mellygwen

PearlZenith

What Legolas (in the movie) should have said: Who bleached my hair? scream

I actually pictured him blonde...hmmm.

Me too... I didn't see it being shoulder length, but I saw it blonde.

[Arsinoe Selene]

Mellygwen

PearlZenith

What Legolas (in the movie) should have said: Who bleached my hair? scream

I actually pictured him blonde...hmmm.

Blonde, yes, just not quite so... white. More of a golden, I think is what the books say.

[mallove]

Sauron: just say no to rings of power

[dacey]

(in lothlorien)
Galadriel: LEGOLAS!! scream I FOUND THIS IN MY FOUNTAIN, IS IT YOURS?!?!?! (holding a chunk of hair)
Legolas: umm...no....thats haldir's!
(galadriel turn to haldir)
Galadriel: HALDIR! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, YOU CAN NOT USE MY FOUNTAIN AS A BATH!!!!! scream
Haldir: thats not mine!!!!! surprised
(legolas sneak away)

(in moria)
(boromir gets undercovers with merry)
Boromir: hi pippin.
Merry: boromir!! eek i told you before im not pippin!
Boromir: oops! o well, its all the same ist it?!!

(helms deep)
(aragorn tries to go out the site door, gimli follows)
Aragorn: GIMLI!!!
Gimli: what?!?!
Aragorn:stop following me! im trying to escape!!
Gimli: *gasp* i thought you were going to kill the uruk-hai.
Aragorn: well im not, im scared of them, i want to go home gonk
Gimli: Theoden is waiting for you to kill them so he can baricade the door.
Aragorn: screw theoden, that stupid a**, if he wants them killed he can do it himself!! this is his stupid fault, i told him to stay at edoras!!!!! im going to gondor so I can be king!
(aragorn jumps down the rocks and runs away)
Aragorn: [distant]hahahahahahahaha! suckers!
Gimli: crap! come back! i cant get back inside, i need you to toss me!!!!
(aragorn disappears)
Gimli: well screw you too!
(gimli sits down, starts smoking, takes out "playdwarf" [playboy], reads it)

[lol, im not very good at this! sweatdrop ]

[Beagle_Cat-Fish]

Actually, yours is pretty good.

[waterfallin]

pippin:gandalf, do u think frodo will make it
Gandalf: of course not, u idiot, hes a stupid little hobbit, it was either him or me, geez, have u no brains in your head!

Sauron:this bloody eye itches like mad, does anyone have any eye drops?

[dacey]

ringwraith no.5: yay its my birthday!
sauron: your my favourite ringwraith. here, hav a present, i made it myself.
ringwraith no.5: ya, its a ring!! n its shiny, i love shiny things!!!
sauron: happy birthday.
..... 16398375 years later.....
sauron: yay its my birthday!
ringwraith no.5: i got u a present!
sauron: yay!
ringwraith no.5: i got u coloured contacts, theyr orange.
sauron: yay, my favourite colour, just wat ive always wanted!
ringwraith no.5: happy birthday!
ringwraith no.5:you kno, uve always been my favourite evil eye.

[Acata]

Here's my go at it:

aragorn: Ahhhh!!! my hair is all messed up! Legolas, can i borrow your comb?
Legolas: Here, you can keep it
----------------------
Gandalf: Pippin, why dont you take the ring, you are so much more responsible than Frodo
-----------------------

Look for more later, it's too late for me to think at my house

[BitchesBrew]

Frodo: Im not gay.

[dacey]

hahahah!

cant think ov a good 1 yet, but keep a look out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xp