Things Characters from LOTR would NEVER Say

[B00M_H34DSH07]

Arwen as aragon kisses her at the end of ROTK: just jerking you 'round-i'm engaged to legolas

legolas to gimili just after moria number 1: have you ever thought of ,you know, being more than friends? stare

legolas to gimili just after moria number 2: you know beards arn't the only things i can pull and dwarves arn't the only thing i can toss? stare

[crewshin]

aragorn: hey sauron, want to play>

arwen: hey smeagal, are you there>

gandalf: hey sauron, are you smiling?

samwise gamgee: hey smeagal, want to fish?

eomer: galadriel, wanna get married?

[Morgoth Morion]

I... made... Erestor... giggle? eek

mrgreen

*peeks under milady skirt robe*

Sentinel: What are you doing? You're not supposed to peek under anyone's skirt but mine!

Sorry. Just curious. *peeks under Sentinel's skirt instead*

Sentinel: Me and my big mouth. xp

And to put us on topic:

Morgoth to Luthien: Will you marry me? Sauron made this ring... and I will give you a Silmaril too.

[nightangel21]

Gendalf: lets get a room

[Lady Whispers]

Gandalf: psych! The ring is totally benevolent and, like, I've just been sending these orcs after my little hobbits for some fun.

[-x-Ichigo-Chan-x-]

hehehe 4laugh

[Morgoth Morion]

Eöl: Usstan tlun Eöl d' Qu'ellar Do'Urden

[Laura Vandemar]

rolleyes Someone found the drow translator.

Ungoliant: Jewels? Why would I want to eat jewels? Chocolate is a girl's best friend!

[Fleet Street Phantom]

Morgoth: Actually, I've decided to devote the entirety of my unjustly seized power to community service...

[Peppermint4]

Gollum: Master! Please! We will suck the master's d**k for the precious!

[crewshin]

Gandalf asking the goblins of moria whos your father?

[Hatsuyuki-taichou]

...
-ashamed-

[vmfvimeriv]

Frodo: Herp

Sam: Derp

Legolas: Herpin n Derpin

[SolrSurfr3]

Sam: Screw this, I'm going home. Good luck, Frodo!

[Nurse Amalie]

Gimli: Does this chain mail make me look fat?

Legolas: Man I'm getting sick of all these trees.

Aragorn: Wait, are we going in circles? Where are we?

Gandalf: I love you guys.

Frodo: Bilbo is SOOOOOOOO ANNOYING. UGH.

Boromir: Eek! Orcs! Every man for himself!

Sam: Frodo is SOOOOOOOO ANNOYING. UGH.

Pippin: Chill, everyone, I got this.

Merry: Eowyn, have you considered just putting out to win him over?