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Eruravenne

If I had a husband like that, I'd divorce him. rolleyes (This is probably why I'm 29 and still not married. lol)


Lolita to me is a hobby that I enjoy partaking in. It's not the basis of my relationship. I understand where he is coming from because to him, it's not what people wear everyday. When we started dating, I was a cosplayer. But I only wore it at conventions and had no reason to wear it out in public. I only got into Lolita this year, and it was kind of a replacement of cosplay because I don't have the time to sew costumes anymore, but I want to dress up at conventions still, because it's part of the experience. We also do lots of work at conventions together.

He's also introverted and doesn't like to draw too much attention to himself. While I'm the same in many aspects, I'm also a little more daring than he is. But I respect how he feels about it. I wear it to conventions and meetups. Sometimes I wear a casual coord if a friend in our con-circle is having a get-together. But I won't go out with it with him to the grocery store. If I went by myself or a friend, I would. But me being shy, I'd just wear something really causal and try to make it as normal looking as possible. Now, if I was going out with Lolita friends, I'd be all up for dressing to the 9's. But I haven't established much of a close friendship with any lolis in the local area yet, me being new and all.

Anyhow, It's the same kind of respect he shows me in regards to me not being interested in guns. He won't take me to a gun show because he knows it's not my thing. I won't take him to a meetup because he wouldn't want to be there. I don't force him to ride rollercoasters because he hates them and I love them. He loves olive loaf and I think it's nasty. lol. When you're in relationships, people have different interests. So really it's not THAT big a deal for me, except that I spent so much on this stuff, and I wish I could wear it more often, is all. It's not what brought us together, and is not the basis of my life.
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Eruravenne

If I had a husband like that, I'd divorce him. rolleyes (This is probably why I'm 29 and still not married. lol)


Lolita to me is a hobby that I enjoy partaking in. It's not the basis of my relationship. I understand where he is coming from because to him, it's not what people wear everyday. When we started dating, I was a cosplayer. But I only wore it at conventions and had no reason to wear it out in public. I only got into Lolita this year, and it was kind of a replacement of cosplay because I don't have the time to sew costumes anymore, but I want to dress up at conventions still, because it's part of the experience. We also do lots of work at conventions together.

He's also introverted and doesn't like to draw too much attention to himself. While I'm the same in many aspects, I'm also a little more daring than he is. But I respect how he feels about it. I wear it to conventions and meetups. Sometimes I wear a casual coord if a friend in our con-circle is having a get-together. But I won't go out with it with him to the grocery store. If I went by myself or a friend, I would. But me being shy, I'd just wear something really causal and try to make it as normal looking as possible. Now, if I was going out with Lolita friends, I'd be all up for dressing to the 9's. But I haven't established much of a close friendship with any lolis in the local area yet, me being new and all.

Anyhow, It's the same kind of respect he shows me in regards to me not being interested in guns. He won't take me to a gun show because he knows it's not my thing. I won't take him to a meetup because he wouldn't want to be there. I don't force him to ride rollercoasters because he hates them and I love them. He loves olive loaf and I think it's nasty. lol. When you're in relationships, people have different interests. So really it's not THAT big a deal for me, except that I spent so much on this stuff, and I wish I could wear it more often, is all. It's not what brought us together, and is not the basis of my life.


Hey, you were the one complaining about how it's his fault that you can't wear Lolita as much as you want. And I did say that my feelings toward the issue have probably contributed to my perpetually single status (which I don't have a problem with, by the way). I understand how relationships are supposed to work, but you made it sound like he makes fun of you and his feelings dictate how you dress. Even if that's not what you meant, that's how it sounded to me and that's why I responded the way I did. I'm not the kind of person who would put up with that for even one second. In my opinion, two people in a relationship should support each other's interests, even if they don't share them. But what do I know?
I never mentioned that he made fun of me in it, but I can see how it could be implied. He just doesn't like me to wear it out in public with him, is all. To him it's a costume and inappropriate to wear outside conventions. Because I work so much, I don't get to go out a whole lot (I miss a lot of meetups), and therefore don't really wear it as much as I'd like. I think my job plays a bigger factor in me not wearing it than he does. smile
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Rhissy
Where could I find some pretty dresses? I'm kind of on the large side. I have a feeling SOMEONE is going to make fat comments, but eh, whatever. Help?


Yup, I guess SOMEONE is smile
Nothing wrong with being fat, but you need to consider other people when you make your dress choice.
For example, fat people shouldn't wear tank tops and cutoff jean-shorts because it's hideous for other people to look at, but on a slender blonde 20-something girl, it would be quite ok to wear.
If you want to dress in Lolita fashion, just make sure you wear something modest and in theme. Don't go for a sexy look when your body type won't match the outfit... Unless you WANT to repulse everyone and make them laugh at you =P. Oh, and be made fun of on 4chan, ofc. Lol.
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Rhissy
Where could I find some pretty dresses? I'm kind of on the large side. I have a feeling SOMEONE is going to make fat comments, but eh, whatever. Help?


Yup, I guess SOMEONE is smile
Nothing wrong with being fat, but you need to consider other people when you make your dress choice.
For example, fat people shouldn't wear tank tops and cutoff jean-shorts because it's hideous for other people to look at, but on a slender blonde 20-something girl, it would be quite ok to wear.
If you want to dress in Lolita fashion, just make sure you wear something modest and in theme. Don't go for a sexy look when your body type won't match the outfit... Unless you WANT to repulse everyone and make them laugh at you =P. Oh, and be made fun of on 4chan, ofc. Lol.

No, no, no. Fat people can wear whatever they want. They can wear anything that skinny people can. What you said is so wrong for two reasons:
1. You don't get to tell other people what to wear. Period.
2. You are talking on the assumption that everyone finds larger people unattractive and skinny people attractive, and this is far from true. If she needs to cover herself up because SOME people will find her unattractive, then everyone needs to, including yourself.
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Where could I find some pretty dresses? I'm kind of on the large side. I have a feeling SOMEONE is going to make fat comments, but eh, whatever. Help?


Yup, I guess SOMEONE is smile
Nothing wrong with being fat, but you need to consider other people when you make your dress choice.
For example, fat people shouldn't wear tank tops and cutoff jean-shorts because it's hideous for other people to look at, but on a slender blonde 20-something girl, it would be quite ok to wear.
If you want to dress in Lolita fashion, just make sure you wear something modest and in theme. Don't go for a sexy look when your body type won't match the outfit... Unless you WANT to repulse everyone and make them laugh at you =P. Oh, and be made fun of on 4chan, ofc. Lol.

No, no, no. Fat people can wear whatever they want. They can wear anything that skinny people can. What you said is so wrong for two reasons:
1. You don't get to tell other people what to wear. Period.
2. You are talking on the assumption that everyone finds larger people unattractive and skinny people attractive, and this is far from true. If she needs to cover herself up because SOME people will find her unattractive, then everyone needs to, including yourself.


People CAN and DO tell you how to dress. Men can't go into a club in shorts or singlets or thongs, no one can walk around naked in public, no one can walk around in their underwear in public, schools force you to wear a uniform, work places have a dress code (which often stipulate women in customer facing roles MUST wear makeup).

1. People can dress how they like, so long as they're happy to suffer the consequences of dressing that way. Ugly women who dress like skanks are inconsiderate arseholes who deserve all the "bullying" and "teasing" they get.
2. The vast majority of guys find skinny women sexier than fat women. In fact, the vast majority of men are actually sexually repulsed by fat people.

So err... Deal with it?
Liona Lionheart's avatar

Fashionable Gawker

Plus size or not plus size, if you're on a budget or have a not so standard body type for lolita, than best bet is to learn to sew. I usually do blouses and skirts, because I have a hard time finding JSKs that fit me well, I'm not that good at sewing yet, and I'm on a budget what with paying for school and living expenses. Being an adult is hard!

On the relationships thing, take heart, I'm married. The right guy is hard to find, but they exist. My husband loves me because I'm not like most other girls, he doesn't understand or like everything I wear(he's not derogatory about it, and does like some of it), but he likes that I'm creative. He's not dandy or aristocratic in his style at all either. Hubby is actually rather all American country boy lol.
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Zeo_de_Gambino
JessieKateRose
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Rhissy
Where could I find some pretty dresses? I'm kind of on the large side. I have a feeling SOMEONE is going to make fat comments, but eh, whatever. Help?


Yup, I guess SOMEONE is smile
Nothing wrong with being fat, but you need to consider other people when you make your dress choice.
For example, fat people shouldn't wear tank tops and cutoff jean-shorts because it's hideous for other people to look at, but on a slender blonde 20-something girl, it would be quite ok to wear.
If you want to dress in Lolita fashion, just make sure you wear something modest and in theme. Don't go for a sexy look when your body type won't match the outfit... Unless you WANT to repulse everyone and make them laugh at you =P. Oh, and be made fun of on 4chan, ofc. Lol.

No, no, no. Fat people can wear whatever they want. They can wear anything that skinny people can. What you said is so wrong for two reasons:
1. You don't get to tell other people what to wear. Period.
2. You are talking on the assumption that everyone finds larger people unattractive and skinny people attractive, and this is far from true. If she needs to cover herself up because SOME people will find her unattractive, then everyone needs to, including yourself.


People CAN and DO tell you how to dress. Men can't go into a club in shorts or singlets or thongs, no one can walk around naked in public, no one can walk around in their underwear in public, schools force you to wear a uniform, work places have a dress code (which often stipulate women in customer facing roles MUST wear makeup).

1. People can dress how they like, so long as they're happy to suffer the consequences of dressing that way. Ugly women who dress like skanks are inconsiderate arseholes who deserve all the "bullying" and "teasing" they get.
2. The vast majority of guys find skinny women sexier than fat women. In fact, the vast majority of men are actually sexually repulsed by fat people.

So err... Deal with it?
First of all, pretty women who dress like skanks are not better than ugly women who dress the same.

Second of all, all of your examples are dress codes set by law or establishments. The bouncer at the club can only deny you access to that club if you don't follow the dress code. Schools don't come to your house and tell you you have to wear your uniform at home. The cops don't care if you go naked in your own home. Etc.

Third of all, you are a shallow closed minded, prejudiced jerk.

And lastly, different men like different types. Most men actually prefer medium sized women. That's why models for men's magazines usually have more meat on them than high fashion models that women think are attractive.
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Zeo_de_Gambino
JessieKateRose
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Rhissy
Where could I find some pretty dresses? I'm kind of on the large side. I have a feeling SOMEONE is going to make fat comments, but eh, whatever. Help?


Yup, I guess SOMEONE is smile
Nothing wrong with being fat, but you need to consider other people when you make your dress choice.
For example, fat people shouldn't wear tank tops and cutoff jean-shorts because it's hideous for other people to look at, but on a slender blonde 20-something girl, it would be quite ok to wear.
If you want to dress in Lolita fashion, just make sure you wear something modest and in theme. Don't go for a sexy look when your body type won't match the outfit... Unless you WANT to repulse everyone and make them laugh at you =P. Oh, and be made fun of on 4chan, ofc. Lol.

No, no, no. Fat people can wear whatever they want. They can wear anything that skinny people can. What you said is so wrong for two reasons:
1. You don't get to tell other people what to wear. Period.
2. You are talking on the assumption that everyone finds larger people unattractive and skinny people attractive, and this is far from true. If she needs to cover herself up because SOME people will find her unattractive, then everyone needs to, including yourself.


People CAN and DO tell you how to dress. Men can't go into a club in shorts or singlets or thongs, no one can walk around naked in public, no one can walk around in their underwear in public, schools force you to wear a uniform, work places have a dress code (which often stipulate women in customer facing roles MUST wear makeup).

1. People can dress how they like, so long as they're happy to suffer the consequences of dressing that way. Ugly women who dress like skanks are inconsiderate arseholes who deserve all the "bullying" and "teasing" they get.
2. The vast majority of guys find skinny women sexier than fat women. In fact, the vast majority of men are actually sexually repulsed by fat people.

So err... Deal with it?

The only way I will ever "deal with" any sort of victim-blaming and body-shaming is by fiercely opposing it.
If people don't want to look at something, THEY CAN LOOK AWAY. A lot of people find Lolita unattractive, and THEY CAN LOOK AWAY. No one is inconsiderate for dressing in a way that makes them feel happy. No one deserves to be bullied for the way they dress. We're not talking about a place with uniforms, or a place where you need to look professional for customers. That crap is completely irrelevant, because we were talking about Lolita fashion, right?

I don't care if someone is 500 pounds, they should wear whatever makes them happy and you can just look away.
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Liona Lionheart
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Rhissy
Where could I find some pretty dresses? I'm kind of on the large side. I have a feeling SOMEONE is going to make fat comments, but eh, whatever. Help?


Yup, I guess SOMEONE is smile
Nothing wrong with being fat, but you need to consider other people when you make your dress choice.
For example, fat people shouldn't wear tank tops and cutoff jean-shorts because it's hideous for other people to look at, but on a slender blonde 20-something girl, it would be quite ok to wear.
If you want to dress in Lolita fashion, just make sure you wear something modest and in theme. Don't go for a sexy look when your body type won't match the outfit... Unless you WANT to repulse everyone and make them laugh at you =P. Oh, and be made fun of on 4chan, ofc. Lol.

No, no, no. Fat people can wear whatever they want. They can wear anything that skinny people can. What you said is so wrong for two reasons:
1. You don't get to tell other people what to wear. Period.
2. You are talking on the assumption that everyone finds larger people unattractive and skinny people attractive, and this is far from true. If she needs to cover herself up because SOME people will find her unattractive, then everyone needs to, including yourself.


People CAN and DO tell you how to dress. Men can't go into a club in shorts or singlets or thongs, no one can walk around naked in public, no one can walk around in their underwear in public, schools force you to wear a uniform, work places have a dress code (which often stipulate women in customer facing roles MUST wear makeup).

1. People can dress how they like, so long as they're happy to suffer the consequences of dressing that way. Ugly women who dress like skanks are inconsiderate arseholes who deserve all the "bullying" and "teasing" they get.
2. The vast majority of guys find skinny women sexier than fat women. In fact, the vast majority of men are actually sexually repulsed by fat people.

So err... Deal with it?
First of all, pretty women who dress like skanks are not better than ugly women who dress the same.

Second of all, all of your examples are dress codes set by law or establishments. The bouncer at the club can only deny you access to that club if you don't follow the dress code. Schools don't come to your house and tell you you have to wear your uniform at home. The cops don't care if you go naked in your own home. Etc.

Third of all, you are a shallow closed minded, prejudiced jerk.

And lastly, different men like different types. Most men actually prefer medium sized women. That's why models for men's magazines usually have more meat on them than high fashion models that women think are attractive.


1) I never said pretty women who dress in provocative clothing are better than ugly women who dress the same. I said fat/ugly women who dress provocatively are inconsiderate of the people around them who don't want to see their vulgar bodies.

2) I don't care how fat/ugly women dress in their own home, I only complain when they sexualise their unsexy bodies in the public domain. Your point is moot.

3) and you are an idealist femanist who needs a serious reality check... I am talking about real biological sexual stimulation. You are talking about a fantasy realm based on western christian values.

4) Is this your opinion, or fact? According to Sexual Nature/Sexual Culture, a textbook written by Psychologist Donald Symons, humans have evolved to find younger, leaner, fitter, females to be the most attractive form to men. So please cite your claims or kindly stfu, thanks smile
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JessieKateRose
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Rhissy
Where could I find some pretty dresses? I'm kind of on the large side. I have a feeling SOMEONE is going to make fat comments, but eh, whatever. Help?


Yup, I guess SOMEONE is smile
Nothing wrong with being fat, but you need to consider other people when you make your dress choice.
For example, fat people shouldn't wear tank tops and cutoff jean-shorts because it's hideous for other people to look at, but on a slender blonde 20-something girl, it would be quite ok to wear.
If you want to dress in Lolita fashion, just make sure you wear something modest and in theme. Don't go for a sexy look when your body type won't match the outfit... Unless you WANT to repulse everyone and make them laugh at you =P. Oh, and be made fun of on 4chan, ofc. Lol.

No, no, no. Fat people can wear whatever they want. They can wear anything that skinny people can. What you said is so wrong for two reasons:
1. You don't get to tell other people what to wear. Period.
2. You are talking on the assumption that everyone finds larger people unattractive and skinny people attractive, and this is far from true. If she needs to cover herself up because SOME people will find her unattractive, then everyone needs to, including yourself.


People CAN and DO tell you how to dress. Men can't go into a club in shorts or singlets or thongs, no one can walk around naked in public, no one can walk around in their underwear in public, schools force you to wear a uniform, work places have a dress code (which often stipulate women in customer facing roles MUST wear makeup).

1. People can dress how they like, so long as they're happy to suffer the consequences of dressing that way. Ugly women who dress like skanks are inconsiderate arseholes who deserve all the "bullying" and "teasing" they get.
2. The vast majority of guys find skinny women sexier than fat women. In fact, the vast majority of men are actually sexually repulsed by fat people.

So err... Deal with it?

The only way I will ever "deal with" any sort of victim-blaming and body-shaming is by fiercely opposing it.
If people don't want to look at something, THEY CAN LOOK AWAY. A lot of people find Lolita unattractive, and THEY CAN LOOK AWAY. No one is inconsiderate for dressing in a way that makes them feel happy. No one deserves to be bullied for the way they dress. We're not talking about a place with uniforms, or a place where you need to look professional for customers. That crap is completely irrelevant, because we were talking about Lolita fashion, right?

I don't care if someone is 500 pounds, they should wear whatever makes them happy and you can just look away.


Fat people are victims if they are picked on for being fat. I'm not picking on fat people for being fat, I am picking on people who are disrespectful, rude, and offensive to others. Fat people who dress provocatively in public fall under this category.
Let me put it to you using an analogy:
A man walks down the street naked. There is public outrage at his offensive act, and everyone in society calls for him to be punished (via arrest)
> I say he deserved it.
> you say I am victim blaming

A fat/ugly woman walks down the street dresses like a skank. There is public outrage at her offensive act, and everyone in society calls for her to be punished (via public shaming)
> I say she deserved it.
> you say I am victim blaming


You expect me to "JUST LOOK AWAY" do you? Even if they're 500 pounds? Would it be reasonable for me to ask you to do the same? To "JUST LOOK AWAY" when you see a naked person in public? Even if they're 500 pounds?
Please. Grow up little girl talk2hand .
Almond Milks's avatar

Profitable Businessman

Liona Lionheart
Zeo_de_Gambino
JessieKateRose
Zeo_de_Gambino
Rhissy
Where could I find some pretty dresses? I'm kind of on the large side. I have a feeling SOMEONE is going to make fat comments, but eh, whatever. Help?


Yup, I guess SOMEONE is smile
Nothing wrong with being fat, but you need to consider other people when you make your dress choice.
For example, fat people shouldn't wear tank tops and cutoff jean-shorts because it's hideous for other people to look at, but on a slender blonde 20-something girl, it would be quite ok to wear.
If you want to dress in Lolita fashion, just make sure you wear something modest and in theme. Don't go for a sexy look when your body type won't match the outfit... Unless you WANT to repulse everyone and make them laugh at you =P. Oh, and be made fun of on 4chan, ofc. Lol.

No, no, no. Fat people can wear whatever they want. They can wear anything that skinny people can. What you said is so wrong for two reasons:
1. You don't get to tell other people what to wear. Period.
2. You are talking on the assumption that everyone finds larger people unattractive and skinny people attractive, and this is far from true. If she needs to cover herself up because SOME people will find her unattractive, then everyone needs to, including yourself.


People CAN and DO tell you how to dress. Men can't go into a club in shorts or singlets or thongs, no one can walk around naked in public, no one can walk around in their underwear in public, schools force you to wear a uniform, work places have a dress code (which often stipulate women in customer facing roles MUST wear makeup).

1. People can dress how they like, so long as they're happy to suffer the consequences of dressing that way. Ugly women who dress like skanks are inconsiderate arseholes who deserve all the "bullying" and "teasing" they get.
2. The vast majority of guys find skinny women sexier than fat women. In fact, the vast majority of men are actually sexually repulsed by fat people.

So err... Deal with it?
First of all, pretty women who dress like skanks are not better than ugly women who dress the same.

Second of all, all of your examples are dress codes set by law or establishments. The bouncer at the club can only deny you access to that club if you don't follow the dress code. Schools don't come to your house and tell you you have to wear your uniform at home. The cops don't care if you go naked in your own home. Etc.

Third of all, you are a shallow closed minded, prejudiced jerk.

And lastly, different men like different types. Most men actually prefer medium sized women. That's why models for men's magazines usually have more meat on them than high fashion models that women think are attractive.


If by "meat" you mean breast implants...
hesempty13's avatar

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Almond Milks
Liona Lionheart
Zeo_de_Gambino
JessieKateRose
Zeo_de_Gambino
Rhissy
Where could I find some pretty dresses? I'm kind of on the large side. I have a feeling SOMEONE is going to make fat comments, but eh, whatever. Help?


Yup, I guess SOMEONE is smile
Nothing wrong with being fat, but you need to consider other people when you make your dress choice.
For example, fat people shouldn't wear tank tops and cutoff jean-shorts because it's hideous for other people to look at, but on a slender blonde 20-something girl, it would be quite ok to wear.
If you want to dress in Lolita fashion, just make sure you wear something modest and in theme. Don't go for a sexy look when your body type won't match the outfit... Unless you WANT to repulse everyone and make them laugh at you =P. Oh, and be made fun of on 4chan, ofc. Lol.

No, no, no. Fat people can wear whatever they want. They can wear anything that skinny people can. What you said is so wrong for two reasons:
1. You don't get to tell other people what to wear. Period.
2. You are talking on the assumption that everyone finds larger people unattractive and skinny people attractive, and this is far from true. If she needs to cover herself up because SOME people will find her unattractive, then everyone needs to, including yourself.


People CAN and DO tell you how to dress. Men can't go into a club in shorts or singlets or thongs, no one can walk around naked in public, no one can walk around in their underwear in public, schools force you to wear a uniform, work places have a dress code (which often stipulate women in customer facing roles MUST wear makeup).

1. People can dress how they like, so long as they're happy to suffer the consequences of dressing that way. Ugly women who dress like skanks are inconsiderate arseholes who deserve all the "bullying" and "teasing" they get.
2. The vast majority of guys find skinny women sexier than fat women. In fact, the vast majority of men are actually sexually repulsed by fat people.

So err... Deal with it?
First of all, pretty women who dress like skanks are not better than ugly women who dress the same.

Second of all, all of your examples are dress codes set by law or establishments. The bouncer at the club can only deny you access to that club if you don't follow the dress code. Schools don't come to your house and tell you you have to wear your uniform at home. The cops don't care if you go naked in your own home. Etc.

Third of all, you are a shallow closed minded, prejudiced jerk.

And lastly, different men like different types. Most men actually prefer medium sized women. That's why models for men's magazines usually have more meat on them than high fashion models that women think are attractive.


If by "meat" you mean breast implants...


Woah, sa-LAM! rofl
That was epic, baby! High five! emotion_brofist wink
Raya Kioma's avatar

Kawaii Shapeshifter

Wow. I come to this thread to look for some pointers and I stumble upon a person who has managed to teach their a** to talk! :0 Amazing!

Who gives a flying fsck about what size a person is just let them wear what they want.


Anyways - I'm a bigger girl myself but I really like the style.
I just don't have the time or money right now to get into it. u.u

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