i have two questions, please help??

[crydamoure]

i'm 13 years old and starting out as a lolita, i just joined a community and i wanted to know if being that young is strange or not?? also, recently i got a breast reduction (for medical reasons) and i wanted to know if plastic surgery like that is frowned upon or something;; i'm not planning on telling anyone, but if they were to find out, how do you think they would react??

[mboarder]

crydamoure

i'm 13 years old and starting out as a lolita, i just joined a community and i wanted to know if being that young is strange or not?? also, recently i got a breast reduction (for medical reasons) and i wanted to know if plastic surgery like that is frowned upon or something;; i'm not planning on telling anyone, but if they were to find out, how do you think they would react??

Not to be weird but can you please pm me if you are comfortable about talking about breast reduction surgery? I can also have it for medical reasons at the end of this year if they have stopped growing by then and am really afraid, have never met someone who is younger and had it. Im older than you but it is still mainly adults!

Its not strange that you are young... I was 15 or 14 when I started (not sure haha) but I haven't been excluded from anything except one 18+ outing (as that is the legal drinking age in my country). You should still be able to make friends in your community, they just might be older than you.

[Princess JessieKate]

There will not likely be many girls who are as young as you. Just be polite and respectful and no one should have any reason to be bothered. Some meetups will have age limits, but you should still be able to come to some! Be safe and bring someone with you to your first meetup, but make sure you ask if it's okay to bring someone first! A parent can come with you and then leave after they are confident that you're safe.

As far as your surgery, I don't see any reason at all why anyone would be bothered by something like that. It's your body and it's not their business either way.

[legnanellaf5]

I say yes it is pretty young. Most 13 year olds dont have the money or the ability to go out to meets like adults do. It isnt 'strange' but it is uncommon as most people will wait until they are older. There was one girl that I knew who was 12 and was doing lolita, but she seemed to have gotten out of it by now, she was cute but you were really aware of how young she is when the median age is mid 20s. Im 21 and Im the 'baby' to some.

I cant see a reason where people would know unless you told them and why they would care? No one cares about plastic surgery.

[crydamoure]

mboarder

crydamoure

i'm 13 years old and starting out as a lolita, i just joined a community and i wanted to know if being that young is strange or not?? also, recently i got a breast reduction (for medical reasons) and i wanted to know if plastic surgery like that is frowned upon or something;; i'm not planning on telling anyone, but if they were to find out, how do you think they would react??

Not to be weird but can you please pm me if you are comfortable about talking about breast reduction surgery? I can also have it for medical reasons at the end of this year if they have stopped growing by then and am really afraid, have never met someone who is younger and had it. Im older than you but it is still mainly adults!

Its not strange that you are young... I was 15 or 14 when I started (not sure haha) but I haven't been excluded from anything except one 18+ outing (as that is the legal drinking age in my country). You should still be able to make friends in your community, they just might be older than you.

oh sure! i don't mind!
yeah i'm fine with making older friends and not being able to drink with them, i'm just nervous about meeting new people and such ;o; i know a lot of communities have very nice people but i'm still a little nervous

[crydamoure]

Princess JessieKate

There will not likely be many girls who are as young as you. Just be polite and respectful and no one should have any reason to be bothered. Some meetups will have age limits, but you should still be able to come to some! Be safe and bring someone with you to your first meetup, but make sure you ask if it's okay to bring someone first! A parent can come with you and then leave after they are confident that you're safe.

As far as your surgery, I don't see any reason at all why anyone would be bothered by something like that. It's your body and it's not their business either way.

i'm ok with no one being my age, i'm kind of used to it already tbh, so i'll be fine
i'll probably bring my mom if i ever decide to go to a meetup
and thanks for this advice!!

[crydamoure]

legnanellaf5

I say yes it is pretty young. Most 13 year olds dont have the money or the ability to go out to meets like adults do. It isnt 'strange' but it is uncommon as most people will wait until they are older. There was one girl that I knew who was 12 and was doing lolita, but she seemed to have gotten out of it by now, she was cute but you were really aware of how young she is when the median age is mid 20s. Im 21 and Im the 'baby' to some.

I cant see a reason where people would know unless you told them and why they would care? No one cares about plastic surgery.

i earn a portion of my money with art commissions and the rest for christmas and birthday presents ;o;
wow! that's surprising, it seems like more teenagers would be into it, but i guess not :/
ahh i'm glad i don't have to worry about the surgery, i get a lot of rude comments about it when people find out so i was afraid that they might do the same;;

[legnanellaf5]

crydamoure

legnanellaf5

I say yes it is pretty young. Most 13 year olds dont have the money or the ability to go out to meets like adults do. It isnt 'strange' but it is uncommon as most people will wait until they are older. There was one girl that I knew who was 12 and was doing lolita, but she seemed to have gotten out of it by now, she was cute but you were really aware of how young she is when the median age is mid 20s. Im 21 and Im the 'baby' to some.

I cant see a reason where people would know unless you told them and why they would care? No one cares about plastic surgery.

i earn a portion of my money with art commissions and the rest for christmas and birthday presents ;o;
wow! that's surprising, it seems like more teenagers would be into it, but i guess not :/
ahh i'm glad i don't have to worry about the surgery, i get a lot of rude comments about it when people find out so i was afraid that they might do the same;;

I say a lot of teenagers are into it for sure, but only a minority have the money to do it. I started getting into it at 16, and that was hard because I had to convince my parents to buy it and that I would wear it often and Im fortunate to be in an upper middle class household too.

As long as you explain it, medical reasons is enough, then people shouldnt look down on you for that decision. You are young for that yes, but if a doctor thought it was best then who are we to say otherwise?

[Toxilicks]

13 Is kind of a surprising age for a Lolita to be in a community, but on the other hand, it's not entirely unheard of.

I doubt anyone would be worried about someone having breast reduction surgery, especially if it's medical purposes. I'm not even sure how anyone would even notice that.

[Princess JessieKate]

crydamoure

Princess JessieKate

There will not likely be many girls who are as young as you. Just be polite and respectful and no one should have any reason to be bothered. Some meetups will have age limits, but you should still be able to come to some! Be safe and bring someone with you to your first meetup, but make sure you ask if it's okay to bring someone first! A parent can come with you and then leave after they are confident that you're safe.

As far as your surgery, I don't see any reason at all why anyone would be bothered by something like that. It's your body and it's not their business either way.

i'm ok with no one being my age, i'm kind of used to it already tbh, so i'll be fine
i'll probably bring my mom if i ever decide to go to a meetup
and thanks for this advice!!

You're very welcome!

We do have one Lolita in our group who is 12 or 13, but she only comes with her big sister who has been a Lolita for years. (She's so adorable.) Other than her the youngest member we've had was I think 14 at her first meetup and she was already close with one of the older members, too.

[crydamoure]

Princess JessieKate

crydamoure

Princess JessieKate

There will not likely be many girls who are as young as you. Just be polite and respectful and no one should have any reason to be bothered. Some meetups will have age limits, but you should still be able to come to some! Be safe and bring someone with you to your first meetup, but make sure you ask if it's okay to bring someone first! A parent can come with you and then leave after they are confident that you're safe.

As far as your surgery, I don't see any reason at all why anyone would be bothered by something like that. It's your body and it's not their business either way.

i'm ok with no one being my age, i'm kind of used to it already tbh, so i'll be fine
i'll probably bring my mom if i ever decide to go to a meetup
and thanks for this advice!!

You're very welcome!

We do have one Lolita in our group who is 12 or 13, but she only comes with her big sister who has been a Lolita for years. (She's so adorable.) Other than her the youngest member we've had was I think 14 at her first meetup and she was already close with one of the older members, too.

ahh how cute!! i wonder if i could get my sister into lolita, she might like the classic style surprised
i think i'll keep my mom with me for the first meetup, but i might try to go alone too, i'm pretty excited about everything!

[wonderfinch]

I would take a parent or older sibling or friend to your first meetup. Don't go alone. The older members of the community will be responsible for you, and that's not a very fair situation to put a bunch of women in when they're probably just trying to relax and enjoy their weekend-especially when they've never met you before. Due to the price, lolitas are generally in their 20s and 30s, so as others have said-be prepared to be the youngest there.

For your first meet, I would try something larger or more public (e.g. a convention or a trip to the zoo vs a small dinner). Some groups are friendly to younger lolitas and others aren't, so don't place yourself in a smaller setting with the group before you know.

As for plastic surgery, no one cares. If it was for medical reasons-the procedure isn't uncommon so you may even find one or two ladies who can relate.

[crydamoure]

wonderfinch

I would take a parent or older sibling or friend to your first meetup. Don't go alone. The older members of the community will be responsible for you, and that's not a very fair situation to put a bunch of women in when they're probably just trying to relax and enjoy their weekend-especially when they've never met you before. Due to the price, lolitas are generally in their 20s and 30s, so as others have said-be prepared to be the youngest there.

For your first meet, I would try something larger or more public (e.g. a convention or a trip to the zoo vs a small dinner). Some groups are friendly to younger lolitas and others aren't, so don't place yourself in a smaller setting with the group before you know.

As for plastic surgery, no one cares. If it was for medical reasons-the procedure isn't uncommon so you may even find one or two ladies who can relate.

i don't think i'll ever go to smaller meetups, even after i get to know everyone ahah;; and don't worry, i'll take my mom with me for my first meetup! thanks!

[spuntino]

I've been trying to come up with a way to explain my feelings on this subject, and I've had a bit of a hard time doing so without sounding mean. So I apologise in advance if this is harsh, but here it goes...

To be perfectly frank, I'm very uncomfortable having people in my community that young. The simple reason is that the majority of our community is in their twenties or older, and that is a huge age gap in many regards. Most of us are post-university, many of us are married, some have kids, and the majority of us live on our own/with our partners. With those factors in mind, beyond lolita, there isn't much that I am going to have in common with a thirteen-year-old. Even a precocious thirteen-year-old.

I also don't want to be held responsible for a thirteen-year-old's antics at a meet-up. Parents in the past have treated my community like a group of babysitters, which is hardly responsible on their behalf, and I don't want to even think of the legal ramifications involved. After all, as hard as we try to keep creeps and perverts out our groups, we can't account for people *around* our group when we're on outings, nor should we be responsible for a minor when we're just out to have fun. As for having parents at meet-ups, that tends to just be a mood dampener all around.

The youngest I'm okay with having meets is sixteen, and even that's a stretch.

As far as breast reductions go, that's no one's business but yours and your doctor's. If someone has an issue with it, they should go jump.