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Das Mannlein's avatar

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Sex as in, penetrative sex? Or no sexual contact whatsoever? Are they alright with oral, or manual stimulation? What about simply masturbating near one another?

Usually, the only reasons for abstinence from sex are 1) religious, which tends to only be taken as meaning phallo-vaginal sex (or any homosexual acts, depending on whether or not the reader likes picking and choosing from Leviticus verses) or 2) being young/feeling emotionally unprepared.

I would not be dating someone young enough to be likely to be a virgin, but if by some chance they were, I would not appreciate religion being their reasoning for something like that. If they felt unprepared or nervous about having sex we would talk about it and I would base my evaluation on their answers.
Zytharros's avatar

Friendly Seeker

Respect. Totally. I walked that road myself, so I know its possible.
Acadiia's avatar

Girl-Crazy Noob

It's do-able. I'd rather be in a relationship where they want to wait (and I am)

I just don't want to be taken advantage of. I've had many guys ask me for sex/sexual favors within the first few days of meeting them, even though they knew I was in a relationship. After I rejected them, they've stopped talking to me.

It just makes me feel like that's all guys want.. but, it also makes me realize what kind of man I have. He loves me for me, not just for his sexual satisfaction.
you can respect the decision and complain about it at the same time.
No you can't. You can respect the decision and decide to break up over it if it's a dealbreaker for you. But if you're choosing to stay with someone who you know isn't ready to have sex, then trying to pressure the person into it or make the person feel bad about it is not respectful.

yes you could. complaining =/= pressuring
That is true, but to complain is to voice discontentment over the fact that your partner isn't ready and that isn't fair to that person. No one should be made to feel bad over not being ready to have sex. If you aren't okay with it, then kindly end the relationship and move on to someone who is comfortable moving at your pace. Tolerating something is not the same thing as respecting it.
Nah, I wouldn't.
Mostly because I don't care much for sex right now anyway.
Explosive Nads
... but his d**k just wasn't having it for a while...

For some reason, this was unbearably funny to me. Thanks for the lulz.
Jayden_Sweet's avatar

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When they are ready, that will be the time. I would never complain about something somebody just isn't ready for. neutral

Same 3nodding
Ven Loraine's avatar


X sansmerci
I'd respect their decision, but I probably wouldn't date anyone whose choice to abstain for the moment was based in mush about sex being immoral or wanting to wait until marriage.

Ven Loraine

I would be annoyed after some weeks.

At my age (22) you are either "ready" for sex 24/7 or you have some serious mental problems.

Speak for yourself, but expecting that of others is neither socially kosher nor based in reality. Most people do not want sex every moment of every day.


being "ready" =/= wanting it
Golden Teaspoon's avatar

Aged Regular

When we were boyfriend/girlfriend; my husband waited respectfully until I was ready.

I would have waited for him, if that were the case.
Delightful Trap's avatar

Sparkly Noob

I have a low libido. All the girls in my family are the same way.

At 22 I'm still a virgin and really don't care. My ex was also a virgin and was willing to wait til we were both ready til his mom started pressureing us into having sex. He ended up molesting me in sleep and I broke it off with him.

I'd wait for someone til they were completely ready.
Valtiel the Watcher's avatar

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It depends. It probably would only bother me if they slept with a bunch of people before me and when it came to me they wanted to wait until marriage or some s**t like that. Other than that I can honestly go without it.
Freiflug's avatar

Wheezing Cat

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If you mean full out intercourse... Well, considering:

A) He has a hard case of dysphoria about his chest and other sexual areas

B) He supports and understands my own horrid uncomfortable-in-my-on-skin issues

No. My boyfriend and I both have our own problems with our bodies for different reasons, but the fact is that we understand each other and try to make each other as comfortable as possible. I will never push him, and he will never push me. Sex is not an important thing to either of us. Sure we like to cuddle, kiss, tease each other's necks and such, but generally speaking because of his own problems, if my boyfriend gets horny he squishes it out quickly so that he won't feel disgusted with himself, whereas I'm not very sexual anyways. Sure we've talked about the possibility of sex and ways to help ease each other out of our own cages that we've put ourselves in, but for now everything is alright.
I definitely wouldn't pressure him into doing anything he wasn't ready for, but at a certain point, it would get very frustrating. We wouldn't be compatible if he was waiting for marriage, though.
Centuries Before's avatar

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I might be mildly frustrated, but that's what masturbation is for.

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