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Raven Winter

Phantom Wang Syndrome

Raven Winter

So there was someone I loved with a depth and purity of emotion that has since been inaccessible to me. Even when concentrating on other things, I could still feel it in the back of my mind -- just a pleasant warmth, like sitting in the sun. It kept me literally warmer in the freezing winter. I was very happy then. One day, in order to keep me from being hurt, she left. She had become convinced that if I stayed with her, it would only be bad for me. I believe I cried for several days, but my memory of that time is a little strange.

I haven't heard from her in years. Sometimes I still worry.

-----

Once in high school, a girl responded to me breaking up with her by getting with a... not really friend, but guy I hung out with sometimes... and the two of them told my high school that I killed animals for fun and that I was dangerously insane. I had to talk with the counselor to clear it up. Met with some difficulty, as my fashion sense apparently convinced him that I was a Satanist. So that was all fun.

i can't believe you date
lol lone wolf plus one.

I'm not really the sort of person who's gonna be like "I'm so lonely fml better hit up the clubs and act desperate", because I don't really feel that insecure need to always have someone around, but I do harbor ridiculous kid crushes on people sometimes.

aw puppy looove

[Autopsy by Anonymous]

I'd have to say the worst split up... is living with a partner when you know the relationship is over.
It's damaging enough to know it's over. But to have to see that other person... there's a level of pain you can't cope with.

[Cosmic Jirachi]

How many times have I typed this story out? I'll try to keep it short, also because I doubt many people would care enough to read the whole thing.

ALRIGHT, long story short. A couple years ago, my fiancé and I were both in bad places in our lives (anxiety and depression being the causes) and we weren't getting along well so we split up. I tried to be friends with him but it hurt too badly. I broke off contact entirely. I felt so empty and miserable without him. I lost interest in my hobbies and didn't care to talk to anyone else. My only emotion was "zombie" because I definitely wasn't happy without him and I had eventually spent my sadness and anger, so I was just... there. Also, he started dating someone else during this breakup, which devastated me when I found out because he never really had feelings for anyone else aside from me. Basically it ended up being a dumb choice he made when he wasn't in a good frame of mind, she was controlling and he regretted being with her immediately. When they broke up, he apologized to me and I decided at that point I felt mentally healthy enough to handle being friends... but of course we ended up deciding to try a relationship out again, things are A LOT better now than they ever were before, and now we're engaged.

Yes that's the short version. It was a terrible ******** breakup and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even Satan (if he existed and he's as terrible as Christians make him out to be, at least), but I'm glad we were able to overcome it.

[Jisu sama]

The worst breakup I've ever had was with my ex gf.

Not only was my life hell while dating her but when I broke things off, I literally lost every single one of my few remaining friends. She was absolutely insane, going around spreading lies and terrible things about me and what went on during our relationship.
I eventually made better friends and moved on, but not after a year of loneliness that nearly made me go back to her. THANK GOD I DIDN'T.

[freelance lover]

I've told this story a million times, but in high school I got involved with my best male friends after years of sexual tension you could cut with a knife. We weren't ever a couple (which we discussed and were both cool with) but then after we left for college he sort of alluded to wanting to become one. Then when we were both home for Thanksgiving that year he got back together with his ex without bothering to say a word to me. I was so upset, not necessarily because we weren't a couple and he was with someone else, but because he didn't even bother to tell me. Obviously him dating someone else directly effected me and as a very close friend, I expected to be told of things like this (especially because if I had done the same thing he would had flipped his s**t on me). When I asked why the hell he got back with his ex who he had expressed extreme displeasure with not six months earlier, he just avoided the topic and basically stopped talking to me.

That pretty much started the decline in our friendship and broke any trust I had in him. He contacted me a few months later when he found out she as cheating on him (and had been the whole time lololol) wanting to get back together, but I didn't really want to and (thankfully) started dating my now partner before I went home for the summer. He was a giant douche about it the whole summer because I dared rob him of his booty call, trash talked my boyfriend, and was generally a terrible person. He continued to be a douche through the fall and was constantly trying to get me to basically cheat on my partner. Finally he severed ties with me formally because he wanted to start dating his now wife. I only wish I had done it before he had. I think now I could be friendly with him, but that level of trust and friendship we once had is gone for good. Thankfully, we live about 1000 miles apart so that simplifies things a lot.

Still, it sucked because we had been very close friends for 8 or so years. It's hard to loose someone who has been so important in your life after that long.

[MoviesAndPopcorn]

tw emotional abuse, self-harm

my worst split up was with my first girlfriend. I loved her, but she was emotionally abusive. it took me a long time to admit that to myself. I messaged someone on tumblr, asking them what I can do to make my gf be nicer to me. they said "get out. this is a bad situation". I didn't believe them. so I went to another site and made a post. I was as honest as I could get myself to be, but I still edited out some of the worse things she had done. still, the answers were "get out. she's emotionally abusing you, get out now". it still took me a lot of rolling the thought over in my head for me to admit it to myself. finally I realized I had to get out of this relationship. so I tried to break up with her. but she convinced me it was my mental illness acting up. I gave in and stayed with her. it took another attempt to actually end things. she told me she hurt herself before we were together, and I got scared that she'd do worse if I left, but I realized I had to. so I got out. she kept texting me and tried to get her tumblr followers to send me messages for her. after a while, she gave up. but years later, I was scared that she'd find me somehow. finally, I accidentally ran into her on a forum site. I decided to message her, and prove to myself that she wasn't some monster lurking around the corner to hurt me. but she said she didn't remember me. to this day I don't know if she meant it or not.

[Foxydoe]

Jisu sama

The worst breakup I've ever had was with my ex gf.

Not only was my life hell while dating her but when I broke things off, I literally lost every single one of my few remaining friends. She was absolutely insane, going around spreading lies and terrible things about me and what went on during our relationship.
I eventually made better friends and moved on, but not after a year of loneliness that nearly made me go back to her. THANK GOD I DIDN'T.

Jisu! I missed your purple posts emotion_hug

[Cait Nathair]

My idiot ex sent me videos of him standing outside my fiance and I's house (we weren't engaged then) which violated our restraining order. He did all kinds of crazy crap, but I think that was the most crazy/stupid.

[Petrograd]

The worst in my family was after a person reported my sister's bf to CPS.

The retaliation was that the person wasn't allowed to see my sister's kids for three years.

Then after my sister broke up with the bf (and pressed charges against him for abuse against the kids), she let the person back into her kids' lives.

That's the worst I've seen...

Worst I've had wasn't too bad, people talking s**t about me, that's about it, nothing spectacular.