tw emotional abuse, self-harm
my worst split up was with my first girlfriend. I loved her, but she was emotionally abusive. it took me a long time to admit that to myself. I messaged someone on tumblr, asking them what I can do to make my gf be nicer to me. they said "get out. this is a bad situation". I didn't believe them. so I went to another site and made a post. I was as honest as I could get myself to be, but I still edited out some of the worse things she had done. still, the answers were "get out. she's emotionally abusing you, get out now". it still took me a lot of rolling the thought over in my head for me to admit it to myself. finally I realized I had to get out of this relationship. so I tried to break up with her. but she convinced me it was my mental illness acting up. I gave in and stayed with her. it took another attempt to actually end things. she told me she hurt herself before we were together, and I got scared that she'd do worse if I left, but I realized I had to. so I got out. she kept texting me and tried to get her tumblr followers to send me messages for her. after a while, she gave up. but years later, I was scared that she'd find me somehow. finally, I accidentally ran into her on a forum site. I decided to message her, and prove to myself that she wasn't some monster lurking around the corner to hurt me. but she said she didn't remember me. to this day I don't know if she meant it or not.