What's really the point of Marriage?

[monnixx]

I've never really thought of getting married, it's not something I'm all that bothered about. I could understand how people love the idea of it and being a married couple would make them happy, but I just don't see it myself.

At the end of the day, marriage shouldn't make a relationship stronger because putting a ring on a finger isn't going to change anything. Except tax reductions and possible name changes, haha. But each to their own.

[Tute Sweet]

Any religious, social or symbolic connections aside (as any value you may or may not place on these aspects is subjective), the legal benefits alone are pretty vital to most adult couples.

To name just a few:
-Next of kin status. If the person you care most about in the world is seriously ill, that marriage certificate can be the difference between being able to be with them and being made to wait outside.
-Inheritance. Let's be honest here- who's actually got all of their affairs in order and written a Will? Not many of us, even though we all know we could get hit by a bus and die today. You can find yourself looking at a tangled web of legalities and complications in the event of the death of your partner as it is, being legally married before their death gives you both considerably more protection.
-Increased rights for fathers, should you have any children together. The law in many states and countries doesn't officially recognise a man to be the father of a child unless he is either married to the mother or they have a paternity test. For example, here in the UK, a father can not register the birth of his child without the mother present, unless they are married. There are also more serious consequences, such as a man that was once married to the mother having an increased likelihood of being granted better visitation rights or co-parenting status, should the couple separate.
-Shared healthcare coverage. Pretty sure that's a big one for a lot of you folks in the US- many company-provided healthcare plans also offer coverage for your partner... but sometimes this is only on the condition that you're legally married. I've heard of multiple cases of an absence of a marriage certificate causing couples serious problems when trying to claim off their partner's insurance.
-Immigration rights. This was an important one for my husband and I- due to the nature of our careers, there is always a chance of one of us being offered a job opportunity abroad. Because we're married, we can immigrate together. Without being legally married, it'd be tough s**t- you'd just have to choose between your career and your relationship

There are more, but this post is turning into an essay already!

[Pink Plaid]

I want to have a wedding to be able to celebrate my love with family and friends and get to be a princess for a day.

I want to get married to be legally bounded to the love of my life in case something ever happened and I'd need to be there for them in the hospital or if they passed away be the one to be able to handle everything.

As well there are tax benefits to being married which is a pro.

So its more then just a piece of paper but a legal binding to another person.

And I also grew up in a family where my parents are happily married and deeply in love. Both my parents are in their second marriages so I've seen my mom fight and complain about her ex and hear stories about how horrible it was. So I know it doesn't always work out the first time. But the second time around my parents found each other and have been deeply in love for about 29 years and married for 24 of those years. Its my dream to have a marriage like theirs.

[HomebrewFox]

It's kind of a way of sealing your commitment with your partner. I don't find it to be necessarily myself. I'm not legally married, it doesn't make much of a difference to us if we are legally married or not.

[Blut Lechzen]

Mainly because of tradition, and with a very fast moving world/society sometimes there is minimal tradition to keep hold of - but marriage is one that seems to stay throughout the years.

Personally if I am with my boyfriend for 50 years (nearly 4 in reality so far) when I am 72 saying hey meet my boyfriend would sound.. young in a way. Like not acknowledging all we have been through in the 50 years together. Today I say partner but that's often a term used for non-heterosexual relationships, and can bring judgement in todays society, otherwise it sounds like a business partner (which he is as well, but that's irrelevant).

So for me I know I want to be with him in 50 years, and I don't want him to be my boyfriend, I would like a husband. I suppose it is bound by the terms themselves in a way, and society. Tradition ultimately. I don't need to within 5 years of dating, but at some point definitely.

[The Odious]

'Em tax deductions.

[AngelBiscuits]

For my fiance and I it's just because we love each other and it's a symbol of that love, it's a huge commitment and we're kind of sentimental.

Also, the legal and financial benefits to it. It's NOT "just something on a piece of paper" and I think a lot of people don't realize this. I always thought it was as well until I actually started planning my wedding and I realized there's a whole lot of s**t you get and no one even tells you how important this stuff is.

I mean for example you can live with someone for years and years but if you're not legally married when they die (unexpectedly without a will) their distant second cousin is legally going to be more entitled to their stuff than you are since you're not "family". It's really shitty, but marriage adds a sense of security. You could be living with them for 50 years but if you are not legally married to them and they die their family can take anything that belonged to them and make all the funeral arrangements and stuff without you and there is not a thing you can do about it.

It seems kind of morbid, but these are the things you have to think about when becoming an adult.
Most people think marriage is just "making it official" but it's so much more than that.
Shared assets are easier to divide up, property is easier to have split, if you ended up in the hospital they wouldn't call them.

Marriage is for so much more than the emotional reasons.

[spacekitten]

Aside from the emotional reasons, I got married for:
- tax deductions

- health insurance

- if we purchase property now, it'll be easier to split it if we get divorced

- also makes splitting in general cleaner (if you live together long enough, you WILL have shared assets, and it WILL be a major pain in the a** to deal with your now-ex S/O in fairly splitting everything. If you were married first, lawyers can do most of the mediating.)

- next-of-kin/hospital visitation rights. If you're ever unconscious in a hospital, they WILL NOT call your boyfriend/girlfriend. They will call your parents, even if they're hundreds of miles away. Some places might not even let your boyfriend/girlfriend in the room with you, because they have no idea whether boyfriend means "person I've lived with/had a relationship with for years" or "dude I met at a bar last Saturday"

[rurusho]

Marriage is just somethin' on a piece of paper, but the idea of it sounds nice to me. I dunno if I'll ever get married, but you don't have to show you truly love somebody by marrying them.

I'd like to just live with the person I'm in love with. But those tax reductions tho.

[LilPinkCandy]

Its legally recognized by the law that you are now family. I want to know that if something happens I'm allowed to be by his side and him by mine. Otherwise, simply a girlfriend or boyfriend has no hospital rights whatsoever. But a husband and wife gets to know everything and be right there. Its important to me that I'm not just verbally considered family but that under the law I am and he is. You also get medical benefits which is important when one of you does not have a job. I feel like there would be less stress on what happens when I get sick because it will no longer cost $100 when I need a doctor. Taxes are another thing as well. It would be good for us to be able to file together. I feel like getting married is the logical next step of being together as a couple. We've been together almost 10 years and have lived together for 6.

Marriage is only expensive if you want a huge to-do or it doesn't work out. I feel like we've waited so long that its going to work out in the end. smile

[Bokee Gngr]

Kibbity_Kabbit2

Why can't two people just be together happily & not get married? I know a lot of people are probably going to say that it's a sign of your true commitment to someone. That if a person says they'll never get married or they don't believe in it, are probably not looking for something serious. I don't think that's always true. I'm starting to not consider getting married even though I am engaged. The guy who proposed to me always said how he would never get married & only proposed to me, because he felt that's what I wanted & he loves me. Shouldn't the gesture that he would if it's what I wanted be enough of a commitment? I grew up believing that only proper women are married. That living with a man unmarried is sinful & naive. But I'm starting to change my views & I don't want to have to get married to be happy. I just want to continue being in love & be loved.

Considering the fact you're engaged, perhaps a better question is "why the change in you?" Could it simply be cold feet? What happened to make you reconsider it? My personal belief is that living together outside of marriage is wrong...however personal views aside, I think you need to consider why you are thinking of calling off the wedding/marriage. Is it just because you don't think there is anything wrong with living together anymore or is there something else going on?

[Fragarial]

Most people do it for financial or religious reasons now.

[weed-chan]

I would like to get married because of the reality of my society.
Which is that married partners have legal benefits, especially when children are involved,
and people will take my relationship more seriously if I'm married. After a while "girlfriend"
starts to sound a little juvenile. I like the titles that come with being married.

It's also an expression of commitment. It's like making a promise. And you're so serious
about the promise that you're willing to have your whole family and all of your friends
witness you make it, and it's so awesome that you want to have a follow-up party.

I'm gay though, so who knows when it will happen for me.

[Faerie Dreams]

Like so many others said.

How would you like to be dating someone for 20 years, and they get in an accident and are in the hospital and no one will tell you what's going on or let you see them because you were just their girlfriend/boyfriend and not family.
Or they suddenly die and here comes some long lost relative to take all their stuff because they didn't have a will and family gets everything over a boyfriend/girlfriend, and has more rights to plan the funeral too.

A husband/wife is family, actually the highest on the list of family, a husband/wife gets medical info first, gets to make medical decisions, gets control of everything in the event of a sudden death, etc...

So it's not just for.tax purposes or just a piece of paper, it's so in the event of tragedies you aren't just left out in the cold cause no matter how long you've been together, you're "just a boyfriend/girlfriend" not family

[AnActualLizard]

As much as I wished for the happiness of one...



I like the sentimentality of marriage and have always wanted to get married, as well as legal benefits. It's not just a romantic ceremony then documented on a piece of paper. It's got a lot more implications than that.



someone else must be equally cursed.

I'm such a fool.