What do you do when your SO doesn't spend enough time w/ you

[Liona Lionheart]

KerrieBerrie

I have a bf who is pretty independent and introverted, and I often feel like I'm not getting the attention I want.

A lot of times we may be in the same room, but he'll be on the computer, w/ headphones on, etc. I don't consider that quality time together.

When I try to bring it up and explain how I feel it either gets ignored or he gets upset because I'm "trying to make him feel guilty"

I guess I just need to hear someone else's view on this. Thanks xp

Find another boyfriend, because your values and priorities in a relationship do not match. It's a fundamentally flawed relationship.

[Shadowed Prayer]

KerrieBerrie

Shadowed Prayer

Well, my boyfriend and I don't live together. He works full time and I don't, I have a car and he doesn't. His dad doesn't exactly like me either and boyfriend is getting ready to leave for basic training. I'm just dealing with it everyday. I don't really get to see him much anymore, but it does makes the moment sweeter when we do see each other.

We used to be long distance too, for about a year.

It's different to know he's CAN'T be with you vs. he just doesn't WANT to be.

He's also not exactly long distance yet.. Only a 15 minute drive.

[Mangledhasleftthebuilding]

I never get that feeling. I've gotten that complaint before, and I set the person straight real quick.

[Moonlight Agony]

The person I date is someone I enjoy as a friend so I don't have a problem with being with them.
Unless they are with their friends, at work or asleep I spend my time with them, but that's just me.

[Robotic Sour Romance]

I spend a little too much time with my fiance, but thats because he is off on an injury from work.

[Limonchiki]

Maybe encourage him to plan things that you could do together that would actually involve together time. That would work best on me, as an introvert. I wouldn't like feeling pressured to do things because the other person needs more attention, but I'd be open to planning activities that I would enjoy doing along with the other person. Unfortunately, introverts can seem selfish sometimes. Ideally, you can respect his need to sometimes say "I just need alone time for a while", and in exchange he can make more of an effort to include you in his activities and be open to new things.

[Melonhoney]

Have you ever tried... initiating something? |: Like, do you just sit there and wait for him to say something as if it's his job?

[captain of the space navy]

ah, he could just prefer being alone, not everyone needs to be around another person constantly to be happy. sweatdrop
if that's the type of person you want to date then continue otherwise find someone that makes you happier.
that and if hes introverted he's used to being alone, so its probably out of his comfort zone to start things, there are a lot of factors but you should communicate what you want from him, and see what he wants from you, and then make a decision if you want that.
biggrin