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Give him a reason why he'd be dying to spend more time with you.
KerrieBerrie
DeWitt Heeren
Bornes
Well, and this is just me personally, I get a new SO or I, too, become independent.
I thought this was generally the smart thing to do
and that only pathetic bitches did otherwise.
neutral
Wow, helpful.

A lot of times I'm perfectly happy being on my own. Most of the time I'm very happy. But sometimes (like any couple) we have issues and I am looking for tips on communicating this without accusing him of something, which tends to make him turn inward.


ask him to go out places with you
"__________, do you want to come out to __________ with me?"
etc etc
Shadowed Prayer's avatar

Feral Kitten

Well, my boyfriend and I don't live together. He works full time and I don't, I have a car and he doesn't. His dad doesn't exactly like me either and boyfriend is getting ready to leave for basic training. I'm just dealing with it everyday. I don't really get to see him much anymore, but it does makes the moment sweeter when we do see each other.
KerrieBerrie's avatar

Bashful Fatcat

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Shadowed Prayer
Well, my boyfriend and I don't live together. He works full time and I don't, I have a car and he doesn't. His dad doesn't exactly like me either and boyfriend is getting ready to leave for basic training. I'm just dealing with it everyday. I don't really get to see him much anymore, but it does makes the moment sweeter when we do see each other.
We used to be long distance too, for about a year.

It's different to know he's CAN'T be with you vs. he just doesn't WANT to be.
I didn't spend enough time with my s/o's in past relationships.
That did result in break-ups, though.
I gotta stop doing that or i'll never have a lasting love.
confused
Bastets Blessing's avatar

Eloquent Fatcat

Throw a fit. XD
Explosive Nads's avatar

Greedy Grabber

It's usually me not spending enough time with him...
Dothika's avatar

Dangerous Dabbler

"I'm only available to spend time with you during a limited number of hours in a day. The internet is available all day every day, but the internet doesn't get lonely, pissed off, or slighted when you ditch it for me."

Well, phrase it a bit nicer but that's the gist of it.
Relationships go through phases...people don't absolutely adore their SOs 100 percent of the time all the time - in fact, most people will temporarily fall out of love for limited periods of time. That doesn't mean you should spend the entire time being unhappy, but it does mean you'll need to decide how much that level of introversion is bad for you. If he doesn't work with you to fix the problem and it continues going unaddressed for months, there isn't a ton you can do. It takes two to tango.

Anyway, start with communication. Phrasing and tone are everything. If you're phrasing your requests like "I wish you'd spend time with me instead of being on the computer," then it come across like you're attacking his interests - and people are naturally defensive when you do that. I'm not saying you are, but you should make sure that you're not coming across that way.


-Schedule some actual "together" time in which you conenct or do whatever it is you want to do
-Find something you're both interested in
-See if you could enjoy some of his interests so you're not forcing him to do things he doesn't like (if my SO tried to get me to go randomly walking in the park or camping or shopping...I'd wonder if she even knew me all this time)
-Make time with you more appealing than being on the computer
Viscountessa's avatar

Charitable Giver

oHoN
If you can't communicate this issue then your problem isn't the lack of attention, but the barriers preventing clear communication within the relationship. If he can't be part of the solution because he won't listen to you, then he's not worth it. heart



xoxoxoxo
yum_cupcake S-U-G-A-R...
Jump into your racing car


gaia_gaiagold I concur. gaia_gaiagold

and say SUGAR RUSH!
SUGAR RUSH yum_cupcake
xoxoxoxo
BunnyShapedPancakes's avatar

Witty Genius

I wouldn't be able to handle the lack of snuggles. Nope nope nope. yum_puddi
ectogasm's avatar

Warlord


Become independent too.
Communication is key if its not there then move on
Pff break up with him? If I wanted to be alone all the time I wouldn't be in that relationship. emotion_8c
Dotti600's avatar

Sparkly Fatcat

Get on Gaia emo

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