What do you do when your SO doesn't spend enough time w/ you

[Hobotastique]

Give him a reason why he'd be dying to spend more time with you.

[brutal palm tree massacre]

KerrieBerrie

DeWitt Heeren

Bornes

Well, and this is just me personally, I get a new SO or I, too, become independent.

I thought this was generally the smart thing to do
and that only pathetic bitches did otherwise.
neutral

Wow, helpful.

A lot of times I'm perfectly happy being on my own. Most of the time I'm very happy. But sometimes (like any couple) we have issues and I am looking for tips on communicating this without accusing him of something, which tends to make him turn inward.

ask him to go out places with you
"__________, do you want to come out to __________ with me?"
etc etc

[Shadowed Prayer]

Well, my boyfriend and I don't live together. He works full time and I don't, I have a car and he doesn't. His dad doesn't exactly like me either and boyfriend is getting ready to leave for basic training. I'm just dealing with it everyday. I don't really get to see him much anymore, but it does makes the moment sweeter when we do see each other.

[KerrieBerrie]

Shadowed Prayer

Well, my boyfriend and I don't live together. He works full time and I don't, I have a car and he doesn't. His dad doesn't exactly like me either and boyfriend is getting ready to leave for basic training. I'm just dealing with it everyday. I don't really get to see him much anymore, but it does makes the moment sweeter when we do see each other.

We used to be long distance too, for about a year.

It's different to know he's CAN'T be with you vs. he just doesn't WANT to be.

[whurr]

I didn't spend enough time with my s/o's in past relationships.
That did result in break-ups, though.
I gotta stop doing that or i'll never have a lasting love.
confused

[Bastets Blessing]

Throw a fit. XD

[Explosive Nads]

It's usually me not spending enough time with him...

[Dothika]

"I'm only available to spend time with you during a limited number of hours in a day. The internet is available all day every day, but the internet doesn't get lonely, pissed off, or slighted when you ditch it for me."

Well, phrase it a bit nicer but that's the gist of it.

[Atrum Licentia]

Relationships go through phases...people don't absolutely adore their SOs 100 percent of the time all the time - in fact, most people will temporarily fall out of love for limited periods of time. That doesn't mean you should spend the entire time being unhappy, but it does mean you'll need to decide how much that level of introversion is bad for you. If he doesn't work with you to fix the problem and it continues going unaddressed for months, there isn't a ton you can do. It takes two to tango.

Anyway, start with communication. Phrasing and tone are everything. If you're phrasing your requests like "I wish you'd spend time with me instead of being on the computer," then it come across like you're attacking his interests - and people are naturally defensive when you do that. I'm not saying you are, but you should make sure that you're not coming across that way.


-Schedule some actual "together" time in which you conenct or do whatever it is you want to do
-Find something you're both interested in
-See if you could enjoy some of his interests so you're not forcing him to do things he doesn't like (if my SO tried to get me to go randomly walking in the park or camping or shopping...I'd wonder if she even knew me all this time)
-Make time with you more appealing than being on the computer

[Viscountessa]

oHoN

If you can't communicate this issue then your problem isn't the lack of attention, but the barriers preventing clear communication within the relationship. If he can't be part of the solution because he won't listen to you, then he's not worth it. heart

xoxoxoxo

yum_cupcake S-U-G-A-R...
Jump into your racing car

gaia_gaiagold I concur. gaia_gaiagold

and say SUGAR RUSH!
SUGAR RUSH yum_cupcake

xoxoxoxo

[BunnyShapedPancakes]

I wouldn't be able to handle the lack of snuggles. Nope nope nope. yum_puddi

[ectogasm]

Become independent too.

[SIMPLY LOST]

Communication is key if its not there then move on

[x- MouthSex -x]

Pff break up with him? If I wanted to be alone all the time I wouldn't be in that relationship. emotion_8c

[Dotti600]

Get on Gaia emo