Was this harassment and when does the nice stop?

[kelsey-chan]

Earlier today I was in town and I was chilling out, reading the local newspaper on the roof of a parking deck cause it has a nice breeze and a great view. Then I see this dude who had to be 17 or 18 out of the corner of my eye and is walking towards me. He's extremely paranoid and keeps asking me if I'm a cop (tbh even if I was, why would I say yes to that?). He's bothering me so I say for him to please go somewhere else. He says that I sound like I'm trying to isolate myself from people. Then he takes out this blunt and asks me if I smoke weed and I say no, he keeps asking me why and I say again for him to please go away. The smoke keeps blowing in my face and I ask him again to please go away, go somewhere else and smoke because I want to be alone and he pretty much says I'm a b***h and that he doesn't get why I'm being so mean cause 'he's up here trying to be nice to me'. I was there first, he approached ME, I didn't initiate the conversation. I just got pissed off and ended up leaving even though I didn't want to.

So, in a situation like this; when does being nice end and the mean begin when someone won't leave you alone? Would this be considered harassment?

*Edit* When I asked him to go somewhere else and smoke, I meant somewhere else on the parking deck roof. As in not next to me.

[Vladolf Putler]

If you have to ask if it was harassment the answer is no, it wasn't.



EDIT: No, smoking on a roof that everybody has access to isn't harassment if his smoke is blowing in your face or if he's trying to make conversation with you. If you didn't like his smoke you shouldn't have been downwind from it. I don't even smoke but if someone is trying to smoke outside so the smoke smell doesn't get on anything, you should leave them alone. "Can you go somewhere else with your smoke on this outside deck even though you aren't ruining the interior of the building and making dozens of people smell your smoke out here?" Gee, hmm, I don't know.

[theEmocarebear]

I'd say it's borderline, but it's better to get yourself out of the situation & if he bothers you again, go from there.

[Stale Taste]

Next time, threaten to call the cops. His paranoid a** will be running at that point.

[Nehmna]

Uh, he walks up to you, tries to have you do something you don't like, doesn't respect your privacy and was being offensive to you. YES that's harassment. If I was chilling with a friend and some guy came up and did that I would sock his a**.

[kelsey-chan]

Vladolf Putler

If you have to ask if it was harassment the answer is no, it wasn't.



EDIT: No, smoking on a roof that everybody has access to isn't harassment if his smoke is blowing in your face or if he's trying to make conversation with you. If you didn't like his smoke you shouldn't have been downwind from it. I don't even smoke but if someone is trying to smoke outside so the smoke smell doesn't get on anything, you should leave them alone. "Can you go somewhere else with your smoke on this outside deck even though you aren't ruining the interior of the building and making dozens of people smell your smoke out here?" Gee, hmm, I don't know.

I'm not sure how you pulled that from what I was saying. I wasn't asking if him smoking next to me was harassment. I stated that he started smoking next to me WHILE I was asking him to please leave me alone. The smoke was being blown in my direction and I asked him to go somewhere else on the roof. Why would I ask him to move somewhere else if he wasn't extremely close to me while invading my personal space?

[Nymrah]

You were trying to argue with someone who's on drugs.
He was probably in some zone and whatever you were doing didn't sit with him right.
Either way, if you felt harassed, it's harassment. Pretty sure that's how it works. But I doubt he understood it at that moment.

[kelsey-chan]

Nehmna

Uh, he walks up to you, tries to have you do something you don't like, doesn't respect your privacy and was being offensive to you. YES that's harassment. If I was chilling with a friend and some guy came up and did that I would sock his a**.

I see. Usually it's just when I think of harassment, I think of someone yelling at me and getting up in my face. He was being confrontational but not aggressive and wouldn't leave me alone after asking him nicely probably three times. I'm hearing impaired, too, and he kept muttering and I could only catch pieces of what he was saying and I didn't want to say something that had nothing to do with what he was asking me that could have pissed him off.

[Toxilicks]

Yeah, it's kinda harrassy, and the dude was being annoying. However, you probably got off lightly than what it could have been.
Honestly, I think if he made you uncomfortable, you should have just left, the guy sounded weird.

[MarigoldMari]

Not harassment. Shitty time? Yes. Nice ends when they call you a b***h.

[Raven Winter]

Harassment is usually worse than that, but that's not to say the guy wasn't being a p***k. I guess you could consider mild harassment? Meh. Doesn't really matter, does it? Who cares what it's called as long as you know how you feel about it?

[AngelBiscuits]

There's harassment, and then there's being generally annoying and/or rude.
He was the latter.
Although I'd hate to say it, whether or not you were there first he has the right to be there just as much as you do -as rude as it is to invade someone's space and behave like that.

[Obscurus]

In my mind it doesn't matter if it was harassment. People like that will continue to impose until you either leave or get physical.

[Nikias Kicxette]

I'd say harassment involves aggressively annoying someone, like if you tell someone to go away and they step closer to you and get into your personal space just to bother you. It sounds like this guy wasn't harassing you so much as just being irritating, like another user pointed out.

You shouldn't have to be the one to move elsewhere when you were there first, and normally if you ask someone to leave you alone they probably will, but when you're dealing with someone who's on drugs, it's pointless to even bother asking. If this happens again, you should just leave. Actually, any time some weird guy approaches you while you're alone and starts the conversation with "Are you a cop?" you should probably get away from him asap.

[Posties The Artificer]

kelsey-chan

Vladolf Putler

If you have to ask if it was harassment the answer is no, it wasn't.



EDIT: No, smoking on a roof that everybody has access to isn't harassment if his smoke is blowing in your face or if he's trying to make conversation with you. If you didn't like his smoke you shouldn't have been downwind from it. I don't even smoke but if someone is trying to smoke outside so the smoke smell doesn't get on anything, you should leave them alone. "Can you go somewhere else with your smoke on this outside deck even though you aren't ruining the interior of the building and making dozens of people smell your smoke out here?" Gee, hmm, I don't know.

I'm not sure how you pulled that from what I was saying. I wasn't asking if him smoking next to me was harassment. I stated that he started smoking next to me WHILE I was asking him to please leave me alone. The smoke was being blown in my direction and I asked him to go somewhere else on the roof. Why would I ask him to move somewhere else if he wasn't extremely close to me while invading my personal space?

He's just a ******** idiot, if you want good advice don't listen to him, or anyone who say's "if you have to ask" is a criterion for answering what you said.

9 year old: He touched me down there.
Every teenager who thinks they're clever: IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, THEN NO.