Virgin Discrimination

[Mitubati]

gngrsnaps

Mitubati

Since issues with your sex life can ruin a marriage I can't help but wonder if people that have sex after marriage are more likely to divorce or not, since they didn't experience any sex life issues before their marriage.

There was a few studies done a few years ago...will try n find them in my books that showed people who live together and sleep together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce. The thing is though when the studies are looked at more closely I don't think they show what the people wanted them to. The fact is people who live and sleep together before marriage tend to be less religious and less religious people also tend to not care as much about the stigma of divorce while those who are religious avoid divorce b/c it tends to go against their beliefs.

So it's more about the feelings towards each other than the rate of divorces that should be taken in consideration?
I can also see why people don't get divorced because of others reasons, too, such as children or money issues.

I guess what I was actually trying to say is that I wonder if people who have sex after marriage have a higher risk of "falling out of love" or not. I can see how it might not be an issue if sex isn't such an important part of their lives though, which might be the case if they've decided to even not engage in it until after getting married.

[x_Silver_Starlight_x]

Upperclass Hero

x_Silver_Starlight_x

Upperclass Hero

I was upset before, so of course I brought it up, what was I supposed to do, just ignore it and pretend like I was ok. I was supposed to comfort her and tell her everything was alright even though she shat on my heart? If you can do that, then I commend you...I, on the other hand, could not and did not fake what I was feeling just to comfort her.

I asked her questions, especially "Why" and "Do you like him?" and "How can you ******** someone you don't even like?" I've never attacked her for what she did, I just let her know how upset and disappointed I was.

Her feeling bad about what she did falls about 90% on her and 10% on me...The fact that she kissed another guy early in our relationship and hid it from me for 6 months (She'd talk to this guy on the phone in front of me, might I add) probably adds more to her feeling defensive than I do. She's ******** me over so bad in the past that's she feels like she doesn't deserve me. She used to even say that she wished I would do something bad so that we can be even.

I don't hold either one of these instances over her head, I just let my feelings be known...but I'm the bad guy, lol. I guess I'll bottle up my emotions and just explode on her one day.

This isn't as prevalent as it seems, though. Although she does get defensive from time to time, we don't get upset with each other.

Yes, it is your fault. Honestly, you're blaming the victim right now. You should have ignored it, because she has no committment to you and did not deserve hearing your thoughts on the matter. You say it's 90% her, but really, it's you. If you had just said, "Yeah, it's fine" she probably wouldn't have felt as guilty. Certainly to some extent, but not as bad as she seems to, by your explanation. Doesn't matter if she talked with this guy on the phone--it's her life and you don't get to choose who she talks to. She wasn't in a romantic relationship with you, it was none of your business. She was allowed to have any kind of relationship with anyone she wanted to.

We were in a relationship when she talked to this guy that she kissed on the phone in front of me...and she kissed him while we were in a relationship. Is that cool? It's her life she kiss and talk to whoever she wants to right?

Lol, so I was supposed to lie to her? She came to me telling me about what happened in tears, obviously she wanted my feedback. ******** that, I have done nothing wrong. I'm not going to hold my tongue or sugar coat anything for her...if I did we wouldn't have made it this far in our relationship. If I had held back, I probably would have left her house and never spoke to her or saw her again.

Yes, that's quite improper, and needs to be talked about.
But chances are, she went to you for comfort, not to be guilted further. So yes, yo should have ignored it. Because in the end, she made a mistake for herself, and it literally has nothing to do with you. Nothing. You may not like it, it may suck, but it didn't concern you, so you should have ignored it.

You guys sound like you're in a very unhealthy, and even emotionally abusive relationship. Now, this is only by how you're explaining it, so it may not be the case. But you guys need some serious couples counselling and even some individual counselling, so they can actually determine what's wrong with you and fix it.

[British Tourettes]

I don't think it's wise to get married without knowing if you're compatible or not in every aspect, but to each their own. My friends were always really shocked when I told them I was a virgin, but only the females told me I needed to go out and have sex. The guys were fine with it. I wasn't waiting for marriage, though. Just the right guy.

[x_Silver_Starlight_x]

British Tourettes

I don't think it's wise to get married without knowing if you're compatible or not in every aspect, but to each their own. My friends were always really shocked when I told them I was a virgin, but only the females told me I needed to go out and have sex. The guys were fine with it. I wasn't waiting for marriage, though. Just the right guy.

Well, I really firmly believe you can find out sexual compatibility to a degree without actually having sex.
People aren't always compatible in every aspect though. My parents aren't compatible in how they view certain causes. My friend's parents weren't compatible in how many kids they wanted. It's a matter of where you're not entirely compatible, finding a compromise.

[British Tourettes]

x_Silver_Starlight_x

British Tourettes

I don't think it's wise to get married without knowing if you're compatible or not in every aspect, but to each their own. My friends were always really shocked when I told them I was a virgin, but only the females told me I needed to go out and have sex. The guys were fine with it. I wasn't waiting for marriage, though. Just the right guy.

Well, I really firmly believe you can find out sexual compatibility to a degree without actually having sex.
People aren't always compatible in every aspect though. My parents aren't compatible in how they view certain causes. My friend's parents weren't compatible in how many kids they wanted. It's a matter of where you're not entirely compatible, finding a compromise.

To me, that's still compatible, though. Incompatible, to me, would be when it's a matter in which they cannot reach a compromise in which both partners are happy.

[Zoe Azra]

Burn with me.

[x_Silver_Starlight_x]

British Tourettes

x_Silver_Starlight_x

British Tourettes

I don't think it's wise to get married without knowing if you're compatible or not in every aspect, but to each their own. My friends were always really shocked when I told them I was a virgin, but only the females told me I needed to go out and have sex. The guys were fine with it. I wasn't waiting for marriage, though. Just the right guy.

Well, I really firmly believe you can find out sexual compatibility to a degree without actually having sex.
People aren't always compatible in every aspect though. My parents aren't compatible in how they view certain causes. My friend's parents weren't compatible in how many kids they wanted. It's a matter of where you're not entirely compatible, finding a compromise.

To me, that's still compatible, though. Incompatible, to me, would be when it's a matter in which they cannot reach a compromise in which both partners are happy.

Alright, well, that doesn't necessarily mean having sex, like I said. I agree, though. I do feel people should at least talk about sex before marriage, though it's still their choice. But being open about what you like, and what you're willing to try can help you each know if you at least like similar things, and that you're willing to find compromises when it doesn't always work out.

[Amours]

I've never been made fun of but people have not believed me or just tell me I should just go and lose it already.

[British Tourettes]

x_Silver_Starlight_x

British Tourettes

x_Silver_Starlight_x

British Tourettes

I don't think it's wise to get married without knowing if you're compatible or not in every aspect, but to each their own. My friends were always really shocked when I told them I was a virgin, but only the females told me I needed to go out and have sex. The guys were fine with it. I wasn't waiting for marriage, though. Just the right guy.

Well, I really firmly believe you can find out sexual compatibility to a degree without actually having sex.
People aren't always compatible in every aspect though. My parents aren't compatible in how they view certain causes. My friend's parents weren't compatible in how many kids they wanted. It's a matter of where you're not entirely compatible, finding a compromise.

To me, that's still compatible, though. Incompatible, to me, would be when it's a matter in which they cannot reach a compromise in which both partners are happy.

Alright, well, that doesn't necessarily mean having sex, like I said. I agree, though. I do feel people should at least talk about sex before marriage, though it's still their choice. But being open about what you like, and what you're willing to try can help you each know if you at least like similar things, and that you're willing to find compromises when it doesn't always work out.

There are a lot of things I didn't even know I liked until after having sex. But like I said, to each their own.

[x_Silver_Starlight_x]

British Tourettes

x_Silver_Starlight_x

British Tourettes

x_Silver_Starlight_x

British Tourettes

I don't think it's wise to get married without knowing if you're compatible or not in every aspect, but to each their own. My friends were always really shocked when I told them I was a virgin, but only the females told me I needed to go out and have sex. The guys were fine with it. I wasn't waiting for marriage, though. Just the right guy.

Well, I really firmly believe you can find out sexual compatibility to a degree without actually having sex.
People aren't always compatible in every aspect though. My parents aren't compatible in how they view certain causes. My friend's parents weren't compatible in how many kids they wanted. It's a matter of where you're not entirely compatible, finding a compromise.

To me, that's still compatible, though. Incompatible, to me, would be when it's a matter in which they cannot reach a compromise in which both partners are happy.

Alright, well, that doesn't necessarily mean having sex, like I said. I agree, though. I do feel people should at least talk about sex before marriage, though it's still their choice. But being open about what you like, and what you're willing to try can help you each know if you at least like similar things, and that you're willing to find compromises when it doesn't always work out.

There are a lot of things I didn't even know I liked until after having sex. But like I said, to each their own.

Well of course! Even though I'm a virgin, I know that. Self pleasuring isn't the same as having a partner. But before having sex, you likely had a list (if small) of things you knew that you liked (what turned you on, how to stimulate yourself) that you can talk to your partner about. You also probably had a list of things you wanted to at least try. While this didn't mean you and your partner would have good sex all the time, you could at least talk to each other about what you did like so that you'd at least have some amount of a good sex life.

[British Tourettes]

x_Silver_Starlight_x

British Tourettes

x_Silver_Starlight_x

British Tourettes

x_Silver_Starlight_x

British Tourettes

I don't think it's wise to get married without knowing if you're compatible or not in every aspect, but to each their own. My friends were always really shocked when I told them I was a virgin, but only the females told me I needed to go out and have sex. The guys were fine with it. I wasn't waiting for marriage, though. Just the right guy.

Well, I really firmly believe you can find out sexual compatibility to a degree without actually having sex.
People aren't always compatible in every aspect though. My parents aren't compatible in how they view certain causes. My friend's parents weren't compatible in how many kids they wanted. It's a matter of where you're not entirely compatible, finding a compromise.

To me, that's still compatible, though. Incompatible, to me, would be when it's a matter in which they cannot reach a compromise in which both partners are happy.

Alright, well, that doesn't necessarily mean having sex, like I said. I agree, though. I do feel people should at least talk about sex before marriage, though it's still their choice. But being open about what you like, and what you're willing to try can help you each know if you at least like similar things, and that you're willing to find compromises when it doesn't always work out.

There are a lot of things I didn't even know I liked until after having sex. But like I said, to each their own.

Well of course! Even though I'm a virgin, I know that. Self pleasuring isn't the same as having a partner. But before having sex, you likely had a list (if small) of things you knew that you liked (what turned you on, how to stimulate yourself) that you can talk to your partner about. You also probably had a list of things you wanted to at least try. While this didn't mean you and your partner would have good sex all the time, you could at least talk to each other about what you did like so that you'd at least have some amount of a good sex life.

Some amount of a good sex life isn't always enough. Sexual frustrations can lead to unnecessary stress. Especially if your partner or yourself need a particular something to get off, and although your partner was willing to try it it just turned out it wasn't something they enjoyed at all.

[Thats number wang]

I don't understand why you feel the need to boast about being a virgin, well done you haven't had sex good for you.

[x_Silver_Starlight_x]

Happy little toast

I don't understand why you feel the need to boast about being a virgin, well done you haven't had sex good for you.

I didn't realize I was boasting. Like, seriously, how am I boasting?

[Upperclass Hero]

x_Silver_Starlight_x

Upperclass Hero

x_Silver_Starlight_x

Upperclass Hero

I was upset before, so of course I brought it up, what was I supposed to do, just ignore it and pretend like I was ok. I was supposed to comfort her and tell her everything was alright even though she shat on my heart? If you can do that, then I commend you...I, on the other hand, could not and did not fake what I was feeling just to comfort her.

I asked her questions, especially "Why" and "Do you like him?" and "How can you ******** someone you don't even like?" I've never attacked her for what she did, I just let her know how upset and disappointed I was.

Her feeling bad about what she did falls about 90% on her and 10% on me...The fact that she kissed another guy early in our relationship and hid it from me for 6 months (She'd talk to this guy on the phone in front of me, might I add) probably adds more to her feeling defensive than I do. She's ******** me over so bad in the past that's she feels like she doesn't deserve me. She used to even say that she wished I would do something bad so that we can be even.

I don't hold either one of these instances over her head, I just let my feelings be known...but I'm the bad guy, lol. I guess I'll bottle up my emotions and just explode on her one day.

This isn't as prevalent as it seems, though. Although she does get defensive from time to time, we don't get upset with each other.

Yes, it is your fault. Honestly, you're blaming the victim right now. You should have ignored it, because she has no committment to you and did not deserve hearing your thoughts on the matter. You say it's 90% her, but really, it's you. If you had just said, "Yeah, it's fine" she probably wouldn't have felt as guilty. Certainly to some extent, but not as bad as she seems to, by your explanation. Doesn't matter if she talked with this guy on the phone--it's her life and you don't get to choose who she talks to. She wasn't in a romantic relationship with you, it was none of your business. She was allowed to have any kind of relationship with anyone she wanted to.

We were in a relationship when she talked to this guy that she kissed on the phone in front of me...and she kissed him while we were in a relationship. Is that cool? It's her life she kiss and talk to whoever she wants to right?

Lol, so I was supposed to lie to her? She came to me telling me about what happened in tears, obviously she wanted my feedback. ******** that, I have done nothing wrong. I'm not going to hold my tongue or sugar coat anything for her...if I did we wouldn't have made it this far in our relationship. If I had held back, I probably would have left her house and never spoke to her or saw her again.

Yes, that's quite improper, and needs to be talked about.
But chances are, she went to you for comfort, not to be guilted further. So yes, yo should have ignored it. Because in the end, she made a mistake for herself, and it literally has nothing to do with you. Nothing. You may not like it, it may suck, but it didn't concern you, so you should have ignored it.

You guys sound like you're in a very unhealthy, and even emotionally abusive relationship. Now, this is only by how you're explaining it, so it may not be the case. But you guys need some serious couples counselling and even some individual counselling, so they can actually determine what's wrong with you and fix it.

You're judging me, my girlfriend, and my entire relationship based on the one small ******** aspect of it. "Emotionally abusive?" "Unhealthy?" You don't know anything about me or her but you have the gall to make such accusations. I recognize that you said that that's how I'm explaining it, but that's just a cop out.

I used the fact that she slept with someone before we got together as an anecdote to dissuade people from messing around with someone they don't love because it could come back and bite you in the a** when someone you do love finds you. I don't need my relationship dissected by someone who read 4 or 5 posts of me talking about the only bad things that have happened.

We talk about the issues that we do have and neither one of us holds back how we feel, that is somehow wrong? So be it, it works for us. Looking back, you are right, I didn't have a reason to be upset back then, but I was...and I let her know how I felt. I don't regret it one bit.

[Homicidal Orange]

Bragging about being a virgin.
How embarrassing.


What if you divorced you husband later in life? :/ And don't say it won't ever happen, because in over 50% of cases it most certainly does.