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Remy is back again....

Please don't kill me. D: 0.13802083333333 13.8% [ 159 ]
I'll be nice, I promise. 0.23003472222222 23.0% [ 265 ]
I'm back for now, we're all good right? 0.14583333333333 14.6% [ 168 ]
Wait... What are you doing with that knife? 0.48611111111111 48.6% [ 560 ]
Total Votes:[ 1152 ]
Silvia Crow
MarigoldMari
(Venting. You are free to ignore this if you want to...)

My sister joined a website I'm on and I was brave enough to give her the name of my account on there. On my account on there it says very clearly (no blush) that I am female to male transgender. My sister did not know this previously. I have been shivering for years about coming out to my family about being trans. My sister either didn't read it or she thinks I'm being a catfish or something because she's still treating me the same and in fact we're getting along better than we ever have. Its surreal. I don't think she believes what my profile says and essentially thinks its a fake profile. I don't really have the balls to tell her anything further. I'm still trembling, though, because what if she actually didn't read it and reads it and gets mad at me...

Not sure if I'm asking for advice (this sudden event is just turning me into a vent monster that is driving everybody up the wall). I just wasn't expecting for suddenly out of the blue my sister possibly knowing I am trans when I have hid this secret for 28 years successfully from my entire family. It seriously just happened with no warning, she just decided to join that website and I decided for whatever reason at the time to give her my account name. Maybe I was feeling braver than right now, I don't know. I think the whole thing has just left me unstable and scared and really I should have gone to trans group therapy today because it would have been nice to receive a hug about it because I really really need one to help my stability.

Yes, I basically did this to myself. I did not have to give her my account's name. But I think my rationale at the time was I was so depressed about all the pressures of my life telling me "no, no, no, you can't be yourself because we say so" for such a long time that I'd just had it with being in the closet with my sister (even the thought of having to hide myself on that website and worry about her finding me out all the time) and ******** it and didn't care if she knew or not. Now I am appalled at myself several days later and freaking out.

I don't want to bother anybody on here, or make people thing I am a downer or looking for a pity party or what have you. I'm just crumbling under all of these things happening in my life in regards to my transition. Maybe I am not as strong as others can be. In fact, I'm probably not. So I beg for patience...


Warning: Semi-copout zen-like advice.

What is done is done, and what has been done cannot be undone. If there is a storm to come from your actions, then you must weather it.

You're strong. You got this.
You're right (: thank you~
I have been depressed lately and have convinced myself that I need help.

There are no gender specialized therapists in my area (I'm from an extremely small, conservative town) I have also been told by a few people that the therapist here is a lost cause...

What is the most appropriate way to ask for help, and would talking to a doctor or therapist be the best for me? Should I still put my money into therapy with this person, that people claim isn't helpful?

I feel as though I'm out of options and need help as soon as I can.
Samuel F Hog
I have been depressed lately and have convinced myself that I need help.

There are no gender specialized therapists in my area (I'm from an extremely small, conservative town) I have also been told by a few people that the therapist here is a lost cause...

What is the most appropriate way to ask for help, and would talking to a doctor or therapist be the best for me? Should I still put my money into therapy with this person, that people claim isn't helpful?

I feel as though I'm out of options and need help as soon as I can.

The therapist could still be good to talk your feelings out to. They may also be able to steer you into the direction of a gender specialized therapist in the future (many therapists have a network of therapists they can refer patients to). It sounds like you need somebody right now, so going to that therapist can't hurt. If it turns out they aren't the right person for you, at least you tried and know that for sure. I hope they can at least help you sort out your depression. Good luck.

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