Welcome to Gaia! ::

Remy is back again....

Please don't kill me. D: 0.13060057197331 13.1% [ 137 ]
I'll be nice, I promise. 0.23546234509056 23.5% [ 247 ]
I'm back for now, we're all good right? 0.14489990467112 14.5% [ 152 ]
Wait... What are you doing with that knife? 0.48903717826501 48.9% [ 513 ]
Total Votes:[ 1049 ]
That Is All
I finally have good news. Or, at least, I thought it was good news. Well, it's definitely a step in the right direction. I think...

Well, ahem. As I've stated before, one of the main things holding me back from talking to a therapist is my agoraphobia. It's probably caused by me being uncomfortable in my own body, but I can never go anywhere new, or unknown, or filled with strangers, without somebody I know being there with me. I just can't. If I try, I end up having such an intense panic attack that I either turn back before I even arrive, or break down in tears when I get there. It's pretty pathetic actually. But when I have someone with me, like a friend or family member, I'm usually pretty fine.

Anyways, today, I actually went to the grocery store by myself. Now, you have to understand, I was freaking out. My mom wouldn't come with me (her excuse was, "you're 18, you don't need mummy holding your hand" ), and my dad was at work. I absolutely had to get some things for my dorm, and it couldn't wait, so I had to go by myself. I picked up my keys, got into my car, and... the breakdown started. The shaking, the sweating, the panicking, the crying... Yeah. It's pretty bad. So I finally made it to the store (which is like 5 minutes from my house), took a couple deep breaths, and... walked in. Oh god. It felt like everyone was staring at me (I don't think they actually were). I was holding it together on the outside, but freaking out on the inside. My whole body was trembling. I looked at the floor, didn't look anyone in the eye. I bought my stuff, left, and went out to my car. Still freaking out. But I did it.

You probably think this isn't a big deal, or that I'm over-exaggerating. I'm not. If anything, I'm probably under-describing my panic attack. This is a huuuuge deal for me. This is the first time I've ever gone to the grocery store by myself and actually carried out buying things. I've tried before. I always end up turning back before I go in. I'm... still freaking out over it, actually. But I did it. Hopefully I can bring myself to do the same thing and see a gender therapist. Some day. sweatdrop

Your mother is a ******** t**t for saying that to you. It isn't your fault. Congrats to you though, that is certainly a big deal.

I think transition will help your agoraphobia a great deal, actually. I was never agoraphobic, but before transition I was extremely reclusive. I hardly ever wanted to go anywhere or do anything, I greatly preferred not being seen. Now I practically make excuses to get out of the house, and I work as a street canvasser(if you don't know what that is, I basically stand on busy sidewalks and talk to random strangers about important global and national issues, raising funds for non profits or political causes). Practically the opposite of how I was before, I have to say. Try to use this as your motivation to see the therapist. It's your way out of your agoraphobia. You can be who you want to be and not be scared to do it.
Hana Matataku
Kitsuneko Nyan
Anyone ever worry about how your dentist will find out about your transition?
I told mine- first my sister had an appointment, then I switched with her, and when I finally showed up the nurse put me down as my brother and my dentist said "So, how are your sisters doing?"
I got that kind of smily-nervous and said I was myself, not my brother, and they thought I was joking. I went "yep, getting a sex change" and then they laughed harder, but then I reiterated and they were surprised but polite. It was overall a positive experience, they used masculine pronouns and the assistant guy with him this time just asked me to let him know if I made any medication changes (in other words, if I had started hormones or had surgery.)


Oh wow, nothing like that happened but my dentist didn'y recognise me
well since I never go out in male clothing now, he must have noticed something
but certainlly didn't say anything about it...
Natari's avatar

Shirtless Exhibitionist

10,800 Points
  • Conventioneer 300
  • Tycoon 200
  • Nudist Colony 200
Biblical Unicorn
Re becoming a parent before or after: I have an FtM friend who got pregnant while still confused about his gender and sexuality. So now he's a straight man trapped in a relationship with a homophobic man and has to live as a woman for the sake of his son - the most precious thing in the world. And he can't leave with the baby because in all likelihood he'd lose custody if the father of the baby found out he planned to transition. So BEFORE.


Hmm we won't have a custody problem though. I'm a pansexual woman and I'm supportive and encouraging. But he says he's confused and not even sure. He feels he might be a cisgender feminine male, bigender, as in he feels like he's both genders, or he's female. There's not a lot of time left until the baby's born to let him figure it out so I do bring it up sometimes. He wants a psychiatrist to help him but no plans are ever made. He wants to be sure so he doesn't transition and go back on it like one of our friends did. She decided she thought she was transsexual due to a lack of confidence.

I personally think he's bigender but that's just what I feel after knowing him for 7 years. But.. what I feel doesn't matter. Maybe he needs more time. I know if he does transition when our child is older, she won't be closed minded. I know she would accept him because we won't raise her with a closed mind like a lot of people do. So I think either way we'll do fine.
Natari's avatar

Shirtless Exhibitionist

10,800 Points
  • Conventioneer 300
  • Tycoon 200
  • Nudist Colony 200
Corrupted Coco
That Is All
I finally have good news. Or, at least, I thought it was good news. Well, it's definitely a step in the right direction. I think...

Well, ahem. As I've stated before, one of the main things holding me back from talking to a therapist is my agoraphobia. It's probably caused by me being uncomfortable in my own body, but I can never go anywhere new, or unknown, or filled with strangers, without somebody I know being there with me. I just can't. If I try, I end up having such an intense panic attack that I either turn back before I even arrive, or break down in tears when I get there. It's pretty pathetic actually. But when I have someone with me, like a friend or family member, I'm usually pretty fine.

Anyways, today, I actually went to the grocery store by myself. Now, you have to understand, I was freaking out. My mom wouldn't come with me (her excuse was, "you're 18, you don't need mummy holding your hand" ), and my dad was at work. I absolutely had to get some things for my dorm, and it couldn't wait, so I had to go by myself. I picked up my keys, got into my car, and... the breakdown started. The shaking, the sweating, the panicking, the crying... Yeah. It's pretty bad. So I finally made it to the store (which is like 5 minutes from my house), took a couple deep breaths, and... walked in. Oh god. It felt like everyone was staring at me (I don't think they actually were). I was holding it together on the outside, but freaking out on the inside. My whole body was trembling. I looked at the floor, didn't look anyone in the eye. I bought my stuff, left, and went out to my car. Still freaking out. But I did it.

You probably think this isn't a big deal, or that I'm over-exaggerating. I'm not. If anything, I'm probably under-describing my panic attack. This is a huuuuge deal for me. This is the first time I've ever gone to the grocery store by myself and actually carried out buying things. I've tried before. I always end up turning back before I go in. I'm... still freaking out over it, actually. But I did it. Hopefully I can bring myself to do the same thing and see a gender therapist. Some day. sweatdrop

Your mother is a ******** t**t for saying that to you. It isn't your fault. Congrats to you though, that is certainly a big deal.

I think transition will help your agoraphobia a great deal, actually. I was never agoraphobic, but before transition I was extremely reclusive. I hardly ever wanted to go anywhere or do anything, I greatly preferred not being seen. Now I practically make excuses to get out of the house, and I work as a street canvasser(if you don't know what that is, I basically stand on busy sidewalks and talk to random strangers about important global and national issues, raising funds for non profits or political causes). Practically the opposite of how I was before, I have to say. Try to use this as your motivation to see the therapist. It's your way out of your agoraphobia. You can be who you want to be and not be scared to do it.


Hmm I don't think her mother was all too wrong. With any phobia or anxiety disorder, avoidance is the worst thing you can do and can make things worse. With more outings like this, maybe things will get better and her mother pushing her out of the nest to fly may have helped. She needs more positive experiences like that because to gain confidence you need experience.
Song of the Century's avatar

Dapper Dabbler

That Is All
I finally have good news. Or, at least, I thought it was good news. Well, it's definitely a step in the right direction. I think...

Well, ahem. As I've stated before, one of the main things holding me back from talking to a therapist is my agoraphobia. It's probably caused by me being uncomfortable in my own body, but I can never go anywhere new, or unknown, or filled with strangers, without somebody I know being there with me. I just can't. If I try, I end up having such an intense panic attack that I either turn back before I even arrive, or break down in tears when I get there. It's pretty pathetic actually. But when I have someone with me, like a friend or family member, I'm usually pretty fine.

Anyways, today, I actually went to the grocery store by myself. Now, you have to understand, I was freaking out. My mom wouldn't come with me (her excuse was, "you're 18, you don't need mummy holding your hand" ), and my dad was at work. I absolutely had to get some things for my dorm, and it couldn't wait, so I had to go by myself. I picked up my keys, got into my car, and... the breakdown started. The shaking, the sweating, the panicking, the crying... Yeah. It's pretty bad. So I finally made it to the store (which is like 5 minutes from my house), took a couple deep breaths, and... walked in. Oh god. It felt like everyone was staring at me (I don't think they actually were). I was holding it together on the outside, but freaking out on the inside. My whole body was trembling. I looked at the floor, didn't look anyone in the eye. I bought my stuff, left, and went out to my car. Still freaking out. But I did it.

You probably think this isn't a big deal, or that I'm over-exaggerating. I'm not. If anything, I'm probably under-describing my panic attack. This is a huuuuge deal for me. This is the first time I've ever gone to the grocery store by myself and actually carried out buying things. I've tried before. I always end up turning back before I go in. I'm... still freaking out over it, actually. But I did it. Hopefully I can bring myself to do the same thing and see a gender therapist. Some day. sweatdrop

It's really good that you were able to do it, though. Being hydrophobic, I can understand that sort of thing. Since you were able to go through this, even with a panic attack, maybe try much smaller things? Take a walk through a familiar place, and then walk farther than you normally would, but only a little bit each time you do so. Or something such as that.

Is there anyone you can trust who can go with you to see a therapist?

Natari
Hmm I don't think her mother was all too wrong. With any phobia or anxiety disorder, avoidance is the worst thing you can do and can make things worse. With more outings like this, maybe things will get better and her mother pushing her out of the nest to fly may have helped. She needs more positive experiences like that because to gain confidence you need experience.

Dulling down a phobia though increased exposure is something that works. However, this would be a huge thing. Like for a phobia of spiders, getting increasingly closer to a caged spider each day is a LOT different than throwing a person into a room of loose spiders. A person doesn't need to have panic attacks along the way.

It's also quite dangerous to push someone, too. I can walk along a beach with my feet barely in the water when the waves come along. If someone tossed me into a body of water, even a small pool or bath, I would lash out, panic, and become reclusive, along with lose my trust of that person. I have done so for being forced to place my hands in a sink of water.
Natari's avatar

Shirtless Exhibitionist

10,800 Points
  • Conventioneer 300
  • Tycoon 200
  • Nudist Colony 200
Song of the Century
That Is All
I finally have good news. Or, at least, I thought it was good news. Well, it's definitely a step in the right direction. I think...

Well, ahem. As I've stated before, one of the main things holding me back from talking to a therapist is my agoraphobia. It's probably caused by me being uncomfortable in my own body, but I can never go anywhere new, or unknown, or filled with strangers, without somebody I know being there with me. I just can't. If I try, I end up having such an intense panic attack that I either turn back before I even arrive, or break down in tears when I get there. It's pretty pathetic actually. But when I have someone with me, like a friend or family member, I'm usually pretty fine.

Anyways, today, I actually went to the grocery store by myself. Now, you have to understand, I was freaking out. My mom wouldn't come with me (her excuse was, "you're 18, you don't need mummy holding your hand" ), and my dad was at work. I absolutely had to get some things for my dorm, and it couldn't wait, so I had to go by myself. I picked up my keys, got into my car, and... the breakdown started. The shaking, the sweating, the panicking, the crying... Yeah. It's pretty bad. So I finally made it to the store (which is like 5 minutes from my house), took a couple deep breaths, and... walked in. Oh god. It felt like everyone was staring at me (I don't think they actually were). I was holding it together on the outside, but freaking out on the inside. My whole body was trembling. I looked at the floor, didn't look anyone in the eye. I bought my stuff, left, and went out to my car. Still freaking out. But I did it.

You probably think this isn't a big deal, or that I'm over-exaggerating. I'm not. If anything, I'm probably under-describing my panic attack. This is a huuuuge deal for me. This is the first time I've ever gone to the grocery store by myself and actually carried out buying things. I've tried before. I always end up turning back before I go in. I'm... still freaking out over it, actually. But I did it. Hopefully I can bring myself to do the same thing and see a gender therapist. Some day. sweatdrop

It's really good that you were able to do it, though. Being hydrophobic, I can understand that sort of thing. Since you were able to go through this, even with a panic attack, maybe try much smaller things? Take a walk through a familiar place, and then walk farther than you normally would, but only a little bit each time you do so. Or something such as that.

Is there anyone you can trust who can go with you to see a therapist?

Natari
Hmm I don't think her mother was all too wrong. With any phobia or anxiety disorder, avoidance is the worst thing you can do and can make things worse. With more outings like this, maybe things will get better and her mother pushing her out of the nest to fly may have helped. She needs more positive experiences like that because to gain confidence you need experience.

Dulling down a phobia though increased exposure is something that works. However, this would be a huge thing. Like for a phobia of spiders, getting increasingly closer to a caged spider each day is a LOT different than throwing a person into a room of loose spiders. A person doesn't need to have panic attacks along the way.

It's also quite dangerous to push someone, too. I can walk along a beach with my feet barely in the water when the waves come along. If someone tossed me into a body of water, even a small pool or bath, I would lash out, panic, and become reclusive, along with lose my trust of that person. I have done so for being forced to place my hands in a sink of water.


Yeah I know it's a huge thing. I have an anxiety disorder that used to be much worse. I was avoiding going out in fear that I'd faint in public like I had before. But my husband told me that avoiding things was just making it worse so I listened to him and went out more over time. Now I'm pretty much over it. Of course, I had to do it on my own. I wasn't pushed, just encouraged. Anyway, I know from experience that avoiding WAS making it worse and going out made it better over time. Same thing with how I felt after I was in a car accident. I feared being in cars but I went in them anyway and with more positive experiences and more time away from the bad experience, I was better and I don't think about that when getting in a car anymore. Your life is what you make of it. ^^
Natari
Corrupted Coco
That Is All
I finally have good news. Or, at least, I thought it was good news. Well, it's definitely a step in the right direction. I think...

Well, ahem. As I've stated before, one of the main things holding me back from talking to a therapist is my agoraphobia. It's probably caused by me being uncomfortable in my own body, but I can never go anywhere new, or unknown, or filled with strangers, without somebody I know being there with me. I just can't. If I try, I end up having such an intense panic attack that I either turn back before I even arrive, or break down in tears when I get there. It's pretty pathetic actually. But when I have someone with me, like a friend or family member, I'm usually pretty fine.

Anyways, today, I actually went to the grocery store by myself. Now, you have to understand, I was freaking out. My mom wouldn't come with me (her excuse was, "you're 18, you don't need mummy holding your hand" ), and my dad was at work. I absolutely had to get some things for my dorm, and it couldn't wait, so I had to go by myself. I picked up my keys, got into my car, and... the breakdown started. The shaking, the sweating, the panicking, the crying... Yeah. It's pretty bad. So I finally made it to the store (which is like 5 minutes from my house), took a couple deep breaths, and... walked in. Oh god. It felt like everyone was staring at me (I don't think they actually were). I was holding it together on the outside, but freaking out on the inside. My whole body was trembling. I looked at the floor, didn't look anyone in the eye. I bought my stuff, left, and went out to my car. Still freaking out. But I did it.

You probably think this isn't a big deal, or that I'm over-exaggerating. I'm not. If anything, I'm probably under-describing my panic attack. This is a huuuuge deal for me. This is the first time I've ever gone to the grocery store by myself and actually carried out buying things. I've tried before. I always end up turning back before I go in. I'm... still freaking out over it, actually. But I did it. Hopefully I can bring myself to do the same thing and see a gender therapist. Some day. sweatdrop

Your mother is a ******** t**t for saying that to you. It isn't your fault. Congrats to you though, that is certainly a big deal.

I think transition will help your agoraphobia a great deal, actually. I was never agoraphobic, but before transition I was extremely reclusive. I hardly ever wanted to go anywhere or do anything, I greatly preferred not being seen. Now I practically make excuses to get out of the house, and I work as a street canvasser(if you don't know what that is, I basically stand on busy sidewalks and talk to random strangers about important global and national issues, raising funds for non profits or political causes). Practically the opposite of how I was before, I have to say. Try to use this as your motivation to see the therapist. It's your way out of your agoraphobia. You can be who you want to be and not be scared to do it.


Hmm I don't think her mother was all too wrong. With any phobia or anxiety disorder, avoidance is the worst thing you can do and can make things worse. With more outings like this, maybe things will get better and her mother pushing her out of the nest to fly may have helped. She needs more positive experiences like that because to gain confidence you need experience.

You're an idiot. Her mother INVALIDATED her phobia, she had no intention of doing anything like what you're saying. Simply forcing an agoraphobic to go out on their own is dangerous. Do not give risky advice like that please.
Natari's avatar

Shirtless Exhibitionist

10,800 Points
  • Conventioneer 300
  • Tycoon 200
  • Nudist Colony 200
Corrupted Coco
Natari
Corrupted Coco
That Is All
I finally have good news. Or, at least, I thought it was good news. Well, it's definitely a step in the right direction. I think...

Well, ahem. As I've stated before, one of the main things holding me back from talking to a therapist is my agoraphobia. It's probably caused by me being uncomfortable in my own body, but I can never go anywhere new, or unknown, or filled with strangers, without somebody I know being there with me. I just can't. If I try, I end up having such an intense panic attack that I either turn back before I even arrive, or break down in tears when I get there. It's pretty pathetic actually. But when I have someone with me, like a friend or family member, I'm usually pretty fine.

Anyways, today, I actually went to the grocery store by myself. Now, you have to understand, I was freaking out. My mom wouldn't come with me (her excuse was, "you're 18, you don't need mummy holding your hand" ), and my dad was at work. I absolutely had to get some things for my dorm, and it couldn't wait, so I had to go by myself. I picked up my keys, got into my car, and... the breakdown started. The shaking, the sweating, the panicking, the crying... Yeah. It's pretty bad. So I finally made it to the store (which is like 5 minutes from my house), took a couple deep breaths, and... walked in. Oh god. It felt like everyone was staring at me (I don't think they actually were). I was holding it together on the outside, but freaking out on the inside. My whole body was trembling. I looked at the floor, didn't look anyone in the eye. I bought my stuff, left, and went out to my car. Still freaking out. But I did it.

You probably think this isn't a big deal, or that I'm over-exaggerating. I'm not. If anything, I'm probably under-describing my panic attack. This is a huuuuge deal for me. This is the first time I've ever gone to the grocery store by myself and actually carried out buying things. I've tried before. I always end up turning back before I go in. I'm... still freaking out over it, actually. But I did it. Hopefully I can bring myself to do the same thing and see a gender therapist. Some day. sweatdrop

Your mother is a ******** t**t for saying that to you. It isn't your fault. Congrats to you though, that is certainly a big deal.

I think transition will help your agoraphobia a great deal, actually. I was never agoraphobic, but before transition I was extremely reclusive. I hardly ever wanted to go anywhere or do anything, I greatly preferred not being seen. Now I practically make excuses to get out of the house, and I work as a street canvasser(if you don't know what that is, I basically stand on busy sidewalks and talk to random strangers about important global and national issues, raising funds for non profits or political causes). Practically the opposite of how I was before, I have to say. Try to use this as your motivation to see the therapist. It's your way out of your agoraphobia. You can be who you want to be and not be scared to do it.


Hmm I don't think her mother was all too wrong. With any phobia or anxiety disorder, avoidance is the worst thing you can do and can make things worse. With more outings like this, maybe things will get better and her mother pushing her out of the nest to fly may have helped. She needs more positive experiences like that because to gain confidence you need experience.

You're an idiot. Her mother INVALIDATED her phobia, she had no intention of doing anything like what you're saying. Simply forcing an agoraphobic to go out on their own is dangerous. Do not give risky advice like that please.


You don't know what you're talking about. I've been through that junk. Nobody forced her to go out. She did it on her own. When she said she usually turns back and goes home. I hear the pride in herself when she said "I did it". It is YOU who should not give risky advice that feeds the phobia. It can literally lower someone's confidence. -.-
Natari
Corrupted Coco
Natari
Corrupted Coco
That Is All
I finally have good news. Or, at least, I thought it was good news. Well, it's definitely a step in the right direction. I think...

Well, ahem. As I've stated before, one of the main things holding me back from talking to a therapist is my agoraphobia. It's probably caused by me being uncomfortable in my own body, but I can never go anywhere new, or unknown, or filled with strangers, without somebody I know being there with me. I just can't. If I try, I end up having such an intense panic attack that I either turn back before I even arrive, or break down in tears when I get there. It's pretty pathetic actually. But when I have someone with me, like a friend or family member, I'm usually pretty fine.

Anyways, today, I actually went to the grocery store by myself. Now, you have to understand, I was freaking out. My mom wouldn't come with me (her excuse was, "you're 18, you don't need mummy holding your hand" ), and my dad was at work. I absolutely had to get some things for my dorm, and it couldn't wait, so I had to go by myself. I picked up my keys, got into my car, and... the breakdown started. The shaking, the sweating, the panicking, the crying... Yeah. It's pretty bad. So I finally made it to the store (which is like 5 minutes from my house), took a couple deep breaths, and... walked in. Oh god. It felt like everyone was staring at me (I don't think they actually were). I was holding it together on the outside, but freaking out on the inside. My whole body was trembling. I looked at the floor, didn't look anyone in the eye. I bought my stuff, left, and went out to my car. Still freaking out. But I did it.

You probably think this isn't a big deal, or that I'm over-exaggerating. I'm not. If anything, I'm probably under-describing my panic attack. This is a huuuuge deal for me. This is the first time I've ever gone to the grocery store by myself and actually carried out buying things. I've tried before. I always end up turning back before I go in. I'm... still freaking out over it, actually. But I did it. Hopefully I can bring myself to do the same thing and see a gender therapist. Some day. sweatdrop

Your mother is a ******** t**t for saying that to you. It isn't your fault. Congrats to you though, that is certainly a big deal.

I think transition will help your agoraphobia a great deal, actually. I was never agoraphobic, but before transition I was extremely reclusive. I hardly ever wanted to go anywhere or do anything, I greatly preferred not being seen. Now I practically make excuses to get out of the house, and I work as a street canvasser(if you don't know what that is, I basically stand on busy sidewalks and talk to random strangers about important global and national issues, raising funds for non profits or political causes). Practically the opposite of how I was before, I have to say. Try to use this as your motivation to see the therapist. It's your way out of your agoraphobia. You can be who you want to be and not be scared to do it.


Hmm I don't think her mother was all too wrong. With any phobia or anxiety disorder, avoidance is the worst thing you can do and can make things worse. With more outings like this, maybe things will get better and her mother pushing her out of the nest to fly may have helped. She needs more positive experiences like that because to gain confidence you need experience.

You're an idiot. Her mother INVALIDATED her phobia, she had no intention of doing anything like what you're saying. Simply forcing an agoraphobic to go out on their own is dangerous. Do not give risky advice like that please.


You don't know what you're talking about. I've been through that junk. Nobody forced her to go out. She did it on her own. When she said she usually turns back and goes home. I hear the pride in herself when she said "I did it". It is YOU who should not give risky advice that feeds the phobia. It can literally lower someone's confidence. -.-

She HAD to get things from the store that COULDN'T wait, and her mother COMPLETELY refused to go with her, blowing off her concerns as just her being childish. She was forced. Her mother is completely in the wrong for this.
Natari's avatar

Shirtless Exhibitionist

10,800 Points
  • Conventioneer 300
  • Tycoon 200
  • Nudist Colony 200
Corrupted Coco
Natari
Corrupted Coco
Natari
Corrupted Coco
That Is All
I finally have good news. Or, at least, I thought it was good news. Well, it's definitely a step in the right direction. I think...

Well, ahem. As I've stated before, one of the main things holding me back from talking to a therapist is my agoraphobia. It's probably caused by me being uncomfortable in my own body, but I can never go anywhere new, or unknown, or filled with strangers, without somebody I know being there with me. I just can't. If I try, I end up having such an intense panic attack that I either turn back before I even arrive, or break down in tears when I get there. It's pretty pathetic actually. But when I have someone with me, like a friend or family member, I'm usually pretty fine.

Anyways, today, I actually went to the grocery store by myself. Now, you have to understand, I was freaking out. My mom wouldn't come with me (her excuse was, "you're 18, you don't need mummy holding your hand" ), and my dad was at work. I absolutely had to get some things for my dorm, and it couldn't wait, so I had to go by myself. I picked up my keys, got into my car, and... the breakdown started. The shaking, the sweating, the panicking, the crying... Yeah. It's pretty bad. So I finally made it to the store (which is like 5 minutes from my house), took a couple deep breaths, and... walked in. Oh god. It felt like everyone was staring at me (I don't think they actually were). I was holding it together on the outside, but freaking out on the inside. My whole body was trembling. I looked at the floor, didn't look anyone in the eye. I bought my stuff, left, and went out to my car. Still freaking out. But I did it.

You probably think this isn't a big deal, or that I'm over-exaggerating. I'm not. If anything, I'm probably under-describing my panic attack. This is a huuuuge deal for me. This is the first time I've ever gone to the grocery store by myself and actually carried out buying things. I've tried before. I always end up turning back before I go in. I'm... still freaking out over it, actually. But I did it. Hopefully I can bring myself to do the same thing and see a gender therapist. Some day. sweatdrop

Your mother is a ******** t**t for saying that to you. It isn't your fault. Congrats to you though, that is certainly a big deal.

I think transition will help your agoraphobia a great deal, actually. I was never agoraphobic, but before transition I was extremely reclusive. I hardly ever wanted to go anywhere or do anything, I greatly preferred not being seen. Now I practically make excuses to get out of the house, and I work as a street canvasser(if you don't know what that is, I basically stand on busy sidewalks and talk to random strangers about important global and national issues, raising funds for non profits or political causes). Practically the opposite of how I was before, I have to say. Try to use this as your motivation to see the therapist. It's your way out of your agoraphobia. You can be who you want to be and not be scared to do it.


Hmm I don't think her mother was all too wrong. With any phobia or anxiety disorder, avoidance is the worst thing you can do and can make things worse. With more outings like this, maybe things will get better and her mother pushing her out of the nest to fly may have helped. She needs more positive experiences like that because to gain confidence you need experience.

You're an idiot. Her mother INVALIDATED her phobia, she had no intention of doing anything like what you're saying. Simply forcing an agoraphobic to go out on their own is dangerous. Do not give risky advice like that please.


You don't know what you're talking about. I've been through that junk. Nobody forced her to go out. She did it on her own. When she said she usually turns back and goes home. I hear the pride in herself when she said "I did it". It is YOU who should not give risky advice that feeds the phobia. It can literally lower someone's confidence. -.-

She HAD to get things from the store that COULDN'T wait, and her mother COMPLETELY refused to go with her, blowing off her concerns as just her being childish. She was forced. Her mother is completely in the wrong for this.


You don't understand. She wasn't forced because she went on her own. If her phobia was any worse, she wouldn't go no matter how much she needed to. So in my opinion it's a step in the right direction, even if it seems harsh. Sorry you don't agree.
Natari
Corrupted Coco
Natari
Corrupted Coco
Natari


Hmm I don't think her mother was all too wrong. With any phobia or anxiety disorder, avoidance is the worst thing you can do and can make things worse. With more outings like this, maybe things will get better and her mother pushing her out of the nest to fly may have helped. She needs more positive experiences like that because to gain confidence you need experience.

You're an idiot. Her mother INVALIDATED her phobia, she had no intention of doing anything like what you're saying. Simply forcing an agoraphobic to go out on their own is dangerous. Do not give risky advice like that please.


You don't know what you're talking about. I've been through that junk. Nobody forced her to go out. She did it on her own. When she said she usually turns back and goes home. I hear the pride in herself when she said "I did it". It is YOU who should not give risky advice that feeds the phobia. It can literally lower someone's confidence. -.-

She HAD to get things from the store that COULDN'T wait, and her mother COMPLETELY refused to go with her, blowing off her concerns as just her being childish. She was forced. Her mother is completely in the wrong for this.


You don't understand. She wasn't forced because she went on her own. If her phobia was any worse, she wouldn't go no matter how much she needed to. So in my opinion it's a step in the right direction, even if it seems harsh. Sorry you don't agree.

You're right to assume that I disagree entirely. It's not like you're the only one who's had similar issues.
THE Random Cadet's avatar

8,050 Points
  • Megathread 100
  • Conversationalist 100
  • Gender Swap 100
-lurks- o-o
I'm... not quite agoraphobic, like, it's not a phobia just quite... and it's not so much simply public places. It's mainly when I'm surrounded. Like, if I'm in a hallways with lots of people, I'll get freaked out, but it's only when I'm actually unable to imminently escape if I need to that it REALLy starts to kick. I can't go in elevators with more than like... four people. I guess it's some odd hybrid of agoraphobia and claustrophobia. Or something.... I don't even know... D'x
I hate panic attacks... it somehow triggers my asthma when I have a panic attack, and I completely lock up, and just can't move, and I need to close my eyes, and I can barely hear anything going on around me, only the horrid demons in my head.........
I'm also afraid of unrestrained heights. I can go on the craziest rides at exhibitions, but if I'm not strapped into something, or if I'm only wearing a harness, like in ferris wheels or rockclimbing... I FREAK THE s**t OUT. Aaaaaand incoming panic attack...
It's like... I have partially-rationalized fears, that are still irrational... I don't even know how to explain it properly... O____o;
Song of the Century's avatar

Dapper Dabbler

Phobia issue: Regardless of anyone's opinions, I think we can all agree that HUGE steps are bad, and smaller steps should be taken. If someone overestimates themselves, they can end up hurting themselves too far. Consider impulsive self-injury, paranoia, and "one step forward, two steps back". Progress is great indeed, but risks are bad.
Just got my STP in the mail. djknowsdicks.com appears to still be in business. smile
That Is All's avatar

Fashionable Lunatic

6,900 Points
  • Clambake 200
  • Gender Swap 100
  • Forum Sophomore 300
Oh dear. I didn't mean to cause such a big arguement. I only wanted to mention my experience. >.>

I'm not entirely sure if it really is agoraphobia or not. Like, with some places, I'm perfectly fine. School doesn't bother me at all. But stores, malls, areas like that where I'm unsure what to do make me really really uncomfortable. And usually bring on the panic attacks. sweatdrop I downplay it to my parents, I don't think they know just how difficult it really is for me. So I don't really think my mom was at fault or not, she just didn't really know the whole half of it.

Song of the Century
Is there anyone you can trust who can go with you to see a therapist?

Well, one of my friends that I came out to said she'd come with me to a therapist, even go with me to an LGBTQA meeting at our school. I turned her down not because I don't trust her, but because I feel like I'd just feel really uncomfortable with her there. I don't know why... I'm also a huge wimp.

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get Items
Get Gaia Cash
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games