"The Reason I hate Myself Is..."

[Why Juxtaposed]

ectogasm

Why Juxtaposed

ectogasm

I hate myself because:
I'm depressed but I don't do anything about it because I can never pick myself up for very long.
I settle for self loathing and I stay away from social activities.
I don't do anything about my appearance, I'd like to lose weight but I'm not motivated for long.
I'm depressed cause I'm fat, I'm fat because I'm depressed.
I'm almost 20, still haven't had a job, still upgrading in uni, and I've gotten nowhere in life. I'm so ******** in the head I choose to stay in my comfort zone where I don't face my problems.
I'm ugly, fat and pathetic and too sad.
I hate myself because I never allow myself to feel pride, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
I hate myself because I worry about what other people think, I listen to my parents.
I hate myself because I have a conscious and listen to it.

☠

do you see a therapist

I have seen a doctor but that didn't last long.
Haven't seen a therapist or counselor.

☠

ok like. gaia is a shitty forum. it's incredibly horrible.

but legit the best piece of advice you will ever get from here is to go to therapy. find any way possible for you. there are free places, low cost, ones at school etc. it will help and you'll be able to make progress. you're not alone and you can make it through it. seriously, take half an hour and find any way possible to make a therapy appointment. it takes time and you're not going to get results instantly. but it all starts with trying and that's entirely up to you, it's hard to get that initial motivation and keeping it all isn't easy but i'm sure you'll be able to do it.

[Paris ls Burning]

My entire personality makes me self-conscious.
I want to be one of those outgoing people who makes friends easily and forms close bonds with people, but I'm not.
I'm very quiet, I'm not particularly funny, I'm extremely self-absorbed, and I'm actually kind of a b***h, according to the people I'm close to.
I really want to be a likable person, but I'm just not, and personality isn't something you can change overnight like looks.

[Dustiest Gozongas]

What makes me self-conscious:

My weight as well. I've been underweight literally my entire life, including birth, but in college, I gained a few pounds and my pants no longer fit me by the spring semester of my freshman year (and looking back, that was probably the closest to "normal" my weight has ever been) and I freaked. I kinda thought my weight would be the same forever. So ever since then, I've been extremely conscious if it. I'm 5'3" and I've been maintaining a weight of ~93-94lbs for the past month and 96-98 for about a year prior to that. I feel pretty ashamed of the obsession especially since everyone sees me as the 'sane' one, compared to my sister (who's diagnosed with bulimia) but at the same time, I really, really enjoy being skinny. If I have a bad day and I get on the scale and see I've lost a pound, I feel awesome. Like I'm able to control my diet in a way that nobody else is able to and it's paying off.

So that's a big one. There are many insecurities that I have but I feel like I wrote enough about myself for the day.

edit: just realized everybody hates their weight lol.

[Seruubi]

I don't hate myself but I dislike some traits.
Like how I lack motivation, for instance

[Luna Legend]

I don't hate myself. I used to hate myself, but I moved past it. I have flaws, but I accept them for what they are and work with them, not against them.

One thing I dislike about myself is the fact that I have OCD. I feel incredibly guilty for frustrating or annoying my loved ones with my anxieties and compulsions. I wish I could fix it.

[Marvelous Mr Fish]

I fall into uncontrollable fits of rage where I often say things that I later regret.

[britt1110]

I hate that I have a personality that's "excessive". Like sometimes I feel like I'm too much for people and come off as being annoying. Or sometime I may something that just bugs everyone. I tend to talk too much.

I also hate that I can't get into an arguement without crying.

[Sprite_Darter88]

I was always a super skinny, beautiful, confident chic. But I had two kids, one right after the other and i have TERRIBLE stretch marks now and lots of extra tummy skin :S it has completely made me do a 180 on how i feel about myself, i dress different, in have zero confidence, i cant stand to see myself in the mirror and god forbid if someone wants me to dress sexy :S

[Pastelette]

I hate myself because I'm too afraid of "what ifs" and the future. Im so full of anxiety Im beginning to lose my hair.

I hate myself because even though Im very skinny I feel that my face is fat. I like my face, I think Im pretty and all, but just the jaw sometimes.

I hate myself because it seems no matter how I try to become friends with someone they always leave.

[Pastelette]

Marvelous Mr Fish

I fall into uncontrollable fits of rage where I often say things that I later regret.

My friend has this same problem.
He'll say very awful things to me or about me or things he's planning to do which are not true.
He was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder shortly after I told him to go see a psycologist,
I hope you're doing okay, though.

Also, I remember seeing you a long time ago in the LD! Like a year ago or maybe less?
Nice seeing you again! 3nodding

[X of Castigation]

I really like me. I am okay with me on a fundamental level.

[Fangs_Feathers]

I hate myself for so many reasons I don't have the energy to list.

[GSK Lives]

Alexander J Luthor

My addiction to Gaia is ******** ridiculous. I've been on a much nicer, calmer site for almost a year now and I can't drop this place because I love flipping s**t and watching others do the same. Often over trivial reasons.

Solidarity, brother.

I'm addicted to anger. I'm addicted to fear. I know no other way anymore. I try to quit, but the triggers to bring me back to that state of mind are impossible to avoid. The scarier thing, I know I've not hit the bottom. The spiral won't end until i kill myself. I get temporary relief from video games or singing, but that's it.