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When I was 15 I was told that i wouldn't be able to have children most likely. So I lived my life thinking I could never have children.

Well now i am almost 21 and I have just found out I am having a child of my own. Tears of joy were shed and i was so excited. Then I started to think about it. And how depressed I was about the fact that I couldn't have babies.

My husband has an aunt who has tried in vitro fertalisation four times and failed (sorry for typos). She is also putting ads in the paper wanting to adopt. And I was wondering what are some of the views on surrogacy.

Also. How would I bring up the subject to her that i would be more than happy to carry a child for her. Because i know how it feels to think you can't have a baby.

Also. Has anybody done this? Do you know people who have done this. And do you know what the process of this entails.

I just want to help as much as i can. Because for every woman who has stretch marks and baby fat there is a woman who wishes she could have them.
something creepy about it all
really creepy

brutal palm tree massacre
something creepy about it all
really creepy

What makes you think its creepy? I just want your view. Keep in mind im not trying to start a fight. I just want views and more information if anybody knows something about it
1012222345466778575765q's avatar

Beloved Inquisitor

If the subject ever comes up in a conversation, just tell her you would be willing to do it. I'm sure she would be thrilled.
Robot Giny's avatar

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I don't know anything about it, but I imagine that your Aunt would rather have someone close to her as a surrogate than a complete stranger. You should talk to her about it, even if she says no she'd probably be glad that you asked.
Dolce Rogue's avatar

Diamond Rogue

Well if you want to give her a child of her own, you might as well go to a doctor and see if you can get pregnant more than once. If so, then you should talk about it with her and ask her if she'd like the idea.

I have mixed views on surrogacy. In theory, it sounds like a good option for people who want to have children of their own but can't carry a baby to term on themselves, but on the other hand a lot of women who are inexperienced about surrogacy end up wanting the baby because they carried it for 9 months and feel entitled to keep it. I mean when there's a contract where the law protects you in case the woman who is carrying your child wants to keep it, then I see nothing wrong with it, but when it's under the water with no regulations whatsoever, then I have a problem with it.

              Do you want the baby? Even just a tiny bit? If you do, I wouldn’t even mention the idea of surrogacy. If you’re so excited that you shed tears of joy, imagine what it’s going to be like when you see the first ultrasound, feel the first kick, and experience all the pain and joys of pregnancy. How are you going to feel when you have to give it up nine months later?

              I think surrogacy is very selfless (even though the surrogate mother can get paid out the wazoo), but I know I wouldn’t be able to do it, even for family. I wouldn’t be able to hand over my baby, let alone watch someone else raise them.

              I do feel bad for your aunt though. I would be devastated if I couldn’t have children. However, there are always children in need of loving homes. It might be a long, expensive process but there are always children and babies to adopt. If you have even a vague idea that you might want to keep your baby, I wouldn’t get your aunts hopes up.

Elizabeth of York's avatar

Fashionable Genius

brutal palm tree massacre
something creepy about it all
really creepy

revan onasi's avatar

Shameless Bloodsucker

I think that's nice and selfless, but I think you should wait until you give birth to your first baby before you decide you want to do it for someone else. Also, be sure to think of all the health risks, physical and mental.
It's none of my business of course, but that's the advice I have to give.
Baby Pixamoo
brutal palm tree massacre
something creepy about it all
really creepy

What makes you think its creepy? I just want your view. Keep in mind im not trying to start a fight. I just want views and more information if anybody knows something about it

how do i put it
you'd have to be really, really desperate
like, to the point of mental illness
if you wanted a child that badly
if you can't get pregnant then you can't get pregnant
adopt or something
don't get some other woman to carry and give birth to your child
it depersonalises the entire idea of children imo
I will never understand why people who go through extensive treatments don't go for adoption. The whole "but it's a long process" thing isn't a factor since they're willing to spend huge amounts of money and time of procedures that might lead nowhere.

There are children dying to be loved, dreaming of living in their house. If they really, really want a child, why not adopt? They'd love the child more than anything.

But sure, if you're set on wanting to be surrogate, ask them sometime if they've considered it. If they say yes, mention how you understand the desire for a child. Then mention you could be a surrogate. Idk.
I'm not too positive on surrogacy, so I don't know what I'd really say.
I think she has applied for adoption. And i understand why people should adopt. I lived thining id adopt. But i see the point of wanting your own child too.

I know i have a lot to think about. But I think i want to at least want to offer. I just want views on it. Because i want to thourougly think this through and i dont want to miss any points to think about.

I do think giving up a baby that has been inside of me is going to be hard. But i think the satisfaction of being able to help her in the best way i know possible would be good too.

I think i'm going to speak with her about her adoption process and what is going on with that before i offer.
I Shall Give You NoMercy's avatar

Girl-Crazy Bloodsucker

LilPinkCandy's avatar

Fashionable Shopper

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Oh, oh, how can you be good enough?

I don't think I'd want to have a surrogate. I'd probably adopt if I could or even foster. I can't have kids normally. I think with my syndrome I could get some implanted or something.

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How can you measure up?

Salmenella's avatar

Girl-Crazy Ladykiller

Sorry to break it to you, but just because you got pregnant once doesn't mean it will be easy the 2nd time or even possible. Kids ******** s**t up in there, even more so if your s**t was ******** to begin with.

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