Lubovnik
I'm going to give an honest opinion which you can disagree with but I feel a lot of your problems need to be addressed and fixed. Suicide is never the answer but neither is continuing a situation that brings you nothing but misery.
First off, you're in no ways financially or (emotionally) capable of taking care of a child. I think your intentions are in the right place but poorly executed. You have a relationship with her, which is great, but she needs someone that is far more equipped in life to handle her in a supportive environment. Raising a child is not easy especially if you're inflicted with several favors that are working against you. Do you have a stable job? Do you have an education? Do you even have a stable roof to live under? Do you know when your next meal will come? If the answer is no, do you really want to subject a young and impressionable child to a life of instability?
I think joining the military would be the best option for you and I think staying with your current situation is going to give you a life of difficulties. The military would be a viable option to offer you a place to stay, a paycheck, discipline, education, positive role models, and job skills that will help you in your everyday life. From that you can learn to work your way out of your shitty family situation and find peace in a steady lifestyle.
Just so you know, you have my respect for being perfectly honest, and blunt.
I have until August to get everything together. When I had her in my care, she had everything she needed, and I made sure of it. And yes, I had a roof over our head. And the only reason I don't have a place right now, is due to an illegal eviction, which yes, I am taking to court. And yes, it could cost me my child.
Job wise, I'm signing up for IHSS. I have to take an hour long class. And pay to get my finger prints done. But I have a lady in Parenting Class that would hire me. And my Nana is going to go through her doctor to get it, so she can hire me. So yes, I'll have a job. And if that doesn't fall through, I'm also trying to get SSI. And that's been a plan since I got out of the hospital the first time. With my worker. But I was denied because I wasn't taking my anti-depressants. Lol... So I appealed it.
And trust me, I know. I know that she needs to be somewhere where someone can support her. And if I could, I'd send her to a friends. Until I could get on my feet. After August, if I don't get her... She's put out for adoption. And I will never see her again. Ever. And I may of not given birth to her, but she is mine. Completely. And to lose her, because someone decided that she didn't like me. To loose my child, because someone took her, beat her, and blamed me. I was almost arrested for something I didn't do. And it's going to be on my record, forever, that I'm a child beater. No questions asked. It's just there. Whether I get her, or not. It's there. Does that seem fare to you?
As for the Military option, I'd be going as a last resort. Not really because it's all that great of a thing for me. In the long run, yeah, it can offer a lot. But I've also got a really bad phobia of bald people... And it triggers really bad anxiety.
But if I can't get my s**t together in time for my daughter, I don't really ******** care.