Single Parent Support Thread

[werethnal]

xO_LenaRalene

werethnal

Hey I have been looking for a place that single parent difficulties can be understood, so hopefully I am in the right place. My name is Maddox and I am the single parent of 2 wonderful children. Things have been a bit difficult lately and I guess I just need some friendly ears and maybe advice from people that have been there.

Welcome to the thread & we'll definitely be friendly ears. What was it you needed advice on? Being a single parent is hard but all of us (at some point) have been a single parent so I'm sure we can lend you some advice.

Things have just been rough lately. My boy is getting bullied at school. My little girl is ahead of her class but this state only offers gifted classes for 3rd grade and up. I've been getting a lot of flack for the way I'm raising my daughter, to the point where I am wondering if I am doing something wrong.

[xO_LenaRalene]

werethnal

xO_LenaRalene

werethnal

Hey I have been looking for a place that single parent difficulties can be understood, so hopefully I am in the right place. My name is Maddox and I am the single parent of 2 wonderful children. Things have been a bit difficult lately and I guess I just need some friendly ears and maybe advice from people that have been there.

Welcome to the thread & we'll definitely be friendly ears. What was it you needed advice on? Being a single parent is hard but all of us (at some point) have been a single parent so I'm sure we can lend you some advice.

Things have just been rough lately. My boy is getting bullied at school. My little girl is ahead of her class but this state only offers gifted classes for 3rd grade and up. I've been getting a lot of flack for the way I'm raising my daughter, to the point where I am wondering if I am doing something wrong.

Unfortunately bullying happens a lot. Have you talked to his teacher? Why is he being bullied? My daughter is the same way! What we've done that has seemed to help is we got some workbooks from Target for 1st grade. (She's in pre-k) and when she gets home & done with her homework, we pull them out & let her do some of it. She says their her special books. And it's also helped with her doing her homework. She knows she can't pull out her special book until her homework is done. So she does it as soon as she gets home now.

[Knitsy]

xO_LenaRalene

So, I just took two tests. Both of which came back negative. (: We do want another one.. But right now is NOT the right time. Now I have to see if I can get in with my ob to see about getting my Mirena out & talk about other kinds of bc. I've loved not having my monthly visit for the last 4 years.. But all good things must come to an end, right? Lol.

Haha maybe you can just go on the pill for now or something? So that at least it won't be like BAM, worst period ever!!!

[Knitsy]

werethnal

xO_LenaRalene

werethnal

Hey I have been looking for a place that single parent difficulties can be understood, so hopefully I am in the right place. My name is Maddox and I am the single parent of 2 wonderful children. Things have been a bit difficult lately and I guess I just need some friendly ears and maybe advice from people that have been there.

Welcome to the thread & we'll definitely be friendly ears. What was it you needed advice on? Being a single parent is hard but all of us (at some point) have been a single parent so I'm sure we can lend you some advice.

Things have just been rough lately. My boy is getting bullied at school. My little girl is ahead of her class but this state only offers gifted classes for 3rd grade and up. I've been getting a lot of flack for the way I'm raising my daughter, to the point where I am wondering if I am doing something wrong.

Why are you getting flack for the way you raise her?? If she's ahead of her class you're obviously doing something right!
Sadly there will always be SOME parent out their who judges you for the way you parent. We've all dealt with it, and it will never end. You just have to brush it off and know that you have happy kids, and everything will be fine!

Welcome to the thread, by the way!

[werethnal]

xO_LenaRalene

werethnal

xO_LenaRalene

werethnal

Hey I have been looking for a place that single parent difficulties can be understood, so hopefully I am in the right place. My name is Maddox and I am the single parent of 2 wonderful children. Things have been a bit difficult lately and I guess I just need some friendly ears and maybe advice from people that have been there.

Welcome to the thread & we'll definitely be friendly ears. What was it you needed advice on? Being a single parent is hard but all of us (at some point) have been a single parent so I'm sure we can lend you some advice.

Things have just been rough lately. My boy is getting bullied at school. My little girl is ahead of her class but this state only offers gifted classes for 3rd grade and up. I've been getting a lot of flack for the way I'm raising my daughter, to the point where I am wondering if I am doing something wrong.

Unfortunately bullying happens a lot. Have you talked to his teacher? Why is he being bullied? My daughter is the same way! What we've done that has seemed to help is we got some workbooks from Target for 1st grade. (She's in pre-k) and when she gets home & done with her homework, we pull them out & let her do some of it. She says their her special books. And it's also helped with her doing her homework. She knows she can't pull out her special book until her homework is done. So she does it as soon as she gets home now.

He is big for his age, he is the youngest in his class but he is the tallest. This is the third year this has happened and all I get from the principal and teachers is "it's a new year and a new slate but if it continues to happen we will call in their parents". He is a sensitive kid and I am afraid this is going to really affect him. There are no schools for me to transfer him to within a 60 minute drive and so it really isn't reasonable to transfer him either. It feels like a no win situation. I get my little girl workbooks and I am teaching her ASL as a side project but it drives me crazy that she is at school watching movies or sweeping when she really just needs a more challenging curriculum. Both of my kids are about the same level which makes my boy jealous because I do things with him and include him in the things I do with her but he wants to be ahead of her and he just isn't.

[werethnal]

PetitChat

werethnal

xO_LenaRalene

werethnal

Hey I have been looking for a place that single parent difficulties can be understood, so hopefully I am in the right place. My name is Maddox and I am the single parent of 2 wonderful children. Things have been a bit difficult lately and I guess I just need some friendly ears and maybe advice from people that have been there.

Welcome to the thread & we'll definitely be friendly ears. What was it you needed advice on? Being a single parent is hard but all of us (at some point) have been a single parent so I'm sure we can lend you some advice.

Things have just been rough lately. My boy is getting bullied at school. My little girl is ahead of her class but this state only offers gifted classes for 3rd grade and up. I've been getting a lot of flack for the way I'm raising my daughter, to the point where I am wondering if I am doing something wrong.

Why are you getting flack for the way you raise her?? If she's ahead of her class you're obviously doing something right!
Sadly there will always be SOME parent out their who judges you for the way you parent. We've all dealt with it, and it will never end. You just have to brush it off and know that you have happy kids, and everything will be fine!

Welcome to the thread, by the way!

People have issues with the toys I get her because they "enforce gender roles" or they are electronic(I get her Leapfrog and VTech games to supplement education). I don't know how to do her hair well enough(she's 5 and has long hair it comes down some days at school). It seems like a lot of people just don't like a man raising a girl.

[Knitsy]

werethnal

PetitChat

werethnal

xO_LenaRalene

Welcome to the thread & we'll definitely be friendly ears. What was it you needed advice on? Being a single parent is hard but all of us (at some point) have been a single parent so I'm sure we can lend you some advice.

Things have just been rough lately. My boy is getting bullied at school. My little girl is ahead of her class but this state only offers gifted classes for 3rd grade and up. I've been getting a lot of flack for the way I'm raising my daughter, to the point where I am wondering if I am doing something wrong.

Why are you getting flack for the way you raise her?? If she's ahead of her class you're obviously doing something right!
Sadly there will always be SOME parent out their who judges you for the way you parent. We've all dealt with it, and it will never end. You just have to brush it off and know that you have happy kids, and everything will be fine!

Welcome to the thread, by the way!

People have issues with the toys I get her because they "enforce gender roles" or they are electronic(I get her Leapfrog and VTech games to supplement education). I don't know how to do her hair well enough(she's 5 and has long hair it comes down some days at school). It seems like a lot of people just don't like a man raising a girl.

Oh that's all bullshit. It's not like you're sending her to school in her pajamas or with no lunch...or, god forbid, not sending her to school at all! Ignore that stuff...none of that makes you a bad parent, not even close.

[Violets In The Rain]

I'm completely against gender roles. Unfortunatly they are a fact in society, even western society sadly forces such roles to 'make society work' but I try to eliminate them as much as possible in my house.
I could go on with a long sociological rant here, but its best I don't. Unless a parent is telling their daughter they'll never amount to anything because they are a girl, I don't feel that concerned.

[werethnal]

Ciara Bunny

I'm completely against gender roles. Unfortunatly they are a fact in society, even western society sadly forces such roles to 'make society work' but I try to eliminate them as much as possible in my house.
I could go on with a long sociological rant here, but its best I don't. Unless a parent is telling their daughter they'll never amount to anything because they are a girl, I don't feel that concerned.

I've chewed out in public because I am buying my daughter dolls or something pink. She likes pink and dolls though. It's never been "you can only have this or that because you're a girl/boy" it is about what they like but people just assume, because my daughter likes stereotypical girl toys, that I put her in a gender role. Honestly my boy is older so it would have been much easier for me is she wanted "boy" toys/clothing because I had plenty of that already lol.

[Knitsy]

werethnal

Ciara Bunny

I'm completely against gender roles. Unfortunatly they are a fact in society, even western society sadly forces such roles to 'make society work' but I try to eliminate them as much as possible in my house.
I could go on with a long sociological rant here, but its best I don't. Unless a parent is telling their daughter they'll never amount to anything because they are a girl, I don't feel that concerned.

I've chewed out in public because I am buying my daughter dolls or something pink. She likes pink and dolls though. It's never been "you can only have this or that because you're a girl/boy" it is about what they like but people just assume, because my daughter likes stereotypical girl toys, that I put her in a gender role. Honestly my boy is older so it would have been much easier for me is she wanted "boy" toys/clothing because I had plenty of that already lol.

I'm like you. My son really likes superheroes, which I guess is a typical boy thing. But he just likes them. It was never something that was forced upon him...he just likes those things. He's very much a boy in many ways. Of course it doesn't hurt that Tyler and I are both into superheroes too (we're big geeks)...but we never push him to like the things we like.

That stupid that people dislike you for that - usually it's the other way around, parents are judged for having tomboyish little girls, and stuff like that. razz

[Knitsy]

Ugh wisdom teeth pulled this morning...and still have to go to work later. sad

[Violets In The Rain]

werethnal

Maybe its just where I am, but I see parents force stereotypical gender toys on their children to re-enforce the gender role. The whole 'You can't have that its pink, it'll turn you gay' or 'only girls play with dolls' idea with boys, and the 'blue is for boys' or 'football isn't for girls' type of bullshit annoys the hell out of me.

Personally, my girls arn't allowed dolls. Barbie, Bratz, Sindy, none of it. With how the media forces stereotypical 'beauty' on everyone from birth, I don't think those dolls who are stereotypical beautiful help young girls not to be insecure. To me, playing with dolls is where it starts and its re-enforced more and more as they get older. Thats just my opinion and I won't get on anyones back for that.
I use to work as a model, and the insecurity and social pressure to look beautiful is something all to really to me. But I don't fit the stereotype of beauty because i'm short and not a size 0, therefore my jobs relate to makeup and hair modelling, or clothes for short women. I think this will help my girls understand to be proud of what you look like and not to let it hold you back, because stereotypical beauty isn't real. Its photoshopped air brushed plastic sugery fakeness.

But I do get where you are coming from. I have three girls and a boy. My youngest is only one so she isn't into an activity, but my other two girls do horseriding and gymnastics/ballet/contemporary dance, and my boy does football. They picked these themselves, with no pressure from anyone. And when my Amerie does her gymnastics/ballet/contemporary dance pratice in our living room, the rest usually join in, vise versa with Rio and football.

[werethnal]

Ciara Bunny

werethnal

Maybe its just where I am, but I see parents force stereotypical gender toys on their children to re-enforce the gender role. The whole 'You can't have that its pink, it'll turn you gay' or 'only girls play with dolls' idea with boys, and the 'blue is for boys' or 'football isn't for girls' type of bullshit annoys the hell out of me.

Personally, my girls arn't allowed dolls. Barbie, Bratz, Sindy, none of it. With how the media forces stereotypical 'beauty' on everyone from birth, I don't think those dolls who are stereotypical beautiful help young girls not to be insecure. To me, playing with dolls is where it starts and its re-enforced more and more as they get older. Thats just my opinion and I won't get on anyones back for that.
I use to work as a model, and the insecurity and social pressure to look beautiful is something all to really to me. But I don't fit the stereotype of beauty because i'm short and not a size 0, therefore my jobs relate to makeup and hair modelling, or clothes for short women. I think this will help my girls understand to be proud of what you look like and not to let it hold you back, because stereotypical beauty isn't real. Its photoshopped air brushed plastic sugery fakeness.

But I do get where you are coming from. I have three girls and a boy. My youngest is only one so she isn't into an activity, but my other two girls do horseriding and gymnastics/ballet/contemporary dance, and my boy does football. They picked these themselves, with no pressure from anyone. And when my Amerie does her gymnastics/ballet/contemporary dance pratice in our living room, the rest usually join in, vise versa with Rio and football.

I'm not a fan of Bratz or Barbie. My little girl likes the Lalaloopsy line, I really like them because they have stories behind each one. She likes them mostly because they all come with a different pet and some have little sisters/brothers. I've always thought my girl would make a good football player, she is very rough and tumble, but since she started school she has been leaning more towards cheer leading. My boy wants to join the ballet program at the school but he is a grade to low. I am glad he didn't want to try for the football team because he is very sensitive and I think the aggressive aspect of the game would have hurt his feelings.

[Insatiable Succubus]

My parents both were teenage parents.
My mother at 15/16 with my sister and then 17/18 with me
My dad at 19 with my two older brothers with another woman.
My dad is 8 years older than my mom. They're not together. My mom is in prison.
I'm seventeen, I'm afraid I'm going to run in their foot steps. Any help?

[xO_LenaRalene]

@werethnal; My daughter is a tomboy! She dresses like a boy, plays with boy toys. Hates Barbie. I get a lot of s**t, too. So I understand where you're coming from. I don't believe in gender roles. So I have never forced my daughter to do/play with/wear anything that she didn't want to. If you were to walks into my house, you'd think I had a little boy. Do I care? No. People are going to talk s**t regardless of what you do. They're always going to find something you do that they don't think is "correct" or "the best way" to parent. But you have to do it how you want. As long as your kids are happy, healthy, fed. Etc.. Then you're doing nothing wrong.