Should parents hit their children for their misbehavior?

[darlene devonshire]

we had that 'train up a child' guy talk at my church -- um, michael pearl? i dont think he would agree with the cutting heads off thing [& i definitely dont] but he & his wife are all about being very strict parents.

i think this is a good thing b/c too many kids today have liek zero dicipline & are completely out of controls in public. parents need to set boundaries for their chidren.

[XVNekioVX]

There is a fine line between discipline and abuse.

For instance, I slapped my son's hand when he tried to touch the stove once. He hasn't done it again. That's discipline.

For instance again, my father threw me in the opposite direction of the phone because I was trying to call the cops when he was beating my mom. That's abuse.

I support spanking, but I only use it for serious matters. Time outs and taking his toys away has worked well for minor things.

[disney butts]

Nope.

It's been proven again and again to be an ineffective discipline technique and can lead to aggressive and disobedient behavior (of course everyone will say 'I was hit and I turned out fine!'). I think it should be illegal to put your hands on your kid, no matter what. I can't hit my fiance and I can't hit my coworkers when they aren't listening or making me mad, so why can I hit my kid.

[boob jiggle]

It's lazy parenting. "I don't know how to actually deal with my child so I'm just gonna smack them around".

My parents managed to instill a ridiculous amount of fear in me without ever hitting me, a fear that still haunts me and kept me completely in line for all of my younger years living at home.

[King Shining Heaven]

I don't see anything wrong with spanking, as long as you're using it constructively; don't just spank them, make them understand "hey, you did this, and this is bad because X, so now I'm spanking you so ou won't do it again"

[Gilraen Meneldur]

I know in some countries even a spanking is considered abuse and you could go to jail for it. Though I personally don't think spanking a kid if they do something wrong is a bad thing. I'm thankful honestly that my parents did it. I might have gotten threatened with a belt now and then but my parents never went anywhere near that level.
Yeah it stings and might leave you a little red but there's a difference between spanking a kid and all out beating them leaving your kid black and blue.

[dormant lime]

I think it's situational, and all about how it's handled and carried out.
I was spanked as a kid only for severe misbehaving, it's only happened maybe 3-4 times in my life. Each time I was explained why it was happening, told how much I'd receive, and if I was incredibly distressed and/or it could be handled another way, it didn't happen at all. Objects were never used.
I'd also like to mention that I have also been abused, and neither incidents felt remotely the same or had the same effect on me.

If that's your only way of dealing with your kids behavior, that's an issue. If it's done too harshly, and it's not made clear why it's happening, that's an issue. If it's an action that seems to cause more harm to the child than good for behavioral correction, that's an issue.

When handled responsibly, like with myself and many others I've known, it can effective and non abusive. It's something you ideally want to avoid, but sometimes it's useful.

[xJor-Jorx]

Spanking with ur hand or a belt is one thing.
Beating them with a closed fist is another.

"Hitting" your child sounds like abuse.
But spanking them for misbehaving is okay. (ive been spanked multiple times)

[Mae Lovelyn]

Lol don't buy into a troll's words. talk2hand

When I was a kid, I'd only get a spanking if I really messed up. Like if my parents explained to me why my behavior was unacceptable and I still didn't listen, that would warrant a spanking.

I guess it also applied to my teenage years since my dad wouldn't really beat my a**. He would still explain why whatever I did was wrong and leave the warning of being hit if I did it again. Although to be fair, looking back on it all, I deserved the punishment I got since I didn't realize how good I had it and how hard my parents worked to support me and my siblings. I was an ungrateful little s**t. I partially still am too. xd

[Chieftain Twilight]

killing somebody for being gay isn't discipline -- it's ******** murder. and also a hate crime.

nobody can choose whether to be gay or not. and something that is your nature should not be punished, or hated, and is not a reason to be killed.

I do think that corporal punishment can be effective and reasonable. I was spanked, and I turned out respectful.

the key is to know what deserves punishment and what doesn't. and what deserves physical punishment and what doesn't. it should never be about fear. that's tyranny. it should just be the simple message that "hey, that's not ok."

youngsters get a pop on the butt. never a slap to the cheek, or a caning. that's ******** abusive!

as they get older, they should lose privaleges. cable gets cut off. their video games get confiscated. the car keys taken away. they can't go to that pizza social after school. so on and so forthe.

adults can be responsible for their own damn selves. like ********, you're 20 now. I don't need to tell you right from wrong. if you can't follow the rules of the house, you ain't sleeping under this roof anymore. simple. you can do what you want, but do it in your own place.

[Toxilicks]

It depends where you hit the kid, the reason, and the method. A smack on the a** for breaking a vase by accident? Not really something to warrant corporal punishment.
A smack on the a** because they did it on purpose? Yeah, alright.

Currently there's a big debate on bringing corporal punishment back into schools in Australia. A lot of teachers think it's the right way to do things because kids are never going to learn to not misbehave. Personally, I think corporal punishment in schools doesn't really teach children anything, in your future years when you're working upto or in a career, you could have an a*****e for a boss, but if s/he so much as touches you, it's enough to warrant a lawsuit. If you ******** up at a job when you're a teenager, the manager/boss will scream and probably fire you, but they're not going to hit you. If kids are going to ******** up at school, we might as well tell them they have the choice to wise up so they might have a better chance in getting into things like college, or tell them where they could end up if they don't get their s**t together. Back in High School, once you got to the senior years here, the rule was basically "Shut up, or get out of my classroom." It was great because there were a lot of people who got kicked out of the room, and some actually started to pay attention after a while, and some just didn't come back, so the teacher's job was somewhat more efficient. It was a big help back in Textiles class where there was literally no time to stop to piss around with anyone, we had a deadline for our Major Project and this one girl would piss around and try to chat with everyone and by the end of it we pretty much just told her to get lost because we were all about ready to jump off a bridge with the amount of stress that was involved between sewing and juggling the written component.

[Chieftain Twilight]

boob jiggle

It's lazy parenting. "I don't know how to actually deal with my child so I'm just gonna smack them around".

My parents managed to instill a ridiculous amount of fear in me without ever hitting me, a fear that still haunts me and kept me completely in line for all of my younger years living at home.

they kept you afraid so that you would behave?

that is what abuse looks like. not a pop on the butt with a full explanation of what you did wrong and why it's wrong.

[boob jiggle]

Chieftain Twilight

boob jiggle

It's lazy parenting. "I don't know how to actually deal with my child so I'm just gonna smack them around".

My parents managed to instill a ridiculous amount of fear in me without ever hitting me, a fear that still haunts me and kept me completely in line for all of my younger years living at home.

they kept you afraid so that you would behave?

that is what abuse looks like. not a pop on the butt with a full explanation of what you did wrong and why it's wrong.

They didn't keep me afraid.
They treated me with a lot of trust and respect.
Which made me absolutely terrified of ever doing anything that would disappoint them and make me lose that trust.

[Chieftain Twilight]

boob jiggle

Chieftain Twilight

boob jiggle

It's lazy parenting. "I don't know how to actually deal with my child so I'm just gonna smack them around".

My parents managed to instill a ridiculous amount of fear in me without ever hitting me, a fear that still haunts me and kept me completely in line for all of my younger years living at home.

they kept you afraid so that you would behave?

that is what abuse looks like. not a pop on the butt with a full explanation of what you did wrong and why it's wrong.

They didn't keep me afraid.
They treated me with a lot of trust and respect.
Which made me absolutely terrified of ever doing anything that would disappoint them and make me lose that trust.

ah. smile that's a much better way to go about it. that's the sort of parent I hope to be. let's just hope my future kids will be on the same page as me. sweatdrop