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-update. I told him he should just stay with his current girlfriend, because I couldnt trust that he wouldnt cheat on me also. We had a long conversation and hopefully he will listen to what I told him.



l*This all took place on gaia. Also, he lives quite far away, like other country kind of far. Id rather not have anybody commenting on the fact that I should find some one closer to my physical location, that isnt the issue.*

So, a few months ago I began to have romantic feelings for my friend, I shall refer to him as Doc. Doc and I had been extremely close friends for a very long while and Im not sure how but suddenly we began to talk as though we were a couple. Even I love yous slipped into conversations and not the plain friendly kinds. This all would have been fine and dandy, except for one fact: He has a girlfriend.

I figured this out a couple days after our lovely intimate conversations started, in fact, he introduced his girlfriend to me in Rally. I felt betrayed, but he immediately explained to me that he didnt even like her any more and he was going to break up with her when the time was right, so he could be with me.

Now its been months and Doc is still with his girlfriend. I do not want to be the foolish accomplice to a cheater and I am paranoid that if he ever does break up with her and goes out with me, he may cheat on me just like he did to her.

Im wondering if I should break this off. I love him very much and hes a great guy, but I dont want anyone to be more hurt than they already are.

Advice or opinions?
Turts
*This all took place on gaia. Also, he lives quite far away, like other country kind of far. I'd rather not have anybody commenting on the fact that I should find some one closer to my physical location, that isn't the issue.*

So, a few months ago I began to have romantic feelings for my friend, I shall refer to him as Doc. Doc and I had been extremely close friends for a very long while and I'm not sure how but suddenly we began to talk as though we were a couple. Even "I love you"s slipped into conversations and not the plain friendly kinds. This all would have been fine and dandy, except for one fact: He has a girlfriend.

I figured this out a couple days after our lovely intimate conversations started, in fact, he introduced his girlfriend to me in Rally. I felt betrayed, but he immediately explained to me that he didn't even like her any more and he was going to break up with her when the time was right, so he could be with me.

Now it's been months and Doc is still with his girlfriend. I do not want to be the foolish accomplice to a cheater and I am paranoid that if he ever does break up with her and goes out with me, he may cheat on me just like he did to her.

I'm wondering if I should break this off. I love him very much and he's a great guy, but I don't want anyone to be more hurt than they already are.

Advice or opinions?


He lives a country away from you. In the long run, what are you expecting to find with him? He may cheat or he may not cheat. It's difficult to determine what his intentions are. It's a long-distance relationship, so if you feel that you can't trust the guy, then you're better off not letting it go any further, because trust is all you have in those types of relationships. He technically hasn't cheated on you yet, so I'd give him the benefit of the doubt on that front, but he hasn't broken up with his girlfriend yet either. So honestly, who knows.

Follow your heart, but use reasoning when you follow it.
Belonging To Night
Turts
*This all took place on gaia. Also, he lives quite far away, like other country kind of far. I'd rather not have anybody commenting on the fact that I should find some one closer to my physical location, that isn't the issue.*

So, a few months ago I began to have romantic feelings for my friend, I shall refer to him as Doc. Doc and I had been extremely close friends for a very long while and I'm not sure how but suddenly we began to talk as though we were a couple. Even "I love you"s slipped into conversations and not the plain friendly kinds. This all would have been fine and dandy, except for one fact: He has a girlfriend.

I figured this out a couple days after our lovely intimate conversations started, in fact, he introduced his girlfriend to me in Rally. I felt betrayed, but he immediately explained to me that he didn't even like her any more and he was going to break up with her when the time was right, so he could be with me.

Now it's been months and Doc is still with his girlfriend. I do not want to be the foolish accomplice to a cheater and I am paranoid that if he ever does break up with her and goes out with me, he may cheat on me just like he did to her.

I'm wondering if I should break this off. I love him very much and he's a great guy, but I don't want anyone to be more hurt than they already are.

Advice or opinions?


He lives a country away from you. In the long run, what are you expecting to find with him? He may cheat or he may not cheat. It's difficult to determine what this intentions are. It's a long-distance relationship, so if you feel you can't trust the guy, you're better off not letting anything go any further, because trust is all you have in those types of relationships. He technically hasn't cheated on you yet, so I'd give him the benefit of the doubt on that front, but he hasn't broken up with his girlfriend yet either. So honestly, who knows.

Follow your heart, but use reasoning when you follow it.


Thank you for the advice. It's reasonable and very helpful. Thank you so much.
ectogasm's avatar

Cat

 
I would break it off.
Doesnt it feel weird?
If he was going to break up with his girlfriend because he said he didnt like her anymore, he would have done it by now. When he said he would break up with his girlfriend just so he could be with you sounds sketchy.
Id talk to him to and confront him if necessary, say the things you need/want to
Firstly, thank you thank you thank you for not being an accomplice to his potential cheating ways.
Anyway, I would say that you could still continue speaking to him, but set a kind of distance or boundary between the two of you. ie. No I love you's slipping out here and there. Hopefully he'll get the gist.
You shouldn't blame yourself for having feelings for him, it's normal. It really depends on how you decide to act upon them, especially considering his current relationship status.
Good luck. c:
Turts
*This all took place on gaia. Also, he lives quite far away, like other country kind of far. I'd rather not have anybody commenting on the fact that I should find some one closer to my physical location, that isn't the issue.*

So, a few months ago I began to have romantic feelings for my friend, I shall refer to him as Doc. Doc and I had been extremely close friends for a very long while and I'm not sure how but suddenly we began to talk as though we were a couple. Even "I love you"s slipped into conversations and not the plain friendly kinds. This all would have been fine and dandy, except for one fact: He has a girlfriend.

I figured this out a couple days after our lovely intimate conversations started, in fact, he introduced his girlfriend to me in Rally. I felt betrayed, but he immediately explained to me that he didn't even like her any more and he was going to break up with her when the time was right, so he could be with me.

Now it's been months and Doc is still with his girlfriend. I do not want to be the foolish accomplice to a cheater and I am paranoid that if he ever does break up with her and goes out with me, he may cheat on me just like he did to her.

I'm wondering if I should break this off. I love him very much and he's a great guy, but I don't want anyone to be more hurt than they already are.

Advice or opinions?


Don't be that girl. Don't be the girl who falls for words like that. Is he still with her? Yes. Was he still with her when you two began? Yes. Did he say he'd leave her? Yes, whoopidoo. But until he has actually left her, he's cheating. Even though it is only emotionally, he is cheating on his girlfriend - you're the other woman.
Turts
Belonging To Night
Turts
*This all took place on gaia. Also, he lives quite far away, like other country kind of far. I'd rather not have anybody commenting on the fact that I should find some one closer to my physical location, that isn't the issue.*

So, a few months ago I began to have romantic feelings for my friend, I shall refer to him as Doc. Doc and I had been extremely close friends for a very long while and I'm not sure how but suddenly we began to talk as though we were a couple. Even "I love you"s slipped into conversations and not the plain friendly kinds. This all would have been fine and dandy, except for one fact: He has a girlfriend.

I figured this out a couple days after our lovely intimate conversations started, in fact, he introduced his girlfriend to me in Rally. I felt betrayed, but he immediately explained to me that he didn't even like her any more and he was going to break up with her when the time was right, so he could be with me.

Now it's been months and Doc is still with his girlfriend. I do not want to be the foolish accomplice to a cheater and I am paranoid that if he ever does break up with her and goes out with me, he may cheat on me just like he did to her.

I'm wondering if I should break this off. I love him very much and he's a great guy, but I don't want anyone to be more hurt than they already are.

Advice or opinions?


He lives a country away from you. In the long run, what are you expecting to find with him? He may cheat or he may not cheat. It's difficult to determine what this intentions are. It's a long-distance relationship, so if you feel you can't trust the guy, you're better off not letting anything go any further, because trust is all you have in those types of relationships. He technically hasn't cheated on you yet, so I'd give him the benefit of the doubt on that front, but he hasn't broken up with his girlfriend yet either. So honestly, who knows.

Follow your heart, but use reasoning when you follow it.


Thank you for the advice. It's reasonable and very helpful. Thank you so much.


Not a problem. It's good to question certain things. If you can follow a line of questioning that is pertinent and pertains to the relationship, what you want, and what he wants, then it's easier to see and to determine how real and practical everything is and isn't.

It's easy to get caught up in romance and rush into things without realizing what's truly going on or where things may be headed. But then again, that's what lust, love, and romantic chemistry is. Also, it's said that distance has the ability to enhance the feelings of longing and yearning between lovers.

The guy could be putting you on, or he could have gotten caught up in the moment with you and fell for you, and he himself could be teetering between two worlds right now, questioning whether or not it's practical to continue a long-distance relationship. It's difficult to tell what he wants since you can only take him on his words, his actions, and the value that you choose to place in those things based upon how much you trust him.
Turts
*This all took place on gaia. Also, he lives quite far away, like other country kind of far. I'd rather not have anybody commenting on the fact that I should find some one closer to my physical location, that isn't the issue.*

So, a few months ago I began to have romantic feelings for my friend, I shall refer to him as Doc. Doc and I had been extremely close friends for a very long while and I'm not sure how but suddenly we began to talk as though we were a couple. Even "I love you"s slipped into conversations and not the plain friendly kinds. This all would have been fine and dandy, except for one fact: He has a girlfriend.

I figured this out a couple days after our lovely intimate conversations started, in fact, he introduced his girlfriend to me in Rally. I felt betrayed, but he immediately explained to me that he didn't even like her any more and he was going to break up with her when the time was right, so he could be with me.

Now it's been months and Doc is still with his girlfriend. I do not want to be the foolish accomplice to a cheater and I am paranoid that if he ever does break up with her and goes out with me, he may cheat on me just like he did to her.

I'm wondering if I should break this off. I love him very much and he's a great guy, but I don't want anyone to be more hurt than they already are.

Advice or opinions?
I would say go for your heart, but in this case when he said soon, soon normally doesn't mean months, I've been in this kind of situation before, and for me its always ended badly. Plus, I think considering the fact that its long distance could make it even more of a challenge for you two.
Desideraht's avatar

Dapper Phantom

Do you want to be with someone who would cheat on his girlfriend? :/

He "introduced" you to his girlfriend, her completely oblivious to the fact that he is almost desperately promising some other girl that he's going to dump her... Uh, hell no, I would never trust someone who has a girlfriend he doesn't even like as some sort of "accessory".

It's not even just a cheating issue. He does not honor his partner. He has no respect for her. Do you want to date a man-- BOY, sorry-- who has no respect for someone else?
RabbityRabbu's avatar

Greedy Raider

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➠ ➠ Even without the whole long distance thing... The fact that you're already having doubts kind of gives you your answer already.
Personally I don't trust any guy who tells me that he loves me before he even actually meets me.
He sounds like a manipulative person. I don't think he's worth it.
Curved Swords's avatar

Friendly Gawker

Break it off... I've been in a situation like this before and it caused a lot of drama and stress that I really didn't need at the time. He may actually have good intentions but you still can't be too sure. I'd honestly say give it a miss.
Screamin Liono's avatar

Partying Genius

You've been used to fill up an emotional void that he couldn't fill with his current relationship. Now that you've done your job as an emotional tampon, time to move on and find someone who is genuinely interested.

P.S If he is considering leaving his present gf for a better girl, then he will do the same with you when he meets someone better and you'll be the one being replaced. It's a cycle, learn to recognize it. emotion_yatta
Buttery Biscuit Face's avatar

Shameless Gawker

I hate to say it but... no he doesn't actually seem like he's all that nice. Trust me, I've been there. Tell him that you don't like how he is treating this other girl and if he keeps doing it you will have to do something about it. He's hurting you right? That's not real friendship.
The Whiskey Rebellion's avatar

Anxious Smoker

If you have to ask...

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