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So I don't know if other people have this sort of issue, but for a lot of my friends, I am sort of like a community therapist. For some reason everyone comes to me with their problems, or if they don't, somehow our conversations end up there. I think it has to do with my willingness to listen and the fact that I don't gossip with people irl, but whatever.

Anyways I rarely seek out other people's problems, but this stood out to me. One of my male friends, who is young (19 years old) but is relatively old for not having a girlfriend. In fact it seems he avoids women ( though I am told he had a girl friend before we met) . Now this wouldn't be a bad thing if he was happy, but he really isn't. He's depressed, at least he appears so often, and always has this aura of loneliness about him.

I confronted him about it and he avoided me a lot, but eventually he gave up and came around to talking with me about it. The easiest way to put it would be " He likes rape" . Quite frankly he is terrified to date girls because while he can perform regularly in bed, his fulfillment and happiness relies on stripping another person of their will and using them as a hunk of meat.

It isn't as though he has uncontrollable urges or anything like that. He isn't a sociopath. It's just his fetish. Not only does he realize that is happiness relies on someone else's displeasure, but he has serious issues with the contrast between how he feels about women romantically and how he feels about them sexually. To quote him " I broke up with my last girlfriend because even though I adored everything about her, I wanted to do really terrible things to her. Our sex life was active but ultimately unfulfilling for me. I asked myself if I would be able to look her in the eye without some sort of guilt or ruined image if I was happy in the bedroom, and the answer was ultimately no, even if she agreed to it I would feel too guilty about it. So I broke up with her, and I haven't dated since. " .

Now I really want to help this guy. He's a great friend to me, and honestly he's done a lot for me. I know it sounds weird but it doesn't bother me much at all. He simply has a control fetish, for lack of a better word. Unlike extreme sadists, he isn't looking to cut a woman or put out cigarettes on her body or any of the extreme s**t you hear about, and so it bothers me less. Further he shows he has a clear understanding of consent and why it is important. His entire issue is that his ability to get off is based on objectifying, controlling, and dehumanizing a woman, and he not only knows that is terrible but his conscience won't let him even near someone to even try to be happy.

All this said, he is a human being and I think he deserves to be happy/have a form of release. The problem is I'm not sure how to cater to this issue or suggest a solution. The easiest thing would be finding a masochistic woman who wouldn't mind being raped, but then that kind of defeats the purpose. I'm not really sure how to address this. On the one hand, there are far more extreme sexual devianaces out there that people manage to satisfy every day. On the other hand, it is kind of morbid.

For myself this is sort of a weird issue too because I've had rape fantasies before. In fact I know a few girls who have. I also know girls who have been raped/had attempts made. Because of this I always have mixed feelings on the subject.

Discuss.
- Men commit most rapes. Men seem to fetishize and desire rape more often than women. I actually know a few men who would admit in private that they have fantasized about rape or raping someone, though admittedly this is the first case I have seen of it being a primary fetish. Why do you think this is?

- Do you think women fantasize about raping people at all? Quite often whenever I hear about females raping someone it almost seems to always be with a strap on d***o. This always strikes me as odd because it is almost like in order to rape you -must- be male and so for females to do it they must find an analogue p***s to use. While I understand it is possible for women to rape people, how often do you think it happens without the use of a secondary tool? Do you think women rape men or women more often? Also a lot of the time when I talk about this with male and female friends alike they always see it as a plus for the male victim as long as she doesn't use a device on him. Similarly none of them see a girl raping another girl as being as bad as a man raping a girl so long as she doesn't use a strap on. Why do you think perception of female rape is almost never seen as being malevolent unless there is a p***s analogue?

- Why do people fetishize rape at all?

- Why do some girls fantasize about rape? I admit I don't actually know what I find appealing about it myself, because my fantasies about it are few and far between. They are more like when you get a taste for something you rarely eat and can't figure out what it is. Because of this I know that I find the idea of being raped appealing from time to time, but I never really know why. Similarly almost all of my female friends who also admit to having the fantasy have a similar issue of not being able to pinpoint what makes it desirable.

- related discussion.

Familiar Poster

Woah, that's a lot of questions. Uhhh...People like control I guess.

Azorii's Wife

Wheezing Sophomore

WRONG

Dolphins commit most rape
Velvet Overkill
WRONG

Dolphins commit most rape


I thought that was only like 14 a year or some such.

Azorii's Wife

Wheezing Sophomore

Blue Fly Sky Fly Fly
Velvet Overkill
WRONG

Dolphins commit most rape


I thought that was only like 14 a year or some such.

Damn, you've blind sighted me with logistics.

Bara Doge's Queen

Omnipresent Senshi

- Men commit most rapes. Men seem to fetishize and desire rape more often than women. I actually know a few men who would admit in private that they have fantasized about rape or raping someone, though admittedly this is the first case I have seen of it being a primary fetish. Why do you think this is?

Because it's a fetish and everyone is allowed to have them AS LONG as all the parties involved consent to it.

- Do you think women fantasize about raping people at all? Quite often whenever I hear about females raping someone it almost seems to always be with a strap on d***o. This always strikes me as odd because it is almost like in order to rape you -must- be male and so for females to do it they must find an analogue p***s to use. While I understand it is possible for women to rape people, how often do you think it happens without the use of a secondary tool? Do you think women rape men or women more often? Also a lot of the time when I talk about this with male and female friends alike they always see it as a plus for the male victim as long as she doesn't use a device on him. Similarly none of them see a girl raping another girl as being as bad as a man raping a girl so long as she doesn't use a strap on. Why do you think perception of female rape is almost never seen as being malevolent unless there is a p***s analogue?

Women tend to fantasize about getting raped, but not raping. However, that doesn't mean all women are like that. When we're talking about rape as in, the crime, but not the fetish, then yes, women and men can rape, but male rape is diminished by society. Why? Because a woman is fragile as a flower and men are sexist pigs, amirite.

- Why do people fetishize rape at all?

It just happens. It's the same as having a foot fetish, or having a latex fetish.

- Why do some girls fantasize about rape? I admit I don't actually know what I find appealing about it myself, because my fantasies about it are few and far between. They are more like when you get a taste for something you rarely eat and can't figure out what it is. Because of this I know that I find the idea of being raped appealing from time to time, but I never really know why. Similarly almost all of my female friends who also admit to having the fantasy have a similar issue of not being able to pinpoint what makes it desirable.

Because they like control and dominance. Most women I've met are like that anyway.
Dolce Rogue

Because they like control and dominance. Most women I've met are like that anyway.


I meant more " Why do women fantasize about -being raped- "

Bara Doge's Queen

Omnipresent Senshi

Blue Fly Sky Fly Fly
Dolce Rogue

Because they like control and dominance. Most women I've met are like that anyway.


I meant more " Why do women fantasize about -being raped- "


I know. That's the answer. They like control and dominance in bed.
Dolce Rogue
- Men commit most rapes. Men seem to fetishize and desire rape more often than women. I actually know a few men who would admit in private that they have fantasized about rape or raping someone, though admittedly this is the first case I have seen of it being a primary fetish. Why do you think this is?

Because it's a fetish and everyone is allowed to have them AS LONG as all the parties involved consent to it.

- Do you think women fantasize about raping people at all? Quite often whenever I hear about females raping someone it almost seems to always be with a strap on d***o. This always strikes me as odd because it is almost like in order to rape you -must- be male and so for females to do it they must find an analogue p***s to use. While I understand it is possible for women to rape people, how often do you think it happens without the use of a secondary tool? Do you think women rape men or women more often? Also a lot of the time when I talk about this with male and female friends alike they always see it as a plus for the male victim as long as she doesn't use a device on him. Similarly none of them see a girl raping another girl as being as bad as a man raping a girl so long as she doesn't use a strap on. Why do you think perception of female rape is almost never seen as being malevolent unless there is a p***s analogue?

Women tend to fantasize about getting raped, but not raping. However, that doesn't mean all women are like that. When we're talking about rape as in, the crime, but not the fetish, then yes, women and men can rape, but male rape is diminished by society. Why? Because a woman is fragile as a flower and men are sexist pigs, amirite.

- Why do people fetishize rape at all?

It just happens. It's the same as having a foot fetish, or having a latex fetish.

- Why do some girls fantasize about rape? I admit I don't actually know what I find appealing about it myself, because my fantasies about it are few and far between. They are more like when you get a taste for something you rarely eat and can't figure out what it is. Because of this I know that I find the idea of being raped appealing from time to time, but I never really know why. Similarly almost all of my female friends who also admit to having the fantasy have a similar issue of not being able to pinpoint what makes it desirable.

Because they like control and dominance. Most women I've met are like that anyway.


So it's okay to fantasize about rape and to have it as a fetish, as long as both of the people in the sex act consent to it...............Why do I find that completely ridiculous and stupid.

When two people consent to a sexual act, it isn't rape. So people fantasize about rape, and "pretend rape" by going into sexual acts that are consented by both people? Yeah that's stupid and contradictory. Makes no sense at all.
Blue Fly Sky Fly Fly
Dolce Rogue

Because they like control and dominance. Most women I've met are like that anyway.


I meant more " Why do women fantasize about -being raped- "


Women like to be dominated in bed. I actually read that back in a psychology journal that was discussing the contradictory values between what women want in the bed, and what values women are supposed to have today (feminist values like equality and so forth). So basically women want contradictory things, which to me is the least surprising thing someone could possibly say.

Women are irrational and contradictory? What's new? lol

Bara Doge's Queen

Omnipresent Senshi

Gonecrazy12345
Dolce Rogue
- Men commit most rapes. Men seem to fetishize and desire rape more often than women. I actually know a few men who would admit in private that they have fantasized about rape or raping someone, though admittedly this is the first case I have seen of it being a primary fetish. Why do you think this is?

Because it's a fetish and everyone is allowed to have them AS LONG as all the parties involved consent to it.

- Do you think women fantasize about raping people at all? Quite often whenever I hear about females raping someone it almost seems to always be with a strap on d***o. This always strikes me as odd because it is almost like in order to rape you -must- be male and so for females to do it they must find an analogue p***s to use. While I understand it is possible for women to rape people, how often do you think it happens without the use of a secondary tool? Do you think women rape men or women more often? Also a lot of the time when I talk about this with male and female friends alike they always see it as a plus for the male victim as long as she doesn't use a device on him. Similarly none of them see a girl raping another girl as being as bad as a man raping a girl so long as she doesn't use a strap on. Why do you think perception of female rape is almost never seen as being malevolent unless there is a p***s analogue?

Women tend to fantasize about getting raped, but not raping. However, that doesn't mean all women are like that. When we're talking about rape as in, the crime, but not the fetish, then yes, women and men can rape, but male rape is diminished by society. Why? Because a woman is fragile as a flower and men are sexist pigs, amirite.

- Why do people fetishize rape at all?

It just happens. It's the same as having a foot fetish, or having a latex fetish.

- Why do some girls fantasize about rape? I admit I don't actually know what I find appealing about it myself, because my fantasies about it are few and far between. They are more like when you get a taste for something you rarely eat and can't figure out what it is. Because of this I know that I find the idea of being raped appealing from time to time, but I never really know why. Similarly almost all of my female friends who also admit to having the fantasy have a similar issue of not being able to pinpoint what makes it desirable.

Because they like control and dominance. Most women I've met are like that anyway.


So it's okay to fantasize about rape and to have it as a fetish, as long as both of the people in the sex act consent to it...............Why do I find that completely ridiculous and stupid.

When two people consent to a sexual act, it isn't rape. So people fantasize about rape, and "pretend rape" by going into sexual acts that are consented by both people? Yeah that's stupid and contradictory. Makes no sense at all.


It is contradictory, but that's the name of the fetish.
Men feshtisize about rape because that's who we really are- animals. Almost all animal species rape their females. Look at our far family relatives- chimps, gorillas and urangutans. They rape their females. Do you think the female always contributes with the male when he wants some? Of course not.
As much as we try to distance ourselves from our fellow relatives because we're more intelligent from them, eventually we desire the same thing as any other species in the world. Girls prefer to be submissive in bed, and men prefer do dominate. (Of course i'm not generalizing, I know some girls and boys prefer the opposite. I'm just saying what's more common).
Blue Fly Sky Fly Fly



All this said, he is a human being and I think he deserves to be happy/have a form of release. The problem is I'm not sure how to cater to this issue or suggest a solution. The easiest thing would be finding a masochistic woman who wouldn't mind being raped, but then that kind of defeats the purpose. I'm not really sure how to address this. On the one hand, there are far more extreme sexual devianaces out there that people manage to satisfy every day. On the other hand, it is kind of morbid.



- Why do some girls fantasize about rape? I admit I don't actually know what I find appealing about it myself, because my fantasies about it are few and far between. They are more like when you get a taste for something you rarely eat and can't figure out what it is. Because of this I know that I find the idea of being raped appealing from time to time, but I never really know why. Similarly almost all of my female friends who also admit to having the fantasy have a similar issue of not being able to pinpoint what makes it desirable.

- related discussion.



well yea, if he could find a woman who enjoy the other way around, it would be best for him, and her. It's just a matter of been in the right society, right location and having some luck..

Now the whole "then that kind of defeats the purpose" I would have to disagre. It's possible to be unwilling willingly. By setting a certain mindset during to pleasureble moments, a girl can kick into her feelings of unwillingness so that the male feel like he has true control against the girl's wish. Even if you understand with your mind that she is willing, her body language, her words, her everything will make the male's body and instinc think she isn't and that is seem like true rape. Usually, girls who are really into that kind of thing can do that much atleast. Think of it as playing a role but without it feeling like a role at all.

Now as to why some of us actually like the though of men overpowering us, That's a pretty hard question to answer. To me I just feel drawn to the raw power of dominance that forcefully lower my high status. When mind and body start to conflict and the body is starting to win over the mind.. When you start feeling your self giving in but your moral trying to fight back with all it got.. slowly decaying to the overwelming feeling of dominance eating away at your sanity..

Anyway, I hope your friend will find such a girl, it shouldn't be that hard. There is nothing more perverted than females, we just hide it well.

Shameless Grabber

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- Men commit most rapes. Men seem to fetishize and desire rape more often than women. I actually know a few men who would admit in private that they have fantasized about rape or raping someone, though admittedly this is the first case I have seen of it being a primary fetish. Why do you think this is?

B/c rape is wrong and getting someone to admit they like it, typically, makes you see them differently (and worse). Or did I misunderstand the questions? ;x


- Do you think women fantasize about raping people at all? Quite often whenever I hear about females raping someone it almost seems to always be with a strap on d***o. This always strikes me as odd because it is almost like in order to rape you -must- be male and so for females to do it they must find an analogue p***s to use. While I understand it is possible for women to rape people, how often do you think it happens without the use of a secondary tool? Do you think women rape men or women more often? Also a lot of the time when I talk about this with male and female friends alike they always see it as a plus for the male victim as long as she doesn't use a device on him. Similarly none of them see a girl raping another girl as being as bad as a man raping a girl so long as she doesn't use a strap on. Why do you think perception of female rape is almost never seen as being malevolent unless there is a p***s analogue?

Probably.
Happens w/o the use of a tool enough times I bet.
The numbers are probably closer than we think, just that so many go unreported (especially for men).
B/c women can do no harm, clearly emotion_awesome


- Why do people fetishize rape at all?

It's about power. I'm a submissive, and a bit of a masochist, and the thought of being completely overpowered by a woman and having no ability to fight back is just so........ emotion_drool


- Why do some girls fantasize about rape? I admit I don't actually know what I find appealing about it myself, because my fantasies about it are few and far between. They are more like when you get a taste for something you rarely eat and can't figure out what it is. Because of this I know that I find the idea of being raped appealing from time to time, but I never really know why. Similarly almost all of my female friends who also admit to having the fantasy have a similar issue of not being able to pinpoint what makes it desirable.

They're probably masochist.

Mega Glitch

Gonecrazy12345
Dolce Rogue
- Men commit most rapes. Men seem to fetishize and desire rape more often than women. I actually know a few men who would admit in private that they have fantasized about rape or raping someone, though admittedly this is the first case I have seen of it being a primary fetish. Why do you think this is?

Because it's a fetish and everyone is allowed to have them AS LONG as all the parties involved consent to it.

- Do you think women fantasize about raping people at all? Quite often whenever I hear about females raping someone it almost seems to always be with a strap on d***o. This always strikes me as odd because it is almost like in order to rape you -must- be male and so for females to do it they must find an analogue p***s to use. While I understand it is possible for women to rape people, how often do you think it happens without the use of a secondary tool? Do you think women rape men or women more often? Also a lot of the time when I talk about this with male and female friends alike they always see it as a plus for the male victim as long as she doesn't use a device on him. Similarly none of them see a girl raping another girl as being as bad as a man raping a girl so long as she doesn't use a strap on. Why do you think perception of female rape is almost never seen as being malevolent unless there is a p***s analogue?

Women tend to fantasize about getting raped, but not raping. However, that doesn't mean all women are like that. When we're talking about rape as in, the crime, but not the fetish, then yes, women and men can rape, but male rape is diminished by society. Why? Because a woman is fragile as a flower and men are sexist pigs, amirite.

- Why do people fetishize rape at all?

It just happens. It's the same as having a foot fetish, or having a latex fetish.

- Why do some girls fantasize about rape? I admit I don't actually know what I find appealing about it myself, because my fantasies about it are few and far between. They are more like when you get a taste for something you rarely eat and can't figure out what it is. Because of this I know that I find the idea of being raped appealing from time to time, but I never really know why. Similarly almost all of my female friends who also admit to having the fantasy have a similar issue of not being able to pinpoint what makes it desirable.

Because they like control and dominance. Most women I've met are like that anyway.


So it's okay to fantasize about rape and to have it as a fetish, as long as both of the people in the sex act consent to it...............Why do I find that completely ridiculous and stupid.

When two people consent to a sexual act, it isn't rape. So people fantasize about rape, and "pretend rape" by going into sexual acts that are consented by both people? Yeah that's stupid and contradictory. Makes no sense at all.

Well what typically happens, to my general knowledge, is that when two people consent to a role-play about rape they discuss it earlier on. They play out the scenario later and then have a safe-word that ACTUALLY means no. I think Blackrose Knight has more info on this type of thing than I do.
(In case she reads this): I am not saying that BDSM are all about rape scenarios, but I recall you talking about it once before.

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