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ectogasm's avatar

Warlord

Mega Lya
ectogasm

Time definitely goes by fast, way too fast.
I didn't realize it was going by either, "Oh, only a few months." turning into half a year.

Now it's not so much the act, it's the thought.
And now people are going to come in here, thinking we are here for attention.
Call us whatever you like, it's not going to change our situation and if it does, it could make it worse. But it won't effect me in any way, tis the internet.
The thought is what's detrimental. It takes over everything--in a sense. Once we are triggered, it is so exhausting simply to defeat it, you know?

It's hard for people to understand self-harm in general. They don't understand why we do it and why we can't "just stop" I never understood it either until I went through it myself--I don't blame them or anything. It's probably just a maturity thing in some of them too.... because what if they have a child one day and they self harm? They're not going to tell their kid to "go and just die," or anything.

Sure, there a lot of things that can go with this and there a lot of things that are even triggering and part of getting through self-harm is to get a way to deal things that are triggering.
For me, nothing really triggers except the thoughts of me doing it.

And I can't understand what people think "You might as well die, you're such an idiot" although I did think negatively at first but like I said, you have to experience it. It doesn't put me down at all it just makes me wonder.
The mindset they have is not the right one either, I assume.
ectogasm
Mega Lya
ectogasm

Time definitely goes by fast, way too fast.
I didn't realize it was going by either, "Oh, only a few months." turning into half a year.

Now it's not so much the act, it's the thought.
And now people are going to come in here, thinking we are here for attention.
Call us whatever you like, it's not going to change our situation and if it does, it could make it worse. But it won't effect me in any way, tis the internet.
The thought is what's detrimental. It takes over everything--in a sense. Once we are triggered, it is so exhausting simply to defeat it, you know?

It's hard for people to understand self-harm in general. They don't understand why we do it and why we can't "just stop" I never understood it either until I went through it myself--I don't blame them or anything. It's probably just a maturity thing in some of them too.... because what if they have a child one day and they self harm? They're not going to tell their kid to "go and just die," or anything.

Sure, there a lot of things that can go with this and there a lot of things that are even triggering and part of getting through self-harm is to get a way to deal things that are triggering.
For me, nothing really triggers except the thoughts of me doing it.

And I can't understand what people think "You might as well die, you're such an idiot" although I did think negatively at first but like I said, you have to experience it. It doesn't put me down at all it just makes me wonder.
The mindset they have is not the right one either, I assume.
Yeah. I have different triggers, but my counselor and I are starting to work it out a little. (I love my counselor but it takes me a while still XD, I've been seeing her for 8 months now and we think we might have just found the reason causing me to do this)

I don't understand why anyone would say anything that cruel to anyone, no matter who they are or what they've done. It's cruel no matter what. Words hurt a lot more than people think they do.
ectogasm's avatar

Warlord

Mega Lya
ectogasm
Mega Lya
ectogasm

Time definitely goes by fast, way too fast.
I didn't realize it was going by either, "Oh, only a few months." turning into half a year.

Now it's not so much the act, it's the thought.
And now people are going to come in here, thinking we are here for attention.
Call us whatever you like, it's not going to change our situation and if it does, it could make it worse. But it won't effect me in any way, tis the internet.
The thought is what's detrimental. It takes over everything--in a sense. Once we are triggered, it is so exhausting simply to defeat it, you know?

It's hard for people to understand self-harm in general. They don't understand why we do it and why we can't "just stop" I never understood it either until I went through it myself--I don't blame them or anything. It's probably just a maturity thing in some of them too.... because what if they have a child one day and they self harm? They're not going to tell their kid to "go and just die," or anything.

Sure, there a lot of things that can go with this and there a lot of things that are even triggering and part of getting through self-harm is to get a way to deal things that are triggering.
For me, nothing really triggers except the thoughts of me doing it.

And I can't understand what people think "You might as well die, you're such an idiot" although I did think negatively at first but like I said, you have to experience it. It doesn't put me down at all it just makes me wonder.
The mindset they have is not the right one either, I assume.
Yeah. I have different triggers, but my counselor and I are starting to work it out a little. (I love my counselor but it takes me a while still XD, I've been seeing her for 8 months now and we think we might have just found the reason causing me to do this)

I don't understand why anyone would say anything that cruel to anyone, no matter who they are or what they've done. It's cruel no matter what. Words hurt a lot more than people think they do.

Once you figure out why you have, you can work on what triggers you and why.
I don't think I have triggers, I just have urges.

Even though it is the internet, it is expected, people do get hurt. I could easily say to them to get over it or grow a pair but I don't see the point if I don't know the situation. Some cases I do, depends on what it is. Words have stopped hurting me a long time ago when I was first dealing with depression, I got told I was just looking for attention and "attention whore"
ectogasm

Once you figure out why you have, you can work on what triggers you and why.
I don't think I have triggers, I just have urges.

Even though it is the internet, it is expected, people do get hurt. I could easily say to them to get over it or grow a pair but I don't see the point if I don't know the situation. Some cases I do, depends on what it is. Words have stopped hurting me a long time ago when I was first dealing with depression, I got told I was just looking for attention and "attention whore"
Words generally hurt me if I have known the person for a while or if its a stranger who says it to me in public or something, then it hurts. But through here, it's like, "yeah, their ego is too high," whatever. It's cruel but they'll grow up one day xd
ectogasm's avatar

Warlord

Mega Lya
ectogasm

Once you figure out why you have, you can work on what triggers you and why.
I don't think I have triggers, I just have urges.

Even though it is the internet, it is expected, people do get hurt. I could easily say to them to get over it or grow a pair but I don't see the point if I don't know the situation. Some cases I do, depends on what it is. Words have stopped hurting me a long time ago when I was first dealing with depression, I got told I was just looking for attention and "attention whore"
Words generally hurt me if I have known the person for a while or if its a stranger who says it to me in public or something, then it hurts. But through here, it's like, "yeah, their ego is too high," whatever. It's cruel but they'll grow up one day xd

It all depends, really.
On who's saying it, when, how they're saying it, the context..etc..
The internet will bring out the worst in people, it does to me sometimes.
emi desu's avatar

Kawaii Slayer

      User Image

      Hello ~ I wish I would have seen a thread like this a few years ago!
      Due to some family trouble and life issues, I've been cutting for nearly 6 years now.
      On New Year's this year I finally decided that was enough! I threw my razors off a bridge. I'm 6 months clean.
      I still live with the deep purple scars every day, just a reminder of how even in weakness, I was strong in my own way.
      The same for anyone else who self harms! Everyone has moments of weakness but it is nothing to be ashamed of.
      Whether its an impulse, coping method, or desire, we all need someone or a thread like this sometimes.

      Jut remember everyone is beautiful and amazing in their own way. Stay strong ~
      You have my support as well!
ectogasm
Mega Lya
ectogasm

Once you figure out why you have, you can work on what triggers you and why.
I don't think I have triggers, I just have urges.

Even though it is the internet, it is expected, people do get hurt. I could easily say to them to get over it or grow a pair but I don't see the point if I don't know the situation. Some cases I do, depends on what it is. Words have stopped hurting me a long time ago when I was first dealing with depression, I got told I was just looking for attention and "attention whore"
Words generally hurt me if I have known the person for a while or if its a stranger who says it to me in public or something, then it hurts. But through here, it's like, "yeah, their ego is too high," whatever. It's cruel but they'll grow up one day xd

It all depends, really.
On who's saying it, when, how they're saying it, the context..etc..
The internet will bring out the worst in people, it does to me sometimes.
Yeah, I've caught myself not being great on the internet either. It's cause we are behind a screen and not really needing to worry.
emi desu
      User Image

      Hello ~ I wish I would have seen a thread like this a few years ago!
      Due to some family trouble and life issues, I've been cutting for nearly 6 years now.
      On New Year's this year I finally decided that was enough! I threw my razors off a bridge. I'm 6 months clean.
      I still live with the deep purple scars every day, just a reminder of how even in weakness, I was strong in my own way.
      The same for anyone else who self harms! Everyone has moments of weakness but it is nothing to be ashamed of.
      Whether its an impulse, coping method, or desire, we all need someone or a thread like this sometimes.

      Jut remember everyone is beautiful and amazing in their own way. Stay strong ~
      You have my support as well!
<3
I am so glad you're doing better!!
I'm sorry you had to struggle though.. <3 But throwing them off of a bridge seems like a good way to get rid of them. Maybe I will do something like that.
spacefriend's avatar

Sparkly Fatcat

My name is Andy, I'm 13 years old and I've used self-harm as a coping mechanism for a year and four months. I have attempted suicide twice, but I'm now on two medications to help with my depression and suicidal thoughts. Though it's been roughly two months since I last cut or burned, I still consider myself a self-harmer because the thought is always there. I've never really written it all out, especially not online, so I guess here goes. My mom is a harsh alcoholic and my father is a drug addict. They split up, and after like 20 boyfriends my mom is now engaged to some dude who is the father of her new child and also homophobic and racist. Since I'm transgender, he constantly misgenders me and calls me by the wrong name. He makes a point to make fun of shows that I watch, and calls people I idolize fags. Mom says to forgive him, because he buys us nice stuff. It isn't right. And my grandma constantly gets furious and kicks me out of her house, or makes up lies about the awful things I did so mom can pity her. My father is also homophobic, though he claims he's not and constantly makes hypocritical statements. He tries to accept me, but in the end he just screams at my mother like it's her fault I'm mentally male. And you know, sometimes I still dance a pair of scissors along my arms or thighs or stomach, tracing my previous "work". I mean, it's not like a project or anything, but sometimes I feel when I'm irrationally thinking that my flesh would just look better if it was littered with scars. I don't KNow, ugh. Sorry this is so long, thanks for reading if you did. It feels really nice to get all this off my chest to strangers, uh. I feel like a really big "attention whore" by telling people, s**t.
emotion_facepalm
Breakfast Sex's avatar

Romantic Lunatic

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-sigh- i'm not happy about this. but yes, i've done it before... and i haven't totally lost it yet.
I was depressive during my high school years... i was labeled "emo" but i didn't really care...

I'm still depressed sometimes... and im in college now.. xD
It's really hard to get rid of the mental state of this. I've met this guy who understood my pain... who've been there for me... since i became more and more depressive this year....

He made me stop.. and gave me hope. =)

Of course, i listen to music and write poetry to clear my mind and emotions. 3nodding It's a huge help for me!

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