PTSD Support Thread

[The Lady Voldemort]

Less Than Beth

The Lady Voldemort

It's interesting that I found this thread right now. I have Complex PTSD and I've been having panic attacks and flashbacks all day. An hour ago I dissociated and passed out for the first time in years. (The passing out part, not the dissociation.)

Anyway, I'm glad this place exists and it's nice to meet you! smile I wish you all health and well being.

Welcome to the thread biggrin
Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks. smile
I'm thankful that I'm feeling much better than I did just a few hours ago.

[The_Spiciest_Mchaggis]

The Lady Voldemort

Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks. smile
I'm thankful that I'm feeling much better than I did just a few hours ago.

Good to hear.
It's always relieving to know to know that things calm down a bit after the worst of them. Though you might feel stuck during an episode, it eventually subsides.

[SinfulGuillotine]

The Lady Voldemort

It's interesting that I found this thread right now. I have Complex PTSD and I've been having panic attacks and flashbacks all day. An hour ago I dissociated and passed out for the first time in years. (The passing out part, not the dissociation.)

Anyway, I'm glad this place exists and it's nice to meet you! smile I wish you all health and well being.

Welcome! I'm glad you found your way here, too!

Is there something you can discern that may have triggered this apparent relapse of symptoms?

[The Lady Voldemort]

SinfulGuillotine

The Lady Voldemort

It's interesting that I found this thread right now. I have Complex PTSD and I've been having panic attacks and flashbacks all day. An hour ago I dissociated and passed out for the first time in years. (The passing out part, not the dissociation.)

Anyway, I'm glad this place exists and it's nice to meet you! smile I wish you all health and well being.

Welcome! I'm glad you found your way here, too!

Is there something you can discern that may have triggered this apparent relapse of symptoms?

Thank you! Yeah, I'm home for spring break from college and my dad was initiating this really weird conversation with me. I'm already pretty uncomfortable in this house and in his presence considering he mentally and physically abused me for most of my life and brought me into a situation when I was younger where I had to deal with inappropriate/traumatizing behavior from a relative. So basically him as well as the stress of homework was just too much. I can't wait 'til I'm self sufficient enough to leave for real.

Anyway, thank you for your concern. Good to be here. smile

[SinfulGuillotine]

The Lady Voldemort

SinfulGuillotine

The Lady Voldemort

It's interesting that I found this thread right now. I have Complex PTSD and I've been having panic attacks and flashbacks all day. An hour ago I dissociated and passed out for the first time in years. (The passing out part, not the dissociation.)

Anyway, I'm glad this place exists and it's nice to meet you! smile I wish you all health and well being.

Welcome! I'm glad you found your way here, too!

Is there something you can discern that may have triggered this apparent relapse of symptoms?

Thank you! Yeah, I'm home for spring break from college and my dad was initiating this really weird conversation with me. I'm already pretty uncomfortable in this house and in his presence considering he mentally and physically abused me for most of my life and brought me into a situation when I was younger where I had to deal with inappropriate/traumatizing behavior from a relative. So basically him as well as the stress of homework was just too much. I can't wait 'til I'm self sufficient enough to leave for real.

Anyway, thank you for your concern. Good to be here. smile

Is this not something you could discuss with other family members (mother, siblings, etc. ) ? Is there a friend, or another relative or someone of that nature with whom you could possibly spend future school holidays?

It's really hard not to backslide considerably when you have to return to the home of your abuser every few months. I appreciate the complexity of the issue when the abuser is a family member (and specifically a parent), but I'd strongly suggest that you try to explore whatever other options may be available to you so that you don't have to return to such a triggering situation every time school is not in session. I realise that's often not an easy thing to do, but I think it's definitely worth thinking about. At some point in the somewhat distant future, you may want to try to reconcile with your father and/or have him in your life in some capacity, but it's usually best if that can be something that happens on your terms, when you feel like you're at a point in your recovery when you can handle that (and of course, that's assuming you want a future relationship with him at all, which may not be something you want, and that's fine too) .

[Satanic PandaCakes]

The Baphomet Is Speaking:
☠~✭~♫~✭ ~☠

i want to scream, cry, and do other things. ugh.
i hate this so ******** much.
i'm sick of these flashbacks and bad dreams. i'm so ******** tired now and i have to work 8 ******** hours doing at least 12 hours worth of work. >.<
kill me, please. i'm done. i'm sick of it. i've had my fill. i want the ******** man demon to just hug me, tell me it'll be okay, but NO, he's just being an insensitive a*****e and i'm made out to be a selfish b***h.
i'm allowed to be selfish, damn it. i'm a ******** satanist. it's what we ******** are.


~*☠~✭~♫~✭ ~☠*~
Ave!

[The_Spiciest_Mchaggis]

Satanic PandaCakes

The Baphomet Is Speaking:
☠~✭~♫~✭ ~☠

i want to scream, cry, and do other things. ugh.
i hate this so ******** much.
i'm sick of these flashbacks and bad dreams. i'm so ******** tired now and i have to work 8 ******** hours doing at least 12 hours worth of work. >.<
kill me, please. i'm done. i'm sick of it. i've had my fill. i want the ******** man demon to just hug me, tell me it'll be okay, but NO, he's just being an insensitive a*****e and i'm made out to be a selfish b***h.
i'm allowed to be selfish, damn it. i'm a ******** satanist. it's what we ******** are.


~*☠~✭~♫~✭ ~☠*~
Ave!

Hey, it's going to be okay. Not sleeping well was a major issue for me. Are you currently taking anything to help you relax/ sleep?

[MagicalPorpoise]

Satanic PandaCakes

The Baphomet Is Speaking:
☠~✭~♫~✭ ~☠

i want to scream, cry, and do other things. ugh.
i hate this so ******** much.
i'm sick of these flashbacks and bad dreams. i'm so ******** tired now and i have to work 8 ******** hours doing at least 12 hours worth of work. >.<
kill me, please. i'm done. i'm sick of it. i've had my fill. i want the ******** man demon to just hug me, tell me it'll be okay, but NO, he's just being an insensitive a*****e and i'm made out to be a selfish b***h.
i'm allowed to be selfish, damn it. i'm a ******** satanist. it's what we ******** are.


~*☠~✭~♫~✭ ~☠*~
Ave!

Why are you so upset? did something happen recently?

[The Lady Voldemort]

SinfulGuillotine

The Lady Voldemort

SinfulGuillotine

The Lady Voldemort

It's interesting that I found this thread right now. I have Complex PTSD and I've been having panic attacks and flashbacks all day. An hour ago I dissociated and passed out for the first time in years. (The passing out part, not the dissociation.)

Anyway, I'm glad this place exists and it's nice to meet you! smile I wish you all health and well being.

Welcome! I'm glad you found your way here, too!

Is there something you can discern that may have triggered this apparent relapse of symptoms?

Thank you! Yeah, I'm home for spring break from college and my dad was initiating this really weird conversation with me. I'm already pretty uncomfortable in this house and in his presence considering he mentally and physically abused me for most of my life and brought me into a situation when I was younger where I had to deal with inappropriate/traumatizing behavior from a relative. So basically him as well as the stress of homework was just too much. I can't wait 'til I'm self sufficient enough to leave for real.

Anyway, thank you for your concern. Good to be here. smile

Is this not something you could discuss with other family members (mother, siblings, etc. ) ? Is there a friend, or another relative or someone of that nature with whom you could possibly spend future school holidays?

It's really hard not to backslide considerably when you have to return to the home of your abuser every few months. I appreciate the complexity of the issue when the abuser is a family member (and specifically a parent), but I'd strongly suggest that you try to explore whatever other options may be available to you so that you don't have to return to such a triggering situation every time school is not in session. I realise that's often not an easy thing to do, but I think it's definitely worth thinking about. At some point in the somewhat distant future, you may want to try to reconcile with your father and/or have him in your life in some capacity, but it's usually best if that can be something that happens on your terms, when you feel like you're at a point in your recovery when you can handle that (and of course, that's assuming you want a future relationship with him at all, which may not be something you want, and that's fine too) .

I do have a relative I stay with for some long periods (summers, winter breaks, etc.) but that's across the country, so currently it's just not feasible for me to never come here. I also need to come here for doctor's appointments, and at this point I just have a part time job and am pretty much reliant on my parents for money. I do have relatives in the area, but no one who would let me stay here, or who I'd feel comfortable staying with. All of my relatives in this area are my dad's, and that whole side of the family was traumatized by THEIR parents and just never likes to talk about or acknowledge any of the hellish stuff that has been happening for generations. It doesn't help that my house is essentially on a backroad in the woods. I don't drive (something I really need to learn) so there isn't really any way to immediately leave the situation. There are other houses around, but I could walk for miles and get nowhere. So that kind of leads to a sense of "no escape."

Sorry, I rambled, but basically...yeah, ideally I would like to never have to see my father, but that day is a long ways off and they actually get angry if I don't come home often enough. I can't afford for that to happen. Thank you anyway, even just for listening. (Or reading.) heart

[The Lady Voldemort]

Satanic PandaCakes

The Baphomet Is Speaking:
☠~✭~♫~✭ ~☠

i want to scream, cry, and do other things. ugh.
i hate this so ******** much.
i'm sick of these flashbacks and bad dreams. i'm so ******** tired now and i have to work 8 ******** hours doing at least 12 hours worth of work. >.<
kill me, please. i'm done. i'm sick of it. i've had my fill. i want the ******** man demon to just hug me, tell me it'll be okay, but NO, he's just being an insensitive a*****e and i'm made out to be a selfish b***h.
i'm allowed to be selfish, damn it. i'm a ******** satanist. it's what we ******** are.


~*☠~✭~♫~✭ ~☠*~
Ave!

That ******** sucks...I'm really sorry. Night terrors and insomnia are just wretched, particularly when you have an incredibly busy day ahead of you. sad

[Petrograd]

SinfulGuillotine

Am I remembering correctly that you work as a substitute teacher, or did I just pull that out of my arse? Sorry, I haven't slept in 48 hours, so I'm having a little bit of trouble perceiving reality in the, in the strictest sense of the word.

EDIT: Okay, wow, yeah, totally missed the bold sentence. sweatdrop

Work is actually really good as of late, and Mr. Fancy Pants is indeed going to be our new manager, so that's cool. I like him so far, I think. Plus it's kind of nice to have another male working there. I don't mean that in a sexist way, it's just that prior him, there were only two other male employees besides myself: a counsellor, and the clinic medical doctor, who is only here three days a week. Every single other staff member (probably 20 or so in total) is female. Actually, the male counsellor is kind of new-ish (I think he's been here a little less than a year), so for most of the time I've worked here, I've been the only male employee besides the doctor.

I'd have no idea how to handle a bullying incident as a school authority figure. I've encountered very little actual bullying in my life. Well, in the broader sense of people-acting-like-assholes, I guess I have, but not more stereotypical, "traditional," school-related bullying. How are you supposed to handle that sort of stuff?

Hehe, no worries. I have been working as a substitute teacher, and it's been great fun.

I think it really helps me too. I'm usually paranoid of being attacked by others, but with the kids I feel safer. (I know they can bully, but I feel less threatened by them if they would... and they don't really - in fact they really seem to appreciate an adult being respectful with them.)

I'm moving up a little, starting a temp job as extra teacher on Monday. I'll follow a junior high school class that has had some difficulty recently. I think it'll go great!

I'll also finally be able to help teach math! Yay! I haven't had any math yet as sub teacher and it's bugged me xD Math was my best subject by quite a bit.

Gratz on Mr Fancy Pants! Always nice to have someone you like around, and I agree on the males. My previous substitute job had 13 people working there, plus maybe 4 substitutes, and only one other person there was male. (The boss was male too.) The lack of male interaction was kinda rough. It doesn't need to be 50/50, just... a little.

Men and women are obnoxious in different ways in work places, so it's nice when it's not too much of either gender. Too many women tends to lead to more drama and gossip, too many men and you'll hear sex jokes all day long *cringe*.

Bullying is tricky... I don't have a perfect plan. I reported a case to the principal, who directed it to the class' teacher. I wasn't impressed by the result though, they said they were 'working on it', but referred to the victim rather than the perpetrators.

I'm trying to identify instigators and followers, and focus on dissolving the instigators. It's not as bad as it sounds - they're instigating for a reason, either because they've been mistreated, or because they lack social skills to understand what they're doing. In the latter case I explain better ways to solve the situation. If they're being mistreated I try to listen to them really, to see if I can help. I haven't had enough time at any school to get far on that yet. I've done some of this on my nieces and nephews though, I've known them longer =P

How's life otherwise? Finding any interesting guys out there to hang with? =P Nice to be back at home I'm sure o.o

[Petrograd]

I'm back o.o

I've kinda been laying low lately. I had a temp job that didn't work for me, left me overworked @.@

Now I'm back to looking for work =P

How are you guys doing? smile

[Skypyro]

Oh this is nice and informative. ^_^

I did a senior high school final report on PTSD because I wanted to know more about it because my brother had just joined at that point.

Good to see this thread I think people need to know more about it..

[DollFacedPrincess]

I have been dealing with PTSD for a long, long time. Too many things have happened in my life to name all at once, and I just don't want to feel badly for letting some or the memories that still remain or are just now resurfacing, make me into a weak and overly emotional person. I keep getting told by those around me I just need to shut up and stop being so over dramatic or that other people have it worse than me or have had it worse than me and they turned out just fine. I'm confused as to why I cannot get over some of the events that have happened to me. I even sit here alone and question myself at times and wonder why it is that it still hurts me, all of it actually. Okay, it's like 'well you were only four when this happened' or 'you were just an eight year old', or 'stop being a baby about it, you're a woman now, grow up. No one can ever hurt you', or the classic 'well you were being ******** stupid and you asked for it'. Logically I know it cannot be all my fault for the things that traumatize me now, but I cannot talk to much of anyone about it because I feel sometimes as if I sound like a spoiled child and that's the last thing I wanna seem like. Bloody ******** hell.

[Satanic PandaCakes]

The Baphomet Is Speaking:
☠~✭~♫~✭ ~☠


i need a hug....
and a shot of something hard that'll dull these feelings.

man-demon cheated on me for 3 months, broke up with me, and kicked me out. i'm back with the family that abused me as a child. he said he hated that i had social anxiety and other things related to the ptsd.


~*☠~✭~♫~✭ ~☠*~
Ave!