Proper age for sex?

[Mitubati]

~What age do you think is okay to have sex?
I'd say 14+. For some older, depending on maturity.

~Is it okay to have sex due to pressure from the guy you're with?
No.

~Are you a virgin? If not, what was your first time like?
Boring, hurt a little. He basically just went in and out in a few seconds since it was his time, too.

[CapCrack]

It changes from culture to culture, but in my opinion, it's when you are:
1) physically developed
2) emotionally ready
3) committed to your partner legally, emotionally, spiritually, etc etc (Our culture might define this as married, but it also spans many other things)
4) A matureness to understand risks and a family plan if pregnancy does arise.
5) You do not live in your family's house, you do not have to hide or feel shame if your family knows you are sexually active.


It is not okay to be pressured into sex.
I am not a virgin, but I am now abstaining from sex until I am married to my husband. My first time was nerve-racking and awkward. Lost my virginity when I was 18, I'm now 22. I regret it.

[MiameMiame]

Who cares if you're old enough? If you are comfortable around him you can have sex whenever you want (unless you or your boyfriend are under the age of consent).

-16 generally.
-Ofcourse not!
-I was 16. It was awkward, very awkward xD. It was with my current boyfriend. No regrets whatsoever!

[Moidu]

You should have sex when you're mature enough. It's not ok to have sex because you're being pressured. You shouldn't feel forced to do it.

[dincaio iqoBN]

Well, I lost my virginity at 13 when I was in 8th grade. It was a party and we were huffing spray paint.

[Stone Field]

I lost my virginity to my ex last year; he pressured me into it; I didn't really want to. It hurt. A lot. I felt like I was being torn open - I consider it rape. I was 16, I was ready, but I wasn't ready at that exact time when it happened. If you aren't 100% ready, or you feel like you should keep it from your parents then you aren't emotionally ready for sex, believe me -- it's a big deal. Your relationship will never be the same again once you've crossed that bridge, and if you aren't fully ready it's not worth it.

The female body isn't ready for sex until 16 or so, having sex before then can lead to health problems.

Also, don't have sex because your partner wants to; have sex because it's something you to share together.

[Katsumi_Noir]

Judging by some of the threads I've seen on Gaia since I rejoined (not aimed at the OP) - never!

Joking aside, when you feel emotionally ready to deal with sex and it's repercussions.
The red flags went up the minute you said that it's mainly his idea and he keeps going on about it. That's not right and you shouldn't feeled pressured into having sex for his benefit.
If you have any doubts, then don't do it.

The legal age in the UK is 16, however it definitely depends on the person. You should be using birth control and condoms if you're having sex anyway, too many young people don't bother and end up with a squad of children by the time they're 18 that they can't financially support. (unless in a longterm, adult, stable relationship and trying for a child)

I lost my virginity a week after my 15th birthday with someone I did love at the time. It was both of our first times. It hurt and wasn't terribly great, but such is inexperience.

[Eveille]

when are you old enough?

when you can have sex with someone, break up later and MOVE ON! When your little world won't be shattered because it didnt work out and omg you gave your virginity and omg omg omg. When you aren't like that and you can handle sex and relationships like a person with a brain instead of a person with a computer program in there, then you are ready.

[Rennie`]

~What age do you think is okay to have sex?
What ever is the legal age of the country and when they are ready, there should not be a set age because the individual may not be ready or has been ready for years.

~Is it okay to have sex due to pressure from the guy you're with?
No no no no no no no no no aaaaaaaaand no! Both people should be ready.

~Are you a virgin? If not, what was your first time like?
Nope, I was forced into it at 15, took me a few years to get over that icky feeling of what was technically 'rape'. I understand why I did it but I wish I was strong enough to not have done it.

[THE ULTIMATE DOOM]

~What age do you think is okay to have sex?
17

~Is it okay to have sex due to pressure from the guy you're with?
No! what are you? some kinda retarded?

~Are you a virgin? If not, what was your first time like?
Yes I am. crying

[Bridgette Wolf]

~What age do you think is okay to have sex?
~Is it okay to have sex due to pressure from the guy you're with?
~Are you a virgin? If not, what was your first time like?

Firstly, its NOT okay to have sex because you're pressured into it. If he's pressuring you to do it in the first place when its obvious you don't feel ready, then there's a GOOD CHANCE its going to lead to sexual abuse later.

As for age appropriateness? Well, I'd better brace for the flamers and trolls to attack me because I think its best to wait until marriage to have sex.

[K-r-e-v-y-e-t-k-a]

advice
Even though motels aren't very expensive, if it's mostly something HE wants to do then HE should pay for it.

He should also be the one to pay for the condoms, but you should also research which brand is most effective and which size would be applicable for him. If the condom is too loose at the base, that could endanger you. If the condom is too tight, it could actually make him not be able to 'keep it up' and in worst case could break inside of you. >___> So that's also extremely important on your end, especially if he's a nub or doesn't seem to care about your safety.

If he refuses to wear a condom, wants you to pay for the motel (and potentially, the condoms if he were to agree), and has been dating you for only a month... Dump his a**, because you can do better.

age
I think waiting until legal age, 18, would be best for having sex. There's less questions asked, less stigma attached, and more freedom in the case that you live alone or just out of your parent's house.

pressure
A guy can only pressure you to have sex if you really dont want to. If you want to have sex, you would be the one actively asking or talking about it; you would also talk about how you want your first time to be with him (candles, flowers, dinner prior to it, etc) and you would be more open about planning it along with the protection involved (pills, condoms, spirals, etc). If you're not excited about it then you shouldn't have sex with the guy; it may not mean that you're "not ready to have sex" in general, it just means that the guy isn't the one you want it with.

first time
It was nice. Candle-lit ambiance and we cooked dinner together prior to it. It was raining outside so it sounded really romantic as well (thunder, candles, the sound of rain, etc).

[Sebastian Noir]

K-r-e-v-y-e-t-k-a

He should also be the one to pay for the condoms

Safe sex is EVERYONE'S responsibility.
While I do not deny that boys should c** come prepared, a sexually active girl has a personal responsibility to have all her bases covered; condoms, birth control, contraception, WHATEVER.

More importantly, there are plenty of straight boys that will try to get out of having to wear the thing because, I must admit, it makes the ride a bit of a bummer. All the more reason the girl should be on board to make sure he's not gonna try to fill her coose with the juice caboose, y'knowwhatahmsayin'?

My point, in short:
Yes, he's the one with the d**k, so he should pay for the condoms. But, conversely, HE'S the one with the d**k, so she should buy herself a stock, too.

[Hiizumi]

Around 18. But I really believe that 1 month is too short.

[felliscity]

I dont know if there is a specific age. I was dating a guy for three months, I was about 16/17 and he was a year younger then me. We only ever saw eachother at school so it wasn't really a serious relationship, but towards the end he always tried to pressure me into sex. I always said no because I felt I wasn't ready, and we eventually broke up and he was horrible to me afterwards. I'm glad I never said yes. He was an arsehole.

About a year later I got with a guy. I felt much more comfortable with him then I ever did with the last. Our relationship got pritty serious pritty fast, and he began asking for sex. He was abit of a player in highschool so i didn't want to be just another girl to him and he respected that. It took about 4 more months till I felt comfortable and ready to have sex with him. It took about 7 months all together.
It wasn't candle light and rose petals either, it was a quicky at 5 in the morning before he left for work. It hurt a fair bit, but he was gentle. And it hurt the next few times after that.

TL;DR:
Basically, don't do it if your having doubts. If he's not willing to wait for you and respect you about the situation, then he's not worth your time.