petite girl proplems

[Dustiest Gozongas]

I probably don't experience it as much as you because I'm a little taller (5'3" ), but I do get told that I look young quite often. It's flattering sometimes, but at work, it's actually very frustrating because no matter how well I do my job, I still get clients who make fun of me or don't take me seriously simply because of the way I look.

And the clientele are generally 30-50 year old homeless druggies/alcoholic/parolees so they definitely don't see me as much of an authority figure. I'm actually getting a little irritated thinking about this.

[Raven Winter]

mangachan

Raven Winter

You shouldn't base your confidence on what people think of you. People are fickle, and their opinions change. House on a foundation of sand, etc.

I disagree with this as what is going on in the OP can affect very important areas of life…most important areas of life actually. I'm 25 and can easily be mistaken for 16-19. This isn't a problem because I like looking youthful and it'll be a plus in the years to come. This isn't fool-proof but some things you can do to help:

- Speak and move in a confident manner. My older sister also looks young plus she's short and she has a very assertive type A personality so she doesn't get pushback a lot. My personality is more laid back than hers so it is an effort to avert this. You can still be yourself but when you are speaking to someone, project your voice in a clear assertive (but still respectful) manner. Don't use a lot of breaks in your sentences. Look people in the eye. Stand up straight as if you are just as powerful as the person you're talking to. I like to channel my inner Joan Crawford (watch her old movies to see what I mean), Hilary Clinton, or a powerful CEO like Meryl Streep's character in the Devil Wears Prada.

Even when I had a job at a call center and people did NOT take me seriously until I made an effort to be more assertive in my tone.



- DRESS and present yourself in a womanly fashion. Not slutty, super made-up, matronly or over the top. Take a bit more effort to make your appearance look put together. Like I said, this isn't full proof but when I traded in my bland style of old jeans and tees for flattering clothing, I saw a huge difference in reception. Girls slap on super cheap trendy clothing. Girls look like ragamuffins. WOMEN are classy and sophisticated.


- Make clear boundaries with people and be assertive when they are crossed. Children have things planned for them.. Children need to have people tell them what to do. Adults don't. For example, I'm doing work on a volunteer basis at my church and the other people I'm working with are significantly older. I am clear on what my scope for projects is. I am very direct of what I need for things and if things are asked of me that aren't within said scope, I redirect to the appropriate place. Some people have issues staying up late to work on things, I go to bed at 10 pm. After that, my phone is off. People do things to disrespect you, address it following appropriate channels. You have to train people that they can't treat you a certain way just cause reasons.

So, pretend I don't understand. You assert that a person should base their self-confidence on the opinions of others?

[Frantic Search]

Even if a person looks young, once I find out how old they are I see them as that age. They may look young, but it won't feel like they're young. Dunno... as long as they're confident I don't *not* take petite people seriously. Just bring an ID, since you're dressing your age you're golden.

I used to be hung over looking way too young for my age... but if you dress neatly, then it won't be in a negative way. And cute people are sexy, anyway.

[pinkuXneko-hime]

Protonig

Happens to me more often than not too. Not in the sense that I'm as short as you(although I do have a petite figure), but because I have a younger looking face.

I was walking to work one day and these two old ladies pulled their car over and asked if I needed a ride to school...after they told me I looked like a middle schooler or something going to school.

I know what you mean, it's not so much the fact that you get asked for your ID, it's the lack of respect people initially give you because of how young you appear. I deal with it by being somewhat stern when talking to people like that.

thank you for understanding me and i had a horrible experience in my senior year a week before my 18th birthday i was walking to my friend's house at 6:30 am and it was still dark a man in a van kept following me for three blocks telling me to get in the car with them because they could help me get to school. i was very scared because i didn't knew where to hide all the stores like walegreens and rite aid weren't opened. Lucky for me the man went away but one of my teachers made me report to the police because she believes that they were child predators and may have mistaken me as a kid, it was only then when i was more scared that i'm more vulnerable and anxious that it can happen again which it did in may of 2012. crying

[pinkuXneko-hime]

The Forbidden Soul

pinkuXneko-hime

The Forbidden Soul

Sounds like you can't do s**t about your appearances. I would stop worrying about the way you look and just be serious through my actions. Like for me at work people think I'm 30 even though I'm 20. I've had people tell me that it's not that I look thirty I just act thirty.

In short.

Actions >words

that's if they give you a chance. i'm about to turn 21 and i couldn't even take out books from my local library because the librarian told me that my library card is for adults and i kept telling her it's mine. it's things like that, that makes me get angry.

I guess you really look 12 then. Sorry but there's not that much you can do about it from what it sounds like. People literally cannot help but judge appearances. It's a double edged sword and you are unfortunately on the receiving end of the blade. :/

One last thought is when I was 18 people thought I was 12 so I started dressing really nice. Like... Super businesswoman nice. It seemed to help. But I might have placebod myself.

at college i am a senator and we often have meetings and we must dress business casual and often i still look young. i wish i could wear high heels i am a size 2.5 or 3 in shoes. and i get my shoes at the kids section and they don't have high heels for kids only small wedges. i wish i could wear shoes likes these

but in the end i get these

and the smallest size for women are a size 5 i know i can prolly buy some online but these are things where i have to be there to try them on feet.

[Saijuri]

pinkuXneko-hime

I get offended when i go to walk in of a restaurant or retail store when they have a help wanted sign. The FIRST thing they ask is "how old are you? You have to be atleast 16 (or 1 cool to work here."
Even in interviews where i try to dress "my age" the store managers don't believe my age and laugh it off by saying how young i look.

That makes me SO mad. In my state, it's illegal to ask someone how old they are in an interview. They are only allowed to say, in a non-discriminatory way, that you cannot work if you are under 18.

I really am just so flabbergasted right now because I am the same height as you and I look young as well, but people haven't given me that straight on kind of judgement.

[XVNekioVX]

Make up makes you look older. Wear the hell out of it. Most women want to look younger so embrace that you already look younger.
I'm shorter than you. Actions speak louder then words. I know it's frustrating, but eventually it will stop bothering you or actually stop. Either or both will happen and you won't even notice it until someone says something.
I'll be 26 in a few days. I know a lot of people/places that would not even want to believe I'm over 18.

[thewaitingtree]

I know that feeling. Gah. I get mistaken for 16. I'm 27.

I have a 24 yr old Korean friend, a male, who treats me like I'm his junior. Ugh. They're supposed to respect their seniors. >.<'

[mangachan]

Raven Winter

mangachan

Raven Winter

You shouldn't base your confidence on what people think of you. People are fickle, and their opinions change. House on a foundation of sand, etc.

I disagree with this as what is going on in the OP can affect very important areas of life…most important areas of life actually. I'm 25 and can easily be mistaken for 16-19. This isn't a problem because I like looking youthful and it'll be a plus in the years to come. This isn't fool-proof but some things you can do to help:

- Speak and move in a confident manner. My older sister also looks young plus she's short and she has a very assertive type A personality so she doesn't get pushback a lot. My personality is more laid back than hers so it is an effort to avert this. You can still be yourself but when you are speaking to someone, project your voice in a clear assertive (but still respectful) manner. Don't use a lot of breaks in your sentences. Look people in the eye. Stand up straight as if you are just as powerful as the person you're talking to. I like to channel my inner Joan Crawford (watch her old movies to see what I mean), Hilary Clinton, or a powerful CEO like Meryl Streep's character in the Devil Wears Prada.

Even when I had a job at a call center and people did NOT take me seriously until I made an effort to be more assertive in my tone.



- DRESS and present yourself in a womanly fashion. Not slutty, super made-up, matronly or over the top. Take a bit more effort to make your appearance look put together. Like I said, this isn't full proof but when I traded in my bland style of old jeans and tees for flattering clothing, I saw a huge difference in reception. Girls slap on super cheap trendy clothing. Girls look like ragamuffins. WOMEN are classy and sophisticated.


- Make clear boundaries with people and be assertive when they are crossed. Children have things planned for them.. Children need to have people tell them what to do. Adults don't. For example, I'm doing work on a volunteer basis at my church and the other people I'm working with are significantly older. I am clear on what my scope for projects is. I am very direct of what I need for things and if things are asked of me that aren't within said scope, I redirect to the appropriate place. Some people have issues staying up late to work on things, I go to bed at 10 pm. After that, my phone is off. People do things to disrespect you, address it following appropriate channels. You have to train people that they can't treat you a certain way just cause reasons.

So, pretend I don't understand. You assert that a person should base their self-confidence on the opinions of others?

No. Having a young appearance is great and should be appreciated. However, when it gets to the point were people are thinking you are literally a child and disrespect you on that basis that's an issue. We should all be confident but we can't be oblivious take for granted that others' perceptions won't affect us.

[Raven Winter]

mangachan

Raven Winter

mangachan

Raven Winter

You shouldn't base your confidence on what people think of you. People are fickle, and their opinions change. House on a foundation of sand, etc.

I disagree with this as what is going on in the OP can affect very important areas of life…most important areas of life actually. I'm 25 and can easily be mistaken for 16-19. This isn't a problem because I like looking youthful and it'll be a plus in the years to come. This isn't fool-proof but some things you can do to help:

- Speak and move in a confident manner. My older sister also looks young plus she's short and she has a very assertive type A personality so she doesn't get pushback a lot. My personality is more laid back than hers so it is an effort to avert this. You can still be yourself but when you are speaking to someone, project your voice in a clear assertive (but still respectful) manner. Don't use a lot of breaks in your sentences. Look people in the eye. Stand up straight as if you are just as powerful as the person you're talking to. I like to channel my inner Joan Crawford (watch her old movies to see what I mean), Hilary Clinton, or a powerful CEO like Meryl Streep's character in the Devil Wears Prada.

Even when I had a job at a call center and people did NOT take me seriously until I made an effort to be more assertive in my tone.



- DRESS and present yourself in a womanly fashion. Not slutty, super made-up, matronly or over the top. Take a bit more effort to make your appearance look put together. Like I said, this isn't full proof but when I traded in my bland style of old jeans and tees for flattering clothing, I saw a huge difference in reception. Girls slap on super cheap trendy clothing. Girls look like ragamuffins. WOMEN are classy and sophisticated.


- Make clear boundaries with people and be assertive when they are crossed. Children have things planned for them.. Children need to have people tell them what to do. Adults don't. For example, I'm doing work on a volunteer basis at my church and the other people I'm working with are significantly older. I am clear on what my scope for projects is. I am very direct of what I need for things and if things are asked of me that aren't within said scope, I redirect to the appropriate place. Some people have issues staying up late to work on things, I go to bed at 10 pm. After that, my phone is off. People do things to disrespect you, address it following appropriate channels. You have to train people that they can't treat you a certain way just cause reasons.

So, pretend I don't understand. You assert that a person should base their self-confidence on the opinions of others?

No. Having a young appearance is great and should be appreciated. However, when it gets to the point were people are thinking you are literally a child and disrespect you on that basis that's an issue. We should all be confident but we can't be oblivious take for granted that others' perceptions won't affect us.

Oh, naturally. The world is a place not of laws but of people, and those people's opinions about you make a tangible difference in the way you experience the world. All I mean to say is that if people disrespect and belittle you, you shouldn't take it to heart or let it lessen the value you place on yourself. I'm not saying don't do anything to mitigate it if you want -- just don't feel bad about it.

[Abyssus _Puella]

I'm petit, 5'2" and just over 100lbs...plus I have a young face.
I bring my ID with me all the time after I went gambling and got carded 3 times at the same blackjack table within an hour...they made me wear a wristband. emo

[pinkuXneko-hime]

Raven Winter

mangachan

Raven Winter

mangachan

Raven Winter

You shouldn't base your confidence on what people think of you. People are fickle, and their opinions change. House on a foundation of sand, etc.

I disagree with this as what is going on in the OP can affect very important areas of life…most important areas of life actually. I'm 25 and can easily be mistaken for 16-19. This isn't a problem because I like looking youthful and it'll be a plus in the years to come. This isn't fool-proof but some things you can do to help:

- Speak and move in a confident manner. My older sister also looks young plus she's short and she has a very assertive type A personality so she doesn't get pushback a lot. My personality is more laid back than hers so it is an effort to avert this. You can still be yourself but when you are speaking to someone, project your voice in a clear assertive (but still respectful) manner. Don't use a lot of breaks in your sentences. Look people in the eye. Stand up straight as if you are just as powerful as the person you're talking to. I like to channel my inner Joan Crawford (watch her old movies to see what I mean), Hilary Clinton, or a powerful CEO like Meryl Streep's character in the Devil Wears Prada.

Even when I had a job at a call center and people did NOT take me seriously until I made an effort to be more assertive in my tone.



- DRESS and present yourself in a womanly fashion. Not slutty, super made-up, matronly or over the top. Take a bit more effort to make your appearance look put together. Like I said, this isn't full proof but when I traded in my bland style of old jeans and tees for flattering clothing, I saw a huge difference in reception. Girls slap on super cheap trendy clothing. Girls look like ragamuffins. WOMEN are classy and sophisticated.


- Make clear boundaries with people and be assertive when they are crossed. Children have things planned for them.. Children need to have people tell them what to do. Adults don't. For example, I'm doing work on a volunteer basis at my church and the other people I'm working with are significantly older. I am clear on what my scope for projects is. I am very direct of what I need for things and if things are asked of me that aren't within said scope, I redirect to the appropriate place. Some people have issues staying up late to work on things, I go to bed at 10 pm. After that, my phone is off. People do things to disrespect you, address it following appropriate channels. You have to train people that they can't treat you a certain way just cause reasons.

So, pretend I don't understand. You assert that a person should base their self-confidence on the opinions of others?

No. Having a young appearance is great and should be appreciated. However, when it gets to the point were people are thinking you are literally a child and disrespect you on that basis that's an issue. We should all be confident but we can't be oblivious take for granted that others' perceptions won't affect us.

Oh, naturally. The world is a place not of laws but of people, and those people's opinions about you make a tangible difference in the way you experience the world. All I mean to say is that if people disrespect and belittle you, you shouldn't take it to heart or let it lessen the value you place on yourself. I'm not saying don't do anything to mitigate it if you want -- just don't feel bad about it.

it get annoying and it bothers me because i'm about to be 21 and i want to go out with my friends but they don't get their ID checked because they look like their age although people tell me to appreciate it because when i'll get old i'll look young but i don't get mistaken as 17 or 16 i get 14/15 yrs old. >.> and with my height 4 ft and 11inches and my flat chest i look like a teenager. it's hard when you have to run meetings and meet people at work and they don't take you srly. sweatdrop

[Protonig]

pinkuXneko-hime

Protonig

Happens to me more often than not too. Not in the sense that I'm as short as you(although I do have a petite figure), but because I have a younger looking face.

I was walking to work one day and these two old ladies pulled their car over and asked if I needed a ride to school...after they told me I looked like a middle schooler or something going to school.

I know what you mean, it's not so much the fact that you get asked for your ID, it's the lack of respect people initially give you because of how young you appear. I deal with it by being somewhat stern when talking to people like that.

thank you for understanding me and i had a horrible experience in my senior year a week before my 18th birthday i was walking to my friend's house at 6:30 am and it was still dark a man in a van kept following me for three blocks telling me to get in the car with them because they could help me get to school. i was very scared because i didn't knew where to hide all the stores like walegreens and rite aid weren't opened. Lucky for me the man went away but one of my teachers made me report to the police because she believes that they were child predators and may have mistaken me as a kid, it was only then when i was more scared that i'm more vulnerable and anxious that it can happen again which it did in may of 2012. crying

Yeah...situations like that are what make me walk around armed with two hidden knives...understandable in the fact that you couldn't arm yourself considering you were going to school.

[Raven Winter]

pinkuXneko-hime

Protonig

Happens to me more often than not too. Not in the sense that I'm as short as you(although I do have a petite figure), but because I have a younger looking face.

I was walking to work one day and these two old ladies pulled their car over and asked if I needed a ride to school...after they told me I looked like a middle schooler or something going to school.

I know what you mean, it's not so much the fact that you get asked for your ID, it's the lack of respect people initially give you because of how young you appear. I deal with it by being somewhat stern when talking to people like that.

thank you for understanding me and i had a horrible experience in my senior year a week before my 18th birthday i was walking to my friend's house at 6:30 am and it was still dark a man in a van kept following me for three blocks telling me to get in the car with them because they could help me get to school. i was very scared because i didn't knew where to hide all the stores like walegreens and rite aid weren't opened. Lucky for me the man went away but one of my teachers made me report to the police because she believes that they were child predators and may have mistaken me as a kid, it was only then when i was more scared that i'm more vulnerable and anxious that it can happen again which it did in may of 2012. crying

If you're worried, take up martial arts.