Oh, I'm not interested in you.

[Erholung]

MemoriesOfGreen

Professor Alcoholic

You three hens nattering on and what you're saying is exactly the problem between men and women.

It's something that I and many others have heard women vocally complain about the lack of, and here you are, discussing that exact eventuality, and deciding it shouldn't be. I expect to never hear any of you three complain about skeevy men looking to take advantage of you, if this is how you react when they don't.

There's a difference between a skeevy guy looking to take advantage of us and a guy we're interested in sending mixed signals.

Except he wasn't sending mixed signals. He wasn't sending anything at all, she just assumed. So . . . neutral

[Mae Lovelyn]

Erholung

MemoriesOfGreen

Professor Alcoholic

You three hens nattering on and what you're saying is exactly the problem between men and women.

It's something that I and many others have heard women vocally complain about the lack of, and here you are, discussing that exact eventuality, and deciding it shouldn't be. I expect to never hear any of you three complain about skeevy men looking to take advantage of you, if this is how you react when they don't.

There's a difference between a skeevy guy looking to take advantage of us and a guy we're interested in sending mixed signals.

Except he wasn't sending mixed signals. He wasn't sending anything at all, she just assumed. So . . . neutral

This also has me stumped as well. neutral

[twinkle snow powdery snow]

MemoriesOfGreen

You don't get it. He clearly was spending time with her more than any male friend of mine or my female friend's male friend has spent with them. That's the kind of attention (including when the OP's guy kept talking about her and giving her a lot of attention) that someone who's interested gives. You can't monopolize a girl's day like that and then say "Oh you pay for your meal" or "No, I'm not interested". Go get a different friend if you're gonna lead someone on like that.

Also, unlike the OP, I'm not referring to the "why won't you ******** me" thing. I do agree she is kind of ridiculous thinking that a few dates will get her laid. What I don't like, however, is a guy wasting a girl's time to spend the day together and then take her out to dinner and then drop the separate checks bomb.

To note, I'm not actually upset he didn't want to ******** me right then and there. My point was more the premise of dating or being interested in someone is sexual. That is, unless you're asexual, dating a person has no purpose without intimacy ******** them, since you can get everything else outside of dating.

It was less a "he doesn't want to ******** me right this second, wow." and more " he doesn't see me as sexual, wow " .

[Mae Lovelyn]

MemoriesOfGreen

Professor Alcoholic

MemoriesOfGreen

Professor Alcoholic

You three hens nattering on and what you're saying is exactly the problem between men and women.

It's something that I and many others have heard women vocally complain about the lack of, and here you are, discussing that exact eventuality, and deciding it shouldn't be. I expect to never hear any of you three complain about skeevy men looking to take advantage of you, if this is how you react when they don't.

There's a difference between a skeevy guy looking to take advantage of us and a guy we're interested in sending mixed signals.

There's also a difference between being upset that a friend won't ******** you, and being upset that someone does want to. If you three are going to act surprised and confused when a friend of yours, a male, won't jump at the subtlest chance to ******** you silly, and would indeed ascribe such behaviour (i.e not trying to take advantage of a drunk, as many hens seem to cluck on about as of late) as abnormal, or that of a gay, in a time where gay people will generally not hide themselves, least of all from a woman who isn't their angry or disapproving mother, then as far as I'm concerned you effectively waive away any position of moral superiority over that pervy man who gives you the lustful eye that you suspect is just waiting, hungry, for you to so much as hint that you're horny, before enacting his "get laid" plan, which may itself not be anything untoward, just opportunistic.

You're no better than he, says I.

You don't get it. He clearly was spending time with her more than any male friend of mine or my female friend's male friend has spent with them. That's the kind of attention (including when the OP's guy kept talking about her and giving her a lot of attention) that someone who's interested gives. You can't monopolize a girl's day like that and then say "Oh you pay for your meal" or "No, I'm not interested". Go get a different friend if you're gonna lead someone on like that.

Also, unlike the OP, I'm not referring to the "why won't you ******** me" thing. I do agree she is kind of ridiculous thinking that a few dates will get her laid. What I don't like, however, is a guy wasting a girl's time to spend the day together and then take her out to dinner and then drop the separate checks bomb.

I don't understand how this counts as leading someone on! gonk
Friends who spend time with each other is not a foreign concept! Why is it expected of him for the whole situation to be put in a "date" setting when he just wants to honestly spend time with her as a friend?

[MemoriesOfGreen]

twinkle snow powdery snow

MemoriesOfGreen

You don't get it. He clearly was spending time with her more than any male friend of mine or my female friend's male friend has spent with them. That's the kind of attention (including when the OP's guy kept talking about her and giving her a lot of attention) that someone who's interested gives. You can't monopolize a girl's day like that and then say "Oh you pay for your meal" or "No, I'm not interested". Go get a different friend if you're gonna lead someone on like that.

Also, unlike the OP, I'm not referring to the "why won't you ******** me" thing. I do agree she is kind of ridiculous thinking that a few dates will get her laid. What I don't like, however, is a guy wasting a girl's time to spend the day together and then take her out to dinner and then drop the separate checks bomb.

To note, I'm not actually upset he didn't want to ******** me right then and there. My point was more the premise of dating or being interested in someone is sexual. That is, unless you're asexual, dating a person has no purpose without intimacy ******** them, since you can get everything else outside of dating.

It was less a "he doesn't want to ******** me right this second, wow." and more " he doesn't see me as sexual, wow " .

Ah, I see. So like, you were surprised he wasn't attracted to you in that way because of all the attention he was giving you. Unlike some of the naive boogers in this forum, I really do think he was giving mixed signals.

[Mae Lovelyn]

Professor Alcoholic

Mae Lovelyn

MemoriesOfGreen

Professor Alcoholic

MemoriesOfGreen

Professor Alcoholic

You three hens nattering on and what you're saying is exactly the problem between men and women.

It's something that I and many others have heard women vocally complain about the lack of, and here you are, discussing that exact eventuality, and deciding it shouldn't be. I expect to never hear any of you three complain about skeevy men looking to take advantage of you, if this is how you react when they don't.

There's a difference between a skeevy guy looking to take advantage of us and a guy we're interested in sending mixed signals.

There's also a difference between being upset that a friend won't ******** you, and being upset that someone does want to. If you three are going to act surprised and confused when a friend of yours, a male, won't jump at the subtlest chance to ******** you silly, and would indeed ascribe such behaviour (i.e not trying to take advantage of a drunk, as many hens seem to cluck on about as of late) as abnormal, or that of a gay, in a time where gay people will generally not hide themselves, least of all from a woman who isn't their angry or disapproving mother, then as far as I'm concerned you effectively waive away any position of moral superiority over that pervy man who gives you the lustful eye that you suspect is just waiting, hungry, for you to so much as hint that you're horny, before enacting his "get laid" plan, which may itself not be anything untoward, just opportunistic.

You're no better than he, says I.

You don't get it. He clearly was spending time with her more than any male friend of mine or my female friend's male friend has spent with them. That's the kind of attention (including when the OP's guy kept talking about her and giving her a lot of attention) that someone who's interested gives. You can't monopolize a girl's day like that and then say "Oh you pay for your meal" or "No, I'm not interested". Go get a different friend if you're gonna lead someone on like that.

Also, unlike the OP, I'm not referring to the "why won't you ******** me" thing. I do agree she is kind of ridiculous thinking that a few dates will get her laid. What I don't like, however, is a guy wasting a girl's time to spend the day together and then take her out to dinner and then drop the separate checks bomb.

I don't understand how this counts as leading someone on! gonk
Friends who spend time with each other is not a foreign concept! Why is it expected of him for the whole situation to be put in a "date" setting when he just wants to honestly spend time with her as a friend?

Y'know by that merit I have this buddy I've known since we were both like 5 years old. He was dirt poor at the time and I was a spoiled kid, so I always split my weekend allowance with him, paid for his meals when we went hangin' out, boppin round the streets etc.

He should be upset that I never came onto him. He should be making the complaint that I wasted his time and monopolized his day, right? I mean, I paid for his meals I spent whole days with him and hell, since we were both little boys we'd wrestle, so there was a lotta physical contact, hugging and the like.

Come to think it makes a little sense now that the local 16 yearold called us gaylords.
Whatever.
Point is, he should go out, buy a fedora (The hat everyone refers to is actually a trilby, anyway) and complain about me wasting his time.

I mean, the logic checks out man. Clearly I went above and beyond the call of friend. I was leading him on.

My god...this must mean I have a trail of broken-hearted possible ******** buddies behind me whose time I must have wasted.

[Erholung]

Professor Alcoholic

Considering you dare to actually identify the concept of your time being wasted when the day results in a lack of sexual advances, I expect to never hear any of you cunts complain about the Nice Guy problem ever again, so long as you insist on having the exact same complaint.

The ******** nerve of these self-important wenches.

You are awesome. heart

[fdsfsfdfshhghjfrtrtwqwe]

not really. i like to think i have a 6th sense when it comes to guys having a thing for me.
although i never can tell when it's a guy im interested in.

[My Little Spider Friend]

Have you ever seriously misread a situation involving the opposite sex?
Honestly, from what I can think of right now, no. Maybe when I was younger probably, but most of the time I'm really good at telling.

Ever have someone think you were flirting with them when they weren't?
Perhaps, I'm generally a very friendly person, and people can interpret anything in many different ways.

Girls, how much male attention/friendship do you get with no expectation or desire for sex tied to it?
Well, I do have many guy friends, I prefer it that way. I generally can't relate to girls much, I have more similar interests with males than females. I don't expect anything sexual, just would like a friend who I can talk to rather than sit in a group of girls who I can't relate with.

Is it normal for two attractive people of the opposite sex to be friends without any sexual chemistry going on?
Of course, I don't see why not. Two attractive people could be friends, but would mutually agree that if a relationship ever occurred, they have no real chemistry going on for it to actually work out.

How can a girl just be friends with a guy? Unfortunately for me I've never met a guy where sex wasn't the primary engine for the relationship. So either I was interested and it happened, or I wasn't and it ended there because it would be too weird. I've never had a real guy friend.
In the cafeteria I'm the only one at our table. We mainly play cards, talk about video games or anime, or just mess around. I'm just friends with all of these guys, and although one of them is my ex boyfriend, there's no more chemistry between us and our feelings for each other just drifted away. Sure it can be awkward sometimes with him, but we don't hang out unless someone else is there. I have two best friends that are guys, I can tell them literally anything. It all depends on the person. Like I said before, I can relate more with guys than girls. I used to hang out with a group of girls and I felt excluded. With guys, no, I'm not the centre of attention. I can just be able to express who I am with them without dirty looks like "wtf is she talking about?"

How many friends of the opposite sex do you have that you aren't sexually interested in, and aren't sexually interested in you?
I have way too many to count. Best friends I have 2, school friends I have well over 30, and online friends probably well over 20.


☯

[Foxydoe]

Oliva the Bootstrapper

not really. i like to think i have a 6th sense when it comes to guys having a thing for me.
although i never can tell when it's a guy im interested in.

Right? It's like, showing interest in & of itself makes them waffle emotion_donotwant

[fdsfsfdfshhghjfrtrtwqwe]

Foxydoe

Oliva the Bootstrapper

not really. i like to think i have a 6th sense when it comes to guys having a thing for me.
although i never can tell when it's a guy im interested in.

Right? It's like, showing interest in & of itself makes them waffle emotion_donotwant

lol they're shielded from my magical powers
then i get someone to help me and talk it through logically. im working up the balls to just be able to ask people.