A POLL! "Lick My Boots!" BDSM: The Passion, The Lifestyle

Pick your poison.

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Total Votes:			[ 2700 ]

[Rrrumpleteazer]

Marquessa_De_Sade

Hmmm....I see tension will be a reoccurring theme now.....


gillian....have I said lately how lovely you are? A good many could take lessons from you.



I am going to have a tea...a nice, relaxing tea before my nature rears its head and I post something scandalous.

If I could be like gillian I would but... I am a switch, my Domme side, which albeit is rare, just won't allow me to submit as fully as she has to Darius. For some odd reason I cannot see your posts on Harley so I got on this account >_>.

As for the t**t who has rubbed people the wrong way and throws a tantrum when they point it out, at least I don't have to read her ignorant bullshit on my main account anymore.

[Marquessa_De_SadeFW]

Rrrumpleteazer

Marquessa_De_Sade

Hmmm....I see tension will be a reoccurring theme now.....


gillian....have I said lately how lovely you are? A good many could take lessons from you.



I am going to have a tea...a nice, relaxing tea before my nature rears its head and I post something scandalous.

If I could be like gillian I would but... I am a switch, my Domme side, which albeit is rare, just won't allow me to submit as fully as she has to Darius. For some odd reason I cannot see your posts on Harley so I got on this account >_>.

As for the t**t who has rubbed people the wrong way and throws a tantrum when they point it out, at least I don't have to read her ignorant bullshit on my main account anymore.

Heh, I wish I had her grace as well.

[bannnned4eva]

to avoid tensions...all around, I'll stay away from this thread from now on.I think it's for the best.

[Master Darius Gevaldi]

SDPlus von CT

Master Darius Gevaldi

SDPlus von CT

Red Geranium__

Chieftain Twilight

Red Geranium__

Hello everyone; I recently got invited to a bit of a play party. I'm monogamous and long distance with my partner at the moment, I'm interested in going and my partner is urging me to go (if i can). But the question I have is this, I don't know if I should be going- everyone is much older than me already (at least a good decade or more), would I be able to fit in? I feel a little on the odd side because I'm gonna be one of the only monogamous people there and I'm so young/inexperienced. Would it still be a good idea to go to the party? What are some good things to ask other experienced people at the party? c:

I've never liked being pressured into anything, and have a habit of doing the opposite of what I'm urged to do out of spiteful rebellion.

that said, if you do decide to go, I would caution against doing so alone. especially if you are new or don''t know anyone there. bring a friend along, if you can, or don't go at all.

if you still go, be ready to fend off threats, coercion, manipulation, sleeze of any kind. my favourite tactic is to threaten to call the cops.

but I'm being a debbie downer. there is still a chance that it can be safe and fun. but the risks are always present, and going alone is never a good idea.

I don't feel all that pressured to go, I think it would be interesting but I just honestly don't think being around people ~20 years older than me is very conducive to learning more kinky stuff. I think you're right on the risks of going alone while I'm so inexperienced/young.

My friend is really sweet and her heart's in a good place but I think I'm gonna wait til her friend's dungeon opens so me and my partner can see the different happenings together. You aren't being a debbie downer I honestly wasn't thinking about the risks all the much. sweatdrop

Do you have any experience with parties hosted at people's homes vs. dungeons/clubs? It just sounds like the parties hosted at residential homes can get a little...dangerous from what my friend told me because she was with her Sir and still had people constantly trying to dom/control her even when he was around?

I know exactly the answer you need:
don't go.
smile
nothing good will come out of it.

Nothing good will come of her being around others like minded people in a small, intimate setting instead of in a large club surrounded by possibly hundreds of strangers?

Oh, dear girl, you have so much to learn about the lifestyle.

Please see my post to her for reference, I do not feel like repeating myself.

gahahaha
I'm not your dear girl.
autoasphyxiation FUD? lol. I think LONE SUB RAPE AND ABUSE is the real danger here. or have you been in the "lifestyle" so long that's not a problem?
no one has anything to learn from pompous self-important teachers. I have a lot to learn about a lot of things but so do you if you think crassly undermining statements will inspire learning.
play party = f*party
friends aren't always friends. sometimes FRIENDS abuse you.
you wrote fifty pages of text
she was clearly hesitant but already made up her mind, she just needed a push
even as a submissive I could see that
geesh
if you recommend a lone female sub to go alone to a play party at a private home under any circumstances then I don't know what to say. lol
I was being helpful! to her, not to you! she should go with her owner whenever that's possible.but not alone.never alone.unless you want to take the risk. but wasn't bdsm all about "safety"? or does rape not count?
(can you tell I really loathe the community for its attitudes despite my own pretty liberal definition of rape?)

You clearly have never been to a play party if you think that all it is is a free for all orgy.

She wasn't going alone. She was invited to go with friends, so did you deliberately overlook that part? I took time to cool off before returning to Gaia to respond to you, because had I responded right away, I am quite sure the things I said would have been extremely unkind.

Stating nothing good, at all, would come of her attending a gathering with friends is not helpful. It is implying that being with her friends is dangerous to her health. it implies that the community as a whole is filled with predators waiting to pounce on unsuspecting submissives. It perpetuates the stereotype that non-kinksters have of BDSM and those who participate in it.


I read your post about your former partner, I refuse to call him a master because he does not deserve such a title. Had you been Gorean he would have been among the ones that many of us are trying to weed out of Gor because he did not treat you with respect, he did not treat you like a treasures possession. You were a thing, an object, something to throw away when he was done with you. That is evident by the fact he did not even respect you enough to give you a name. You come across as someone fairly young, so I am wondering if he took a naive, barely adult female, and used you and warped you, and as a result you have a very twisted view of the world and especially of BDSM.

Edited due to Chieftain's comment.

[Master Darius Gevaldi]

SDPlus von CT

.there are good ones I'm sure but you already know that's...probably not even most communities.

Pardon? You think that MOST BDSM communities are filled with abuse? This shows just how little you know of BDSM. this shows that most of your 'experience' comes from listening to stereotypes by those who are not part of the community. In all my years as a lifestyler, I have lived in several different states and cities, and MOST BDSM communities ostracize those who are abusive. MOST are 'good' as you put it. You need to get some real world experience, girl, instead of making baseless claims about BDSM and kinksters in general.

[bannnned4eva]

Master Darius Gevaldi

SDPlus von CT

Master Darius Gevaldi

SDPlus von CT

Red Geranium__

I don't feel all that pressured to go, I think it would be interesting but I just honestly don't think being around people ~20 years older than me is very conducive to learning more kinky stuff. I think you're right on the risks of going alone while I'm so inexperienced/young.

My friend is really sweet and her heart's in a good place but I think I'm gonna wait til her friend's dungeon opens so me and my partner can see the different happenings together. You aren't being a debbie downer I honestly wasn't thinking about the risks all the much. sweatdrop

Do you have any experience with parties hosted at people's homes vs. dungeons/clubs? It just sounds like the parties hosted at residential homes can get a little...dangerous from what my friend told me because she was with her Sir and still had people constantly trying to dom/control her even when he was around?

I know exactly the answer you need:
don't go.
smile
nothing good will come out of it.

Nothing good will come of her being around others like minded people in a small, intimate setting instead of in a large club surrounded by possibly hundreds of strangers?

Oh, dear girl, you have so much to learn about the lifestyle.

Please see my post to her for reference, I do not feel like repeating myself.

gahahaha
I'm not your dear girl.
autoasphyxiation FUD? lol. I think LONE SUB RAPE AND ABUSE is the real danger here. or have you been in the "lifestyle" so long that's not a problem?
no one has anything to learn from pompous self-important teachers. I have a lot to learn about a lot of things but so do you if you think crassly undermining statements will inspire learning.
play party = f*party
friends aren't always friends. sometimes FRIENDS abuse you.
you wrote fifty pages of text
she was clearly hesitant but already made up her mind, she just needed a push
even as a submissive I could see that
geesh
if you recommend a lone female sub to go alone to a play party at a private home under any circumstances then I don't know what to say. lol
I was being helpful! to her, not to you! she should go with her owner whenever that's possible.but not alone.never alone.unless you want to take the risk. but wasn't bdsm all about "safety"? or does rape not count?
(can you tell I really loathe the community for its attitudes despite my own pretty liberal definition of rape?)

Girl, you need to be taught some manners. You are all that is wrong with a submissive who has not been properly trained. You are rude, disrespectful, and need a good bit of punishment for your poor behavior.

You clearly have never been to a play party if you think that all it is is a free for all orgy.

She wasn't going alone. She was invited to go with friends, so did you deliberately overlook that part? I took time to cool off before returning to Gaia to respond to you, because had I responded right away, I am quite sure the things I said would have been extremely unkind.

Stating nothing good, at all, would come of her attending a gathering with friends is not helpful. It is implying that being with her friends is dangerous to her health. it implies that the community as a whole is filled with predators waiting to pounce on unsuspecting submissives. It perpetuates the stereotype that non-kinksters have of BDSM and those who participate in it.


I read your post about your former partner, I refuse to call him a master because he does not deserve such a title. Had you been Gorean he would have been among the ones that many of us are trying to weed out of Gor because he did not treat you with respect, he did not treat you like a treasures possession. You were a thing, an object, something to throw away when he was done with you. That is evident by the fact he did not even respect you enough to give you a name. You come across as someone fairly young, so I am wondering if he took a naive, barely adult female, and used you and warped you, and as a result you have a very twisted view of the world and especially of BDSM.

I apologize again for my extremely rude message to you.
I respectfully add that you didn't know him and whatever amount I can write in one thread is not enough to.paint a rounded and fair picture of the years I was with him.it want perfect but it also wasn't quitewhat you all try to paint it to have been.and it wasn't my first (or second, or third) bdsm relationship.yes, of course I started underage.please don't even go there
abuse is psychological and not dependent on legal definitions.
other than that, please see above. I will stay out from now on.it's best for everyone,I believe.

[Master Darius Gevaldi]

Chieftain Twilight

Master Darius Gevaldi

SDPlus von CT

Red Geranium__

Chieftain Twilight

Red Geranium__

Hello everyone; I recently got invited to a bit of a play party. I'm monogamous and long distance with my partner at the moment, I'm interested in going and my partner is urging me to go (if i can). But the question I have is this, I don't know if I should be going- everyone is much older than me already (at least a good decade or more), would I be able to fit in? I feel a little on the odd side because I'm gonna be one of the only monogamous people there and I'm so young/inexperienced. Would it still be a good idea to go to the party? What are some good things to ask other experienced people at the party? c:

I've never liked being pressured into anything, and have a habit of doing the opposite of what I'm urged to do out of spiteful rebellion.

that said, if you do decide to go, I would caution against doing so alone. especially if you are new or don''t know anyone there. bring a friend along, if you can, or don't go at all.

if you still go, be ready to fend off threats, coercion, manipulation, sleeze of any kind. my favourite tactic is to threaten to call the cops.

but I'm being a debbie downer. there is still a chance that it can be safe and fun. but the risks are always present, and going alone is never a good idea.

I don't feel all that pressured to go, I think it would be interesting but I just honestly don't think being around people ~20 years older than me is very conducive to learning more kinky stuff. I think you're right on the risks of going alone while I'm so inexperienced/young.

My friend is really sweet and her heart's in a good place but I think I'm gonna wait til her friend's dungeon opens so me and my partner can see the different happenings together. You aren't being a debbie downer I honestly wasn't thinking about the risks all the much. sweatdrop

Do you have any experience with parties hosted at people's homes vs. dungeons/clubs? It just sounds like the parties hosted at residential homes can get a little...dangerous from what my friend told me because she was with her Sir and still had people constantly trying to dom/control her even when he was around?

I know exactly the answer you need:
don't go.
smile
nothing good will come out of it.

Nothing good will come of her being around others like minded people in a small, intimate setting instead of in a large club surrounded by possibly hundreds of strangers?

Oh, dear girl, you have so much to learn about the lifestyle.

Please see my post to her for reference, I do not feel like repeating myself.

Darius, I ask that you try not to be so condescending to her over an opinion. she hasn't said anything harmful, and I feel you are reading more into what she said than is actually present.

I don't entirely agree that nothing good can come of going, either, but I certainly expressed concerns with going, and I think that it's a fair opinion that going to an event with a bunch of strangers is not a particularly good idea. but I'm mainly concerned with her going alone. SD has a point, that it's not exactly safe to go to these sorts of events.

you say "small, intimate setting with like minded individuals", and you compare it to a large club of strangers. but the way I see it, there is not that much of a distinction.

What condescension? It does not exist in my post. If she thinks going to a gathering of like-minded people means nothing good would come of the gathering then she has a lot to learn.


Sometimes being in a smaller group is more comfortable and makes it easier to open up about one's likes, dislikes, and desires. It can sometimes help one to see that there are other 'real people' who like the same things, especially if their upbringing has led them to think there's something wrong with them for say liking to be whipped. When you talk to others it becomes real, its no longer an abstract idea that someone out there maybe might like the same things as you. You find that its not uncommon, and there's nothing wrong with you for liking it.

Those like my girl mina, who sometimes have anxiety in large crowds, would have panic attacks in clubs or dungeons with 50+ people. When we go to clubs I have to monitor her closely and if she starts showing signs of anxiety, we leave. I am working with her on it because she wants to get over it, and slowly we are able to stay for longer periods of time before we have to leave.


It was extremely naive of her to claim that nothing good at all would come of going to a play party with her friends.

[Master Darius Gevaldi]

SDPlus von CT

Master Darius Gevaldi

[qun CT"][quChieRe

Please see my post to her for reference, I do not feel like repeating myself.

Master Darius,

I'm sorry for writing to You in a disrespectful manner and finding flaws in Your character I had no basis to assess in the first place. Nothing You said made You either of those things. I'm sorry.

Apology accepted.

For the record, when I say Dear girl, it is not meant to condescend. I think that way of all submissives. You are 'dear girls' because of who you are, in terms of submission. It is a sign of respect for your embracing that part of yourself. Its similar to my girl, gillian, calling others dearling.

[Chieftain Twilight]

Master Darius Gevaldi

Chieftain Twilight

Master Darius Gevaldi

SDPlus von CT

Red Geranium__

I don't feel all that pressured to go, I think it would be interesting but I just honestly don't think being around people ~20 years older than me is very conducive to learning more kinky stuff. I think you're right on the risks of going alone while I'm so inexperienced/young.

My friend is really sweet and her heart's in a good place but I think I'm gonna wait til her friend's dungeon opens so me and my partner can see the different happenings together. You aren't being a debbie downer I honestly wasn't thinking about the risks all the much. sweatdrop

Do you have any experience with parties hosted at people's homes vs. dungeons/clubs? It just sounds like the parties hosted at residential homes can get a little...dangerous from what my friend told me because she was with her Sir and still had people constantly trying to dom/control her even when he was around?

I know exactly the answer you need:
don't go.
smile
nothing good will come out of it.

Nothing good will come of her being around others like minded people in a small, intimate setting instead of in a large club surrounded by possibly hundreds of strangers?

Oh, dear girl, you have so much to learn about the lifestyle.

Please see my post to her for reference, I do not feel like repeating myself.

Darius, I ask that you try not to be so condescending to her over an opinion. she hasn't said anything harmful, and I feel you are reading more into what she said than is actually present.

I don't entirely agree that nothing good can come of going, either, but I certainly expressed concerns with going, and I think that it's a fair opinion that going to an event with a bunch of strangers is not a particularly good idea. but I'm mainly concerned with her going alone. SD has a point, that it's not exactly safe to go to these sorts of events.

you say "small, intimate setting with like minded individuals", and you compare it to a large club of strangers. but the way I see it, there is not that much of a distinction.

What condescension? It does not exist in my post. If she thinks going to a gathering of like-minded people means nothing good would come of the gathering then she has a lot to learn.


Sometimes being in a smaller group is more comfortable and makes it easier to open up about one's likes, dislikes, and desires. It can sometimes help one to see that there are other 'real people' who like the same things, especially if their upbringing has led them to think there's something wrong with them for say liking to be whipped. When you talk to others it becomes real, its no longer an abstract idea that someone out there maybe might like the same things as you. You find that its not uncommon, and there's nothing wrong with you for liking it.

Those like my girl mina, who sometimes have anxiety in large crowds, would have panic attacks in clubs or dungeons with 50+ people. When we go to clubs I have to monitor her closely and if she starts showing signs of anxiety, we leave. I am working with her on it because she wants to get over it, and slowly we are able to stay for longer periods of time before we have to leave.


It was extremely naive of her to claim that nothing good at all would come of going to a play party with her friends.

my explanation will be terse because I am irritable right now. I just want you to know that has nothing to do with you, so I hope I don't come across as rude.

1.) Lune's advice was particular to this one situation. not as a general rule for play parties. she was not saying taht play parties are never good; she was saying that this situation seemed unsafe. I agree with that judgement call.

2.) you and I have different ideas of what constitutes a "small" setting. which is ot that uncommon. the term is vague and subjective, after all. to me, small is anything more than a few people and you don't know all of them. to you, I suppose a dozen or more people, including some strangers, is still small. but to me, that's a big party, and pretty dangerous. I stand by my opinion that she shouldn't go alone.

3.) that said, your advice earlier was gold. if she does go, she should at least go under somebody's protection. somebody she knows and trusts.

[Master Darius Gevaldi]

Chieftain Twilight

Marquessa_De_Sade

Chieftain Twilight

Harley Jade Linnea

Chieftain Twilight

Master Darius Gevaldi

Nothing good will come of her being around others like minded people in a small, intimate setting instead of in a large club surrounded by possibly hundreds of strangers?

Oh, dear girl, you have so much to learn about the lifestyle.

Please see my post to her for reference, I do not feel like repeating myself.

Darius, I ask that you try not to be so condescending to her over an opinion. she hasn't said anything harmful, and I feel you are reading more into what she said than is actually present.

I don't entirely agree that nothing good can come of going, either, but I certainly expressed concerns with going, and I think that it's a fair opinion that going to an event with a bunch of strangers is not a particularly good idea. but I'm mainly concerned with her going alone. SD has a point, that it's not exactly safe to go to these sorts of events.

you say "small, intimate setting with like minded individuals", and you compare it to a large club of strangers. but the way I see it, there is not that much of a distinction.

You see no distinction between being with a small group of people, some of whom you know, and a large group of people with knowing almost no one there? Okay then.

She'd already said that she knew some of the people who were going to be there but she's heard some bad things about some of the people in their community, however THAT wasn't made known until after she'd gotten multiple replies about the play party. Going on the initial information provided, SD saying 'Nothing good will come of it' sounded pretty damn dumb to me because there was zero reason for her to think that way.

Now in a respectful community, A LOT of good can come from going to parties with like-minded people, especially when you already know some of the people there. Because you can learn a lot from those who have more experience.

that's certainly not how I read it. but I also have a certain distinction for what I consider small.... typically only a handful of people. like 5 or 6. and for you to say that there is no reason to believe it could be dangerous or bad is just plain naive.

and again, I don't appreciate the condescending tone at what I quite frankly consider decent advice.

The tone of the thread has changed I see.
Seems quite...tense now.

I'm probably being standoffish, but I hold the importance of safety in very high priority. play parties are not nearly as safe as Darius, Lithia, or Harley are making them out to be. I cannot in good conscience condone somebody going alone, especially with misinformation. maybe I'm paranoid, but my experiences have left me with a deep-rooted concern for safety.

SOME are not safe. To imply that all are unsafe is a stereotype and a flat out lie. Also, the submissive said she was invited to go with friends, so she was not attending it alone, had she chosen to go. However, her gut said not to go based on things her friend shared about a different party they'd gone to and she should always follow her instincts. I find it highly offensive that someone who has already stated they only ever do one-on-one BDSM play, and has never been to play parties, is implying that they are all unsafe cesspools of abuse.

[Chieftain Twilight]

Delightful_FOOL

Is the tenseness over? lol

Anyway, I have a question/discussion! In a month, I will be going to an event. It's a hook/energy pull. I'm very excited to go as it's been far far too long since I received any hooks. It will be at a small, local S&M club. However, this particular event focuses on the spiritual and ritual aspect of this. I went last year and it was awesome. However, there were people there that were doing it for sexual reasons. And that's cool. Do what you do, my friends. Put, it was a little...strange for me. Since it was a new group and situation for me last year, I pretty much kept to myself and just pulled against walls and furniture. sweatdrop I'd like to pull with actual people this year, but it makes me nervous to open myself up like that when I'm not entirely sure of their intentions. Or maybe it's that they're strangers? I'm not sure. Everyone at the event last year was very polite, although I did feel like an odd-man-out because most of them were part of a well established play group. I guess I'm just wondering how I can ease my nerves and enjoy this. It would be much easier if my husband was pulling too, but he isn't in to hooks.

I use dto fall into the pit trap of relying on alcohol to "loosen up". obviously, that was a bad idea, and I'm sure you knew that already. but now, I find that having somebody that I trust with me helps me to feel safer and less awkward. even if they are just there not participating.

is there anyone other than your husband who might be willing to join you? someone you are close to and trust.

[Master Darius Gevaldi]

Mystic White Raven

I think thete was discussion of the size of play parties before? The play parties at I went to have only been at commercial dungeons rather than residential. The first I went to usually had around two dozen and the other tends to have...maybe around 50 or more.

Play parties at dungeons usually do have a lot more at them. My girls and I have been to both types; dungeons and private residential parties. gillian is a bit of an exhibitionist so she enjoys the dungeon settings more while mina has some anxieties with crowds so her preference is the more intimate setting at a residence. The more intimate ones we've been to have had, at most, eight couples.

[Master Darius Gevaldi]

Marquessa_De_Sade

Hmmm....I see tension will be a reoccurring theme now.....


gillian....have I said lately how lovely you are? A good many could take lessons from you.



I am going to have a tea...a nice, relaxing tea before my nature rears its head and I post something scandalous.

I will thank you for the compliment of my girl. I am always proud of the way she conducts herself.

[Chieftain Twilight]

Master Darius Gevaldi

Chieftain Twilight

Marquessa_De_Sade

Chieftain Twilight

Harley Jade Linnea

You see no distinction between being with a small group of people, some of whom you know, and a large group of people with knowing almost no one there? Okay then.

She'd already said that she knew some of the people who were going to be there but she's heard some bad things about some of the people in their community, however THAT wasn't made known until after she'd gotten multiple replies about the play party. Going on the initial information provided, SD saying 'Nothing good will come of it' sounded pretty damn dumb to me because there was zero reason for her to think that way.

Now in a respectful community, A LOT of good can come from going to parties with like-minded people, especially when you already know some of the people there. Because you can learn a lot from those who have more experience.

that's certainly not how I read it. but I also have a certain distinction for what I consider small.... typically only a handful of people. like 5 or 6. and for you to say that there is no reason to believe it could be dangerous or bad is just plain naive.

and again, I don't appreciate the condescending tone at what I quite frankly consider decent advice.

The tone of the thread has changed I see.
Seems quite...tense now.

I'm probably being standoffish, but I hold the importance of safety in very high priority. play parties are not nearly as safe as Darius, Lithia, or Harley are making them out to be. I cannot in good conscience condone somebody going alone, especially with misinformation. maybe I'm paranoid, but my experiences have left me with a deep-rooted concern for safety.

SOME are not safe. To imply that all are unsafe is a stereotype and a flat out lie. Also, the submissive said she was invited to go with friends, so she was not attending it alone, had she chosen to go. However, her gut said not to go based on things her friend shared about a different party they'd gone to and she should always follow her instincts. I find it highly offensive that someone who has already stated they only ever do one-on-one BDSM play, and has never been to play parties, is implying that they are all unsafe cesspools of abuse.

my position is, and will remain, that because some are dangerous, it is best to assume danger could be anywhere, and to never be unprepared for it. anywhere. anytime. you can call me paranoid for that if you will, but it is better to be safe than to be sorry.

take it from someone who let his guard down only once and wound up changed forever because of it. I cannot condone letting one's guard down, even in a familiar place, let alone one that is new.

[Delightful_FOOL]

Chieftain Twilight

Delightful_FOOL

Is the tenseness over? lol

Anyway, I have a question/discussion! In a month, I will be going to an event. It's a hook/energy pull. I'm very excited to go as it's been far far too long since I received any hooks. It will be at a small, local S&M club. However, this particular event focuses on the spiritual and ritual aspect of this. I went last year and it was awesome. However, there were people there that were doing it for sexual reasons. And that's cool. Do what you do, my friends. Put, it was a little...strange for me. Since it was a new group and situation for me last year, I pretty much kept to myself and just pulled against walls and furniture. sweatdrop I'd like to pull with actual people this year, but it makes me nervous to open myself up like that when I'm not entirely sure of their intentions. Or maybe it's that they're strangers? I'm not sure. Everyone at the event last year was very polite, although I did feel like an odd-man-out because most of them were part of a well established play group. I guess I'm just wondering how I can ease my nerves and enjoy this. It would be much easier if my husband was pulling too, but he isn't in to hooks.

I use dto fall into the pit trap of relying on alcohol to "loosen up". obviously, that was a bad idea, and I'm sure you knew that already. but now, I find that having somebody that I trust with me helps me to feel safer and less awkward. even if they are just there not participating.

is there anyone other than your husband who might be willing to join you? someone you are close to and trust.

Oh, yeah. Alcohol is absolutely not allowed at these things (and really isn't at any such body modification event). I have one friend that would be interested, but she is a huge flake. I invited her, but I'm not holding my breath for her to show. I will say that I have worked with the guy doing the piercings before and trust him 100%. It's just the people that I'm nervous about. In a very shy person and this is a very spiritual thing for me.