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Hey guys, I know many of you guys on here like to fap it. I would occasionally when I was younger, but I stopped. After I would do it, I would feel really depressed. When I had my first boyfriend, we would often do sexual things together. When we did, I would have to tell him to stop and I would start crying uncontrollably and be hit with the most intense wave of sadness. I wanted nothing more to run far away from him and throw myself off a bridge or jump into traffic, whichever I found first. After a while, it kind of went away. Sometimes after sex, I would still feel extremely depressed though. That boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. I have been lonely so I have decided to masturbate again. I just got done and I am so depressed. I just want to die. It's so bad right now. I don't know how I can go on living. I think there may be something wrong with me. Has this ever happened to you guys?

Also usually when people masturbate, they watch porn or think about someone or something. When I do, I can't think about anything. Just random images flow through my mind, often colors and abstract looking things. I thought this may be related.

Dapper Lunatic

It sounds to me like you may have been sexually abused when you where younger, because as far as I know you're supposed to have a feeling of euphoria.
Chase it away
It sounds to me like you may have been sexually abused when you where younger, because as far as I know you're supposed to have a feeling of euphoria.

I am thinking I may have been too... I don't remember ever being so though. I am also overcome with a huge amount of guilt during sex or masturbation.

Hilarious Prophet

Depression after choking the chicken happens to me too because I know that I just got off to the thought of someone's daughter. Even though it's just a fantasy I still don't feel good enough, the shame I feel is odd.

Dapper Dabbler

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i dont get depressed after sex, but i dont want anything to do with her for 30-60 minutes afterwards

Lunatic

I haven't since I was a teenager, actually. I started having sex at 19 and although I've only slept with two past boyfriends, the fact that I've had sex has made masturbation impossible. I get no pleasure from it at all.

Adored Admirer

I used to feel guilty after masturbating, especially because of what I fantasized about. Of course, that was because I was a Christian at the time. Now my consciousness is desensitized to some extent. Maybe you should speak to a professional about your problem.
Skataforeva
Chase it away
It sounds to me like you may have been sexually abused when you where younger, because as far as I know you're supposed to have a feeling of euphoria.

I am thinking I may have been too... I don't remember ever being so though. I am also overcome with a huge amount of guilt during sex or masturbation.

I was 19 when I finally realized I'd experienced sexual abuse as a child.
The mind is an interesting thing and has defense mechanisms that can block certain
memories. I'm not saying this definitely happened to you, but it's worth exploring with
a counselor if the problem continues.

Were you ever taught negative sexual views at home? Are your parents super religious?
What exactly makes you feel bad; the fact that you did something sexual? Or do you
just get overcome by an unnameable sadness?
weed-chan
Skataforeva
Chase it away
It sounds to me like you may have been sexually abused when you where younger, because as far as I know you're supposed to have a feeling of euphoria.

I am thinking I may have been too... I don't remember ever being so though. I am also overcome with a huge amount of guilt during sex or masturbation.

I was 19 when I finally realized I'd experienced sexual abuse as a child.
The mind is an interesting thing and has defense mechanisms that can block certain
memories. I'm not saying this definitely happened to you, but it's worth exploring with
a counselor if the problem continues.

Were you ever taught negative sexual views at home? Are your parents super religious?
What exactly makes you feel bad; the fact that you did something sexual? Or do you
just get overcome by an unnameable sadness?

I will try to. Maybe I need to go back into therapy for this. I have never told anyone about this besides my boyfriend really.

No, my parents were always open sexually, especially my mom. They are not religious but I recently started going to church a year ago, but this problem has been around way before then. In the past it would just be sadness. This time it was a mix of I did something wrong and the same sadness.
I used to feel guilty and sad after fapping bc I was shammed for it and for being gay. Your ex BFs sound like jerks form what you've said about them before. I think you just need to create positive sexual experiences and give yourself some loving.
WHlTE TlGER 2
I used to feel guilty and sad after fapping bc I was shammed for it and for being gay. Your ex BFs sound like jerks form what you've said about them before. I think you just need to create positive sexual experiences and give yourself some loving.

Well I have had this problem long before I even met him.

Dangerous Bloodsucker

Sounds like you should talk to a professional about this.

Loiterer

User ImageIs it just sadness or do you also feel like you have a cold?

I used to be guilty and cry after sex too. But it seems like what's happening to you is really serious. If it only happens after you c**, you could have Post-orgasmic illness syndrome.

You could talk to a doctor about it.

Shapeshifter

That happens to me once in a while, maybe because when I masturbate usually I think of someone I can't have. I always thought of this one guy I know who I really like. We're dating now so I definitely don't feel sad anymore.

Familiar Poster

You need some professional help.

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