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Thelisis's avatar

Tipsy Regular

gaia_nitemareleft I agree with most of the other people here; I think maybe you should try psychoanalysis? (I would usually suggest something more like Cognitive behavioral therapy, but if it is sexual abuse then I think you would benefit more from psychoanalysis). The best option would be to combine sessions with a psychoanalyst and also go to CBT sessions. gaia_nitemareright
Chase it away's avatar

Dapper Lunatic

Chase it away
It sounds to me like you may have been sexually abused when you where younger, because as far as I know you're supposed to have a feeling of euphoria.

I am thinking I may have been too... I don't remember ever being so though. I am also overcome with a huge amount of guilt during sex or masturbation.
Believe it or not, you may not remember it because the mind has been known to "shut out" certain memories of a traumatic event as a coping mechanism. Seek out professional help.
Sounds like repressed sexual abuse. Especially since you usually can't even think about it. Its like when you do it you mentally try to get away by imagining random s**t. You should see a therapist and resolve those issues somehow.
Boxx Top's avatar

Dapper Firestarter

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Nah, dude, when I first started, I would go to my bathroom afterward and shake and cry then later wonder why I was reacting so stupidly, 'cause I'd never heard of people getting so plain upset after ******** masturbating. It's gone away for me now mostly, sometimes I react badly still, but I don't think it's something you should be too worried about?? Maybe still see a professional like everyone else is saying, but, yo, you ain't alone.
Silly Annie's avatar

Clean Gekko

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man the whole process makes me feel dirty an bad inside
o -o

like I done somethin really bad

lately its even made me feel sick an I even threw up once
so I dont touch meself no more
Stop masturbating.
I am glad I am not alone. My mom says she has no idea who could have raped or molested me and it seems unlikely. I think it may be linked to my clinical depression. I am unsure though.
Cosmic Pilgrim
You're supposed to feel bad about masturbating and having gay sex.
Seraph of Thursday's avatar

Lonely Saint

Lol good to know I'm not alone. Fapping generally makes me want to drown myself in a bucket of acid.
Mister Okami's avatar

Dapper Pup

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I used to feel bad about it when I was younger, because idk, I felt I was doing something totally inappropriate and all that.

After awhile I realized I shouldn't feel so ashamed.

In your case, if you're certain you've never been abused then it's possible you have general anxiety/panic or an underlying phobia. That could be another possibility. Another possibility as to why you feel guilty is because you've been told it's wrong and indulging in these sorts of things is taboo.
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Milady Alluca's avatar

Girl-Crazy Capitalist

Sometimes after release my happy feeling fades into a depressed or apathetic state and I can actually get really upset or angry much more easily just after doing that compared to my normal moods. I remember reading about it before but I can't recall much. I can't say it's nearly as strong as your feelings, OP, I wish I had more to say on it but I'm pretty lost myself.

As for what is seen during, I don't watch porn as I find it pretty disgusting but I've had random don't look or think about anything bouts as well as reading erotica or just listening to music, idk

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