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mixtapebang
I'm sorry for your lose and I'm sorry people are being so insensitive.

I lost my father just over two years ago, when I was 18. I was made all the more painful in that I had to be strong for my mom and sister. Theres not a lot of advice I can give. Reflect on the positive, but don't put him on a pedestal. Enjoy life as often as possible and the pain will dull over time, but it'll never completely go away. However, you'll find one day that you can think of him without feeling hurt and, eventually, you'll go days without thinking of him at all. Its a process and everyones different. I do recommend talking to someone (your mom or siblings, perhaps) because just knowing someone is in the same boat can be an incredible comfort.

Good luck. I know this is hard, but you'll get through it... even if it seems you never will.
Thank you, Mix. It helps allot to know that you understand where I'm coming from.
I'm glad you pointed out not to put him on a pedestal because, looking back, that's exactly what I've been doing for months. I can see that its just been making me miss him more.
Talking to the rest of the family about this actually sounds pretty good, so I think I'll contact them.
You've been a big help, especially with my head in such a mess, its nice to hear a plan.
Centuries Before's avatar

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I thought this thread was about the death of Julius Caesar, given how March 15th is the Ides of March and all.
I Shall Grant You NoMercy's avatar

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Awwww. I love you too.
You adorwable wittle butthurt monster.
heart
and I love how you're trying to make yourself seem like a good person by "standing up" for the OP, yet you want all of my relatives die.
The hypocrisy just makes it cuter.
cat_4laugh
mixtapebang
I Shall Grant You NoMercy
The_Happy_Hermit
I Shall Grant You NoMercy
Why is the LD being overflowed with threads full of people whining about their promblems? Thats what the LI was made for. neutral
Really? Youre whining about whining? If you cant help, then how bout you show some respect and kindly shut the ******** up.
Some people just need to get important s**t off their chest.

Well exsuuuuce me for expressing my opinion. Didnt know it wasnt allowed in here.
Ill be more careful next time.
rolleyes


Youre right, you were 100 in the right for saying OP is whining when hes talking about his father DYING.

******** you. Seriously, usually I dont give a ******** about assholes on the internet, but as someone who recently lost my father; go sit on a ******** cactus and go ******** yourself. Maybe karma will swing around and take someone you love away from you and someone can tell you to stop moping.
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Almost 9 months ago, a girl from our school took her own life.
I can't say that I know exactly how you feel, but I went through something similar.

I believe that you just need to recall the brightest memories of that person and never forget about them, and also to realize that whatever had caused them pain before is gone now because they are at peace. Don't be afraid to release you feelings and thoughts, talk to someone or allow your tears to fall. You don't need to hold it back.

Never feel guilty or responsible for what happened; I don't know what happened in your situation, but the girl who'd passed last year had once been my friend in grade school. We'd drifted, found other people, and seldom talked ever again. The day before it happened, I had--for some reason that I still don't quite understand--taken a moment to just look at her. She didn't show a single clue to what would happen the next day.
The point is though that I blamed myself for not being there for her, not knowing the demons she was fighting within herself. I know now that it was her battles and hers alone. I don't know if I could have saved her, but I know that blaming myself would not bring her back.

Keep your chin up and don't forget to enjoy the big and little things in life. I bet he would've wanted you to.

I've very sorry for your loss, dear, and I wish you the best of luck,
~ Reya heart
Silver-Mask
I just noticed how close its getting to March 15th, the first anniversary of the day my Dad stopped suffering. My head's spinning and I'm in a bit of a fog. It doesn't feel like its been that long at all.
Its been almost a year, but I don't know what to do. I guess I'm in mourning again.
If you've gone through something similar, I guess I'd just like to know how you cope with loss.


I know that feel, bro. It's almost been fifteen years since my daddy died. I know coping with it can be really difficult, but it sometimes helps if you leave something on his grave when you go to visit (if you can). If you can't go visit, sometimes just lighting a candle in your house for his memory helps.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope the pain gets easier for you. If you ever need to talk, you can PM me.
 Fading Fantasma's avatar

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About 3 years ago my Aunt passed away then 3 weeks after her daughter died to.

Take some time to reflect and remember him ,perhaps do something you both enjoyed doing together.
The Whiskey Rebellion's avatar

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Beware the ides of march
Silver-Mask's avatar

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Reya-T26
Almost 9 months ago, a girl from our school took her own life.
I can't say that I know exactly how you feel, but I went through something similar.

I believe that you just need to recall the brightest memories of that person and never forget about them, and also to realize that whatever had caused them pain before is gone now because they are at peace. Don't be afraid to release you feelings and thoughts, talk to someone or allow your tears to fall. You don't need to hold it back.

Never feel guilty or responsible for what happened; I don't know what happened in your situation, but the girl who'd passed last year had once been my friend in grade school. We'd drifted, found other people, and seldom talked ever again. The day before it happened, I had--for some reason that I still don't quite understand--taken a moment to just look at her. She didn't show a single clue to what would happen the next day.
The point is though that I blamed myself for not being there for her, not knowing the demons she was fighting within herself. I know now that it was her battles and hers alone. I don't know if I could have saved her, but I know that blaming myself would not bring her back.

Keep your chin up and don't forget to enjoy the big and little things in life. I bet he would've wanted you to.

I've very sorry for your loss, dear, and I wish you the best of luck,
~ Reya heart
My Dad had lung infections all the time, spinal stenosis, and suffered three strokes. When you said the pain he was in is gone now, I almost cried out of happiness. I can't believe I forgot that important fact.
Thank you, Reya. That helped clear my head up a bit.
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Saffron Bunny
Silver-Mask
I just noticed how close its getting to March 15th, the first anniversary of the day my Dad stopped suffering. My head's spinning and I'm in a bit of a fog. It doesn't feel like its been that long at all.
Its been almost a year, but I don't know what to do. I guess I'm in mourning again.
If you've gone through something similar, I guess I'd just like to know how you cope with loss.


I know that feel, bro. It's almost been fifteen years since my daddy died. I know coping with it can be really difficult, but it sometimes helps if you leave something on his grave when you go to visit (if you can). If you can't go visit, sometimes just lighting a candle in your house for his memory helps.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope the pain gets easier for you. If you ever need to talk, you can PM me.
That sounds like a pretty good idea. He's been cremated and I hope to release them in Scotland for him, but until then I think I'll do just what you said and burn a candle for the big guy.
Thank you, Bunny. Even after fifteen years, its nice to know you still honor your Dad like that.
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Fading Fantasma
About 3 years ago my Aunt passed away then 3 weeks after her daughter died to.

Take some time to reflect and remember him ,perhaps do something you both enjoyed doing together.
I'm amazed I hadn't thought of that. I think that'd be nice to help remember him when he was happy, doing those things, than his death.
Thanks, Fading. Sorry to hear your experiences were so close together.
Silver-Mask
Saffron Bunny
Silver-Mask
I just noticed how close its getting to March 15th, the first anniversary of the day my Dad stopped suffering. My head's spinning and I'm in a bit of a fog. It doesn't feel like its been that long at all.
Its been almost a year, but I don't know what to do. I guess I'm in mourning again.
If you've gone through something similar, I guess I'd just like to know how you cope with loss.


I know that feel, bro. It's almost been fifteen years since my daddy died. I know coping with it can be really difficult, but it sometimes helps if you leave something on his grave when you go to visit (if you can). If you can't go visit, sometimes just lighting a candle in your house for his memory helps.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope the pain gets easier for you. If you ever need to talk, you can PM me.
That sounds like a pretty good idea. He's been cremated and I hope to release them in Scotland for him, but until then I think I'll do just what you said and burn a candle for the big guy.
Thank you, Bunny. Even after fifteen years, its nice to know you still honor your Dad like that.


No problem. I hope you're able to release them in Scotland; it sounds like that could be a coping method as well.
tokkis's avatar

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My best friend died on new years eve. I dunno, I never really dealt with it. But then again, I still cry at night.

I'm probably not the best advice giver. User Image

yum_tea
Buttery Biscuit Face's avatar

Shameless Gawker

What I find insensitive is the amount of arguing and whining on this thread when OP does not give a s**t and it is not helping him/her one little bit.
Im sorry to hear about your dad, I know the first anniversary is always hard.

Is there any way you can remember him in a positive light coming up to the date?
Be it in an activity you two used to do together, a place you remember he loved, etc?
I'd just suggest remembering the good coming up to the date, not the bad. Dont remember he was suffering, remember that he's not anymore, and remember a positive time in his life...
Not to say you shouldnt grieve. Grieving is natural, and necessary, in moving forward in life. So remember to take time to grieve, cry if you feel like it, write your feelings out (and do whatever you want with those - burn them, tear them up, keep them.... your choice).

Hope that helps.... The only grieving I did involved the breakup of my family, not an actual individual, so unfortunately I feel I'm a bit ignorant to this. But I hope I've helped.
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-Sniffle-Doodle-
Im sorry to hear about your dad, I know the first anniversary is always hard.

Is there any way you can remember him in a positive light coming up to the date?
Be it in an activity you two used to do together, a place you remember he loved, etc?
I'd just suggest remembering the good coming up to the date, not the bad. Dont remember he was suffering, remember that he's not anymore, and remember a positive time in his life...
Not to say you shouldnt grieve. Grieving is natural, and necessary, in moving forward in life. So remember to take time to grieve, cry if you feel like it, write your feelings out (and do whatever you want with those - burn them, tear them up, keep them.... your choice).

Hope that helps.... The only grieving I did involved the breakup of my family, not an actual individual, so unfortunately I feel I'm a bit ignorant to this. But I hope I've helped.
I know writing is a good way to vent out emotions, and despite making a call for advice on here, I actually didn't remember that technique until you mentioned it.
I intend on visiting my grandma on my Dad's side on that day so she won't be alone and so we can do just that, remember him in a positive light.
Thank you, Sniffle. To be honest, I think your loss might be more painful given that my Dad passed away, but on good terms. I'm sorry to hear you lost someone in spirit.

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