Love my neighbors, their daughter, not so much

[kelsey-chan]

I have really great neighbors that have a house right behind mine. They're my parents age and they're very kind. We love talking to each other, they're always there to help me if I need it and they always say they're happy to have me next door. I feel good knowing they live there. Now the house I live in I've been in for almost two years and they took the house behind me not long after I moved into mine. Their daughter is the same age as me but I had no idea that the people who moved behind me where her parents.

To give a brief history of her; we met in the 7th grade and we were friends. But she got really obsessed with me, all the shows I watched, the things I drew, the clothes I wore. It got weird fast. I never saw her again until the 10th grade only once. Until that time it was nine years until I saw her again. She's a nice person and she comes from a good place but that's really were it ends with me and her. Her personality is the total opposite of mine. I'm calm, kind of an old soul and I need a lot of space while she has very childlike behavior that's embarrassing and a lifestyle I don't care for at all.

The last time we hung out she told me a lot of things I didn't want to know and things I don't think I should have been told. Things about her sexual life and going into a lot of detail about it, her suicidal past and when she got raped. It was a lot for me to handle and I feel like for someone she hadn't seen/talked to in a really long time, she wasn't really thinking about how she was making me feel. We have both dealt with a history of depression and that's a part of my life I've moved on from and don't like talking about it and being around her makes me really uncomfortable because she talks about suicide and shows off her new cuts like it's something to gloat about. I'm not interested in her problems becoming mine and I'm not in a position to help her.

I don't know how to tell her parents how I feel about their daughter without jeopardizing my relationship with them because they really push for her and I to spend time together. I get uncomfortable when they keep calling me her best friend, as if she has no other friends and isn't capable of making friends, when I would say for sure I'm more like an acquaintance. Don't get me wrong. I haven't been and would never be mean to their daughter because I don't care for her. It's all just bothering me and I don't know what I should do.

[DaniRhapsody]

Start with her. Explain that the two of you have changed over the years and you no longer share the same interests. And her current behavior makes you feel very uncomfortable and you feel she would maybe benefit from professional help since you don't know how to handle it when she unloads her problems on you.

I'd say the same for the parents. Tell them that while you appreciate the sentiment, it makes you feel uncomfortable now that you and her have grown to become different people. Mention that you don't know how to handle the things she tells you and ask if they and their daughter may be open to therapy.

All you really can do is express yourself here. And if it damages your relationship with her parents, then at least you said your piece. They're her parents, they should act like adults and not lash out at you for being honest. I know that might seem like a longshot since I don't know much about her parents, but it's better to get it off your chest than keep it all bottled inside.