DizzySnowFire
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- Posted: Sat, 23 May 2015 03:46:18 +0000
Belethine
DizzySnowFire
Belethine
I need some advice here :c
Well here's some background info:
I'm in a LDR for almost a year so we're well past the honeymoon stage. We met on an MMO where he was constantly bugging me and there where I am at ingame and even off he would msg me and tried to Skype call me. So I gave it a chance and it started off really well, we have some bumps here and there. Fast forward to a couple of weeks of the nearby present where I wanted to start working and have my own income since I'm still studying for my degree I don't want to be dependent on my parents. So he decided to do that too and we both landed jobs but because of work he would msg me less and less and calls go maybe once to twice a week when it used to be everyday. Of course that change kind of hit me in a bad way like I'm trying to make time for him still leaving sweet good night/morning messages, we're only 3hrs apart in time difference. When I confronted him about it he would say that he's tired from work but somehow he has time to chat with other people before bed. Which was what I don't understand. When we been on call for like first time in 2 weeks he would just stay quiet when I'm talking or watch videos on his phone while still in call with me. I feel very neglected by his behavior from drastic change of being always there and comforting to now of just not very caring. I try to be more understanding that he just wanted space and doesn't want to be bothered after work, he has school also. I'm not constantly checking my phone every now and then anymore to see if he replied back I just try to keep myself busy so I wouldn't have time to check if that makes sense lmao.
We used to play games together a lot too but not anymore he would let me know that he sees me on when we're playing League with a "." or "<_<" not exactly a how's your day type of response I know. A lot of things we used to do we don't and sometimes I don't even feel like I have a boyfriend. That makes it seem like I should break things off but we promised to work things out, we talked about the future and moving to each other when we gotten our degrees and become economically stable. We do have good calls once in awhile and that reassures me, makes me stick to him even if he can be an inconsiderate jerk. =-=
It's like a cat and mouse game I feel like we're drifting apart but he keeps pulling me back.
Anyways problem is that
he works at a restaurant (not really the main problem) so apparently 3days ago there was a birthday party. What he told me was that it's his's boss's son's friend's daughters' birthday. <-<
Well anyways, he said that the two girls were checking him out when they came in and giggling whenever they stared at him looking him up and down. That's what he said was how he knew they were checking him out. So he went over to his friends working at the sushi bar saying they were checking him out. And his friends were telling him to go hit that and ditch them. And he was saying that's wrong because they're 15, he's 18. So his friends kept saying dirty stuff about them for over 30mins.
What hurts was that he could've told them that he had a girlfriend? So they wouldn't be telling him all that stuff to go bang them. I'm not sure if guys still say those stuff to each other while in a relationship whenever they see some girl checking them out. ._.
Continuing on so the parents of the girls (boss's son's friend's daughters) were asking him to go take pictures with the girls. He went with it (not sure why e-e) so they were all taking pictures with his arms around them and selfies with him. And said how the parents were pushing him to dating the girls constantly during that time they were there. Even at work the next day the dad asked him if he wanted to go fishing with him, and he can bring the girls too.
I just don't understand why he didn't declined....or say no because it's a family event something polite like that maybe even mentioning he's in a relationship would've dropped all that commotion.
So when I confronted him about it he got really angry saying it was just pictures, everyone does that in a restaurant and they were 15 so it shouldn't matter but he's 18. I'm just astounded because does that make it ok for me to do that with random guys that thinks I'm attractive? That age gap isn't that large I would've understood if it were 10 year olds. Even if it's in a workplace. I would've said it's against working policy to be soliciting with customers or mention that my boyfriend wouldn't like it. Then he was telling me to stop starting sh** over nothing and to stop making a big deal over it. He said it wasn't like he asked for their numbers or anything and that's the reason why he doesn't tell me anything. That really hurt I didn't think there was more incidents like this that occurred. We used to tell each other everything. He was also saying how it was the parents asking him to take pictures with him not the girls (what about those selfies with each of them?) and that he barely said 3 words to them during the whole time they were there. So one of the girls left her card on the table so he went and give it to them but that just started taking more pictures again... and during the whole time he was telling me the story he was laughing about it saying it was awkward that whole incidence. Apparently he bragged about it to everyone and told them what happened, he told me the day after because he forgot to tell me.
All I wanted to know was why he didn't just say those things I wasn't even mad or jealous just wanted to know the reason how did he think his actions was alright with me. Like was I even considered when he just went with it. I'm not sure if it's because he doesn't want people to know the fact he's taken or is just living it up like he's single. And yet he was the one that was chasing me, he tried very hard to get me but by his actions I don't know what to say. He was telling me to "stop breathing down my f***ing neck over it" his words sorry for vulgar language. And telling me to stop making a big deal over nothing because I'm insecure and always start crap over nothing.
I asked a friend of mine who's also in a LDR she said I wasn't overreacting and asked me if any of his friends/family even know I existed. Tbh I don't know but my friends and family do... though.
I don't think we'll be talking anytime soon whenever I say something he doesn't like he gets mad and rages on me. :l
What do you think I should do? Was I overreacting and shouldn't even ask those questions? Was I wrong on my part? Should I apologize for making a fuss over this?
Maybe the faults with me because I just don't know what I can or cannot do in a relationship. Not really sure how to continue on with this relationship.
I just don't know anymore. :/
Well here's some background info:
I'm in a LDR for almost a year so we're well past the honeymoon stage. We met on an MMO where he was constantly bugging me and there where I am at ingame and even off he would msg me and tried to Skype call me. So I gave it a chance and it started off really well, we have some bumps here and there. Fast forward to a couple of weeks of the nearby present where I wanted to start working and have my own income since I'm still studying for my degree I don't want to be dependent on my parents. So he decided to do that too and we both landed jobs but because of work he would msg me less and less and calls go maybe once to twice a week when it used to be everyday. Of course that change kind of hit me in a bad way like I'm trying to make time for him still leaving sweet good night/morning messages, we're only 3hrs apart in time difference. When I confronted him about it he would say that he's tired from work but somehow he has time to chat with other people before bed. Which was what I don't understand. When we been on call for like first time in 2 weeks he would just stay quiet when I'm talking or watch videos on his phone while still in call with me. I feel very neglected by his behavior from drastic change of being always there and comforting to now of just not very caring. I try to be more understanding that he just wanted space and doesn't want to be bothered after work, he has school also. I'm not constantly checking my phone every now and then anymore to see if he replied back I just try to keep myself busy so I wouldn't have time to check if that makes sense lmao.
We used to play games together a lot too but not anymore he would let me know that he sees me on when we're playing League with a "." or "<_<" not exactly a how's your day type of response I know. A lot of things we used to do we don't and sometimes I don't even feel like I have a boyfriend. That makes it seem like I should break things off but we promised to work things out, we talked about the future and moving to each other when we gotten our degrees and become economically stable. We do have good calls once in awhile and that reassures me, makes me stick to him even if he can be an inconsiderate jerk. =-=
It's like a cat and mouse game I feel like we're drifting apart but he keeps pulling me back.
Anyways problem is that
he works at a restaurant (not really the main problem) so apparently 3days ago there was a birthday party. What he told me was that it's his's boss's son's friend's daughters' birthday. <-<
Well anyways, he said that the two girls were checking him out when they came in and giggling whenever they stared at him looking him up and down. That's what he said was how he knew they were checking him out. So he went over to his friends working at the sushi bar saying they were checking him out. And his friends were telling him to go hit that and ditch them. And he was saying that's wrong because they're 15, he's 18. So his friends kept saying dirty stuff about them for over 30mins.
What hurts was that he could've told them that he had a girlfriend? So they wouldn't be telling him all that stuff to go bang them. I'm not sure if guys still say those stuff to each other while in a relationship whenever they see some girl checking them out. ._.
Continuing on so the parents of the girls (boss's son's friend's daughters) were asking him to go take pictures with the girls. He went with it (not sure why e-e) so they were all taking pictures with his arms around them and selfies with him. And said how the parents were pushing him to dating the girls constantly during that time they were there. Even at work the next day the dad asked him if he wanted to go fishing with him, and he can bring the girls too.
I just don't understand why he didn't declined....or say no because it's a family event something polite like that maybe even mentioning he's in a relationship would've dropped all that commotion.
So when I confronted him about it he got really angry saying it was just pictures, everyone does that in a restaurant and they were 15 so it shouldn't matter but he's 18. I'm just astounded because does that make it ok for me to do that with random guys that thinks I'm attractive? That age gap isn't that large I would've understood if it were 10 year olds. Even if it's in a workplace. I would've said it's against working policy to be soliciting with customers or mention that my boyfriend wouldn't like it. Then he was telling me to stop starting sh** over nothing and to stop making a big deal over it. He said it wasn't like he asked for their numbers or anything and that's the reason why he doesn't tell me anything. That really hurt I didn't think there was more incidents like this that occurred. We used to tell each other everything. He was also saying how it was the parents asking him to take pictures with him not the girls (what about those selfies with each of them?) and that he barely said 3 words to them during the whole time they were there. So one of the girls left her card on the table so he went and give it to them but that just started taking more pictures again... and during the whole time he was telling me the story he was laughing about it saying it was awkward that whole incidence. Apparently he bragged about it to everyone and told them what happened, he told me the day after because he forgot to tell me.
All I wanted to know was why he didn't just say those things I wasn't even mad or jealous just wanted to know the reason how did he think his actions was alright with me. Like was I even considered when he just went with it. I'm not sure if it's because he doesn't want people to know the fact he's taken or is just living it up like he's single. And yet he was the one that was chasing me, he tried very hard to get me but by his actions I don't know what to say. He was telling me to "stop breathing down my f***ing neck over it" his words sorry for vulgar language. And telling me to stop making a big deal over nothing because I'm insecure and always start crap over nothing.
I asked a friend of mine who's also in a LDR she said I wasn't overreacting and asked me if any of his friends/family even know I existed. Tbh I don't know but my friends and family do... though.
I don't think we'll be talking anytime soon whenever I say something he doesn't like he gets mad and rages on me. :l
What do you think I should do? Was I overreacting and shouldn't even ask those questions? Was I wrong on my part? Should I apologize for making a fuss over this?
Maybe the faults with me because I just don't know what I can or cannot do in a relationship. Not really sure how to continue on with this relationship.
I just don't know anymore. :/
You aren't overreacting
My boyfriend/fiancé works at a bar and he has told me that women hit on him and whatnot but he always shuts them down saying that he is taken or that he is engaged or something like that so well that they know he isn't available. It's very weird that he was so accusing of you....saying you were insecure and whatnot where I don't see that. Has he been stressed lately?
That's what I would've wanted him to do... guess that was asking him too much to do? No apparently not which is the weird part, my friends are saying he's hiding something because of how worked up he got
It's not too much. It's two words: "I'm taken." It's not hard at all
He could be hiding something...