Welcome to Gaia! ::

RunningWithNemo's avatar

Chatty Lunatic

Racy Lacey
RunningWithNemo
Racy Lacey
So my boyfriend flew back to Scotland today. I don't know how to be alone anymore... I miss him.
*hug* Awww, I'm sorry! sad I know I'll be the same way after seeing my boy for the first time in person. Walking away from him will be hard. How long have you two been together?
7 months today sad he's been staying with me the last 3 months.

Oh, I can totally understand how it's hard going back to not having him around! emotion_hug sad
According to my count down - 1 day and 11 hours until I go to see my boyfriend! So excited. I'm kind of afraid my excitement will jinx me sweatdrop
Kinda need to vent and ask help.

- Been dating someone LD for 3 years now.
-lives 6 hours away
-is going through FTO office as part of the police department process (dunno what it means, but it means I can't talk to him/nor text for 10 hours of the day 5 days a week. Worse than the police academy
- I ish lonely as ********. Struggle with anxiety and medicated, no therapist. Him: calm and supportive
-met a new friend I admit my fault because I liked his attention he gave more than my bf
- last night my bf accused me of turning off my phone to talk to the friend when it was all a mis understanding (got a crap phone for over 4 years and battery dies easily)
-called him and told him I couldn't take the distance anymore. We would be on FaceTime just doing on our own thing, not talking. I'm lonely and he didn't want thngs to end


I guess I'm saying if I did the right thing or was I irrational. I'm just lonely as hell and he tried so much to support me.
RunningWithNemo
HowlWhiteWind
RunningWithNemo
Awwww, that's so sweet! I hope to do that one day with my boy. heart


Awwwww <3 I hope one day you can also.
This guy I talk about, I hope one day to actually date him. Hes truly my best friend I just love him. Like I can't explain it. I get butterflies when I talk to him, I keep smiling, hes the only person who truly cares about me. Other people I have been close too come and go as the please but hes stayed by my side since I met him. ;w; I can't just..sorry if I keep talking I will talk forever about
him.

I'm hoping to once I get back to school as I have way better internet there - my internet here at home isn't the best and hates me at the best of times. (I'm currently using a 'stolen' wifi connection from my neighbors because it's better and I can get on via my laptop in my bedroom but it's not good enough to Skype or anything like that, sadly. sad )

No worries - I know how you feel. That's how I feel about my boyfriend. It's rough, as we live on opposite sides of the country - but I may be moving closer to him for Grad school (still up in the air), so there is that but that won't be for a couple years at least.

Have you talked to him about how you feel about him? Does he feel the same way about you? emotion_hug How long have you two known each other? How far apart are you two? Sorry for the 20 questions. razz I'm kinda a nosey person at times. sweatdrop


<3 It truly is a joy and I do hope you can experience it ^w^ and no worries about the questions.

He knows how I felt. I confessed to him in February that I had a crush on him and at the time he turned me down ;; not because I wasn't good enough or it was about me. He just hasn't had the best of luck with LDR relationships. But honestly, we still stayed by each others side. We both acutally don't have anyone else who cares about each other. Normally when we play the game we both play, it's always been the two of us. We AFK together with our characters in game, and are always around eachother. Over the past while however, I'v fallen in love with him and he's grown close to me to were he opens up more to me and wants to be around me and enjoys my company. So we are taking it slow.

We met eachother on Sunday October 27th 2013. At first, I was dating someone else who was taking advantage of me and didn't love me, and I couldn't escape. When I met this guy, what attracted me the first to him was his voice (omg @_@ he sounds so sexy) but we did a few things on this game, like run missions and such and we were just casual friends. But my boyfriend at the time started to just not care about me anymore, he gave up on me and I was alway alone, so I would hang out with my new friend more and he welcomed me around, help me out, talk and such. come christmas he brought me a gift on this game and he did so on my birthday afterwards, which is just after christmas. My boyfriend didn't infact he forgot about my birthday. I started to develop a crush on my friend because of how kind and caring he is. and in feb, I had enough, I broke up with my boyfriend because the relationship was going no where, and he was hurting me.

(The story is HUGELY LONG HUGGGGGGE LONG so this is short version)

then end of feb I confessed my feelings to my friend. s**t happened with another friend of ours
now we spend every moment together and I am very much happy to be around him and he is happy to be around me.

We live 2 hours from eachother.

That was alot of typing.
RunningWithNemo's avatar

Chatty Lunatic

HowlWhiteWind

that was a lot, but that's great! That's great that you two are taking it slow and just seeing where things go. :]
I do hope that things do work out for you two! smile
And two hours apart isn't too bad, for sure! smile I wish I was that close to my boy.
We are currently on opposite coasts - I'm on the West Coast, and he's on the East Coast - I'm here for at least another year (because of school and the program that I'm in), and I may be going to Grad School on the East Coast - I would only be like a 3 hour train ride away if I do that. We'll see how things play out. smile
Kliapatra's avatar

Shy Kitten

10,150 Points
  • Bunny Spotter 50
  • V-Day 2011 Event 100
  • Bunny Hunter 100
Muleo is Romeo
Kinda need to vent and ask help.

- Been dating someone LD for 3 years now.
-lives 6 hours away
-is going through FTO office as part of the police department process (dunno what it means, but it means I can't talk to him/nor text for 10 hours of the day 5 days a week. Worse than the police academy
- I ish lonely as ********. Struggle with anxiety and medicated, no therapist. Him: calm and supportive
-met a new friend I admit my fault because I liked his attention he gave more than my bf
- last night my bf accused me of turning off my phone to talk to the friend when it was all a mis understanding (got a crap phone for over 4 years and battery dies easily)
-called him and told him I couldn't take the distance anymore. We would be on FaceTime just doing on our own thing, not talking. I'm lonely and he didn't want thngs to end


I guess I'm saying if I did the right thing or was I irrational. I'm just lonely as hell and he tried so much to support me.


You can't talk to him 10hrs/day 5 days a week? Isn't that basically just like not talking to him while he's at work? I don't think that's so bad, but it can be difficult if you don't have much to do with your own time. I know I had difficulty coping when my SO started working full-time while I was only working part-time. I had to find a lot of things to do on my own and spent a lot of time making crafts and things to send to him.

Whether it was the right decision isn't really something anyone else can tell you. Did you have plans to be together again soon? What is it that made you feel like you could not continue?
Kliapatra
Muleo is Romeo
Kinda need to vent and ask help.

- Been dating someone LD for 3 years now.
-lives 6 hours away
-is going through FTO office as part of the police department process (dunno what it means, but it means I can't talk to him/nor text for 10 hours of the day 5 days a week. Worse than the police academy
- I ish lonely as ********. Struggle with anxiety and medicated, no therapist. Him: calm and supportive
-met a new friend I admit my fault because I liked his attention he gave more than my bf
- last night my bf accused me of turning off my phone to talk to the friend when it was all a mis understanding (got a crap phone for over 4 years and battery dies easily)
-called him and told him I couldn't take the distance anymore. We would be on FaceTime just doing on our own thing, not talking. I'm lonely and he didn't want thngs to end


I guess I'm saying if I did the right thing or was I irrational. I'm just lonely as hell and he tried so much to support me.


You can't talk to him 10hrs/day 5 days a week? Isn't that basically just like not talking to him while he's at work? I don't think that's so bad, but it can be difficult if you don't have much to do with your own time. I know I had difficulty coping when my SO started working full-time while I was only working part-time. I had to find a lot of things to do on my own and spent a lot of time making crafts and things to send to him.

Whether it was the right decision isn't really something anyone else can tell you. Did you have plans to be together again soon? What is it that made you feel like you could not continue?


I kind of agree here. I do think it was a bit irrational. I mean, if you can't handle it you can't handle it but I think this is definitely a common problem that I hear about with young couples transitioning into adulthood. It is easy for people who have a lot of free time and internet access to become spoiled when they're able to talk to someone many hours out of the day. But this is also unrealistic and unlikely to remain the same. There would honestly be no difference if you (the quoted OP, not the person I quoted) were together in person. He'd still have to work, you still wouldn't get to talk to him those hours of out of the day.

This is when I think it is an issue beyond the LDR. I understand you have anxiety, I and my significant other have anxiety disorders, but I'm sorry I do not think it is anyone's responsibility or obligation to be there for you and to comfort you at any moments notice. Anxiety comes and goes and people are perfectly capable of coping and getting through it without the assistance of others. It isn't healthy to hold such standards to anyone, not just a significant other. It's pressuring and stressful. I think you just became spoiled by the period of time before he started working. 10 hours really isn't that bad. You will find the older you get the less time you actually get to spend with people. You will have work, as will they, and most couples spend about 8+ hours apart a day.

_______________________________________

In other news, I just got back home from my stay in Canada with my boyfriend sad had such a good and relaxing time. When I got home, out of curiosity I decided to look up getting visas in Canada, and ugh, it's depressing. I know the US is the same. I don't know what would be my easiest route of being eligible for a visa. Not that I'm planning on it right now, but I think I should be aware of what may be expected of us when the time comes. It wouldn't be much easier for him to get a visa here either.
Kliapatra's avatar

Shy Kitten

10,150 Points
  • Bunny Spotter 50
  • V-Day 2011 Event 100
  • Bunny Hunter 100
Just wanted to say that I will be seeing my SO for the first time in 2 years this coming Thursday (one week from today!). whee
Kliapatra
Just wanted to say that I will be seeing my SO for the first time in 2 years this coming Thursday (one week from today!). whee


Yay! Congrats! I can only imagine how excited you must be. I can only see mine every other month and just that time period leaves me feeling anxious D;
Muleo is Romeo
Kinda need to vent and ask help.

- Been dating someone LD for 3 years now.
-lives 6 hours away
-is going through FTO office as part of the police department process (dunno what it means, but it means I can't talk to him/nor text for 10 hours of the day 5 days a week. Worse than the police academy
- I ish lonely as ********. Struggle with anxiety and medicated, no therapist. Him: calm and supportive
-met a new friend I admit my fault because I liked his attention he gave more than my bf
- last night my bf accused me of turning off my phone to talk to the friend when it was all a mis understanding (got a crap phone for over 4 years and battery dies easily)
-called him and told him I couldn't take the distance anymore. We would be on FaceTime just doing on our own thing, not talking. I'm lonely and he didn't want thngs to end


I guess I'm saying if I did the right thing or was I irrational. I'm just lonely as hell and he tried so much to support me.


I cannot stress enough how vital communication is in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend and I make time to talk to each other every day that we have free time. We try to talk through our problems as much as possible. For instance, My boyfriend has depression and anxiety. Pair that with a possible gluten intolerance (he's a carb-o-holic too) and both his physical and mental health are basically screwed. He needs a lot of support right now, but I can't give him that support if he's drowning himself in negativity. I need him to find something positive in his life so he doesn't give up hope. But sometimes it's hard for me to be supportive because the long distance. I don't feel so connected or involved to his problems, but I try to make the effort to sympathize with him, even when he complains. Even though I'm working a lot, I still reserve an hour out of my day to talk to him. We schedule a time to skype (usually 9-10pm) and are working on being more positive and honest with one another. As long as we are both aware of each other's feelings, we are usually pretty good.

Anyway, I also think it's important to find the difference between problems in the relationship and the inherent problems of long distance. In my case, my problem was with my boyfriend's negativity, and long distance made the problem worse. Maybe you could ask yourself if the root of the problem was with the distance, or if something else was going on. To me it sounds like you really couldn't deal with the distance or the time he spent working. I wouldn't say your decision was irrational, but maybe it was a bit premature. I would have alerted him about your need for more time. Sometimes having a set time to talk can help keep you on track. I would really try to fix it before I throw in the towel. But if you find you really need someone in person and in your life every day, maybe it was best to break it off. Ultimately, I can't reassure you whether you made the right decision or not. You know your life better than I do smile but hopefully this reply was somewhat helpful.

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get Items
Get Gaia Cash
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games