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DizzySnowFire
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DizzySnowFire
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DizzySnowFire

Indeed it is!
I was so nervous!

So you and your man are no longer together?


Yep, broken up. But he certainly isn't acting different. All he'd have to do is call me a pet name and tell me he loves me and I swear it wouldn't be any different. This is why I'm debating on asking him if he wants to give it another shot. Because if we're going to spend this much time together (which of course I want to do because I genuinely care for an enjoy him) I'd like for us to be exclusive.

Aww that's so sad.
Maybe ask him to see?


I'm thinking about it. I have a feeling he'd still say no, though, despite his behavior. I've talked to various people about it. A lot of people tell me to just move on and that we broke up for a reason but sometimes people need breaks. I also talked to a counselor about it. She said it sounds like he may have psyched himself out and felt that removing the label of boyfriend and girlfriend would relieve him of pressure and obligations, and it technically has, but he's doing exactly what he claimed was pressured to do and couldn't quite live up to.

Every morning for 3 days now I've woken to a spam of texts from him trying to get me to respond to him because he thought I was there, but not responding. And this evening he wasn't feel well and he was tired, he didn't feel like talking but he still called me on Skype. He got on cam and just listened to me talk.

In my head I think "Why not give it another shot?" I won't ask much else from him beyond what he's giving me now. But you never know what's going on in his head.

Maybe he doesn't like the who boyfriend/girlfriend title. Kinda like how marry people are better just dating not being actually married.
But I think you should really work up the courage to ask him. Maybe if you can in person?


That's always really frustrated me with people. The people who think dating changes everything, and that marriage changes everything. No, people who psyche themselves out and freak out over the commitment because they think it will change everything are the ones who change and ruin everything stressed

And anyone else who actually thinks being in a relationship or being married does change everything and automatically gives you certain entitlements that you didn't before just need to go away or something. Nothing should change in a relationship when you take it to the next level, it should get better.

Lonely Gaian

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Wee Little
DizzySnowFire
Wee Little
DizzySnowFire
Wee Little
DizzySnowFire

Indeed it is!
I was so nervous!

So you and your man are no longer together?


Yep, broken up. But he certainly isn't acting different. All he'd have to do is call me a pet name and tell me he loves me and I swear it wouldn't be any different. This is why I'm debating on asking him if he wants to give it another shot. Because if we're going to spend this much time together (which of course I want to do because I genuinely care for an enjoy him) I'd like for us to be exclusive.

Aww that's so sad.
Maybe ask him to see?


I'm thinking about it. I have a feeling he'd still say no, though, despite his behavior. I've talked to various people about it. A lot of people tell me to just move on and that we broke up for a reason but sometimes people need breaks. I also talked to a counselor about it. She said it sounds like he may have psyched himself out and felt that removing the label of boyfriend and girlfriend would relieve him of pressure and obligations, and it technically has, but he's doing exactly what he claimed was pressured to do and couldn't quite live up to.

Every morning for 3 days now I've woken to a spam of texts from him trying to get me to respond to him because he thought I was there, but not responding. And this evening he wasn't feel well and he was tired, he didn't feel like talking but he still called me on Skype. He got on cam and just listened to me talk.

In my head I think "Why not give it another shot?" I won't ask much else from him beyond what he's giving me now. But you never know what's going on in his head.

Maybe he doesn't like the who boyfriend/girlfriend title. Kinda like how marry people are better just dating not being actually married.
But I think you should really work up the courage to ask him. Maybe if you can in person?


That's always really frustrated me with people. The people who think dating changes everything, and that marriage changes everything. No, people who psyche themselves out and freak out over the commitment because they think it will change everything are the ones who change and ruin everything stressed

And anyone else who actually thinks being in a relationship or being married does change everything and automatically gives you certain entitlements that you didn't before just need to go away or something. Nothing should change in a relationship when you take it to the next level, it should get better.

I understand.

Humorist

Lonely Gaian

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can anyone help me with immgration stuff?

Tipsy Streaker

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DizzySnowFire
can anyone help me with immgration stuff?
shoot me a pm and I'll help out as much as I can :3 My husband and I are going through the process right now. So if it's for immigration into the USA I can help :3

Noob

Hey, guys. I was wondering if anyone could give me advice... I posted a thing on LI.

Basically I'm pretty sure my mom won't approve, but I want to go visit my boyfriend in the USA (I'm in Canada). I don't know how to talk to her, since she's uptight and over reacts about everything. On top of it all, when I told her about my boyfriend she laughed in my face.

Help me?

Thank you guys, I love hearing success stories.



Lonely Gaian

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My boyfriend/fiance is going to come live with next summer ^^
It says 30 days min for a visa should he wait for a bit or should he apply now?

Tipsy Streaker

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My Little Spider Friend
Hey, guys. I was wondering if anyone could give me advice... I posted a thing on LI.

Basically I'm pretty sure my mom won't approve, but I want to go visit my boyfriend in the USA (I'm in Canada). I don't know how to talk to her, since she's uptight and over reacts about everything. On top of it all, when I told her about my boyfriend she laughed in my face.

Help me?

Thank you guys, I love hearing success stories.



oh geeze she sounds like my mother. Parents can be hard to talk to, I'm 28 now, but when I was younger it was a bear to talk to my mom about a long distance relationship. Their generation is often of the belief that anything online is fake ans there is no such thing as long distance love, especially with someone whom you haven't met in person.

Depending on your age, there are different ways to deal with it... I had to be very careful how I talked to my mom about it, but I sat down and had a serious talk with my mom and explained very clearly to her how I felt. I made sure to listen to her side as well, but when she didn't take me seriously, I very calmly reiterated that I was dead serious and that it meant a lot to me.

She was concerned for my safety in the end. She was afraid the boy I liked wasn't who he said he was and that I would get hurt or killed if I went and visited him. I ended up introducing them on Skype, and gave in and my boyfriend and I arranged for him to visit me first.

When I got older I could just pretty much tell my mom to stuff it and do what I wanted. I had three failed long distance relationships before I found the one for me.

I celebrated my first wedding anniversary this year with my husband, who is from Denmark, I am from the USA. It took a lot to get him here, and my mom was none too happy about it, but she loves my husband now.

All I can tell you is to be honest with your mom and listen to her concerns. In the end, she wants you to be safe and happy and she loves you, just remember that.

Noob

Erihar_Dragonclaw





Thank you so much for this reply, it was probably the most helpful and supportive I have gotten. You're totally right, I think I just really need to talk to her about it. If you don't mind, how did you initiate it? Like I'm 17, and I have a 4 year old brother who is badder than bad, so my mom is always stressed out.
Maybe perhaps him really would be a better choice, since I'd be more comfortable, however we'd have to probably wait longer due to money. And yeah, skyping with her and him would probably be a good way as well. I've been his mom, she's lovely, and his siblings. I really want to meet his dad but his dad doesn't go into his room ever.
I really love hearing happy endings, maybe soon in a few years I'll be on here asking for help with immigration. wink Congrats on your anniversary by the way!

Thank you so much.



Hello, hello. ^^ I've seen this thread a lot while lurking, and thought it was nice. Now that I'm in aLDR, I thought I would drop in. My relationship wasn't at first but, my boyfriend joined the Military and his first base is over seas. Booo.

Tipsy Streaker

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My Little Spider Friend
Erihar_Dragonclaw





Thank you so much for this reply, it was probably the most helpful and supportive I have gotten. You're totally right, I think I just really need to talk to her about it. If you don't mind, how did you initiate it? Like I'm 17, and I have a 4 year old brother who is badder than bad, so my mom is always stressed out.
Maybe perhaps him really would be a better choice, since I'd be more comfortable, however we'd have to probably wait longer due to money. And yeah, skyping with her and him would probably be a good way as well. I've been his mom, she's lovely, and his siblings. I really want to meet his dad but his dad doesn't go into his room ever.
I really love hearing happy endings, maybe soon in a few years I'll be on here asking for help with immigration. wink Congrats on your anniversary by the way!

Thank you so much.



I'm trying to remember exactly how I talked to her. It's never an easy thing to start out a conversation on especially when you have a parent that doesn't understand.

When I need to have a serious conversation with my mother, I usually approach her with "Mom, can we sit down and talk for a while? I have something very important to me that I would like to talk to you about."

Have you ever had any serious discussions with your mom? if so think back to how you initiated those. Just be open and honest with her and remain calm and adult with her as well, she'll be more likely to see your side if you are.

I hope this helps, and good luck!

Noob

Erihar_Dragonclaw



Honestly, I've never had a serious conversation with my mom, however, I've become more open to her. We talk a lot more now, as she is aware I do have a deeper understanding of things now that I've grown and matured.
I already asked my father, through text. I hardly see him. I asked him if he was picking me up for the weekend, then I asked of his opinion, and if we could talk next time he picks me up about me going to the USA and meeting Kaine. He gave me thumbs up, he believes I'm sensible and responsible enough, however, as he states, I'm legally under my moms care, so what she says, goes.
I'm thinking maybe me and him shouldn't meet for new years, and he should definitely come here rather than me go there. The next option after new years would be valentine's weekend. He could arrive Friday, stay for 3 days, and leave on Tuesday.
I think maybe that's the best option.



Tipsy Streaker

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My Little Spider Friend
Erihar_Dragonclaw



Honestly, I've never had a serious conversation with my mom, however, I've become more open to her. We talk a lot more now, as she is aware I do have a deeper understanding of things now that I've grown and matured.
I already asked my father, through text. I hardly see him. I asked him if he was picking me up for the weekend, then I asked of his opinion, and if we could talk next time he picks me up about me going to the USA and meeting Kaine. He gave me thumbs up, he believes I'm sensible and responsible enough, however, as he states, I'm legally under my moms care, so what she says, goes.
I'm thinking maybe me and him shouldn't meet for new years, and he should definitely come here rather than me go there. The next option after new years would be valentine's weekend. He could arrive Friday, stay for 3 days, and leave on Tuesday.
I think maybe that's the best option.



Your mom might be more comfortable with that option.

I had a supportive dad too, he trusted my judgment and supported me through everything.

Just remember that you'll get much further with your mother by remaining calm and mature through the conversation and by listening to her concerns as well and taking them seriously. Don't dismiss any of her concerns, but ask how you and your boyfriend can help to ease her concerns.

Lonely Loiterer

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So... hi. I used to post in this thread really frequently on an older account, although I'm no longer using that account and I'm no longer in that relationship.
But, I don't know. I was browsing and I saw this thread and I really wanted to post here again? Is that okay, that I'm not even in a relationship anymore but I want to chat with people here?
The guy I'm interested in now lives quite far away so if I ever got the courage to say anything to him it would be long distance, but that's not actually a relationship I know sweatdrop
...sorry if this is a sort of pointless post, you all can ignore it if you want <_<;;

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