I was here a few days ago, and vented about how relationships take compromise on both sides.. They also take communication, Trust, Support for each other, and a lot of time love and care... If you are in a LDR, You have to be willing to open up, talk about your day, likes, needs, and silly things.... because if you can't let the other person into your life, nothing will progress and you will either fall apart or your heart will push the other person out.. You have to also be patient and understand the person you are with can not be online 24/7... You have to decide if the person is worth it, if he / she makes you happy, and if your willing to fight for that person no matter what.... Because no relationship is with out strife.
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I adore my Love, He makes me happier then any man ever has, at times he also makes me more upset then any man ever has... I think that is why they say love and hate is a fine line.... We have had many many ups and downs and I was starting to push him out because he was also pushing me away..... (Fear can kill the strongest relationships) My love and I have been best friends since 2007, and We started dating in 2010. It was a very hard transition from friends to well Lovers so to speak... It took us months to figure out where the lines were to be drawn and suddenly we had worries about ourselves and each other, that we never had with each other before.. He had liked me from the start but I was afraid of a LDR since my last one had failed, He is also younger then me by 5 years, and I had a crush on someone else. Since I had no intention of dating him I had also let all my guards down and he Got to Know me as well as my closet friends. I didn't try to win him by playing games and flirting. I was myself.. He from the start said he wanted to date me and chased me the whole time... When I finally said yes and fear stepped in we started having issues.. I moved, thankfully closer to him tho not close enough as I would like... My life was up in the air and still is very unpredictable. Yet he has a very stable life, so finding time to communicate on my part was hard.... I ended up being a real brat to him and then fear took over and I was suddenly reminded of my past failed relationships and I projected them onto him. I was also very emotional, because I am writing book about my medical past. And that also brought up a lot of issues I had not delt with, fears I was reliving... So I ended up Taking advantage he would always be there for me. However we ended up not talking for almost 6 months (Last year) We didn't give up on each other, yet, we weren't talking. I worked through them and we started talking again in Feb, when our game marriage was taken place years before. Since then we have had a lot of fights and argument and a week here or their where we don't talk, But with every fight we grew closer....... Till the holidays came around again and he started backing off again. I wanted him to visit but situations keep coming up where his money has to go to an urgent problem... I started thinking how convenient these were 1 moth before he was to visit every time. I got very mad at him since he was distant and yet again his trip plans were cancelled.... I yelled at him again, of course that just made him become even more distant...... So I decided instead of yelling at him I would be the most supportive I could be and should be. This is the Man I love with all my heart, the man I wanna marry one day after all... Even through all the heck we go through, he is still the only man who can make me smile completely inside and out just by a simple text, call or Skype....
So I wrote him a very loving set of emails, I sent him sweet texts instead of complaining, I lost my temper a few times but not like before. And I made myself clear what I needed from him and what I expected from any man I am to marry. I also reminded him we are not engaged, married, yet, so he has yet complete claim on me and even when he does that doesn't mean he relax and stop trying to make me happy, or flirting with me... Because if he wants attention from me he has to be willing to give his attention as well... I aslo reminded him, when he chooses to be absent in my life I am not lacking in people who want my attention. However it was his attention I preferred. and that I was jealous of the people who got his full attention when he wasn't around.. I know I can't have it all the time, but i missed him..... I also was very clear about what I have to offer as a role of his Girlfriend, how I wanted to walk beside him, work with him when problems arise and be a part of his life, not sit on the sidelines wacthing his life move on with out me.. That I needed him to open up more, even tho he is quiet and reserved, because since we are apart right now I needed him to open up more so I could feel somewhat involved in his Life...
Last week I was 98% gonna break up with him, it was tooo hard because the lack of communication when that is all you have to survive a LDR is too much to loose... And it Hurt to much...... But I held on to that 2% of Hope and I did my best to encourage and be sweet... Do unto others as you wish them to do to you -(No excuse for forcing a person to something like rape people!) It means be kind if you want kindness, open up if you want them to open up to you.. another true quote, you get more with sugar then vinegar! Very true... I remembered how he waited for me to work through my issues last year He deserves the same faith from me... I love this man..........
And it worked... He has been so attentive and sweet back, he has opened up more and he is more like the Man I feel in love with then he has been all year... I am so Happy again... The best Christmas gift I could get is to have the man I feel in love with back....... I think by the time we get together permanently in person we will have most the issues people face in the first year of marriage all worked out, except for the issue of things like combining belongings.. If I had ended it with him, I know I would have a huge piece missing in my heart. We have a bond unlike any I have ever felt, when we don't talk for a while its like I am missing part of myself... He owns my heart... I thought I was in love before but with this man it is 100% different... They say you know that you know that you Know that person is the one when you meet... Well He is my one!! However that doesn't make issues vanish it makes them harder... And with a LDR its a lot harder because you can not be together to sort them out you have to rely on technology and that can be an issue in itself... It takes determination, bravery, and a fighting spirit...
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So Don't Give up, try different things see what works best for you, and remember, if He / She is worth it, Don't give up....
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Amy Jane emotion_bigheart
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