klebold
Ugh, the distance is destroying us, for me at least... My situation, I'll keep it short, I'm 650 miles away, MA to Canada, got my passport, ready to go, just waiting to get more money from this part-time job, weekend security just sitting in my car, I got $1k right now and I make a little less than $200 a week, got taxes coming back soon, talked to the guy at the demolition site I'm watching over he said 3 more weeks probably, and 6 more if we decided to take another building down, but I won't be there for that. I want to leave as soon as possible. Jobs are hard to come by, so I need to wait until this one's finished. I got college in the Fall, I need to be back by August, possibly even late July.
She expects me to fully trust her, and I want to, I have to, seeing as how I'm going through with this trip and will be relying on her hospitality while I'm up there, but it's hard to trust her, when all these harsh truths keep on rising up about her, like things she's done with guys, I know it's all in the past, but I can't help but feel hurt from being lied to. She doesn't realize that lies hurt, especially in long-distance-relationships, and especially when they're white lies. All my life, I've made assumptions about people, and 90% of the time I'm right about them, and I got this solid one in my head that she's lying about something else, but I know for a fact that I shouldn't care, because all that matters is who we are now, and what we have ahead... but still, that doesn't mean she can lie about her sexuality, wouldn't you wanna know a little background on the person you love? A person you're dedicating a lot, to go see? I'm just afraid that I'll find something out about her when I get there and it will hurt me the deeper into the relationship we get, and I'll be hardpressed for a reaction, and I don't want to walk out on her, she's amazing <3
Ah, I understand you completely. I'm in one remotely similar. It's hard to get rid of the nagging voice in your head and just fully trust them. You have to understand that some people hide their secrets by telling lies. The lie is told in the hopes that the one asking for such sensitive info will quit asking if they have some kind of an answer. The problem with that logic is, of course, the person lies about even the simplest of things, and the lies continue to grow, building up this identical wall of truths and fallacies. For me, it's a matter of thinking of another's welfare. I don't want to be lied to, it hurts to be lied to, but I understand why I am being told a lie. Being able to fully trust someone is accepting them even after all the lies. Perhaps I'm a sentimental fool for hoping one day he'll tell me everything I don't want to hear, but in the long run I'd rather hear it from him, and not a third party.
