Long Distance Relationsips (LDR) Support Thread

[sidewalkkittie]

LynJah

I know LDRs aren`t perfect - so a question comes to mind.

Have anyone of you guys ever had that feeling of insecure? I`ve always been the jealous type, & I get so worried if my guy talks to other girls. It`s the constant what ifs, you know?

I know I can trust my guy 100%, but those damn insecurities always make things so hard. How do you deal with those feelings?

It's hard not to wonder who he's talking to and how close he is to those pesky females, but the way I beat the paranoia is to take a deep breath and realize that I trust him and he trusts me. He must struggle with the same issues and all I can do is think about how I act without him around and know that he does the same.

It also helps to shoot him a quick text like "Love you" or "Thinking of you", just to know that he has you on his mind.

[LynJah]

SinfulGuillotine

I have a question for people in LDRs who do get the chance to see their partners in person from time to time.

My boyfriend doesn't live too terribly far away, so we get to see each other maybe once a month or once every other month on average, depending on our schedules. Usually only for a weekend at a time. And seeing him is great, of course, and I'm thankful that we live close enough for relatively frequent visits to be possible, but I often feel sort of pressured to do as much together as we possibly can, since we usually only have two or three days per visit to be together.

Does anyone else ever feel rushed or pressured to make the most out of visits as possible, and if so, how do you deal with it?

In the span of 4 years, I`ve only met my guy twice. & yeah, that feeling of being pressured to do a lot of things before time runs out pops up. But I`ve learned to deal to take it slow & steady, especially when we`re alone. Everytime he visits, it`s always only me and him and nothing else - for me, I feel content with just that.

[Chibi_Ice_Angel]

SinfulGuillotine

I have a question for people in LDRs who do get the chance to see their partners in person from time to time.

My boyfriend doesn't live too terribly far away, so we get to see each other maybe once a month or once every other month on average, depending on our schedules. Usually only for a weekend at a time. And seeing him is great, of course, and I'm thankful that we live close enough for relatively frequent visits to be possible, but I often feel sort of pressured to do as much together as we possibly can, since we usually only have two or three days per visit to be together.

Does anyone else ever feel rushed or pressured to make the most out of visits as possible, and if so, how do you deal with it?

I am feeling the same thing you are. My boyfriend is coming to visit hopefully this spring break and I have often felt the way you are feeling. Just remember, don't do anything you are not sure you are absolutely ready for. It sounds like there are sure to be more visits to come so if you don't get to do everything you want on this visit then plan for the next. I hope the advice helps heart

[Cheferoni]

What an awesome thread! I'm so subscribing!

Anyways, here's my story I guess.

I was 13, he was 12. We met through the Royal Canadian Sea cadets. We were both taking the same summer course, Gunnery Trade Group 1, at HMCS Quadra on Vancouver island.
We talked a bit, and he gave me a Hello Kitty Bracelet. I wore it every day.
After camp, we talked a lot on MSN, a lot of web cam calls. it was nice. We sent each other gifts.
The year after, we met up again at Quadra for Gunnery Trade Group 2. It was heaven!
The year after though, we didn't get to see each other, as he was accepted for camp at HMCS Ontario, in Kingston Ont. I was accepted at Quadra, again.
We saw each other last year though, he came to Quadra for Staff, and I did not go to camp. I stayed home and worked.
He met my family last summer, as I brought him home for the day a lot.

This past winter I flew out to his house for about a month. I met his family and relatives. It was the best time of my life!

I live on Vancouver Island, BC. So I was able to drive up and visit him all last summer.
He lives in Thunder Bay, Ontario.

It's a pretty far distance. But we've managed for 5 years now (I am 18(19 in Dec.) and he is 17(18 in Nov.)) We talk almost daily. We are a rather nerdy couple. I sent him a 5x5, 6x6, and a 7x7 set of Rubiks cubes (Actually, they are V Cubes, Rubiks's does not make a 7x7 cube. I had to import them from Greece.) I am waiting for him to reply right now, actually, to see if he opened the box yet. And of course, I gave him a hand made card with tons of love. <3
I am awaiting his package he sent to me to arrive, but it was delayed in Vancouver, and I won't receive my Valentines gift until Monday, but that's ok. smile

And my parents said a LDR would never work for me... XD ParentFail.

[Chibi_Ice_Angel]

sidewalkkittie

LynJah

I know LDRs aren`t perfect - so a question comes to mind.

Have anyone of you guys ever had that feeling of insecure? I`ve always been the jealous type, & I get so worried if my guy talks to other girls. It`s the constant what ifs, you know?

I know I can trust my guy 100%, but those damn insecurities always make things so hard. How do you deal with those feelings?

It's hard not to wonder who he's talking to and how close he is to those pesky females, but the way I beat the paranoia is to take a deep breath and realize that I trust him and he trusts me. He must struggle with the same issues and all I can do is think about how I act without him around and know that he does the same.

It also helps to shoot him a quick text like "Love you" or "Thinking of you", just to know that he has you on his mind.

I agree about the quick little notes during the day. It is a really great reminder and makes him feel good to know that you are thinking of him.

[sidewalkkittie]

SinfulGuillotine

I have a question for people in LDRs who do get the chance to see their partners in person from time to time.

My boyfriend doesn't live too terribly far away, so we get to see each other maybe once a month or once every other month on average, depending on our schedules. Usually only for a weekend at a time. And seeing him is great, of course, and I'm thankful that we live close enough for relatively frequent visits to be possible, but I often feel sort of pressured to do as much together as we possibly can, since we usually only have two or three days per visit to be together.

Does anyone else ever feel rushed or pressured to make the most out of visits as possible, and if so, how do you deal with it?

Tony and I have this problem. We see each other about once every other month (although there was a very long and lonely stretch of three months over the holidays...) and when we do get together, it's in a city with lots to do and see.

General rule of thumb, at least in my relationship, is spontaneity is number one. We usually make one solid plan for each day with are together. For example, when we were in San Francisco, one night we had reservations at a very fancy restaurant, the next day we went to Alcatraz, the next day we met up with some friends for drinks. Of course we did much more than that, but it also left a lot of breathing room for the nights that we wanted to stay in and watch a movie.

[minsco]

LynJah

I know LDRs aren`t perfect - so a question comes to mind.

Have anyone of you guys ever had that feeling of insecure? I`ve always been the jealous type, & I get so worried if my guy talks to other girls. It`s the constant what ifs, you know?

I know I can trust my guy 100%, but those damn insecurities always make things so hard. How do you deal with those feelings?

My Guy Has Been Asked out Many Times, Since We Started going Out, and He Has Turned Them All Down. It's Trobbling Knowing He Is So Popular Among Other Girls, But He always Tells Me About It, And He Say's He'd Much rather Be With Me, Because I'm A Lot More speacial To Him, So It Makes It Easier Knowing That Even If There Aer Other Girls, He'd Rather Be With me, And He Makes Sure I Know That.

[Cheferoni]

Chibi_Ice_Angel

sidewalkkittie

LynJah

I know LDRs aren`t perfect - so a question comes to mind.

Have anyone of you guys ever had that feeling of insecure? I`ve always been the jealous type, & I get so worried if my guy talks to other girls. It`s the constant what ifs, you know?

I know I can trust my guy 100%, but those damn insecurities always make things so hard. How do you deal with those feelings?

It's hard not to wonder who he's talking to and how close he is to those pesky females, but the way I beat the paranoia is to take a deep breath and realize that I trust him and he trusts me. He must struggle with the same issues and all I can do is think about how I act without him around and know that he does the same.

It also helps to shoot him a quick text like "Love you" or "Thinking of you", just to know that he has you on his mind.

I agree about the quick little notes during the day. It is a really great reminder and makes him feel good to know that you are thinking of him.

Those notes are a good idea. I unfortunately cannot afford Text messaging. TT__TT But I just send emails from my laptop to his cellphone instead. Whatever works I guess. smile

[jellolove]

i'm in one right now ): my girlfriend lives a little under 2 hours away. we met in high school but now that i'm in college, i only see her twice a month or so, if that ):

if i had a car i'd try to go home every weekend but i don't. sad

it's hard, but we get through it. heart we're still going strong. it'll be officially 9 months march 7th. whee even though we were practically dating over a year ago xd

i've been in online long distance relationships before and they didn't really work out. mad

[LynJah]

Chef Raiz

What an awesome thread! I'm so subscribing!

Anyways, here's my story I guess.

I was 13, he was 12. We met through the Royal Canadian Sea cadets. We were both taking the same summer course, Gunnery Trade Group 1, at HMCS Quadra on Vancouver island.
We talked a bit, and he gave me a Hello Kitty Bracelet. I wore it every day.
After camp, we talked a lot on MSN, a lot of web cam calls. it was nice. We sent each other gifts.
The year after, we met up again at Quadra for Gunnery Trade Group 2. It was heaven!
The year after though, we didn't get to see each other, as he was accepted for camp at HMCS Ontario, in Kingston Ont. I was accepted at Quadra, again.
We saw each other last year though, he came to Quadra for Staff, and I did not go to camp. I stayed home and worked.
He met my family last summer, as I brought him home for the day a lot.

This past winter I flew out to his house for about a month. I met his family and relatives. It was the best time of my life!

I live on Vancouver Island, BC. So I was able to drive up and visit him all last summer.
He lives in Thunder Bay, Ontario.

It's a pretty far distance. But we've managed for 5 years now (I am 18(19 in Dec.) and he is 17(18 in Nov.)) We talk almost daily. We are a rather nerdy couple. I sent him a 5x5, 6x6, and a 7x7 set of Rubiks cubes (Actually, they are V Cubes, Rubiks's does not make a 7x7 cube. I had to import them from Greece.) I am waiting for him to reply right now, actually, to see if he opened the box yet. And of course, I gave him a hand made card with tons of love. <3
I am awaiting his package he sent to me to arrive, but it was delayed in Vancouver, and I won't receive my Valentines gift until Monday, but that's ok. smile

And my parents said a LDR would never work for me... XD ParentFail.

Very sweet. It`s kinda nice to know that you`ve done something unordinary & proved a few people wrong. It`s a great feeling to know that something magical really do come true ^_^.

[sidewalkkittie]

Chibi_Ice_Angel

sidewalkkittie

Now this is my kind of thread.

My boyfriend and I met online three years ago. We were friends and chatted casually, him being the creator of an RPing website and me having been promoted to a moderator. Last year, the staff decided that we should all meet IRL, specifically at the Penny Arcade Expo in Seattle. Meeting face to face was what did it. It was quite literally love at first sight. By the end of the weekend, we were both reeling from all the emotions and very confused. I had been seriously dating a woman for much of the time that he had known me, so I kind of caught him off guard. And then, as he was hugging me goodbye, he kissed me on the cheek.

And here we are, five months and two trips across the country later, madly in love.

I am 22 (well tomorrow I am haha) and he is 21 (turning 22 in April). I live in Connecticut and he lives in California, 2964 miles apart. I have tentative plans to move in May. smile

Thank you for sharing such a lovely story and for reading and giving advice to others. Your advice seems to really come from the heart. Thank you heart

Thank you heart It's a very important topic to me, and I'm sure you'll be seeing a lot of me around here! 4laugh

[Cheferoni]

LynJah

Chef Raiz

What an awesome thread! I'm so subscribing!

Anyways, here's my story I guess.

I was 13, he was 12. We met through the Royal Canadian Sea cadets. We were both taking the same summer course, Gunnery Trade Group 1, at HMCS Quadra on Vancouver island.
We talked a bit, and he gave me a Hello Kitty Bracelet. I wore it every day.
After camp, we talked a lot on MSN, a lot of web cam calls. it was nice. We sent each other gifts.
The year after, we met up again at Quadra for Gunnery Trade Group 2. It was heaven!
The year after though, we didn't get to see each other, as he was accepted for camp at HMCS Ontario, in Kingston Ont. I was accepted at Quadra, again.
We saw each other last year though, he came to Quadra for Staff, and I did not go to camp. I stayed home and worked.
He met my family last summer, as I brought him home for the day a lot.

This past winter I flew out to his house for about a month. I met his family and relatives. It was the best time of my life!

I live on Vancouver Island, BC. So I was able to drive up and visit him all last summer.
He lives in Thunder Bay, Ontario.

It's a pretty far distance. But we've managed for 5 years now (I am 18(19 in Dec.) and he is 17(18 in Nov.)) We talk almost daily. We are a rather nerdy couple. I sent him a 5x5, 6x6, and a 7x7 set of Rubiks cubes (Actually, they are V Cubes, Rubiks's does not make a 7x7 cube. I had to import them from Greece.) I am waiting for him to reply right now, actually, to see if he opened the box yet. And of course, I gave him a hand made card with tons of love. <3
I am awaiting his package he sent to me to arrive, but it was delayed in Vancouver, and I won't receive my Valentines gift until Monday, but that's ok. smile

And my parents said a LDR would never work for me... XD ParentFail.

Very sweet. It`s kinda nice to know that you`ve done something unordinary & proved a few people wrong. It`s a great feeling to know that something magical really do come true ^_^.

Thanks, but I think this is far from unordianry. I mean, look at how many people are in LDR's. It's so great! I think LDR's are good for people, but you learn to appreciate your signifigant other so much more. You appreciate every moment you are with them, and sometimes even the moments without. Because those moments without, are simply filled with thoughts of them. <333
And yes, it is a magical feeling. whee

[Chibi_Ice_Angel]

minsco

LynJah

I know LDRs aren`t perfect - so a question comes to mind.

Have anyone of you guys ever had that feeling of insecure? I`ve always been the jealous type, & I get so worried if my guy talks to other girls. It`s the constant what ifs, you know?

I know I can trust my guy 100%, but those damn insecurities always make things so hard. How do you deal with those feelings?

My Guy Has Been Asked out Many Times, Since We Started going Out, and He Has Turned Them All Down. It's Trobbling Knowing He Is So Popular Among Other Girls, But He always Tells Me About It, And He Say's He'd Much rather Be With Me, Because I'm A Lot More speacial To Him, So It Makes It Easier Knowing That Even If There Aer Other Girls, He'd Rather Be With me, And He Makes Sure I Know That.

Just remember that he turned down those girls for a reason. He has more emotions nad feeligns for you then them. Just remind yourself of that and don't let those feelings get the better of you.

[Bard of Hyrule]

While I am in an LDR and highly interested in a support topic for these types of relationships, I can't read the light pink text at all! =(

[sidewalkkittie]

Chef Raiz

I think LDR's are good for people, but you learn to appreciate your signifigant other so much more. You appreciate every moment you are with them, and sometimes even the moments without. Because those moments without, are simply filled with thoughts of them. <333
And yes, it is a magical feeling. whee

I could not agree with you more! Tony says it all the time. He's glad it happened this way because we will never take advantage of our time together because of how much time we spend apart. LDR's are a whole other plane of difficulties and joys.