Just curious

[kakteed]

Hey guys, two questions that I thought I would get some feedback on, because I'm honestly kind of stumped.

- Why would someone dread seeing someone else, knowing that they'll actually probably have a wonderful time, and then subsequently not wanting to leave when it's over; repeat?

- And why would someone be excited to see someone else, and upon arrival losing all of that enthusiasm even though the person is perfectly acceptable for socialization?

- And would anyone be able to recommend a course of action to find and solve the problem?

I dunno. I think I used to be good at this stuff. Maybe I'm just tired. I read scary stories before bed last night and subsequently didn't sleep...office coffee time...

[Roake]

This sounds like s**t I do... and I have social anxiety / social phobia to the point of it being a disability, so maybe thaaaat's what's going on, what do you think?

[kakteed]

Roake

This sounds like s**t I do... and I have social anxiety / social phobia to the point of it being a disability, so maybe thaaaat's what's going on, what do you think?

I don't think so. Unless it doesn't cover strangers because she and I met while we worked in food service together and she was, and still is, fine doing that. This was a one-off concern between her and her boyfriend.

[Moogle Voodoo]

anxiety?

[kakteed]

Moogle Voodoo

anxiety?

Even the second part? I don't know how anxiety works.

[Moogle Voodoo]

kakteed

Moogle Voodoo

anxiety?

Even the second part? I don't know how anxiety works.

Maybe said person may feel that the person they're visiting doesn't really wanna see em??

[kakteed]

Moogle Voodoo

kakteed

Moogle Voodoo

anxiety?

Even the second part? I don't know how anxiety works.

Maybe said person may feel that the person they're visiting doesn't really wanna see em??

That sounds like a possibility.

[Moogle Voodoo]

kakteed

Moogle Voodoo

kakteed

Moogle Voodoo

anxiety?

Even the second part? I don't know how anxiety works.

Maybe said person may feel that the person they're visiting doesn't really wanna see em??

That sounds like a possibility.

I've had friends act like that before.

Lots of self-esteem and self-worth issues

[kakteed]

Moogle Voodoo

kakteed

Moogle Voodoo

kakteed

Moogle Voodoo

anxiety?

Even the second part? I don't know how anxiety works.

Maybe said person may feel that the person they're visiting doesn't really wanna see em??

That sounds like a possibility.

I've had friends act like that before.

Lots of self-esteem and self-worth issues

It would fit. What could I suggest to someone to make the situation better?

[Pink Plaid]

I've dreaded wanting to go see someone even though I knew I'd have fun just because I was lazy and had to travel far to see them.

[GravityPure]

Social anxiety does that. My friend and I would call them 'butterflies with razorblades'. You get the excited light feeling of wanting to go out (butterflies in your stomach) and suddenly dreading it once you arrive (THE RAZORBLADES).

It can take a moment to adjust once you've arrived, or sometimes it's just not a good night and will not get much better. It happens to me at times, I am super excited to go out drinking but as we near the bar/party/home I get anxious and unsettled about the whole idea.

Sometimes with coaxing and having a good laugh or two I snap out of it. Sometimes I just have to go home or leave the situation. I am completely against taking medication, but, I have found the better the group of individuals I am around the more reassured I am about the choices to go out.

[Chieftain Twilight]

kakteed

Hey guys, two questions that I thought I would get some feedback on, because I'm honestly kind of stumped.

- Why would someone dread seeing someone else, knowing that they'll actually probably have a wonderful time, and then subsequently not wanting to leave when it's over; repeat?

- And why would someone be excited to see someone else, and upon arrival losing all of that enthusiasm even though the person is perfectly acceptable for socialization?

- And would anyone be able to recommend a course of action to find and solve the problem?

I dunno. I think I used to be good at this stuff. Maybe I'm just tired. I read scary stories before bed last night and subsequently didn't sleep...office coffee time...

the honest answer to all of these questions, is that we are human beings, and we don't make sense. we are inherently emotional creatures, and emotions are inherently illogical. we can and do feel conflicting emotions, desires, fears, urges, and so on. simultaneously.

[kakteed]

Pink Plaid

I've dreaded wanting to go see someone even though I knew I'd have fun just because I was lazy and had to travel far to see them.

Yeah, I've felt that too. My boyfriend's an hour+ with traffic away and he doesn't have enough experience on the road for me to feel safe having him drive to me (plus his city is much more exciting, way closer to NYC, and he knows everyone so we get things for free there.) So I know it'll be worth it, but ******** traffic.

[kakteed]

Chieftain Twilight

kakteed

Hey guys, two questions that I thought I would get some feedback on, because I'm honestly kind of stumped.

- Why would someone dread seeing someone else, knowing that they'll actually probably have a wonderful time, and then subsequently not wanting to leave when it's over; repeat?

- And why would someone be excited to see someone else, and upon arrival losing all of that enthusiasm even though the person is perfectly acceptable for socialization?

- And would anyone be able to recommend a course of action to find and solve the problem?

I dunno. I think I used to be good at this stuff. Maybe I'm just tired. I read scary stories before bed last night and subsequently didn't sleep...office coffee time...

the honest answer to all of these questions, is that we are human beings, and we don't make sense. we are inherently emotional creatures, and emotions are inherently illogical. we can and do feel conflicting emotions, desires, fears, urges, and so on. simultaneously.

Yeah, but that's not a helpful answer.

[kakteed]

GravityPure

Social anxiety does that. My friend and I would call them 'butterflies with razorblades'. You get the excited light feeling of wanting to go out (butterflies in your stomach) and suddenly dreading it once you arrive (THE RAZORBLADES).

It can take a moment to adjust once you've arrived, or sometimes it's just not a good night and will not get much better. It happens to me at times, I am super excited to go out drinking but as we near the bar/party/home I get anxious and unsettled about the whole idea.

Sometimes with coaxing and having a good laugh or two I snap out of it. Sometimes I just have to go home or leave the situation. I am completely against taking medication, but, I have found the better the group of individuals I am around the more reassured I am about the choices to go out.

That sounds about right! Thanks for illustrating it for me. I really appreciate it.

Should I vet her boyfriend then and see if he's been unintentionally giving off "bad company" vibes then? Or just continue to reassure her that she's worrying about nothing?