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[umaybearies]

emotion_nope

[Vardoger]

It's possible. And it's ok if you're at least 18+. Just remember that who you are isn't really cemented (biologically) until you are about 25.

However, I would not date that guy because he lied. Stick with your gut feelings. Just get far away from this guy.

Edit: I see you're Turkish. Maybe you should ask people in your country about this issue. On Gaia, most are American and so you will get a very America-central view. The cultures are very different.

[L0LIS]

Assuming you're of age, you can date who you want to. One thing to remember is that while you're in your 20s, he's way older and will be on a different chapter than you. You'll be figuring out who you are, what you want to do with your life and he's been through this and is probably looking to settle down wanting marriage, kids even.

[strawberry delite]

I think you were right to stop dating him. You are certainly not being smug. If someone lies to you about their age it can be a huge red flag, especially if you haven't met them in real life. It is fine to date someone older than you if there is a significant age gap, but only if you are both adults and up front about it. it can also depend on how old you are too. if, for example, you are twenty and are dating someone who is thirty, take into consideration the gap between you and the other person. ten year's difference is half of a twenty year old's life! whereas if the age gap is still ten years but with two individuals who are, say, sixty and seventy, it doesn't matter as much, because both individuals have had sufficient life experiences and may share more things in common. You are making the right choice to stop dating him, especially because he may be lying about something else.

[5th Dimension Morning]

I wouldn't say it's bad, but when you are still in your teens or twenties, it isn't prudent to do so. for largely the same reasons that you mentioned.

besides, he sounds like a creep. he lied to you about his age, and you seem to have the impression that he wants to settle down and marry you, without regards to how you feel or what is best for your life. you would be wise to stay away from him.

[drunklady]

Bornes

However, I would not date that guy because he lied. Stick with your gut feelings. Just get far away from this guy.

I agree. I mean you'll have to decide for yourself if you want to give him another chance but that's a big thing to lie about and he was hiding his age from you for a reason, he himself might not actually be comfortable with the age gap or be aware of its inappropriateness.
My bet is that he wants to date some one young and cute so he lied and that may set a bad precedent for where his preference may always stay.
If he likes you, a younger woman now, and you decided to stick with him, in the future when you get older, like 30, is he going to still pine for 20 year olds?

I dated a guy who was 27 when I was 18 and it didn't work because we had different past experiences, upbringing, and maturity levels.

[Desi the fuzzy fluffhead]

I probably would stop dating him, because imo any thirty-something year old that wants to settle with a 20 year old has to have some problems.
Like a fling is normal, but I just find it odd that someone would want to marry someone who is really, still, just a kid.

No offense meant, but I wouldn't even want to date a 20 year old and I'm only 2 years older than that.

Plenty of people are mature for their age,I know, and it can work out perfectly fine.
Lying is a bad sign.

[xI Beautifully me]

Well, it's not really bad I guess that is, if your legal. But for me of course it's bad. I personally wouldn't dare to date someone 10 years older than I am. If I were in your shoes I would definitely stop dating him. Not just because he's 10 years older, but also because he lied.

[Maternal Muffin]

It's not bad to date someone that is older than you, but I wouldn't be dating him specifically again, if it was me. the fact that he lied to you about his age.. what else could he be lying about if he deceives you over something that petty?

[The Ice Dervish]

Honestly, that guy sounds like a giant c**t who wants to make you marry him early. Just get away from him. Usually when you date someone that much older there are personality disconnects and such. The mindset of a 20 year old is vastly different from the mindset of a 30 year old, and so on.

[Kunoichi Kay]

umaybearies

Hi everybody. I have an issue that I want to get your ideas. I am 20 and I was (probably) dating with a guy. He lied to me about his age, he said he is 20s and when I learned that he is more than 30, I was frightened and stopped dating. First of all he lied to me and I am not close to forgive him. However, I don't want to be a smug girl. I just want to settle with him but I am still frightened, I can not speak. Because if I continue dating with my feelings, he will affect my future plans. He will ask to marry in near future even if I am still young and going to university. I will refuse him in high probability or ask to marry in distant future and he will blame me with heartbreaking.I can not deal with that chaos. (These are not possibility, will occure in near future, I am sure.)
I ask to you guys this questions: Is it bad to date someone ten years older than you? Is it possible to date with an elder love? And if you were in my shoes, how would you behave: stop dating, settle with him or continue dating?

I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 34; It's never been a problem. We've had similar life experiences so we're both mature beyond our years, I think.

The issue I see with your situation is the man you saw right out lied to you. That's a trust and respect problem.

[Misty_Mystix]

umaybearies

Hi everybody. I have an issue that I want to get your ideas. I am 20 and I was (probably) dating with a guy. He lied to me about his age, he said he is 20s and when I learned that he is more than 30, I was frightened and stopped dating. First of all he lied to me and I am not close to forgive him. However, I don't want to be a smug girl. I just want to settle with him but I am still frightened, I can not speak. Because if I continue dating with my feelings, he will affect my future plans. He will ask to marry in near future even if I am still young and going to university. I will refuse him in high probability or ask to marry in distant future and he will blame me with heartbreaking.I can not deal with that chaos. (These are not possibility, will occure in near future, I am sure.)
I ask to you guys this questions: Is it bad to date someone ten years older than you? Is it possible to date with an elder love? And if you were in my shoes, how would you behave: stop dating, settle with him or continue dating?

it is perfectly fine to date someone 10 years older as long as you both are adults. If he lied to you about his age, that's a major red flag for someone who is willing to lie about themselves just to hook up with you or stay with you, which raises the question of "what else is he willing to lie about?"
You're young, why would you want to settle?

[tealoving]

So long as you are legal, then how old you date is entirely up to you. With regards to his age, his age itself did not bother me in the slightest. Rather, what concerns me is the fact that he lied about it. 10 years is quite a small gap compared to some, so yes, the lie is more significant than the age gap.