I'm bisexual but am having to only date guys....

[draculas_beyotch]

as my family will completely disown me. I feel trapped and it hurts when i start to get close to a girl i could have a relationship with. I've had two relationships with women and had to end both of them due to things getting too complicated with my family. i don't know what to do. part of me wants to tell my aunt(whom i live with) but she always makes homophobic comments towards women and i often have to just say nothing. My best friend is a lesbian and my aunt often sais things like "but whats even the point?"

[Moonshine All Over Me]

neutral How about you tell your aunt to shove it straight up her t**t and date whoever you want?

And what in the hell does 'she always makes homophobic comments towards women' mean?
Are you implying at all women are lesbians?
Is your aunt implying it?
What the hell?

[draculas_beyotch]

sorry, i more meant she makes comments about lesbians. And i cant tell her to shove it. if we fall out,i'm left homeless. Completely homeless.

[Moonshine All Over Me]

She can't just kick you out into the streets.

And I don't mean 'well how could she do that to her niece!?'
I mean the entire legal system would kick her a** for it.

Child abandonment. It is not tolerated in the United States and I'm fairly certain it is not tolerated in any developed nations.

[sjaiya]

are you a minor? if so, and your aunt has agreed to be responsible for you she can't just kick you out on the streets.
anyhow. gays and bisexuals risked their very lives to live out their sexual orientation. if you're not willing to stand up for what and who you are in this regard, i dare say you dont deserve to get what you want. either stand up for gay rights or go underground and keep it a secret and stop whining about it.

[draculas_beyotch]

im 18,so i'm not classed as a child and i live in England, so theirs not really a child abandonment thing. Youll just get sent into care if youre under 18 or moved into a doss house if youre over.Not a nice experiance for simply admitting your sexuality.

[draculas_beyotch]

thats a fair point but if youre in the situation its a lot harder to just go "ah frick you im gay". Certain things have to be taken into concideration and the fact my aunt has given up so much to have me living with her is not something i want to throw in her face.

[Moonshine All Over Me]

neutral She can still get in trouble for it.

If she is your legal guardian, she cannot leave you out in the streets.
And believe me, I know England's policies.
If you abandon someone that you have agreed to take care of until they move out (because they choose to, not because the guardian makes them) the legal system will pretty much skin you alive.

So, yeah, just admit it and tell your aunt to shove it in her dark, sticky, never-ending t**t-cavern. If she knows anything, she'll deal with it.

[X sansmerci]

You have two options: stay or go.
You can suck it up, make a plan to be in financial good shape by the time you're 18 so you can get out on your own, and either don't date girls or date in secret until then. (Variant: try to get some PFLAG s**t going down with your parents, if not with your extended family.)
You can date a girl openly, get kicked out/decide to just up and leave and spend the rest of your high school career in the foster care system.

[sjaiya]

simple to you maybe. there are people who have given up their lives, their dignity and their feeling of safety and security for this cause - it's hardly a simple thing.
you need to do some soul searching - you sound like a player - someone who just wants to play around with bisexuality, but aren't willing to suffer a little or fight for what you believe in. if it's truly in your heart to live open in the lifestyle nothing can stop you.
but you're already stumbling at the mere thought of losing your own private bathroom.
noone said that standing up for something would be easy.

[Moonshine All Over Me]

sjaiya

simple to you maybe. there are people who have given up their lives, their dignity and their feeling of safety and security for this cause - it's hardly a simple thing.
you need to do some soul searching - you sound like a player - someone who just wants to play around with bisexuality, but aren't willing to suffer a little or fight for what you believe in. if it's truly in your heart to live open in the lifestyle nothing can stop you.
but you're already stumbling at the mere thought of losing your own private bathroom.
noone said that standing up for something would be easy.

Why the hell does she have to become a gay rights activist?

I knew I was bi long before I started going to marches and protests.
You're being about the most selfish person I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. Maybe she doesn't believe that gays need the rights. Maybe she believes no one should have them. You can't tell her what she believes.
Just because she's bisexual does NOT mean she has to make a stand. You are basically telling her to give up possibly her entire life and anything resembling luxury she will ever have, because you think she believes something that she may very well not.
And living on the streets is damn well NOT worth fighting for it. Wanna know why?
It kills. It kills a hell of a lot more than anything else, when someone ends up on the streets because of things they cannot help.

She is eighteen ******** years old. She does not need to settle on one single person as you are suggesting she does. Not having one set partner they will stay with forever doesn't make someone a player. It makes them a person willing to live their life and not give up on the things that they have a chance at.

[Quatschi Watschi]

That's like basically how I felt when I was in high school.
I ended up just waiting till I moved out of the house to really start having the relationships that I wanted.
But while I was in school or wherever I was honest with everybody when they asked about me, just let it be clear about my family's views and such thus I couldn't be too open.

[draculas_beyotch]

sjaiya you are truly one of the worst kind of people their is. Thinking that youre all "for gay rights and activist movements,solving problems for people of varying sexual orientation". In actual fact if poeple listened to your advice theyd be a lot worse off. I was hoping for some sound advice on possibly how to broach things with my aunt. Not how to lose the only family i have. After being abandoned by both my mother and father and having years of moving houses for once i have stability that is giving me freedom to be myself. It's just wondering how to solve my issues with out upsetting the only person who has gave a damn about me in my life. Id say thats pretty considerate that id rather deny my sexuality to her than hurt her. Im not trying to be cowardly im just trying to maintain some sort of normal life.

[Moonshine All Over Me]

Well hun, if you're scared of losing her, just wait until you're out of the house to date girls.

Or, maybe just come out with it and let her know that it doesn't change you at all. My mom was homophobic, but about a month after I came out to her, she started going to marches with me.

Sometimes all it takes to break the fear or hatred of homosexuality/bisexuality is learning that a loved one prefers the same sex as a partner.

[draculas_beyotch]

thankyou to moonshine and quatschi, i'm a very open person normally. all my friends know of my orientation. its just the fact that relationships with women can only get so far before they fizzle. I cant bring them home, they cant meet my family, we cant have quality time in my own house and thats something i feel is important. you should be able to relax in the place you love with the person you care about.