I just had a friend cross a line.

[akiflower]

I've having a bit of financial trouble since it's the last of the month. My food stamps didn't go in this month and I can't get an appoint at my DSS to get it fixed until next month. I owe a friend $100 for a washer and dryer. I have the money to pay her. I refused to spend any of it so I could pay her, but I've not been able to get in touch in with her since I got paid last. She'd been ignoring my texts. So I texted her last night asking if I could give her $50 now and $50 when I get paid again on the 5th. So instead of just a simple yes or no she sends me this "Well, you were supposed to have done it last week..and considering you make more in a week than I do in a month, it's kind of hard for me to have much compassion as you might like". The she called me and yell at me because I asked her about the money.

I feel like she crossed a line and I'm not sure how to go about talking to her about it. I also feel a bit betrayed because everytime she;s asked me to do something for her or called crying I've always been there.

[AVeryHungryTiger]

Hi Akiflower,
Your friend does seem to be unreasonable. You seem very genuine with your offer of 50 now 50 next week. Most reasonable people would accept that given your circumstances. Maybe your friend has some other problems and is taking them out on you??

Try talking to her again, but if she yells again, its probably best not to approach her until you have the €100 in full.

To me, it seems like something in her life has gone wrong and she is taking it out on you.
As you said, you texted her many times but she ignored you. I don't think the money is the issue, I think she is just venting at you for some other unknown reason.

How long do you both know each other?

[King Shining Heaven]

Paying $50 now and 50 later sounds reasonable to me.

[akiflower]

AVeryHungryTiger

Hi Akiflower,
Your friend does seem to be unreasonable. You seem very genuine with your offer of 50 now 50 next week. Most reasonable people would accept that given your circumstances. Maybe your friend has some other problems and is taking them out on you??

Try talking to her again, but if she yells again, its probably best not to approach her until you have the €100 in full.

To me, it seems like something in her life has gone wrong and she is taking it out on you.
As you said, you texted her many times but she ignored you. I don't think the money is the issue, I think she is just venting at you for some other unknown reason.

How long do you both know each other?

That's the thing. I have the $100 bucks. It's not like I can't give it all to her.
I've known her for 4 yrs now.

[Jake_Cardigan]

It's difficult to take sides because you're both in financial hardship (she claimed you earn more in a week than she does in a month). Maybe send her a simple text saying you're there to listen if she wants to talk. Don't try to offer advice; just be there to listen to what she has to say. It might be that she is strugging and simply has no-one to seek help from.

There are no "lines" with true friends.

[akiflower]

Jake_Cardigan

It's difficult to take sides because you're both in financial hardship (she claimed you earn more in a week than she does in a month). Maybe send her a simple text saying you're there to listen if she wants to talk. Don't try to offer advice; just be there to listen to what she has to say. It might be that she is strugging and simply has no-one to seek help from.

There are no "lines" with true friends.

It's starting to seem like it's one sided though. When she called me asking me to help her move I was right there. When she went to court for being a stalker to her last BF, I was there no questions asked. I've never asked her for anything. I understand having money issues but she doesn't know my bills. Just because I work more does not mean I have more.

[AVeryHungryTiger]

akiflower

That's the thing. I have the $100 bucks. It's not like I can't give it all to her.
I've known her for 4 yrs now.

Oh your friend has no excuse for treating you that way, I don't thinks its you akiflower, I guess there is something else wrong and she is just venting out at someone. Give her time to cool off and then try calling her. Maybe let her call you.

Did you guys ever fall out before over small matters? Or is this the 1st time?

[akiflower]

AVeryHungryTiger

akiflower

That's the thing. I have the $100 bucks. It's not like I can't give it all to her.
I've known her for 4 yrs now.

Oh your friend has no excuse for treating you that way, I don't thinks its you akiflower, I guess there is something else wrong and she is just venting out at someone. Give her time to cool off and then try calling her. Maybe let her call you.

Did you guys ever fall out before over small matters? Or is this the 1st time?

One time and that was because she though I was trying to steal her Bf and that was years ago.

[Alexander J Luthor]

She sounds like a c**t who's trying to start s**t now that money has finally gotten involved in your relationship. I'd suggest not giving her money at all, write a check and keep a copy of it for future use. Don't trust a b***h who ignores your attempts to finish a deal, then gets pissed off when you can't finish the deal after so much waiting.

If you look up the definition of Drama, chances are you'll find a picture of her and a transcript of this situation.

[Jake_Cardigan]

It's starting to seem like it's one sided though. When she called me asking me to help her move I was right there. When she went to court for being a stalker to her last BF, I was there no questions asked. I've never asked her for anything. I understand having money issues but she doesn't know my bills. Just because I work more does not mean I have more.

You sound like a genuinely nice person.

Is there any chance you two can sit down over a coffee to sort this out?

[akiflower]

Alexander J Luthor

She sounds like a c**t who's trying to start s**t now that money has finally gotten involved in your relationship. I'd suggest not giving her money at all, write a check and keep a copy of it for future use. Don't trust a b***h who ignores your attempts to finish a deal, then gets pissed off when you can't finish the deal after so much waiting.

If you look up the definition of Drama, chances are you'll find a picture of her and a transcript of this situation.

I sent her a message telling her to come get her s**t.

[Starcrossedsky]

Frankly, she's being a s**t. You keep trying to get in contact with you, and she doesn't respond until you have to pay the money in parts? And then responds only to be a s**t about it?

That's... not quite end of friendship material, but definitely "pay her off and then ignore her for a while" material. If she's that desperate for cash, then why isn't she like "oh hell yeah" to any money at all?

In short: Not your bad at all. She's behaving pretty awfully.

[Naughty Thots]

lol dont pay the b***h she sounds like a c**t. heart

[II Earl Grey II]

Actually to me it seems like you are the one who crossed the line. I have come to understand a lot of people are raised with different values about money, but to me when I loan money to a friend and they don't promptly and fully pay it back it feels essentially like they are stealing from me. I know now that a lot of people view it differently, but I also know a lot of people who feel the same way I do.

It's not necessarily about whether you are right or wrong, it is about the way your friend takes it. From the perspective of a person who thinks in a similar way you are basically punishing your friend for doing a good deed for you. Over time this is a thought they will have in the back of your mind, and eventually just explode like this.

I can't be certain if this is the case, but I've been through a lot of this kind of thing back in college, so I know it is possible. At least I am trying to give a reason to not be mad at your friend.

Also, again speaking from someone who views money in a stricter way, your topic is basically about you being mad at your friend for wanting the money that you owe them. Objectively speaking that's kind of a horrible thing for you to say.