Have your friendships survived through your relationships?

[Zultim]

So LD do you believe relationships ruin close friendships?
No. It's the friend who ruins the friendship.

My example: I was best friends with one girl in highschool. Then she got a boyfriend. Long story short, she became a crappy friend and I want nothing to do with her. I love seeing her lonely posts on Facebook.

She was an example of how a friend could ruin the friendship.

I had another friend. She got a boyfriend, started a family, got married...and we STILL talk/hang out. Relationships do not ruin friendships. Crappy friends do.

[sarahwilla]

Relation ships ruins friendship specially with opposite gender. it happened with me , its just because of possessiveness of the partner

[xX Learning 2 Fly Xx]

I went through something like that in high school, but i had no boyfriend at that time. Then i went through it during college and having a boyfriend. Don't let it get to you, even though its really hard to do and easy to say, but just make new friends now and learn to balance both out in the long run.

First time, i just gave up on the small group of friends i had in Junior year, senior year i just did my own stuff and hung out with other groups of friends and reconnected with her years later. Then we just stopped talking to each other out of nowhere, this happened when i was in college and had a boyfriend. Dunno, it just happens. Just balance it out if it occurs again or so.

[The Neon Paradox]

No my relationship never did that. I'm still really good friends with a girl I met when I was 11.

I lost contact with many friends, but it was never my relationship that caused it.
It was mainly because I moved away to go to university and they couldn't be bothered with me anymore, plus growing up and becoming an adult.

[jntdx]

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, ever since the end of freshmen and sophmore year, and I have to say, I actually lost a lot of friends (I still had other friends but the circle got smaller) but I don't think it's due to my relationship but it was one of the reasions and to elaborate:

1) My "friends" became very clingy and negative. They constantly would say things such as "I liked it better when you were single,", "You can do better",

3) If I were to make an effort, I didn't feel welcomed anymore.

3) Behind my back, they would start flirting with my boyfriend or trying to get in between our relationship. (Example: One of them invited my boyfriend to her house, and he later asked me "Why are we going over to T's house?" I responded by saying "We aren;t? What are you talking about?" I had no knowledge of this until he told me.)

4) We were not the same people and we wanted different things.

[Kitty Bear Chama]

I've been dating my boyfriend for over 4 years and I do admit I have lost some friends that I had considered to be close with. One of my friends apparently liked me and wouldn't do anything about it until I got with my boyfriend. He even told me he started dating another girl that reminded him of me and told me about the sex dreams he's had of me and that made me feel uncomfortable. Needless to say we stopped talking as my boyfriend told him off after I told him that.
I cut my friendship off with another guy when he tried to kiss me knowing I was dating and so I told my boyfriend what happened and yeah.. Another friend tried to convince me to stop dating my boyfriend because he felt that he wasn't right for me and I could do better. When he kept pursuing that, I cut him off.

I don't regret not having them as friends anymore. I have other close friends who keep me happy and will stay by my side as I to them.

[Phenothiazines]

I lost most of my friendships when I got into a relationship with my current boyfriend mostly because he didn't approve of them.

[DivineHate]

Its kind of given that once someone finds a significant other that they would spend a lot more time with them than the friend. True friends would understand that and they wouldnt just walk away.

Me and my best friend both have boyfriends. We dont really see each other that often anymore, but does that mean we are not good friends anymore? Absolutely not, we still look out for each other when ever one of us is in trouble.

You could always invite your friend when you and your boyfriend hangout. Get them to know each other. Might not work, but its worth a try.

[freelance lover]

Relationships only ruin friendships if you let them. I think, at some point, everyone goes through a phase where your significant other starts taking up more time that they used to, and it cuts into friend time. I know I had a phase when I would leave events early or blow them off to hang out with my partner. I sort of regret that now, because I feel like I missed out on opportunities to connect with friends and really, I don't think spending less time with my partner would have hurt our relationship. Now we have a pretty healthy balance, but it seems like all couples go through that "really into each other" phase and then move on.

You just have to learn to make time for people who are important to you.

[BeautifuI Mystery]

Yes, unless you make the effort to keep those friendships super close.

[Thine Wicht]

Reading your anecdote, your relationship with your infatuation didn't ruin anything. You did. You ignored your friend who was making an effort to hold your attention, because you were too wrapped up in this boy. You didn't know how to properly divide your attention and appropriate interests, and now you have a "hi-bye" buddy on the side now that he's gone.

Romantic relationships do not ruin friendships if the common denominator--you--do your best to cater to everyone you hold dear, if it is in your best interest to. If it isn't in your best interest to, by general opinion or objectively, then it is either the friend or the lover who is alienating themselves, and thus becomes the one who "ruins."

Otherwise, duh, they can coexist.

[Chieftain Twilight]

having a signoficant other does nt inherently ruin friendships, or even diminish them. different people react differently, and the most mature and favourable result is that you can maintain your close friendships and your romantic relationships. though that doesn't always mean that everyone you are close to have to be close to eachother.

freedom of association.

[Icebatlover]

You have to work to maintain your closest friendships when you're in a relationship, that's for sure. But when you're really trying, your friends should see that you're making an effort to keep them in your life, appreciate that effort, reciprocate it, and then be a little understanding when you slip up. Things change when one friend enters a relationship and the other friend is still single.

Some friends may be jealous and upset with you. And while those feelings are normal in this situation, the people who are your real friends, while they might get annoyed with you, will still be there when you come out of "honeymoon" phase. True friends won't accuse you of ditching them for a boyfriend/girlfriend, and then pay you back by turning their backs on you. That's hypocrisy.

That being said, it is good not to go missing or become negligent to others when you enter a relationship. Those other relationships in your life are still very important - where are you going to turn if your relationship doesn't work out but you've let your friendships fall away? Friendships, like any living thing, will die if you don't take care of them. But as long as you make an honest effort not to make everything in your life revolve around your relationship, and you're still good to the people in your life, your friends should understand if you have less free time for them, etc.

[Tune as old as Song]

No I don't think they do.
It's just a natural part of life moving on. Making new friends
that you can relate to at that particular point in your life.
Every now and then 2 people become friends and stay friends
for life as they both put equal amounts of effort to maintain the friendship.
Most of the time people grow apart though and that's ok.
Doesn't mean your not still friends at heart.