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freelance lover

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Post: 93383181_31 created on Mon, 28 Jul 2014 02:19:33 +0000
Posted: Mon, 28 Jul 2014 02:19:33 +0000

So many people just aren't patient. You're young. There's still so much time to meet your life partner. Enjoy the ride in the mean time!

Bars are generally not a good place to find a long term partner. Both of you are drunk, it's dark, and a lot of people are just looking to hookup. People seeking long term relationships don't usually troll bars. Try joining some social groups for people with the same interests as you. That's a good place to start.

My partner and I met through mutual friends. We were both studying theatre in college and got along. It just sort of happened, neither of us were really looking. But we're very well suited. Sometimes it just takes time and patience.

Rishnea

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Post: 93383181_33 created on Mon, 28 Jul 2014 03:25:55 +0000
Posted: Mon, 28 Jul 2014 03:25:55 +0000

Nightmare277

Rishnea

just a quick toss in, there are women out there, who are looking for a mate/partner, and are what most people consider 'boring/traditional/out of date' with their values wink I personally dont do the date aimlessly/hang out thing that seems so popular now, ive always been highly family and long haul oriented. Its a preference i suppose

I know because i am one such woman, and i can say that you are right, that the bar/club scene is generally the wrong place to look for a woman like that. People are spot on though with suggestions, as generic as they might seem, go places and attend events for things you already and enjoy. Try taking some hobby classes, like a photography class etc. You will at least make some friends!

I think I need a road trip. This city is tiny.

i had to do the same myself, I grew up in a very tiny town. I had experiences, made and lost friends, had some relationships along the way, i moved a couple times over the years and am now in a larger city, about three or so hours away from my home town. I met the guy that is just 'perfect' for me though, we are of the goals and mindset and i couldnt be happier.

Also dont go with someone hoping that you could change them into being closer to what you need out of a partner, it doesnt work. been there, done that. User Image

Wako Smitty no Yuuku

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Post: 93383181_35 created on Mon, 28 Jul 2014 03:45:09 +0000
Posted: Mon, 28 Jul 2014 03:45:09 +0000

Values, eh? Try Craigslist>Detroit>Personals>Casual Encounters. pirate

Nightmare277

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Post: 93383181_37 created on Mon, 28 Jul 2014 03:55:35 +0000
Posted: Mon, 28 Jul 2014 03:55:35 +0000

Rishnea

Nightmare277

Rishnea

just a quick toss in, there are women out there, who are looking for a mate/partner, and are what most people consider 'boring/traditional/out of date' with their values wink I personally dont do the date aimlessly/hang out thing that seems so popular now, ive always been highly family and long haul oriented. Its a preference i suppose

I know because i am one such woman, and i can say that you are right, that the bar/club scene is generally the wrong place to look for a woman like that. People are spot on though with suggestions, as generic as they might seem, go places and attend events for things you already and enjoy. Try taking some hobby classes, like a photography class etc. You will at least make some friends!

I think I need a road trip. This city is tiny.

i had to do the same myself, I grew up in a very tiny town. I had experiences, made and lost friends, had some relationships along the way, i moved a couple times over the years and am now in a larger city, about three or so hours away from my home town. I met the guy that is just 'perfect' for me though, we are of the goals and mindset and i couldnt be happier.

Also dont go with someone hoping that you could change them into being closer to what you need out of a partner, it doesnt work. been there, done that. User Image

I don't have a choice. I'm locked up in this small town for a while until Uncle Sam sends me some where else.

Chieftain Twilight

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Post: 93383181_39 created on Mon, 28 Jul 2014 04:12:14 +0000
Posted: Mon, 28 Jul 2014 04:12:14 +0000

Nightmare277

Chieftain Twilight

I should probably go on my usual spiel about Love and such.... but I'm tired. and somehow, I doubt he'll take my advice seriously, anyway.

Taking advice and consideration are two different things. I'd appreciate any and all insight you'd have to offer.

alright, you have a point. I'll share what I've got.

first off, I think it should be noted that the idea of finding a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship is a completely backwards way of doing things. it is the sort of behavior and expectations that are "normal" in our society, and that's part of the problem. people think of relationships as status symbols, rather than being concerned with what a quality relationship is.

I think it would be best for you to stay single for a while, and learn to develop a relationship with yourself, first. get to know yourself. discover what your needs, desires, and goals are. learn what you do and don't like. be yourself. be happy with yourself, without needing anybody else to make you happy.

after that, you'll be in a much healthier position for forming meaningful relationships with other people. you can learn to match your goals and needs with their goals and needs. learn to take into account compatibility, and to be on the same page as whoever you are considering for a life partner.

and learn to take things slowly. Love isn't found; it's grown.

Love is like a Garden. it takes constant work and communication, for both people involved. you have to till the earth, and sow the seeds. feed it, and prune the rotten and tangled bits. foster a healthy environment to support it with. and if at any point you stop putting in all that effort, it will wither and die.

and to be honest, I think that's what's so beautiful about it. that it's a product of hard work. that the longer it lasts, the more proud of it you should be. because that means that you are both still working so hard to maintain it, and can harvest it' fruits together.

think about Trees, for a minute. the branches reach out to the sky, mingling with eachother, forming a network of a canopy. each branch full of leaves to catch the light, and yet none of them get in eachother's way. all the while, they create homes and highways for animals to live and move in harmony.

meanwhile, the roots grow down and outward, twisting together, tangling up until you can't tell which tree they originally came from anymore. they create support for eachother, as well as feeding the trees. they are stronger together.

the trees breath in carbon dioxide and expel oxygen, while the animals breath in oxygen and expel carbon dioxide. it's a harmonious, symbiotic system.

and that is how Love should be. just let it happen, naturally, but put in the hard work. don't think of it as some sort of puzzle piece that you fit in and it's done. because that's not what love is.

I want to add one of my favourite quotes. this one is very important.

if you love a flower, don't pluck it.
because if you pluck it, it dies.
love is about appreciation, not possession.

Nightmare277

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Post: 93383181_41 created on Tue, 29 Jul 2014 00:29:38 +0000
Posted: Tue, 29 Jul 2014 00:29:38 +0000

Chieftain Twilight

Nightmare277

Chieftain Twilight

I should probably go on my usual spiel about Love and such.... but I'm tired. and somehow, I doubt he'll take my advice seriously, anyway.

Taking advice and consideration are two different things. I'd appreciate any and all insight you'd have to offer.

alright, you have a point. I'll share what I've got.

first off, I think it should be noted that the idea of finding a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship is a completely backwards way of doing things. it is the sort of behavior and expectations that are "normal" in our society, and that's part of the problem. people think of relationships as status symbols, rather than being concerned with what a quality relationship is.

I think it would be best for you to stay single for a while, and learn to develop a relationship with yourself, first. get to know yourself. discover what your needs, desires, and goals are. learn what you do and don't like. be yourself. be happy with yourself, without needing anybody else to make you happy.

after that, you'll be in a much healthier position for forming meaningful relationships with other people. you can learn to match your goals and needs with their goals and needs. learn to take into account compatibility, and to be on the same page as whoever you are considering for a life partner.

and learn to take things slowly. Love isn't found; it's grown.

Love is like a Garden. it takes constant work and communication, for both people involved. you have to till the earth, and sow the seeds. feed it, and prune the rotten and tangled bits. foster a healthy environment to support it with. and if at any point you stop putting in all that effort, it will wither and die.

and to be honest, I think that's what's so beautiful about it. that it's a product of hard work. that the longer it lasts, the more proud of it you should be. because that means that you are both still working so hard to maintain it, and can harvest it' fruits together.

think about Trees, for a minute. the branches reach out to the sky, mingling with eachother, forming a network of a canopy. each branch full of leaves to catch the light, and yet none of them get in eachother's way. all the while, they create homes and highways for animals to live and move in harmony.

meanwhile, the roots grow down and outward, twisting together, tangling up until you can't tell which tree they originally came from anymore. they create support for eachother, as well as feeding the trees. they are stronger together.

the trees breath in carbon dioxide and expel oxygen, while the animals breath in oxygen and expel carbon dioxide. it's a harmonious, symbiotic system.

and that is how Love should be. just let it happen, naturally, but put in the hard work. don't think of it as some sort of puzzle piece that you fit in and it's done. because that's not what love is.

I want to add one of my favourite quotes. this one is very important.

if you love a flower, don't pluck it.
because if you pluck it, it dies.
love is about appreciation, not possession.

To start with I was actually pondering about stopping. Not to contradict myself but even in the past parents would push their children much like myself to find a mate. Now I actually really did enjoy reading your comment. It was very inspiring and makes A LOT of sense. It's probably what I'll do. I mean, it's partly because I can't really connect with people here. But the other part of me really wants intamicey. Not this one night stand mumbo jumbo.
Some of the people I work with think I'm gay. A portion is because I don't watch porn. For some odd reason I feel more attracted to someone because of personality over lust. I guess I'm abnormal.