CONVERSATION flunky

[immafairyprincess]

So basically, I noticed after liking this guy for over 2 years, and never being able to talk to him normally(with out sounding like an idiot, freaking him out, awkward silences, etc.) I've started to think "I can't start or have normal conversation".. I used to be more talkative, but I've toned down a lot... I've started asking people boring questions more often, like "how was your weekend, how was your day, did he have hw, etc.) I hate it, I want to be interesting.. that's my fear of talking to this boy, mostly.. if I think about awkward silences around my own friends sometimes, almost all the time actually... then I will NEVER be able to talk to this boy.. he's been in my class all year and I only have 5 weeks left to be close enough friends.. or even friends at ALL. He KNOWS me, due to me embarassing myself around him 2 years ago, and I've ATTEMPTED to start a conversation.. but then it just stopped...

"be yourself"? no s**t. I can't TRY to be someone else if I tried.
"don't think about it" that makes me think of it more.

Every day now lately it's eating me away that I can't talk to this boy and will never be able to be with him. And I am one of the most paranoid people ever. My friends see it, everyone sees it.. I'm always worried he's judging what I'm talking about and thinking "ugh she likes me again I bet.. she's being awkward again, etc." and when I did try to talk to him and said a couple of things, I think I heard him talking to one of his friends about it because he mentioned the CLASS we're in..


HELP PLEASE ONLY A LIMITED TIME LEFT before I don't see him for a whole summer, and I DOUBT he'll be in any of my classes, he's a year younger than me and I'll be taking classes for my specific grade..

cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry

[sofa king sweaty]

You shouldn't worry about it so much. You'll never impress him if you're too self conscious. Just remember almost everyone has felt the way you do at some point, and that whatever you think of to say is worth hearing if you have feeling behind it.