closed.

Can men and women be 'just friends'?

Yes	72.0%	[ 54 ]
No	16.0%	[ 12 ]
Dont know, dont care, why am I here?	12.0%	[ 9 ]
Total Votes:			[ 75 ]

[xO-MULE-Ox]

Personally, ive never believed it to be possible but ive stayed open to the idea. Recent experiences have made it clear to me though that its IMPOSSIBLE. You can put up numerous boundries and even verbalise the fact that youre not interested in more but at the end of the day one of the two parties will develop feelings.

What do you think? I want to believe it possible but have only had negative experiences in the past :c

[MistressEnvy]

I'ts very possible. Nearly all of my closest friends are men. They're all like my brothers.

[Lady Crumpet]

They can but I think there's always one who thinks the other is attractive. Even though they would never do anything about it and you remain friends always there is the initial fancying going on there.

[xO-MULE-Ox]

MistressEnvy

I'ts very possible. Nearly all of my closest friends are men. They're all like my brothers.

I dont understand what I am doing wrong then. Its incredibly frustrating to slowly let guys in only for them to suddenly start treating me differently : / What would you guess im doing wrong? What do you do to avoid the growing feelings side of things?

[xO-MULE-Ox]

Lady Crumpet

They can but I think there's always one who thinks the other is attractive. Even though they would never do anything about it and you remain friends always there is the initial fancying going on there.

When you notice that a guy is treating you differently, do you ever address it? Or do you just accept that they feel that way and let things go because you both know there will never be anything more between you?

[Wigwam the Dodo]

Is it possible to be in the company of the opposite sex and enjoy it, without ever developing a romantic or sexual attraction?

No
It's ******** impossible
never in the history of mankind has such a crazy idea ever been attempted
Don't be daft. You put a man and a woman in the same room together and it's only a matter of time until they start to ********, obviously. They cannot resist it.

No in all seriousness it's not even something that's really up for debate. It's only thought to be impossible by people who have sex on the mind too often for one reason or another, and are essentially always looking to get laid. It's not incredibly likely, no. To enjoy the company of someone is usually a precursor to getting sticky with them anyhow, so ofcourse it's very common that this would result in further development of feelings and such, but no. It's entirely possible, especially amongst people who aren't looking for a partner or a ********.

This is ofc ruling out someone confusing strong platonic bonds with feelings of romance and attraction, and THEN it gets to the question of can FWB and all that s**t and THAT brings it back around to Sex on the brain and it all goes around and around and around in the soupy mess that is the human psyche.

In short: If you make friends that aren't horny teens or sexually charged people, you will likely find romantic or sexual feelings don't tend to develop.

[Lady Crumpet]

xO-MULE-Ox

Lady Crumpet

They can but I think there's always one who thinks the other is attractive. Even though they would never do anything about it and you remain friends always there is the initial fancying going on there.

When you notice that a guy is treating you differently, do you ever address it? Or do you just accept that they feel that way and let things go because you both know there will never be anything more between you?

I'm crap at things like that so I just ignore it and pretend not to notice. It hasn't always worked out well.. I have a bf at the moment so it's easier to ignore but when i was single it did kill a couple of friendships. Just too awkward... They'd make a pass or something and then yeah.. never the same again after that is it.

[MistressEnvy]

xO-MULE-Ox

MistressEnvy

I'ts very possible. Nearly all of my closest friends are men. They're all like my brothers.

I dont understand what I am doing wrong then. Its incredibly frustrating to slowly let guys in only for them to suddenly start treating me differently : / What would you guess im doing wrong? What do you do to avoid the growing feelings side of things?

You're probably not doing anything wrong. Men do that, the moment thaat they start to have feelings for you and if you're they're friend and make it awkward, and weird.

Just tell them, that you just want to be friends and to stop treating you so differently. I did and it worked great for me. BUt everybody handles things different so.

[xO-MULE-Ox]

Wigwam the Dodo

In that case im really looking forward to being older : / Im 23 and find that this is a problem that regularly comes up when around guys my own age. I have one fantastic male friend but he is married so I guess like you said it removes that whole sexual side of things completely.

Would you say its rare to find men that are single (lets say under 35) that arent constantly looking for more than friendship?

[Wigwam the Dodo]

xO-MULE-Ox

MistressEnvy

I'ts very possible. Nearly all of my closest friends are men. They're all like my brothers.

I dont understand what I am doing wrong then. Its incredibly frustrating to slowly let guys in only for them to suddenly start treating me differently : / What would you guess im doing wrong? What do you do to avoid the growing feelings side of things?

Seems you're presenting to these guys a better woman than they're used to having, if they have one at all. Not really something you can do much about besides be less feminine or some s**t, maybe.

They're developing feelings because those feelings aren't being satisfied by someone else at the time.

[Wigwam the Dodo]

xO-MULE-Ox

Wigwam the Dodo

In that case im really looking forward to being older : / Im 23 and find that this is a problem that regularly comes up when around guys my own age. I have one fantastic male friend but he is married so I guess like you said it removes that whole sexual side of things completely.

Would you say its rare to find men that are single (lets say under 35) that arent constantly looking for more than friendship?

Probably is kinda rare, yes.

If you really want to find an age-group where it's common that a man won't be looking for a romance or a ********, you're gonna have to swoos into the retiree market. Elsewise, your best option is to somehow sniff out the romantically disinclined and the sexually uninterested.

No idea how you do that.

[xO-MULE-Ox]

Lady Crumpet

Exactly :c

Ive tried to confront it and bring it up in a direct manner once and that didnt go down well, I essentially had to shoot them down before anything had happened and it just made things horribly awkward.

On another occassion i just left things and waited for him to say something first but that just made things awkward because everyone could tell he wanted more but he ever said anything so it but me in a bad spot where i was constantly second guessing what i was doing just to make sure i wouldnt encourage him : /

[xO-MULE-Ox]

MistressEnvy

Would you confront them about it before they have actually said anything? As in their behaviour clearly shows that they treat you differently but they never actually verbalise it.

Ive tried the direct approach and ive tried the indirect one where you just slowly cut contact to a bare minimum. Both ended horribly : /

[xO-MULE-Ox]

Wigwam the Dodo

Im just sick of constantly worry about whether i have spoken too much to one guy or whether i can sit next to one without it coming across as special attention. Can i go out once every week or two for a coffee with a guy friend without it being seen as a come on? I worried about this at one stage, told a guy friend and he said that its perfectly fine and that i was being stupid for worrying about it. 6 months on and this is the guy who im having issues with now : /

[xO-MULE-Ox]

Wigwam the Dodo

Haha well i have considered just being friends with married guys because its already off the table but i also realise that its a stupid and unrealistic idea :p

I get along well with guys but hate that this issue keeps coming up when i am consciously working to avoid it.