Cheating (a Survey)

[A Few Loose Screws]

So, I tried coming up with a survey that was relevant to social interaction among lovers of all kinds in general, for my culture appreciation class. The professor suggested I do this online, since people are more open to discussing it when they have the mask of the internet to hide behind. I TRIED going around asking people in public, but all I really got were one sided rants, red faces, or awkward silence.

So I'll try it here.

I'm actually gathering information from this survey on multiple social sites, not just gaiaonline. Since avatar sites are becoming the place to be, I decided to use those instead of sites like facebook and twitter.

My topic is infidelity in general, man or woman, or both.. Gender is no barrier, this can apply to anyone.

Basically, this is something no one's done yet in my college class, so I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Please, give me your honest opinions, I'm very interested in what everyone has to say on the subject.

THIS SURVEY IS ONLY ABOUT MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIPS, NOT POLY, FOR NOW, SINGLE PARTNER RELATIONSHIPS HERE, IT NARROWS DOWN THE INCOMING DATA SO THAT I DONT GET FLOODED.

I will be making a separate survey in a month or so for poly relationships and such.


Opinions tallied so far: 18
( I don't have the energy to reply, ish tired, but all your opinions will be noted and filed away for reference. There are no wrong or right answers to this survey, answer any way you wish, I am an unbiased person to share them with. thank you!)



Rules:

No sexual/racial harassment, no caps please....no flooding. There are consequences to all of these.

And people, do not feed the trolls. You can be certain they'll appear on here sooner or later, just ignore them, or if you really want to reply, kill them with kindness. Trolls leave when there's no meat.


(Oh, and trolls..... just know that your responses will not be included in the results, when you troll, since troller comments are not relevant to the topic.)


(IF YOU WISH TO KEEP YOUR ANSWERS CONFIDENTIAL, PM ME YOUR RESPONSE TO THE SURVEY.)

All private responses will be just that, private.

Thank you.


-------------------------0

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again? Y/N, list reasons if you have any

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater? Y/N

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation? Y/N

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity? Y/N

6.) If yes, how so?

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on?

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone? Y/N

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?


Thank you for participating in this survey.

[AbsurdEffigy]

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again? Y/N, list reasons if you have any
Yes

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater? Y/N
Yes

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation? Y/N
No, only if the person practices non-monogamy openly

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?
NA

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity? Y/N
No

6.) If yes, how so?
NA

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on?
I've been cheated on. I knew he was that kind of guy when I got with him. However, we had a non-monogamous relationship, so the terms were a little different. I forgave him, since sleeping with other women wasn't the actual problem.

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone? Y/N
Yes and I guard that secret IRL with my life

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?
Well, it felt kinda shitty. I don't regret it though.

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?
Non-monogamy/Polyamory is a thing, please include it. And if you don't know how or whatever feel free to ask me.

[caalllup]

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again? Yes, I think that it's the thrill of it. It's like chasing the dragon.

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater? Yes, emotional.

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation? Yes: bisexuals are often times seen as "sex-maniacs" who can't commit to anyone. Another generalization is that of the male gay community.

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are? I don't think that any given gender/sexual orientation is prone to cheating more than others.

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity? No.

6.) If yes, how so?

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on? I would leave them because it means that they don't respect me as a person.

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone? No

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?

[A Few Loose Screws]

AbsurdEffigy

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again? Y/N, list reasons if you have any
Yes

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater? Y/N
Yes

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation? Y/N
No, only if the person practices non-monogamy openly

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?
NA

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity? Y/N
No

6.) If yes, how so?
NA

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on?
I've been cheated on. I knew he was that kind of guy when I got with him. However, we had a non-monogamous relationship, so the terms were a little different. I forgave him, since sleeping with other women wasn't the actual problem.

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone? Y/N
Yes and I guard that secret IRL with my life

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?
Well, it felt kinda shitty. I don't regret it though.

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?
Non-monogamy/Polyamory is a thing, please include it. And if you don't know how or whatever feel free to ask me.

Hmm, if its non monogamy, I'm not certain it falls under this category for this particular survey. This is for monogamous relationships, not open relationships. Cheating (in the case of this specific survey) is when you take multiple partners when you have committed to one. I'll probably do a survey about multiple person relationships+ cheating on my next project, but that'll have to wait until the summer, when I take my next class. Thank you for your feedback though, I've copied it down. :3

[A Few Loose Screws]

caalllup

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again? Yes, I think that it's the thrill of it. It's like chasing the dragon.

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater? Yes, emotional.

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation? Yes: bisexuals are often times seen as "sex-maniacs" who can't commit to anyone. Another generalization is that of the male gay community.

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are? I don't think that any given gender/sexual orientation is prone to cheating more than others.

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity? No.

6.) If yes, how so?

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on? I would leave them because it means that they don't respect me as a person.

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone? No

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?

Thanks for the feedback, it's been added to my notes! n v n)/

(is a speed typer)

[user 15756213]

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again?
-yes

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater? Y/N
-no

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation?
-hm.. i dont really think so, not that i have any.

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?
n/a

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity?
yes, although maybe not so much race.

6.) If yes, how so?
i think a lot depends on how you are brought up, which can relate to social standing/class. more neglected children tend to grow up thinking it's alright to cheat or do things like this, at least in my opinion.

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on?
i dont think it would bother me honestly, but mostly because i'm not really that much of a romance person to begin with, if a relationship actually meant a lot to me, then it would bother me, at least to some extent.

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone?
no

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?
n/a

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?
hmm... whoever cheats probably thinks their s/o would never find out...? sweatdrop

[Inscriven]

The Official Lurker

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again? Y/N, list reasons if you have any

That depends on the person. That depends on what their motivation was to cheat on the first place. Sometimes it's insecurity and fear just as much as it is pride and conquest.

Quote:

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater? Y/N

No. Those are people who enjoy the process of courtship, and not the relationship itself. You can't cheat when you don't have a relationship to begin with.

Quote:

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation? Y/N

Quote:

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?

Yes, while male infidelity is viewed as overwhelmingly negative, media portrayal of female infidelity is oddly positive. It communicates if you don't get what you want, then you should be allowed to cheat to get it. Bridges of Madison County and Sleepless in Seattle are examples of where the woman cheated on their partner and they get little to no punishment or judgment for their betrayal cause it's all "Yo go girl" even though, one of the guys only crime was being "Boring".

Quote:

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity? Y/N

Quote:

6.) If yes, how so?

I think so, but it would moreso affect the aftermath than something that encourages it. Lower income people will probably endure infidelity more because they need to keep the unit together as a matter of survival. Wealhier people who are not codependent on their partners have the luxury of leaving.

Quote:

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on?

Talk about the situation, motivations, needs, expectations and desires, and see if it could be resolved, open up the relationship, or just dissolve it.

Quote:

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone? Y/N

Yes

Quote:

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?

It eats you up from the inside. Keeping up appearances and holding lies from your partner is like holding a bottle of acid that's slowly eating away at it's container. Putting you in a permanent state of anxiety and stress with a shadow constantly at your back While trying to shield yourself, and the other person from the pain of your own mistakes. It's a horrible way to live.

[Marquessa_De_SadeFW]

The Official Lurker

So, I tried coming up with a survey that was relevant to social interaction among lovers of all kinds in general, for my culture appreciation class. The professor suggested I do this online, since people are more open to discussing it when they have the mask of the internet to hide behind. I TRIED going around asking people in public, but all I really got were one sided rants, red faces, or awkward silence.

So I'll try it here.

I'm actually gathering information from this survey on multiple social sites, not just gaiaonline. Since avatar sites are becoming the place to be, I decided to use those instead of sites like facebook and twitter.

My topic is infidelity in general, man or woman, or both.. Gender is no barrier, this can apply to anyone.

Basically, this is something no one's done yet in my college class, so I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Please, give me your honest opinions, I'm very interested in what everyone has to say on the subject.



Rules:

No sexual/racial harassment, no caps please....no flooding. There are consequences to all of these.

And people, do not feed the trolls. You can be certain they'll appear on here sooner or later, just ignore them, or if you really want to reply, kill them with kindness. Trolls leave when there's no meat.


(Oh, and trolls..... just know that your responses will not be included in the results, when you troll, since troller comments are not relevant to the topic.)


(IF YOU WISH TO KEEP YOUR ANSWERS CONFIDENTIAL, PM ME YOUR RESPONSE TO THE SURVEY.)

All private responses will be just that, private.

Thank you.


-------------------------0

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again? Y/N, list reasons if you have any

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater? Y/N

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation? Y/N

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity? Y/N

6.) If yes, how so?

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on?

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone? Y/N

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?


Thank you for participating in this survey.

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again? YES, A person that sees nothing wrong with it once...will do so again due to the perception that it is still not wrong. Or not "wrong enough" to warrant changing behaviour.

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater? Yes

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation? I do not think so. I have had gay friends get just as hurt by it as hetero friends do.

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity? YES

6.) If yes, how so? Some cultures do not value monogamy as other cultures or religions do. In those cases it is not the same as "cheating" in the conventional sense. Just like a Poly relationship may not see multiple partners are cheating but a "traditional" relationship(only two people involved) may.

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on? Leave them.

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone? NO

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add? It really is based on the relationship and the boundaries they set forth. To some emotional infidelity is worse then a "one night stand". People in the relationship need to communicate what those boundaries are and to respect them

[Alexander J Luthor]

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again?
Yes. They obviously can't control their genitalia, and many don't want to.

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater?
Uh, YEAH. Whorishness is not gender exclusive.

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation?
Not to me. I don't expect anyone to cheat unless they've either done so before or act as if it's a fine and dandy thing.

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity?
No, it just affects how well you hide it.

6.) If yes, how so?

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on?
I HAVE been cheated on. I called that slut a slutty slut-slut and ran, then got tested.

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone?
Nope. I am not that much of an a*****e.

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?
A.) "Cheating" in a consensual open relationship is fine. Anyone who would try to pursue a relationship like this when their partner wants to remain exclusive should indeed be punched in the face, or separate.

B.) Were the rants you faced slut shaming everyone, or were they conversely people who think that they should be allowed any level of promiscuity without being judged? I do so love reading those rampages.

[casuaI racism]

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again?
Yes and No, it could really go either way. Some will learn their lesson and realize that it isn't the best thing to do, and some may just keep doing it because that's how they are.

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater?
Most definitely

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation?
Yes, sadly. It's always a feud between Guys and Girls when it comes to stuff like this, it just keeps going back and forth, but in the end it's the same result for everyone. Bad.

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?
Girls will say that guys are such pigs and they just run around ******** everything in site, but say if your girlfriend made out with some other chick, apparently that's OK in society but personally i'd take it as if she just cheated on me with another guy.
Guys say bad things about girls when they mess around, but usually when a guy confronts a girl about it the guy get's more s**t then the girl should be getting.

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity?
Yes.

6.) If yes, how so?
Cheating and being a slut became kind of a trend, sadly. I think it still is.

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on?
Confront her about it, and see how it goes from then on.

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone?
Yes i have.

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?
It felt terrible, i cheated on a girl that i went out with for TWO YEARS. And to have someone that was that big of a part of your life leave you was devastating. I'm never doing it again.

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?
a lot of the stuff i said is just coming from my mind and what i've heard so if i'm wrong on ANY of this AT ALL. Please tell me so i can realize how stupid i am.

[Exploded Soda]

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again? Y/N, list reasons if you have any
Maybe. I think it depends on the person and their reasons for cheating the first time and how cheating on someone affected them.

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater? Y/N
Yes

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation? Y/N
Eh, yes but I'm not sure quite how to put why I feel that way into words

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?
NA

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity? Y/N
Maybe? I'm really not sure

6.) If yes, how so?
NA

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on?
I've been cheated on before, I left the person.

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone? Y/N
Yep

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?
Horrid. So much guilt. The relationship was already on the outs but that didn't make me feel any less terrible after it happened.

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?
nope

[cool4]

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again? Y/N, list reasons if you have any
Not necessarily, people are dynamic, they change. If the cheating happened when they were young they might not when they start looking for longer term commitments. Though If they've cheated before it my be an indicator that they will cheat again. I think it comes down to age, what each person considers cheating, and the reasons why they cheat.

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater? Y/N
No, assuming by player you mean someone who tries to or gets with a bunch of people. You don't have to be in a committed relationship because you're on a date with someone. If you see it as cheating it's probably confusion on the exclusivity of your relationship. The terms need to be discussed.

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation? Y/N
I think it might not be gender/sexual orientation based, but everyone has differences. In every relationship you need to discuss if you're exclusive, what do you consider cheating. Whatever the couple involved considers cheating, infidelity is violation of those factors.

It may be viewed differently based on the dynamic of the relationship, but it isn't a gender/orientation issue.

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?
N/A

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity? Y/N
Maybe

6.) If yes, how so?
Cultures that accept infidelity. Maybe a lack of happiness leading to an ability to see what's good in a relationship and then ending up cheating to find new fulfillment? People cheat for different reasons so who knows. stats on this relationship can probably be found.

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on?
I find it something I would not accept in my relationships, and if I found out I would leave. It's one of my deal breakers, because it violates my own values.

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone? Y/N
No, To cheat on someone would violate my values, and I could not feel good about myself.

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation?

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?
Cheating is a violation of the terms decided upon by the people in a relationship, I consider it a violation of my values in life, these tend to include integrity and loyalty.

[Posties The Artificer]

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again?I don't know.

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater?No. They're exploiters, which is just a use of a feature that isn't formed well.

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation?Yes.

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?Men are often portrayed as completing an achievement. Women given them same are sluts ect...so say's many people.

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity? Race is a part of culture, and culture does influence such things.

6.) If yes, how so?Yes. People share commonality in color, with that people form relations and culture based on it. Like the perception of a "real *****".

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on?Remove all contacts, and everything relative to them from my life. Depending on the reason.

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone?No, but I would if it would save their life or other circumstances. Not just to do it for relationship issues. That's not justifiable.

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation? N/A

10.) Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?

[AkioMaster]

1.) Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again? Yes.

2.) Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater? No, but they're not someone I'd want to be involved with romantically.

3.) Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation? Not really. I think in monogamous relationships, what is considered as "cheating" is almost universal.

4.) If yes, what differences do you personally think there are? N/A

5.) Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity?
No, I don't think race or social standing affect whether or not someone feels they can lie to their partner or sleep with someone else.

6.) If yes, how so? N/A

7,) What would you do if you were cheated on? I may try to talk it out and work it out, but I don't think it would work out in long run.

8.) Have you ever cheated on someone? No.

9.) If you have cheated on someone, how does it feel, from your side of the situation? N/A

[Coffee Before Talkie]

Do you think a person who has cheated once will do so again?
-- Yes . If he wasn't going to again, he shouldn't have done so in the first place .

Do you consider a player to be a type of cheater?
-- Yes . Unless the girls don't mind it . Mebe .

Are there differences in how infidelity is viewed based on gender identity/sexual orientation?
-- It's always there . There will always be somebody who has something negative to say .

If yes, what differences do you personally think there are?
-- If it's a guy, reactions are he's some sort of extremely handsome b*****d .
Like it's just some sort of joke to be praised . It it's a girl, automatically assumed
a slut, easy, will do anyone . Of course, I don't see everyone like this . But
there are people who are exactly like this . And vice versa .

Do you believe that race and social standing may affect acts of infidelity?
-- No, I don't believe that . If it's for some reason like a
polygamous marriage, then technically, it's not cheating .

What would you do if you were cheated on?
-- As a matter of fact, I have . Leave 'em . No excuses, no arguments .

Have you ever cheated on someone?
-- No . Because I know how painful it is to the people affected .

Do you have any further opinions, concerns or any questions you want to add?
-- I do think not everyone cheats "on purpose" . I have friends like those .
More on the effects of drinking . But of course, those tendencies can be controlled .
If they truly want to control it, that is .