Beauty = object?

[Kappaccino]

So although sometimes I disagree with the opinion, a lot of people like to tell me that I'm beautiful. Apparently that's synonymous with becoming the group object in my group of friends. I'm boobs and butt. Yippee.

Last night I had a Halloween party and one of my friends suddenly and loudly asked who wanted to have sex with me, and everyone raised their hands. Honestly, I was more pissed than flattered - and so was my boyfriend. People are always making jokes about wanting me and my appearance and the like, and it pisses him off to no end. I kind of hate how I'm suddenly in this position, and I hate how I feel like it's my fault.

So, let's see...discuss:
Does beauty automatically make it okay to objectify someone?
Or does it just make it easier?
Any similar situations out there?
How do you feel if someone randomly admits they'd like to have sex with you?
Any advice for my situation?
Any similar situations of your own?

[I-IeLLen In VVonDerLand]

XD!!!!!!!!!!

Really?
No please i don't want to go there. Not again.

[Taurtarus]

you should post pictures.

[Florentine]

Beauty does not equal attractiveness. Chances are you're an attractive young female surrounded by less-than-appealing people, setting you apart even further. Objectifying certain body parts certainly does not mean that people find you beautiful. You can choose whether you accept their behaviour or hold true to yourself and tell them off.

[I-IeLLen In VVonDerLand]

Taurtarus

you should post pictures.

This!

[Majnooni]

Well, here's my experience. I used to dress pretty normally when I was a bit younger. Average clothes, not provocative at all, but because of my body and appearance, enough to show my sexuality and get attention, though not on purpose. People would tell me I was pretty a lot, which was fine, but they also felt comfortable talking about sexual things involving me, and men that I just met would say they thought I was sexy etc.

I thought, "I'm not that kind of person, so why does this seem ok to them"?

Long story short, I now pay a lot more attention to modesty in my clothes and actions. I still dress nicely, but I don't wear anything tight or revealing, and I make sure the way I act doesn't come across as flirtatious. Since that change, people approach me with a lot more respect and caution, because I'm giving off a vibe that says "my body is not for you to see or comment on". I'm non verbally demanding that people get to know me, because I am not inviting them to judge me superficially, or think of me in a purely sexual way. Some people still do, I suppose, but not nearly as much.

That's just how I feel about it. It's wrong that people objectify others so easily, but the only way to stop it is to present yourself in a way that clearly states that it's not acceptable.

[Kappaccino]

Majnooni

Well, here's my experience. I used to dress pretty normally when I was a bit younger. Average clothes, not provocative at all, but because of my body and appearance, enough to show my sexuality and get attention, though not on purpose. People would tell me I was pretty a lot, which was fine, but they also felt comfortable talking about sexual things involving me, and men that I just met would say they thought I was sexy etc.

I thought, "I'm not that kind of person, so why does this seem ok to them"?

Long story short, I now pay a lot more attention to modesty in my clothes and actions. I still dress nicely, but I don't wear anything tight or revealing, and I make sure the way I act doesn't come across as flirtatious. Since that change, people approach me with a lot more respect and caution, because I'm giving off a vibe that says "my body is not for you to see or comment on". I'm non verbally demanding that people get to know me, because I am not inviting them to judge me superficially, or think of me in a purely sexual way. Some people still do, I suppose, but not nearly as much.

That's just how I feel about it. It's wrong that people objectify others so easily, but the only way to stop it is to present yourself in a way that clearly states that it's not acceptable.

I've thought of that too, and an incident awhile ago made me totally reevaluate everything I owned. a good 98% of the time now I wear things that entirely cover my chest and very rarely wear skirts above more than a little above the knee. And if I'm wearing something low cut, I'm 98% of the time wearing a sweatshirt or jacket over it.

The problem is that most of these people are my friends, and have been for awhile. It's making it hard for me to trust them, and for my boyfriend to trust me.

[M a l i c e R i n g o]

Your group of friends sound idiotic. It's good it pissed you and your boyfriend off. If jokes don't have boundaries especially when it comes to that, then its time to smash some faces in.

[Koji_magyar]

so.... high school party or frat party?
seriously, normal adults don't say s**t like that to people unless they're really drunk or toolbags.

[Shima Shinji]

Tape down your boobs and wear sweat pants.

[sooty1987]

Taurtarus

you should post pictures.

mrgreen

[Raht]

The male mind is attracted to curves. Men are visual while women are more about audio.

I'm sorry you have to go through that stuff sad Any kind of actions as those are rather disgusting on their part. I can't say I've had that before, since I'm a big girl.

I say kick their asses mrgreen

[fayebelly]

Does beauty automatically make it okay to objectify someone? Or does it just make it easier?
Yes... Beautiful things should be appreciated, whether they like it or not... You don't see a painting saying "STOP STARING AT ME!!!".

Any similar situations out there?
Any attractive female who goes out in public will be perved upon by the majority of people she passes... And some males...

How do you feel if someone randomly admits they'd like to have sex with you?
Flattered, but grossed out. I then avoid that person, because deep down, I'm a prude. But just because they admit that they'd quite like to do you doesn't mean that they're going to...

Any advice for my situation?
Get over it! You're a female, this is how you will be treated for the rest of your life, either spend it sulking that people are objectifying you or use it to your advantage. Also, get new friends, they sound like morons... And do some perving of your own, you have the perfect justification!

Any similar situations of your own?
I'm a female who has gone out in public...

[Aidan Wallcroft II]

Taurtarus

you should post pictures.