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Professional Informer

Whether you like it or not you have issues if you are into BDSM. I don't care if you are offended because if we all stopped saying stuff because someone would get offended I don't think our nation would've come to where we are today.

I read this whole article about this woman's BDSM fetish and lifestyle and trying to say that it was a healthy lifestyle...


This whole article made me feel like someone was trying to make excuses to stay with their abusive good for nothing partner. Or my cousin trying to make excuses to 'borrow' a thousand bucks for a new iphone... Jesus, it might sound and feel totally understandable but it ain't. You don't need that new IPhone and no it ain't an investment....

Also for those people who think I am norrow minded: If I accepted everything everyone said I think I would be in jail or in a mental instituiton. Have some common sense for god's sake!

Timid Combatant

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You literally do not make a single point in this post.

Professional Informer

Raven Winter
You literally do not make a single point in this post.


Probably cause I jammed a bit too much in one.

Timid Combatant

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H_O_L_I_K_O_O
Raven Winter
You literally do not make a single point in this post.


Probably cause I jammed a bit too much in one.

No, it's not that.

Professional Informer

Raven Winter
H_O_L_I_K_O_O
Raven Winter
You literally do not make a single point in this post.


Probably cause I jammed a bit too much in one.

No, it's not that.


My point was that people with unhealthy lifestyles are making excuses to let other people accept it.

im done fam's Princess

Nymph

or maybe you're just incapable of differentiating real abusive behavior and people's kinks
BDSM and SM are not one bit about being involved with an abusive partner. Those relationships are built around both consenting partners. There's trust, safe words; people don't go into that type of sexual lifestyle immediately getting choked and whipped and being bound by rope. People can get hurt easily doing BDSM so there's a lot of practicing and education both partners go through.

A bad relationship is a bad relationship and bdsm is not a factor. You clearly don't like the idea of people exploring that kind of sexual relationship, but saying it's wrong and that these people are trying to shove it in your face and make you accept it is really stupid.

Timid Combatant

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H_O_L_I_K_O_O
Raven Winter
H_O_L_I_K_O_O
Raven Winter
You literally do not make a single point in this post.


Probably cause I jammed a bit too much in one.

No, it's not that.


My point was that people with unhealthy lifestyles are making excuses to let other people accept it.

That was your argument, yes. However, you gave no points to support it. You didn't justify your assertion that it constitutes an unhealthy lifestyle; you didn't specify what you think BDSM actually is -- I suspect you are under certain misapprehensions -- you didn't justify the quality psychiatric assertion that people are "making excuses", etc.
The only thing there was a fallacious appeal at the end to the notion of "common sense", an idea so vague and generalized that it effectively does not refer to anything.

When I say you made no points, I mean you gave a position and then did nothing to justify it rationally or give any further explanation.

Space Phantom

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blame 50 shades of grey

and look forward to when that loses its' steam.

Professional Informer

Raven Winter
H_O_L_I_K_O_O
Raven Winter
H_O_L_I_K_O_O
Raven Winter
You literally do not make a single point in this post.


Probably cause I jammed a bit too much in one.

No, it's not that.


My point was that people with unhealthy lifestyles are making excuses to let other people accept it.

That was your argument, yes. However, you gave no points to support it. You didn't justify your assertion that it constitutes an unhealthy lifestyle; you didn't specify what you think BDSM actually is -- I suspect you are under certain misapprehensions -- you didn't justify the quality psychiatric assertion that people are "making excuses", etc.
The only thing there was a fallacious appeal at the end to the notion of "common sense", an idea so vague and generalized that it effectively does not refer to anything.

When I say you made no points, I mean you gave a position and then did nothing to justify it rationally or give any further explanation.


I am not writing an English essay and I would think that for most people it would be common sense . Tell me what am I misunderstanding when people are tying each other and playing master and servant kinda thing?

Would you justify incest? by your reasoning you sound like you would...

I would need to provide all that information to someone in jr high and even they wouldn't need that much explanation.
H_O_L_I_K_O_O


I am not writing an English essay and I would think that for most people it would be common sense . Tell me what am I misunderstanding when people are tying each other and playing master and servant kinda thing?

Would you justify incest? by your reasoning you sound like you would...

I would need to provide all that information to someone in jr high and even they wouldn't need that much explanation.

Because people are into that sort of thing? There are people who like to be dominant and people who like to be submissive. People seek that out to be part of their sexual lives.

Now would you explain to me how you make the link between bdsm and incest? Because You don't like bdsm so you want to link it to something that socially unexceptionable to make a reason for people to find it disgusting?

Is english your first language?

OG Streaker

i personally find it that the submissive doesnt mind as long as they know their limits
so
how is it abuse?

Indulgent Partner

My peer reviewed, academic sources say you are wrong. By a lot dear....

Frankly, if you want to get down to more current psycho-analytic theory, consensual BDSM is the Superego's sublimation of our more animalistic needs that our Id screams at us to do. The Id is our reptile brain - eat, ********, sleep (Eat ALL the things!) Ego is our more realistic brain incorporating reality (one cannot eat ALL the things - my stomach will burst) and Superego is our social and moral structures (I cannot eat ALL the things because my stomach will burst and its stealing)

Jung (Freud's fanboy and a fav of mine) would suggest most BDSM is Shadow Play, or working with our Ego's rejected self qualities. Nasty things like sexism, racism, murder, torture, and greed live in our Shadow. The Shadow is the monster who chases you down in your dreams at night - as Jung postulates everything in your dream is a reflection of Self. Confronting your Shadow is a key part of Jung's dream theory and unifying the Self.

As someone who is kinky, and has a foundation in psych PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS PURPLE AND FUZZY STOP USING OUTDATED INFO! Nothing is worse than spreading outdated - dis proven knowledge. It hurts people. It insults people. And worse, it makes it harder for me to live my life as a kinky human being because people "think" I will murder them in their sleep because I like to be tied up and beaten.

As I am currently aware the DSM - 5 does not deviate from the DSM-IV-TR's stance on sexual masochism and sexual sadism. Both of these listings assert that it only becomes a disorder when it impacts someones daily life negatively and/or causes distress to the person and/or when it involves non-consensual acts. Then and only then is it a mental disorder.

Kinks ARE NOT mental disorders, ARE NOT "repressed feelings from past trauma and abuse". They are natural human variance in sexual taste. While I still have access to peer review journals, here are few. All are peer reviewed and retrieved from psychinfo's database. If you would like population data, sampling size, and sampling methods I will be happy to fish that out for you - only if you ask. All of these journal articles are saved on my laptop.

"Conclusion. Our findings support the idea that BDSM is simply a sexual interest or subculture attractive to a minority, and for most participants not a pathological symptom of past abuse or difficulty with “normal” sex."
Richters, J., de Visser, R. O., Rissel, C. E., Grulich, A. E., & Smith, A. A. (2008 ). Demographic and psychosocial features of participants in bondage and discipline, 'sadomasochism' or dominance and submission (BDSM): Data from a national survey. Journal Of Sexual Medicine, 5(7), 1660-1668.

"Although psychoanalytic literature suggests that high levels of certain types of psychopathology should be prevalent among BDSM practitioners, this sample failed to produce widespread, high levels of psychopathology on psychometric measures of depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsion, psychological sadism, psychological masochism, or PTSD. In fact, on measures of clinical psychopathology and severe personality pathology, this sample appeared to be comparable to both published test norms and to DSMIV-TR estimates for the general population."
Connolly, P. H. (2006). Psychological Functioning of Bondage/Domination/Sado-Masochism (BDSM) Practitioners. Journal Of Psychology & Human Sexuality, 18(1), 79-120.

"Therapists believed that an accepting, nonjudgmental attitude toward BDSM was the most crucial element of cultural competence. Every therapist we interviewed discussed this issue. Some described situations in which clients had been alienated or traumatized by the unaccepting or judgmental attitudes of previous therapists:"
Lawrence, A. A., & Love-Crowell, J. (2008 ). Psychotherapists' experience with clients who engage in consensual sadomasochism: A qualitative study. Journal Of Sex & Marital Therapy, 34(1), 63-81.

“Regarding the major personality dimensions, our findings suggest that BDSM participants as a group are, compared with non-BDSM participants, less neurotic, more extraverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, yet less agreeable. BDSM participants also were less rejection sensitive, whereas female BDSM participants had more confidence in their relationships, had a lower need for approval, and were less anxiously attached compared with non-BDSM participants. Finally, the subjective well-being of BDSM participants was higher than that of the control group. Together, these findings suggest that BDSM practitioners are characterized by greater psychological and interpersonal strength and autonomy, rather than by psychological maladaptive characteristics.”
Van Assen, M. Wismeijer, A., (2013). Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners. Journal of sexual medicine, 10(8 ), 1943-1952.

/info dump of awesome

Indulgent Partner

H_O_L_I_K_O_O
Whether you like it or not you have issues if you are into BDSM. I don't care if you are offended because if we all stopped saying stuff because someone would get offended I don't think our nation would've come to where we are today.

I read this whole article about this woman's BDSM fetish and lifestyle and trying to say that it was a healthy lifestyle...


This whole article made me feel like someone was trying to make excuses to stay with their abusive good for nothing partner. Or my cousin trying to make excuses to 'borrow' a thousand bucks for a new iphone... Jesus, it might sound and feel totally understandable but it ain't. You don't need that new IPhone and no it ain't an investment....

Also for those people who think I am norrow minded: If I accepted everything everyone said I think I would be in jail or in a mental instituiton. Have some common sense for god's sake!
BDSM is not abuse. Period. End of story. Consensual sex isn't rape. Consensual BDSM isn't abuse. I think you are falling to a personal bias (a negative experience with a family member in an aparent abusive situation) and conflated abuse, with consensual, negotiated, BDSM.

Here a chart

BDSM activities are ALWAYS Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Abuse is NEVER safe, NEVER sane, and NEVER consensual.

BDSM follows established rules. Abuse has no rules.

BDSM is negotiated for the safety of both partners. Abuse is NEVER negotiated.

BDSM activities are used for mutual pleasure. Abuse is used to terrorize, frighten and control.

In BDSM, safewords can be used to stop any activity. If someone is being abused they cannot stop what is happening to them.

BDSM activities are about pleasure and being connected. Abuse is about power and control.

KNOW THE DIFFERENCE ---END DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Leather Association:International

Fuzzy Member

Yeah what else is new.

Were you trying to do something to stem the tide of bondage or something?

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