I really don't know. I'm glad I'm not worse off, I guess.
I thought I was going to die at 18. When I didn't, everything from there was pretty much icing on the cake, no matter how shitty it was.
I don't have an objective goal in my life. So without being on some sort of scale of "progressed no where" and "Achieved goal" I'm way over on the other side of the planet. So it's hard to say if I'm happy or not.
I went to college for video production. I figured out video production was not a field I really wanted to be in for a living. So I left. I moved back in with my parents at 20. I felt like a huge failure.
I joined the military, but I was doing a job I hated doing there. I tried to change jobs, they wouldn't let me, so I got out. Navy was awesome. My job wasn't. I was proud of myself at the time and I was really happy with being in the Navy and doing all I did (despite my job sucking). So now that I'm out, I'm kind of like "Well, nothing's going to be able to compare to that sort of pride."
In the time that I've been out, I've made a lot of progress regarding my mental/psychological state. I'm no longer actively thinking about suicide. So that's a good thing. I don't really feel like a failure anymore, so that's a good thing too.
But in the same vein, I'm living with my grandparents at 25 years old, I have no job and really don't plan on getting one any time soon, and I have little to no social life.
That's obviously bad.
There are people (in my family) that feel I'm just a huge leech. It's only partly true. Also I think it's hilarious since the main guy who thinks I'm a huge leech is the same guy who has zero money and begs for cash from all the other family members. But I digress.
I like who I am as a PERSON. I have grown considerably and I think I'm a great guy.
But I don't like who I am as a professional. Because point blanc, I am not one and I don't think I ever will be. I'm aimless. I hate being in one spot. I wander all the time.
I have saved up enough money to considerably travel for the rest of my life and not give a ******** about real societal obligations (And I got that money through working and penny pinching the reward,
not by other people giving me money because they felt sorry for me).
Am I happy about this? I don't know.
For some reason that worries me, too.