Welcome to Gaia! ::

Dolce Rogue
I was bullied and I honestly think people should be encouraging kids to stand up for themselves and grow thick skin.

I believe in the "eye for an eye" law, because "telling your teacher/parents" is just stupid. It doesn't do anything and it only worsens the problem.



ha if the whole world did the eye for an eye thing, we'd all be blind. But then again thats not completely a bad thing.
LilPinkCandy's avatar

Fashionable Shopper

User ImageWe need to teach children how to accept kids who might be "different" instead of letting kids figure it out for themselves. Kids pick on each other for everything from clothing style, health problems, and how you look in general. If you teach tolerance then perhaps kids will learn how to deal with others from an early age.

In addition, bullying needs to be seen as a crime instead of just being sent to another school. If you get sent to a "bad kids" school for doing it for a certain amount of time then maybe some kids will think twice. Obviously one fight or one name call is excessive but if there is a pattern then it needs cracked down on.

The problem is zero tolerance. If the bully stands up for herself then she also gets in trouble despite trying to defend herself. If she tells then the consequences is tenfold. Its a no win situation. Most of the time the bully gets a few days off school. Oh, what a punishment. rolleyes If you are a trouble-maker then you don't care about your grades enough to think that is a punishment.

Punishments are another thing in school that seems to be useless. I once had a detention for wearing a jacket (the rule was you could wear a jacket but they changed it THAT day and of course I didn't brig a sweater because they failed to tell us in advance). I read a book. I enjoyed it because I read a book and I liked reading. It was basically no different than study hall except talking was prohibited which was nice because no one was being loud.
I simply think that most students don't care about the punishments they are given. My friends came to school after hours, broke something and then had to come back and fix it as a punishment. It was quite effective because they never did it again. They had to pay for and fix it. Inadvertently they saved the school because the school flooded and they were able to stop portions of the school from being affected. Most kids who act out don't want to be there. They just have to be. Sending them home does nothing. A lot of kids don't pay attention because they don't understand the material or simply don't learn that way. They bully out of boredom and frustration. I think looking into why a kid is misbehaving and correcting it might help. But they don't because no one does anything about bullies.



              Sullen BabyDoll05


              I don't think telling kids to grow a thick skin is protecting bullies. I think it's an important life lesson that every child needs to learn. All throughout life you're going to come across a situation and you won't make it if you don't have a thick skin. When my fiancé's ex wife is mean and spiteful I can't call a principal and say, "she said she doesn't approve if me and won't let me pick the son up from school." You can't go to a teacher and say, "this college ruined my dreams, because they didn't accept me into the school." You can't go to a counselor and say, "My boss criticized my work and it hurt my feelings." Kids need to learn now that they're going to face disappointment and have someone say something mean or offensive to them all throughout life.

              While I don't think bullies should get away with being mean, I don't think we should coddle our children.

LilPinkCandy's avatar

Fashionable Shopper

a peaceful revolt


              Sullen BabyDoll05


              I don't think telling kids to grow a thick skin is protecting bullies. I think it's an important life lesson that every child needs to learn. All throughout life you're going to come across a situation and you won't make it if you don't have a thick skin. When my fiancé's ex wife is mean and spiteful I can't call a principal and say, "she said she doesn't approve if me and won't let me pick the son up from school." You can't go to a teacher and say, "this college ruined my dreams, because they didn't accept me into the school." You can't go to a counselor and say, "My boss criticized my work and it hurt my feelings." Kids need to learn now that they're going to face disappointment and have someone say something mean or offensive to them all throughout life.

              While I don't think bullies should get away with being mean, I don't think we should coddle our children.




User Image But those things are not the same as a kid just being a bully for the hell of it. Bullying can also be physical as well. What happens in the real world when someone beats you up? You go to court, get convicted, and in some cases go to jail or pay a fine. When someone harasses you; you call the authorities. Why should that be any different for kids except on a smaller scale. If school is supposed to prepare you for the real world then the consequences should also reflect that as well.

Not every kid can grow a thick skin. I couldn't. Bullying just made me afraid of social situations. I was afraid the first week of college because it was a public school. I was scared all those same kids would be there and taunt me again. The effects of bullying is still there today. I still don't get jokes because of it. I still can't always tell the difference between joking and making fun of me. Its not normal to come home from school in the 5th grade with stress headaches, scream your head of for hours because kids can't leave you alone. I shouldn't have to grow a thick skin. Its not who I am nor will I ever be. School's should punish bullies. Laws should punish them.

An ex of your fiance is protecting her son- not bullying you for the heck of it.
Colleges don't accept everyone. Its not making fun of your nor is it taunting or physically harming you.
A boss criticizing work is not the same as being taunted and abused.

Bullying is abuse. If you abuse people in the world then you face the consequences for it by usually going to jail. However, we teach kids that its okay to abuse their peers by invoking policies that protect the bullies by making the victims too afraid to tell. Bullying is not the same as disappointment- its abuse.
Resonare Praeteriti's avatar

Beloved Sex Symbol

There will always be bullies. How they are dealt with separates the weak from the strong, as it is a sort of 'coming of age' trial. Social Darwinism put into practice.

I, for one, am one of the strong, as I have appropriately dealt with my bulling situation, and nobody has messed with me since. This is not a unique case, as most people you meet in the adult world have been bullied in the past and gotten through it themselves. Life went on, and they recognized that.

Those who killed themselves, I give my sympathies, but as it stands they were the weak ones. They couldn't handle the situation, so they ran from it in the most final escape they knew of, death. They had been so sheltered and shielded from spitefulness and hate that they didn't know how to deal with it when it was their turn to be tested.
Resonare Praeteriti
There will always be bullies. How they are dealt with separates the weak from the strong, as it is a sort of 'coming of age' trial. Social Darwinism put into practice.

I, for one, am one of the strong, as I have appropriately dealt with my bulling situation, and nobody has messed with me since. This is not a unique case, as most people you meet in the adult world have been bullied in the past and gotten through it themselves. Life went on, and they recognized that.

Those who killed themselves, I give my sympathies, but as it stands they were the weak ones. They couldn't handle the situation, so they ran from it in the most final escape they knew of, death. They had been so sheltered and shielded from spitefulness and hate that they didn't know how to deal with it when it was their turn to be tested.


The problem with your logic is that assuming all bullying is the same, it's not. The suicidal victims could very well be strong but deal with much harsher bullying than others. There's a big difference between someone calling you fat one time and having someone continually trying to trigger you into having a seizure.
Resonare Praeteriti's avatar

Beloved Sex Symbol

Sullen BabyDoll05
Resonare Praeteriti
There will always be bullies. How they are dealt with separates the weak from the strong, as it is a sort of 'coming of age' trial. Social Darwinism put into practice.

I, for one, am one of the strong, as I have appropriately dealt with my bulling situation, and nobody has messed with me since. This is not a unique case, as most people you meet in the adult world have been bullied in the past and gotten through it themselves. Life went on, and they recognized that.

Those who killed themselves, I give my sympathies, but as it stands they were the weak ones. They couldn't handle the situation, so they ran from it in the most final escape they knew of, death. They had been so sheltered and shielded from spitefulness and hate that they didn't know how to deal with it when it was their turn to be tested.


The problem with your logic is that assuming all bullying is the same, it's not. The suicidal victims could very well be strong but deal with much harsher bullying than others. There's a big difference between someone calling you fat one time and having someone continually trying to trigger you into having a seizure.

It's a test of strength and willpower, regardless. There is no flaw because I never placed a cap on how sever the teasing, or torture, could get. It is still social Darwinism, and if you can overcome it and live, by whatever means necessary within the limit of the law, you win.

I never said everyone's test is the same, because it isn't, or else we could and would cheat. No, it's personalized for everyone, life's little way of making sure that we all know how to handle ourselves in the toughest of situations.
Bullying has always existed and will always exist. I guess the bullied ones should either get help or find a way to toughen up, or both.

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games